+- Ruins of Wildwood (https://relic-lore.net)
+-- Forum: Library (https://relic-lore.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=23)
+--- Forum: Game Archives (https://relic-lore.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=26)
+---- Forum: Relic Lore VII (https://relic-lore.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=150)
+---- Thread: Firefly Grove say something, i'm giving up on you (/showthread.php?tid=14691)
say something, i'm giving up on you - Lorcan - Apr 25, 2017
[dohtml]
Parent Territory: Kingsfall
Coordinates: 81.41393, 84.375
Description: Located just northwest of Hearthwood between the fork in the river, large Sequoia Trees stand watch over the water creating an area of shade. Vegetation under the trees is sparse in most areas. There are a few areas where the sun does shine through though, where the canopy is a little thinner. On most spring and autumn mornings fog settles thick and low under the canopy giving it a sort of mystical feeling. The fog usually lasts into mid-afternoon, slowly lifting as the day wears on. In winter the air is clear and crisp.
Pale paws carried the lean agouti male slowly through the maze of tall sequoia trees as he meandered his way through to the heart of the Hearthwood territory. The troubled subordinate had been keeping to himself for the past few days, busying himself whenever and however he could just so that he didn’t have to face the other wolves which gathered in the large communal den. His recent conversation with Lilya had been enlightening, and it had taken the male a few days to actually wrap his head around what she had said, but he couldn’t deny it – she was right – he couldn’t carry on the way he was any longer.
He had to confront his problems, not hide from them. He needed to make things right.
It was his determination to make fix his relationships with the wolves that he had wronged that caused him to now move with a sense of purpose through the trees of Hearthwood. His nose was lifted subtly to cold clouded sky, inhaling the menagerie of scents that crossed his path as he wondered. This afternoon he was tracking down one scent in particular. He finally found @Inna lingering at the edge of the river which ran along the outskirts of the pack territory. Instantly he began to feel sick and his stomach clenched as he stepped forwards anxiously. Russet ears pressed back nervously against his skull as his golden gaze flitted across to her.
“Inna, can we talk? Please?” He murmured quietly, almost desperately, quickly flashed her an apologetic look before he turned to begin moving away from the pack territory. They needed to talk, privately.
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Inna - Apr 25, 2017
[dohtml]
The more time that passed that she didn't hear from Lorcan it had become more apparent that he would be breaking his promise. It hurt really but more because she was sad for her children, that they may never know their father. Whatever emotional attachment she might have to the tawny man didn't matter. She still didn't understand why he had left her like he had but she felt that it was best to just leave him alone. Inna had made the decision the day she found out she was pregnant that she wouldn't force him into anything. That decision was even more solid in her mind knowing how he felt about Piety, I wasn't right of her to not give him whatever space and time he needed. In the end like it had been when her mother had left for Oak Tree Bend she pushed what she really felt into a little box and locked it tight. She didn't have it all figured out but she felt she was on her way to putting herself back together.
With her realization that Lorcan may not be coming back Inna had been doing what she could to support herself. Sure Aytigin had offered to do whatever she needed but she didn't feel right asking him. He wasn't the father and he shouldn't have the burden but as she stood at the edge of the river Inna debated her choice. She was in the mood for fish, freshly caught, not something from the cache. The only way for that to happen was she would have to catch it herself. The ebony Baranski just wasn't sure about stepping into the moving river in her condition, she could just see it going very badly as the river carried her and her children away. She stood with her paw poised over the water as she considered her options.
His voice caused her to jump slightly causing her to put her firmly on the ground to stabilize her before she fell in the river. 'How would he feel if that had happened?’ she thought as she turned to face him. Her brows were raised in curiosity as to why he had come now after he had left her to her own devices. She'd managed of course, it was what she did.
“Inna, can we talk? Please?”
The time if his voice and look on his face she knew what this would be, it would be him making it better. At least that was what she hoped and not him telling her he wasn't going to do this anymore. She shoved that thought down not wanting to entertain it. Still with a sigh she nodded, of course they could talk but she only agreed for their children and her desire for them to know their father. So as he turned to go she followed quietly behind him, this was something she didn't want to do anywhere close to where they might be overheard.RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Lorcan - Apr 25, 2017
Lorcan eyed the curious expressed that pulled at her dark features, tilting his chin down slightly in consideration. The male had no idea how the female had been spending the past few days after he had stormed out on her. Nor did he have any idea about what she thought of him now, but he hoped that she would still have enough heart to give him this last chance to sort things out between them.
Walking away, his russet ears pressed back against the smooth curve of his skull anxiously. The sound of silence unnerved him and as he made his way out of the Hearthwood territory, he could only hope that she would choose follow after him. A few long moments passed before his ears flickered up at the sound of her lighter footfall crunching through the snow behind him. A shaky sigh caused his lean sides to heave as he continued onward, a little more confident in his stride now that he knew she was giving him a chance to explain himself.
Travelling further upstream along the river, Lorcan didn’t talk right away, and instead focused on searching for a suitable place to cross. He wanted put a decent amount of terrain between him and the pack lands before he even thought about discussing anything with Inna. Eventually he came across a shallower part of the river and the agouti male tentatively dipped a single fore-paw into freezing cold water to test its depth. Golden eyes watched at the icy liquid swallowed him up to his knees. Glancing back to the dark female trailing behind him, he offered her a quizzical look.
“Are you up for crossing the river?” He murmured, his voice cracking uncomfortably as he gestured at the water before tentatively moving forwards to place all four paws into the freezing currents. “I can stand here and make sure you get over safely..” He said, a little awkwardly, trying his best to come across as helpful to the female that he’d pushed away days before.
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Inna - Apr 26, 2017
[dohtml]
She'd been prepared to take care of everything by herself but then he had made his promise and even showed up in Hearthwood. She'd let herself get lost in it, the idea that the two of them could have a family. That they could raise their children with their values inside the boundaries of Hearthwood River. She was hurt by him for walking away with no explanation and then leaving her to wonder what had happened. Inna was more angry with herself for not being prepared and letting it have the effect on her that it did. She would give him his chance for their children, they deserved to know their father so if going with them meant that he would be there for them she would do it.
As they moved silently through Hearthwood In a trailed behind him, letting him lead her to where he wanted to talk to her. Surely he had a place in mind and he had been the one to come to her. She didn't know what to say to him anyway, how could she when she didn't even know what had caused him to walk away. As she walked at a comfortable pace or what was comfortable now that her sides had swollen as big as they had she watched him. She couldn't gather much from watching his back but she did take notice of the flattened position of his ears before they flickered the sigh that heaved his side's and the way his gait became more confident.
Her own ears perked at the sound of the river as they drew closer to the water. She idly would dered if they would cross it or stop just before it. Her question was answered as they followed along it before he stuck his paw into it's icy depth. She waited on the bank for him to cross so that she could. Inna no longer held any illusion that he would be helping her, or that any help he decided to give her could be counted on every time. Asked if she felt up to cross f the river her gaze went to the water before them before flicking back to him, “I'm fine to cross,” she said cooly with no hint of what she was feeling in her tone. What was a surprise is when he offered to wait for her to cross to make sure she made it safely. Her head titled in thought for a moment In a hadn't been oblivious to the fact that he was trying and this was just another example but she still wasn't ready to accept it just yet. Her gaze went to her paws as she composed herself and she swallowed the lump in her throat before meeting his gaze, “I think I can manage but thank you,” she said calmly with a nod.
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Lorcan - Apr 26, 2017
The icy tone to her voice had been expected, especially after the way they had parted the last time they had spoken, but that didn’t mean that it made it any less hurtful. Dipping his head in understanding, russet ears pressed back against his head awkwardly as he slowly waded into the freezing currents of the river.
He paused though, half way across the flowing water to glance back to the dark female to see her lingering uncomfortably at the edge of the snow covered bank. Sensing her hesitancy to enter to cold watery depths, the agouti male attempted someone nervously to offer his assistance. Once again she turned him down, albeit a little more politely this time. Lorcan bit down on his lower lip and resisted the urge to call her out on her stubbornness.
Acknowledging her statement, Lorcan continued to wade across to the snow covered bank on the opposite side of the river. He took his time though, glancing back towards Inna every few steps to make sure that she was managing to work her way against the heavy force of the frothing rapids. Pulling himself up onto the opposite bank, Lorcan there lingered patiently and waited for Inna to climb up alongside him before he finally shook his out pelt, sending a spray of freezing water in all directions.
“Brrr! That water was freezing!” He exclaimed, a nervous smile tugging at one side of his charcoal lips to expose a single pearl white fang as he glanced across to Inna, before his lean body erupted into a spasm of shivers. Truthfully the cold water didn’t really bother him, he just wanted to break the ice between them.
The awkward smile quickly faded from his face though, as he diverted his golden gaze back to the maze of tall sequoia trees which surrounded them as he tried to figure out which direction to take next – as well as to give himself some time to try and figure what the hell he was going to say to her. Deciding on a southwestern direction, Lorcan set about strolling slowly through the woodland lingering like a shadow at Inna’s side, a frown etched his downcast face, as he tried to summon the right words in his head to say.
“So..” He began, nervously. “How have you been? – I’m sorry for leaving you like that.” Smooth one, Lorcan. Smooth.
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Inna - Apr 26, 2017
[dohtml]
Did she want his help to cross the river, of course she did but she couldn't allow it when she wasn't ready to. He was her friend and she cared deeply for him but if he could hurt her once he could do it again. It may seem cruel to him what she was doing but she had to know for sure it she could trust him to not do the same thing to her again. She needed to know that he wasn't going to get angry for whatever reason and leave the pups. So for now she hoped he could at least give her the time she needed just as she had done for him.
It was a little worrisome to her crossing the river without his help. The current was fast and the water no doubt freezing but she had made this choice and she would go through with just as she knew she could. Placing one paw in front of the other she waded into the water which came up to her elbows. She took her time placing her paws carefully as she waded further into the water, the last thing she needed was to lose her footing and be swallowed up in the current. It took a little time but she finally joined Lorcan on the other bank.
As he spoke of the coldness of the water she shook her pelt out before giving a nod of acknowledgement. “It is rather cold but we got across,” she said letting the corner of her lip lift just enough for him to notice. She really didn't want him to think that she was completely against this...Whatever it was he had in mind. If it helped them to make things better than she wanted for them to do what they had to so they could be friends again. She just didn't want to rush into anything, she had rushed them into something they both weren't ready for and now they were in a bad place with each other. It couldn't stay like that if they were going to be good parents.
She watched him with a mild curiosity across her features as he seemed uncertain of the direction. When he finally did decide she was no longer trailing behind him. Instead they were walking together which she took as another of his attempts at trying. He still hadn't spoken but perhaps it was because he hadn't found the right place? She didn't know so she waited to hear what he had to say. The ebony Baranski wasn't sure how far they had gone from the river when he finally spoke.
At first it seemed like he didn't know what to say, at least she wasn't alone in that. Then he asked her how she'd been and she could not help the furrowing of her brow which eased a little as he said the last part. It was rushed and she almost didn't catch it he spoke so fast but she did hear the apology. She wondered if it was the same one he had started that day with Savion. It didn't matter really, what did was this moment and this apology. “I've been getting by,” she said quietly. All the details could wait until later or not at all. “Why did you leave like that? Have you changed your mind? It's okay if you have.” She asked her tone holding a concerned quality to it.
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Lorcan - May 02, 2017
His attempt at humour seemed to the effect that he had desired. Inna replied to his comment, the icy tone of her voice melting a little as the corner of ebony lips curled upwards into the faintest resemblance of a smile. It might not have been much, but it was enough for the agouti male to confirm that she wasn’t hell-bent on brushing him off completely. He could find hope in that.
The hope that the pair of them could come to some kind of agreement or understanding encouraged him to continue with his search for a quiet and secluded place for them to talk. He didn’t feel comfortable conversing about the delicate topic of their relationship so close to the pack borders, just in case a wandering pack member should happen to overhear, so he pushed onwards into the darkness of the vast woodland which surrounded them in an attempt to gain some privacy.
Once he grew content with the distance placed between them and the territory of Hearthwood, Lorcan finally managed to summon up some words to initiate casual conversation and also attempted to shove on an apology at the end just for good measure. Was he sorry for leaving her when he had? No. He had needed some space and Lorcan honestly believed that if he hadn’t walked away in that moment that the only thing him and the raven would be exchanging now would have been icy glares and sour words. What he would regret though, was if his actions that day were to result in him loosing access to his own pups. For them, he was prepared to put his own feelings aside and fix things between him and Inna – and if that meant grovelling down on his belly and spouting out false apologies, he was prepared to do it.
White brows furrowed as Inna questioned him, asking why he had left her in the way that he did. “No.” He said immediately, referring to her assumption that he must have changed his mind about his involvement with their pups. “I’d never change my mind. I wouldn’t have stuck around if I had.” He explained, entirely serious. There had been a few brief moments when he had considered walking out of Hearthwood’s borders and never returning, but he’d always talked himself out of it for the sake of supporting his offspring.
“I was just frustrated, is all..” He said, his voice growing a notch quieter as he continued to stroll beside her through beneath the shaded canopy of sequoia trees. “I really care about these pups,” He admitted, paused to brush his muzzle gently through the soft fur of her bulging side. “and it angers me that you would potentially put their lives in danger just because you think you don’t deserve the resources that Hearthwood is working hard to provide. They deserve it, Inna.” Pearl-white fangs flashed out from behind charcoal lips as he gritted his teeth and pressed his forehead against her pregnant stomach. “This mess that we created, it’s ours not theirs. They don’t deserve to be punished for something that they had no control over.” He shuffled back then and stepped forwards to approach her face so that he could gaze longingly into those bright orange eyes.
“Me and you, we might not be perfect for each other, but, I want us to be perfect parents for our pups.” He said softly, his voice softening into a low murmur before he leaned in to place a warm lick on her chin.
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Inna - May 03, 2017
[dohtml]
She'd seen the way he'd reacted to her turning down his help across the river, she didn't like the fact that she had hurt him. Unfortunately it didn't seem to be avoidable with things so up in the air between them. In their time apart Inna had come to realize that if he had changed his mind and left her and the pups she would have to be strong. The strength she'd once had was slowly coming back to her making it so she had to protect herself for the sake of her children, she couldn't let herself be so down again.
Even so she wasn't ready to push him away completely, it wouldn't be fair to their children to do so just because he had hurt her. As he spoke about the coldness of the water she did agree with him and allowed the slightest of smiles to grace her lips. A way to let him know that she hadn't completely given up on a friendship between them at the very least. The Ebony Baranski hated that their friendship seemed to now be ruined because of the choices that they had made, she missed her friend. All that it seemed was left to do was try and salvage what was left of it and do what they could to rebuild it to what it was but she couldn't see it becoming more than that.
Quite a bit of distance between them and Hearthwood had been achieved so that they wouldn't be observed or overheard. Inna took notice of the darkness that woods around them provided despite it still being daylight but as time passed and the sun grew lower in the sky something happened around them. As Lorcan spoke she noticed that as the setting sun became visible among the trunks of the trees that surrounded them it seemed to set the forest on fire. He'd asked her how she had been which she'd been honest just didn't go into detail. Instead she wanted to get to the point, there wasn't any point in continuing this if he had changed his mind.
Waiting for his response she didn't say another word to give him time to get out what he needed to say. She wanted to know why he had left her like he had, it had bothered her since that day but it seemed he meant to make his intentions clear. She could appreciate that especially the fact he seemed to think that was the most important thing to address. “I'm happy to hear that. I just didn't know and wanted to make sure where you stood. I'm glad you didn't leave.” Inna then offered him a wider smile than she had before. She was glad hadn't walked all this way just to hear him tell her he was abandoning her and their children.
The first part of her question now seemed to be having its turn to be answered as he explained what had happened to cause him to leave her. His frustration with her and how she was taking care of herself and their pups, that he felt she was putting their lives in danger because she didn't think they deserve the resources that Hearthwood had to offer. The part that surprised her most though was that he said he really cared about the pups. “I didn't realize they meant that much to you but I'm happy that they do. I never wanted you to feel we were a burden,” she said, “I had always thought you were trying to help me because it was the right thing to do because we had gotten ourselves in this together.” She had to wonder if he was starting to accept that he was going to be a father and was ready to be the father their pups needed. The way he brushed his muzzle through the fur of her side seemed to show that he did care for the pups.
As for his frustrations with her she could come up with reasons all day why she had acted the way she had but Inna knew he was right. She didn't like to think of herself as selfish but she was starting to realize that if she wanted to ensure the health of her children and make sure they survived broken pack law or not she had to be a little selfish. “I know you're right Lorcan and I have been doing better taking care of myself and I'm not staying in that den any longer. I have been trying.” It just wasn't so easy when she had to do it by herself but maybe there was some hope that she wouldn't have to anymore. She licked his cheek as he pressed his head against her abdomen, “I'm sorry Lorcan,” she whispered. She nodded as he spoke of the mess that they had made. “It is our mess and we will deal with it together?” She wasn't sure he still wanted to help her and she didn't want to assume that he was. “And do everything in our power to keep our pups out of it,” she tried to reassure him.
Her breath caught in her throat at his next words as she was reminded that the family she had hoped they might one day be was only a fantasy. “I want us to be perfect parents too and we will be as long as we work together.” That she was certain of but she did still have her worries since this was her first litter. The lick to her chin was returned with a bump of her nose to his cheek .
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Lorcan - May 06, 2017
Lorcan remained silent as Inna responded to his first statement. He had never been aware that the raven did not realise how much he truly cared for their pups and this realisation caused his russet ears to press back against his skull in guilt. Had he not expressed his feelings enough? Maybe not. Things had been such a whirlwind lately that maybe he had failed to find to time to truly talk with her. That surely didn’t help with their relationship, and in light of that, Lorcan decided from that very moment that he would make more of an effort to talk with her.
“No matter what happens, I will always put you and the pups first.” He clarified. If that didn’t make her see how serious he was, then he didn’t know what else would. Golden eyes noticed the smile that pulled across her inky lips then and he felt a warmth ignite in his chest as his own charcoal lips pulled subtly at either side.
As Lorcan then listened to Inna explain that she had been making more of an effort to look after herself, Lorcan nodded before he breathed a small sigh of relief. Finally it seemed that she was starting to listen to his advice, though he wondered if perhaps it had been another member of Hearthwood that had managed to convince her. In truth, it didn’t really matter, the agouti male was just delighted that had made progress in the end. Stepping closer, Lorcan moved in to face her head on and pressed his chest up against hers to embrace her. Golden eyes gazed into her fiery eyes of orange, his expressed much softer and more adoring than it had appeared before.
“That is all I’ve ever wanted, for you to try.” He admitted, before placing a lick upon her crown. “I know all of this can’t be easy for you and…” He paused, nuzzling the soft fur of her cheek for a second. “I’m sorry if I have been too hard on you.” He murmured quietly, his voice low and sincere.
Her listened as the dark female then offered up an apology of her own and he couldn’t help but whimper just a little bit. “Yes, I’d like that.” He said quietly, in reply to her question about them dealing with everything together. The agouti male then nodded when Inna said that she wanted them both to be perfect parents to their offspring. Whilst he might not have planned for fatherhood so soon in his life, it had always been a dream of his to have his own litter and raise them alongside their mother. “—and communicate better.” He added, with a playful grin.
The bump of wet nose offered to his cheek was reciprocated with a number of affectionate licks to her face and muzzle and a submissive whine whistled up from his throat as he tried to express his gratitude. Then, taking a few bouncy steps away, Lorcan stopped amongst the trees and rolled over playfully in the snow before gesturing with a flick of his tail for Inna to came and join him. Belly up amongst the tall sequoia trees, it was only as he tipped his head around to finally observe the landscape around him that he noticed how late it had gotten. The sun had already begun to set, casting a fiery orange glow through the dark silhouettes of the trees. Fog was also starting to roll in, which only seemed to accentuate the sunset glow. The sound of an owl hooting in the distance caused his heart to slow as the world around them grew dark and peaceful.
Turning his head to glance across to Inna, he placed another lick to her cheek and smiled as he glanced down to her growing abdomen. “Do you ever wonder what they’ll be like?” He asked, with a curious sway of his tail before he slowly rolled over onto his side so that he could gently groom the soft fur along her stomach.
RE: say something, i'm giving up on you - Inna - May 06, 2017
[dohtml]
It had come as a surprise to her to find out that he really cared about the pups. It was what she'd been hoping for, if he cared for them then he could be a good father to them. The day she'd told him it had been a lot to take in, she knew that. From his words she'd gotten the impression that he needed more time. It was because of that she'd never pushed him about it, she'd hoped she would have known when things had changed for him. It seemed that she had not seen when it had changed for him now it seemed he was ready to be a father, maybe even looking forward to it.
Inna of course hadn't gotten her hopes up that he had forgotten all about Piety and wanted to make a life with her and their children. Knowing that he wanted to put her and the pups first...well that was enough. “I don't want us to be a burden to you Lorcan but I am very happy to hear you say that.” She looked at her paws for a moment before meeting his golden gaze. “I never really liked the idea of you staying in Whitestone anyway. If you were there and I was here to wouldn't be able to get to see them grow. Now that you're here in Hearthwood you can see me everyday and see how they are growing and you don't have to miss a single day of their lives like you would have had you stayed in Whitestone,” she admitted to him. All she'd ever cared about was his relationship with his children.
Another one of his concerns had always been her taking care of herself and fje pups growing inside her. Since they had talked before she had been trying harder to take better care of herself. Her talk with Lachesis had also helped her to know how much exactly she should be eating. For the first time since she found out she felt like she was really doing her best taking care of herself. “I really am,” she assured when he told her all he wanted was for her to try. She shook her head, “It's not easy and the further along it get harder but I think I'm finally figuring it out, I just hope it's not too late.” She had done so many things that could have hurt her children in the beginning. She met his golden gaze once more brows furrowing, Inna shook her head, “No, Lorcan of anything I needed it. You don't think I don't know how stubborn I can be? I do and I realize now that how I was behaving before wasn't right.” She had spent a lot of time thinking about it and finally decided she had to let things run their course.
What they had created the day their puppies had been conceived was a mess and one that Inna had previously thought she had to handle on her own. She knew Lorcan wanted to help her but she had always wanted to keep the trouble from him. So when he spoke of it she didn't jump to conclusions but instead asked if he was still willing to take it on with her. “I will appreciate having you by my side through it,” she told hi with a smile. Whether they were friends or more they were a team and would face whatever came at them together. That also included raising their children which she believed as long as they worked together they would succeed in being the best parents they could be. Inna nodded as he added something else, “It's going to be very important now so that we are on the same page in how we want to raise them.”
She still had trouble showing him the kind of affection she once had. If they were merely going to be friends then wasn't appropriate but then as her bump to his cheek was return by licks to her face and muzzle Inna became confused. How did Lorcan truly feel about her? Did he still love Piety or had he moved on? These questions went through her mind as she watched him bounce off before rolling in the snow. She knew the flick of his tail was an invitation to join him and yet she was hesitant for a moment looked around the forest that surrounded them. The fog was coming in and darkness was beginning to fall, the setting sun lit the forest up through the trees like it was aglow with fire. Inna's gaze returned to Lorcan laying there in the snow, she went to him. She couldn't stop herself, he was the father of her children.
She laid down next to him and rested her head on his chest as he asked her a question that she gave some thought to. “A little at night when I'm in my den,” she told as she lifted her head to look at him,”Sometimes I imagine they will be like you, kind hearted and gentle. Of course they will have my stubborn streak to make our lives difficult,” she told with a small laugh, “Have you?” She asked just as he moved to from the fir on her belly.