SERACH & APONI DONATA

 

It was undeniable that over the last week the hot sweet smell of her heat had subsided and in its place left the telltale smell of something else. While Aponi knew her mate was smart enough to know what this meant they had yet to talk about it, the mother almost afraid that saying something out loud would jinx it. Not normally one to be superstitious the Donata was wary that perhaps things would go horribly wrong, never before had she planned the life she was carrying. Kyna and Lila had both come into the world on their own terms, strong willed from the moment they were conceived. These pups though, they were the thought and right of two alphas, would this somehow make them less viable?

Even with the doubts stowed in the back of her mind Aponi was over the moon, spending all her time with Serach and attempting to play as if they were the pups themselves. She had responsibilities and she fulfilled them, but every spare moment was spent pestering her mate with physical affection. The only complaint she could possibly have was her sudden change in sleeping patterns, awake all night no matter what she tried and sleeping much of the day away. With a bemused grin the mother wondered if perhaps she was carrying the child of the yeth-hound rather than the pale Donata's seed.

Pulling gently on her partners ear as he slept she murmured in his ear, "Come walk with me love." Without waiting to see if he would follow she stood, shaking her pelt back into place and exited to den so as to not disturb the others.

love has a quiet voice

Things had changed, and for the better. With little understanding for how it all truly worked - Serach is a wolf, after all - he was observant enough to recognize that their coupling had succeeded in its goal. Even before Aponi's scent had revealed that their was life growing inside of her womb, the tension that had filled her every step since the season had started had disappeared. She had become playful, and rather than scaring off their pack members with snarls and growls, the leaders were all smiles and crooning. Depending on who you asked, it might have actually been worse, although Serach himself was certainly pleased by the transition. It had been physically and emotionally exhausting to be up in arms and at high alert all of the time. He had no institutional memory to lead him into the next part of the journey he and Aponi had embarked on, though, so he was content to sit back and let her guide him through it.

Sleepily, Serach's pale yellow eyes opened and fluttered shut a few times. Aponi's breath was hot on his ear and neck as she tugged at him to rouse him from sleep and his other ear flicked in response. With a grunt he dug his nose deeper into his tail in silent defiance, but watched with increasing alertness as she stood up and exited the den. For just a heartbeat more he remained in his spot, but he was curious and in love - he would never seriously consider not following her no matter how much he wanted to do something else. So with just a couple of further grunts, he hoisted himself up and tiptoed around his packmates to follow her out into the world.

Taking just a moment to stretch his legs and back, he stared at her and pointedly yawned, his tail waving lazily above his back. Moving to join her, he dipped his head and nudged her cheek once before looking around them, wondering what she wanted him to look at now. "This better be good," he told her, the teasing in his tone obvious.

SERACH & APONI DONATA

 

Aponi watched with  bemused grin as Serach grunted in response to her prodding and buried his nose deeper into his tail. She wished she too could have been enveloped in such happy slumber but had been wide awake since she had awoken with the setting sun. Still, she turned and exited the den without much thought; she knew the male Donata would not be far behind her. He hadn't been since the day of her challenge after all. Laughing at his yawn the woman moved closer with a playful growl, nipping at his chest.

Since they were the same height she had ducked her head down beneath his chin and at his words real laughter rang through the trees. Nudging her muzzle against his cheek she teased, "You've already gotten the good part Serach." Suddenly butterflies flipped through her stomach. Aponi knew that he knew, knew what was growing within her but she wasn't sure she could say the words aloud yet. What if she told him tonight and by tomorrow something happened to them?

Worse yet, what if she told him tonight and she carried to term and gave birth to lifeless cubs? Or only had one survivor and Serach saw the stillborns and thought less of her? Pulling away Aponi was composed as ever behind her mask, despite the flash of emotion behind her blue eyes. Turning quickly so he couldn't read her thoughts the mother to be started a slow walk through the mist.

love has a quiet voice

She brushed against him, dipping her head beneath his muzzle so he could nuzzle the top of her head. It set his heart racing every time because it was still so new and exciting - there were still days when Serach wasn't sure if this was all real, but rather just a dream that he would inevitably wake up from. But smell of her fur and the smell of new life was not something he could ever dream, and that just made his heart race all the faster. Aponi's teasing only reconfirmed to him what he had suspected, and his smile grew. Behind him, his tail began to wag quickly, and he could not stop but shift his gaze from Aponi's face to her underbelly. He had seen the results before - several times over - but never had he gotten to experience the joy of the results being his.

As she pulled away, his eyes flicked back up to look at her. He saw her frown shift back to a smile, and his own lessened. Brows furrowing he looked at her in confusion as she began to walk away from him. It was still new in many ways, which meant Serach was still getting used to reading Aponi's facial expressions. As he joined her and they slowly walked, he almost decided to disregard it as nothing or just a figment of his imagination. But in the end, he decided to speak up, although tentatively. "If by the 'good part', you meant you, I'm completely happy with that," he told her, his voice quiet. Brushing his shoulder against her's as they walked, he chanced a question of his own, entirely unsure of what answer he was going to receive. "Is everything alright?"

SERACH & APONI DONATA

 

The woman's pace was slow though her mind raced with unvoiced thoughts. This was how she had always dealt with things in the past, on her own accord without much input or support. So when Serach's shoulder brushed hers and his quiet voice broke the silence between them Aponi flinched the smallest amount. Not out of recoil but just of surprise, when was the last one somebody has asked whether she was alright? Probably the night of her challenge, and it had been Serach that time as well.

The realization caused her paws to stop and the mother buried her face into her mate's fur, breathing his scent in deeply. Eyes clenched shut she answered in a voice barely over a whisper, ”If all of our children are born lifeless, or if only one survives will you still be so happy with me then?" It was a crack in her typically confident personality, presented perhaps for the first time in her life. Like an infinitely small fracture in fine china that had been hidden away while on display through strategic positioning. Yet even the smallest of cracks could destroy the worth of precious artifacts, as the smallest of doubts could destroy a wolf. Even a wolf who has committed as heinous acts as Aponi had.

love has a quiet voice

Aponi's body stiffened at the touch of his shoulder, and Serach stopped in his tracks. Without realizing, he held his breath and narrowed his eyes in confusion and suspense. Had he done something wrong? The poor man had struggled to keep up with Aponi's moods ever since she had gone into heat, and although her moods had certainly improved since then, he was still treading very new ground. He had no basis for this, and he was putting a lot of faith into his own instincts to mess this up. Ears flattening against his skull, he waited for the flip to switch and her mood to darken.

Instead of the tongue-lashing he was mentally preparing for, he felt the warmth of her body against him as she pressed her head against him. As friends, and even now as mates, vulnerability had been the one emotion that Aponi had not typically shared with him. It made his heart race, and his chest feel warm. His response to her was a soft croon, dipping his head beneath her's to use his muzzle to lift her eyes so he could look into them. "Do you really think I'd love you any less? Truly?" His voice was earnest, desperate to show her that he would love her no matter what. "You'd have to physically chase me away for me to not be happy with you...and even then I'd probably still come back. One or five, or even none at all, it makes no matter. If that happens, I'll be sad, of course, but not with you." Licking her cheek, he offered Aponi a smile as he pulled back to give her some space and think about what he had just said, his heart hammering away anxiously.

SERACH & APONI DONATA

Aponi could hear Serach's heartbeat quicken within his chest while her head was pressed firmly against him. Even in the split second from when she had shown her insecurity to when he reached down to caress her she took it all as a bad sign. Was his heart beating so fast because he was realizing that things may not be so easy? Was he wondering how to let her down now or planning his escape should her nightmares become reality? But then his muzzle dipped beneath hers and pulled her up so his pale green eyes focused directly into her icy blue.

Now it was Aponi's turn to have her heartbeat crash in her ribcage and her silver ears dipped backwards in shame. His words comforted hers and she leaned into his kiss while closing her eyes, emotions welling over her. Her heat, her pregnancy and all of the anxiety she had been facing about children finally coming to a head. She moved forward once more so she could drape her head onto his shoulders as if to hug him, "This is all new to me, having a father involved. It feels surreal, amazing but I worry that if I make the wrong move it will scare you away." Karpos and Mercy had been little more than childhood crushes no matter what she thought at the time but she had managed to chase them each off. Phineas had never seen her more than a one night stand, Samuel or Skoll had actually only been a one night stand.

Serach was different, Serach meant everything to her. But Aponi was still herself, it was only a matter of time until he too left.

love has a quiet voice

Serach had never been fierce or particularly aggressive, unless he was called to be so to protect the ones that he loved. "Sensitive" was a much more accurate word to describe his personality, and that was certainly true in this particular moment. He was hanging on to every word that Aponi uttered, his body tensing at every move her's made. He looked into her eyes and did his best to convey his love, but the truth was he was still scared that it would not be enough for her and he did not know how else to reaffirm that he was not going anywhere. No matter how big or small their family was made no difference to him, truly, but if she would not believe his words, he didn't have anything else.

But it seemed he had done the trick, and although he wanted to chastise her for feeling ashamed, he remained quiet while she pulled him into an embrace of her own. Her head on his back, he twisted his neck to the side so he could look at her out of the corner of his eye. A sad smile on his lips, he lifted his tail and wagged it above his back, the tip dancing in the air just a few inches above her head. "It's surreal to me too. I can't say I've ever had a mother involved in this whole process either, or a father for that matter. So at least you've got that going for you," he chuckled, lifting his lips to bare his teeth in a wolfish smile. "You're not going to scare me away, Aponi. Hell, you scared away most of my pack and I still stuck by you. This won't be any different, I promise you that." Enough time had passed that it didn't hurt so much to make a joke about the challenge, and it was the biggest example that Serach could call upon to try and demonstrate his loyalty to her. "Will you promise to stick by me? Even though my parenting experience pales in comparison to yours? Not only will you be teaching them how to live, you'll have to teach me how to parent too. But I promise I'm a quick learner, and I'm a sucker bones if you need treat ideas." He grinned at her, hoping that despite the levity in his voice, he was serious about his commitment to her and their future family.

Aponi felt Serach's neck twist as he turned to search her out but her topaz tinted eyes remained firmly closed as she soaked in the scent of him. His words had been comforting enough but at least for now a small piece of herself was always bracing for the exit. If she was ready it wouldn't hurt as much, just another crack in her persona instead of falling to pieces as she had allowed herself to do in the past. No, if Serach were to up and disappear into the blue soaked fog Aponi could not afford to fall apart, there were children now depending on her. Not just the ones growing within her now, but Lila as well who unlike her older sister actually needed the support of the silver queen.

Maybe this was why she was still holding him at a distance. Not the way she had done before, her mate knew her better than anyone else but there was still a darkness in her past that he knew nothing of. Or he knew a diluted version, the deep scorn and almost hatred she had felt for her siblings becoming stories of childhood rivalries. Her skills in combat explained through training and challenges rather than the bloody murders that had actually occurred, bodies thrown from mountains without hesitation.

All of this was hidden beneath the surface as Aponi smiled contently, "I would stick by you even if you're as inept as the pups growing within me." This at least was the full truth.