How long had it been since Minka had entered her eternal sleep and left the pack to fend for itself? She had lost track of the suns and moons in her worries. It had been, a while, but she knew to them it would feel much longer. How the children; or perhaps more accurately, the one child who had actually grieved for his mother and Kova, had gotten along was a mystery; though she had done what ever she could to facilitate it. It must have been years for them already. There wasn't a day she didn't feel for the boys, or for Gent as he scrambled to make sense of loosing his counterpart and the warmth of his adoptive children in one fell swoop. Each time her thoughts drifted to Minka, and each time she saw the kids cry, they whimpered sorrowfully. My friend you left so early... so suddenly. On top of things Calanthe wasn't herself; she had seemingly lost a lot of her progress since joining them; and the others were probably feeling alienated by the utter explosion of the pack's core unit. It was a mess. 



Among the many thoughts that had wrestled sleep from her grasp was the panic of realizing she was now responsible for it. Every hint of unease; every crack in the barricade was on her head now too. She not only had to be Gent's level head; his reasoning and logic, but his foundation as well. And so it was true for the rest of them. She was running herself ragged trying to keep everyone together, to keep them all from worrying too much or feeling unwelcome as they picked up the pieces. Now she had to worry about the impending pack meeting and her debut as an Alpha. how had she even gotten here? Just the right place at the right time, or, perhaps the right place at the wrong time. 


What moved her from the den on this chilly autumn morning though was none of the above. She had seen the tension grow between Minka's eldest and the King, and somewhere inside it had set off a chain reaction; a tumbling of successive thoughts that brought her to one conclusion and one conclusion alone. Perhaps if Minka had remained, and the two had become close, there might have been pup's bearing Gent's name come spring, but that was off the table now. As it was, there was no chance in her mind that he would be breeding this year, and with Kova coming of age soon she knew what had to take place. Surely Gent did not seek to take the boy's birth right from him; to bar Kova from his father's throne simply because he wanted it to himself. Raela doubted this was his aim; the man had been nothing but a good step-father to them all, but she needed to be sure.

She needed to be sure that Gent realized that Kova would likely be challenging him; seeking the leadership for the honor of his deceased parents now more than ever. It was only natural. In her mind, with so much owed to the old Alpha pair, it was not their place to rule here once the Prince was ready. She had made a vow to Minka's family and she intended to serve it. She would see Kova offered the role; if he truly wanted it. But first; the black mammoth had to be consulted quietly, and alone. It was no surprise that his scent trail led to the borders. She could see how he tried to keep working; to tirelessly secure Minka's land for the broken family while everyone grieved. Raela came upon him at a brisk trot, her tail waving lazily as a sign of her good intent. The nerves and the weight of what she had to say pressed forward in her golden eyes.

"Gent? Something's bothering me."  

It was a comfort when Raela sought him out, especially on this morning. They had already discussed bringing the pack together later today, both to impart information to the subordinates as well as place them all upon the same common ground finally after the earthquake of Minka's passing had scattered them so thoroughly. His nerves were acting up again, doubts plentiful within his mind despite his best efforts to beat them back. The limited emotions held within him were rubbed raw and it was affecting everything that he did. There was a constant feeling of losing grasp, but when Raela was around all of this ebbed away and he was able to relax.




A low chuff dropped from his jaws as she approached, tail picking up to show the mirth her presence brought him. Concern was present within her eyes, and as her voice entered the air he could tell by her tones that this was to be a business discussion.



"Alright, shoot," he responded, ready to listen to whatever it was that was eating at her. Even when speaking of the things that were bothering him, if it was with Raela, everything was made better, easier to wrap his mind around and handle. It didn't matter what she wanted to tell him, he was glad to be presented with a manageable problem. Perhaps she was wrestling with it, perhaps if it had been within his own mind and he was alone he would want to dismiss and ignore it. But together, they could take it on, for together, they could take on anything.

She was grateful to see that Gent was in reasonably good spirits upon her arrival; returning her gesture fully. A smile flickered across the agouti woman's face before his own words pricked her ears. There was no further ceremony needed for her to speak her mind; and in light of this Raela thought it best to just spring right into the dangerous territory that was suggesting her dearest friend give up his rank to the Crest Prince when the time came. Turning to bring herself up alongside the man, the new Queen gestured with her head for him to follow; so that they might continue his duties while speaking. It was easier that way; and they could avoid shirking their duties to the pack by talking idly. After only a few steps her creamy maw parted with the long-awaited words. 



"Kova's going to be an adult this spring," she eased in, her voice light. Just how to bring this all up, and how to do it gently was an issue that had dug away at her mind for quite a while. She only hoped her method would work. At the very least she trusted that he would allow her to speak openly; even if there was disagreement. With that in mind the girl continued. "It, wouldn't be surprising to me if he decided to try and work his way up the ranks; with this being his parents' pack and all." Of course it was all speculation; the Lagina boy might decide leadership wasn't for him, but just in case... "I don't think he would be a bad fit; if he wanted it, and with everything Minka and her mate did for me – I feel like it would be wrong for me not to try and help him succeed." The words were getting heavier; closer to home and she was growing more nervous. 


"But, it wouldn't be my place, and it made me wonder what you intend to do if he ever challenges you," Her golden eyes drifted toward him cautiously, though her head remained forward. Gent could react in any number of ways; and she didn't want to put undue pressure on the already stressed man. Gent had ascended the Crest's ranks so quickly and with such fervor it was hard to see him willingly giving up his title and living beneath another; but perhaps it was possible. This whole time she had thought that both he and Astraeus had the same noble intention; to keep the pack strong until Minka's children could assume the throne; but there was always a chance that that had changed; or that it had never been the case at all. 

The king willingly fell into step next to her, thankful wholly for this allowance for both physical and mental distraction from himself. It did not take long for her to breach the subject, and this too he found himself grateful. The unease of everything around him was melting rapidly away as he embraced the comfort of this time spent with his closest friend, how wonderfully synchronized her choices were with his needs whether the effort on her part was directed consciously toward this end or not. Immediately, she had his interest peaked as Kova's name was dropped, curiosity lifting his ears further and twisting them toward her to capture each and every syllable along with all inflections.

Once it was all out, he found himself contemplating the topic silently, a wide pause created between her initiation and his response. In ways, he had considered this, spurred by the hate and accusation he had seen within the boy's eyes the night of Minka's death. Yet so much had changed with that single event, his focus being quartered and drawn in so many directions that it wasn't until now, with Raela helping him to gather his attention singularly onto the subject, that he was able to truly weigh all of the factors and possibilities involved.

Before the tragedy, it had been possible for Gent to court Minka, to take her as his wife and create his own legacy with her. If it had all worked beautifully to plan, the man would have been determined to wipe Tokino's name away, allowing only his own progeny to continue the throne. Everything had been go so smoothly, Kova himself even seemingly to love the blue eyed beast. Now all was shattered. His crown dropped a few inches, indication of the melancholy his thoughts were causing him, and he longed to open his maw and let them all out. Surely by now he could trust that if he only relented his grip on all of the pieces to the puzzle, Raela could help him place them altogether. And yet he still felt that perhaps some things were better left unsaid.

"It's the only way, isn't it? I can't very well take away what she worked so hard to build," he offered truthfully. It did not matter that @Minka had passed; this was her mountain, her sanctuary that she had given so much to create and protect and build. As small as his heart could be, Gent Lieris did not have it in him to destroy such a thing. Not Minka's.

"I'm not giving it to him; I'm not chancing the Crest crumbling. But if he wants it, if he works for it and earns it, if it's certain that he has the right wolves under him, behind him..." it seemed as though he was thinking out loud now, but this only made it clear how comfortable he felt with his current company. "... I wouldn't mind helping him to that point."

"But, Raela... you need to know. If I'm not alpha, I'm not staying."

 

The silence was tense in the woman's mind as it grasped futily at whatever the king could be thinking. He wished that he wouldn't wait so long to answer her, for as the quiet drew on she became more and more worried that the response would not be a favorable one. She watched his skull dip lower, and knew instantly that at least there probably weren't angry or resistant thoughts roaming through it. An ear pricked forward in anticipation; sensing that words would finally start slipping from his shadow lips any moment.  “It's the only way isn't it?” Raela glanced up fully; at last turning her ivory maw to face him. Relief was quick to fill her chest, but the Queen did not fully relax until he'd finished his first sentence. They were truly on the same page, it would seem. Gent's reign would be reduced to something fugacious if all went well, and he accepted it. The two of them shared more respect for the late alpha than she had first imagined.



A swift clarification followed, and the matriarch nodded in decisive agreement as they padded along. "Of course; he would have to reach second before anything could be done," she replied coolly. The new Queen had already thought of such things. It was the final rung of the ladder at which she hoped there would be civil agreement in respect for the old leaders instead of a fight where Kova forcibly deposed him. It seemed wrong to try and deny the boy his own legacy. However, for as well as the conversation had been going, her companion's last words were startling, and it shown in her honey eyes. Not staying? She just looked at him for a beat or two; growing very quiet while the words crowded frantically into her closed mouth. She had dreaded something like this. 


"...where would you go?" The woman asked finally; her voice soft and concerned, and perhaps hoping that he would take it back upon realizing that he would be alone. Would he just run to the next pack and try to conquer that as well? Anxiety found her ribcage with its charred talons and held on tight. Was he going to leave her? Was he going to vanish as Aeus had; as Tolas had; though not of his own volition? She could not stand abandonment once more, and not by her dearest friend. Her gold eyes revealed all of this; just as they always did. 

It was a can of worms that he had opened, but while he knew the conversation would not be the most prepossessing, he hadn't realized the true gravity of what had been uttered until after the words had left his mouth and he was met with those gilded eyes. Yet the decision was already made, as good as written in stone, and there would be nothing that could change it. Not even Raela, with all of the honeyed words in the world. His stomach churned uncomfortably as he was forced to come to terms with the fact that Minka's passing would continue to upheave his life even in the years to come. The king began to calculate how long it might be before Kova was ready to take the crown from him, at what point he might be forced to say goodbye to the woman who had held the ground beside him through every mess encountered since his return to the Lore.

Unless she came with him.

"I want to form my own pack," he answered without meeting her gaze. His glacial eyes thoughtfully scanned the ground ahead of each pawstep. "It was a mistake to think any of this could be permanent."

These words were followed by silence on his part, laden with a heaviness that expressed what his features attempted to hide.

"This position, being an alpha, it's my life, Raela," he continued with sudden force, the need to convince laced thinly throughout his voice as he finally raised his gaze. "I won't be satisfied with anything less." Could she understand what it meant to him? How vital it was to his very existence? Even if she did, would it make up for everything? He knew that ultimately he would pursue his own desires regardless, but that they all might think of him as a deserter caused a near physical pain. Especially Raela.

He recalled the time he had asked her if she would leave with Astraeus on a similar quest, or remain with them. With him had been his true concern, but it was Minka that she had pledged herself to. Now, with them both forever out of the equation, where would her loyalties ultimately lie? Would she still feel duty-bound to Minka's legacy and the Crest? Or would she be willing to stay by his side, even if he led her into the wilderness and far away from them all?

At this moment, he didn't have the courage to ask.

His words could have been predicted had the woman not been in such inner turmoil. Instead they left her wide eyed. In the next moment she pulled her gaze from his as if in a hurry. Thoughts swam behind them as he talked on; and she found herself feeling of all things that she should have known. she could see how he carried himself, and she remembered how he had ascended to the throne with such passion and drive. It was right for him, and he had been a good leader. Those that disagreed made little sense in her mind. What was there to complain about?



When he had stopped, the Queen replied with a sigh.  "No, I can see that." Her honey-filled pools flicked upward once more.  "You're very good at it," she admitted, lowering her ears subconsciously. He was easily better than her, that was for sure. A questioning statement finally pressed past her lips.




 "So if Kova took over, you'd leave."

He was disappointing her. Saddening her. Something he worked so hard to right, he never seemed able to make her happiness last. There was always something that brought her back to him like this, ears down and eyes wide with wet emotion. This time, it was all his own fault, and Gent was forced to wonder if perhaps it would be best that she stay behind and he leave onto his own path. Maybe he wasn't ever really helping her, maybe he was miring her.

Those thoughts should have bolstered his determination to leave, but instead they pulled upon his heartstrings, thin black threads that she had wrapped around her paw. Made him want to try harder. She always did that. It was part of why he needed her with him.

"What would you have me do, Raela?" he asked in return, voice torn between stress and resignation. He needed to know truly what was within her mind. If she thought it would be a mistake, if she thought there were better options. What she wanted from him. Even if it wouldn't change his mind, couldn't, he still needed to know. Need her counsel.

There was silence as she stared at the ground, practically waiting for it to open and swallow her whole. His exasperated question did anything but make her feel better. She visibly winced; closing her eyes against it. What could she do? "In a perfect world?" She started, again gazing at the dirt.   "I would have you stay but..." She shrugged; they both knew the futility of that statement. Air puffed from her black nostrils, and her tail twitched once. She hated that it had to be this way. 

The Queen lifted her head and ears; turning to look away from him. There was a root to all of this discomfort. She didn't want to be alone. Not again. Aeus was god knows where, Minka was dead, the children had ...changed. She had so little left, and Gent made up so much of that just by himself. The thought of him leaving – the black claws of fear gripped her chest and she grew cold. Not again. The only outward indication of it laid in her eyes. The thought of being abandoned again was too much. The words slipped from Rae's mouth out of necessity, and her head snapped around to find him. 



"I don't want to be here without you," she pleaded, pinning her ears once more like a begging child. Couldn't he understand?