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+---- Thread: Sanguine Cove The Distance Has Grown (/showthread.php?tid=20264)
The Distance Has Grown - Kajika - Jan 15, 2022
@Chan Round two, lol.
The older man found himself at the border looking out across the forest. After what had happened to Moonshadow he knew that it was probably not good for him to go out alone. Even if he thought he might be capable. Even if he didn't go that far so any explorations would have to wait until spring when the weather wouldn't be so bad.
He sat back on his haunches when something in the distance caught his eye. There he watched whatever it was move about out there. His old eyes didn't allow him to see exactly what it was but he believed it to be a rabbit.
His gaze went up to the sky to see if there was any bad weather on the horizon. Frankly he was tired of being tires, of letting his age get the better of him.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Chan - Jan 17, 2022
Chan had gone for a jog to exercise his legs and lungs, unintending to run into his Godfather at the edge of the Cove's claim. He didn't avoid his scent, however. Now that he'd had some time to digest the man's position and words, he had some questions of his own, and was in a far better headspace to ask them if he had done so reactively.
Spying his dark-furred form, Chan gave out a bark, tail wagging amicably behind him. There was a part of him that was nervous to broach this subject once more, but one disagreement did not erase Kajika's part in his raising nor the bond it had built.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Kajika - Jan 17, 2022
The dark man was just about to step across the border when his godson's bark had reach his ears. Turning to greet Chan as he approached he held a smile on his maw and a friendly sway of his tail. Their last conversation hadn't gone as well as he'd hoped. Which had left Kajika feeling discouraged. He thought maybe some time would give them both a chance to reflect before speaking again on the subject of Chan's departure.
The Tallis man took notice of his godsons friendly demeanor which he hoped meant they might be in a better place. "Good morning Chan," greeted the older man. "I hope the day is treating you well." Despite their disagreement Kajika still cared very much for the young Eastfall man. He wanted to be able to come to an understanding between the two of them if it were possible.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Chan - Jan 26, 2022
"It is," Chan answered with a smile. Habit demanded he ask how the other wolf was in return, but now as he stood close to the other man and looked into his face, those questions rose like a chorus within his head. His lips plateaued into a black line.
"Can we talk?" he asked with a more solemn tone than he'd previously spoken. Part of him was anxious to broach the topic, even as he felt there was no better option. His time with his godfather was limited, he needed to make the most of it and that couldn't be done when he was still trying to finish a half-imagined argument with the other in his head.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Kajika - Jan 26, 2022
The dark man nodded, "That's good Chan. I'm glad to hear it." He was glad that the younger man seemed to be in good spirits. Kajika hadn't been able to get their last encounter out of his mind. The last thing he wanted was for Chan to go off without talking to him but he hadn't been sure how to begin a conversation with his godson. It had been rather clear to him the last time they spoke that he'd said something he shouldn't have. He was pretty certain he knew what it was that had upset Chan.
While he was working out the best way to start a conversation he hoped would go better the young Eastfall spoke first. He wanted to know if they could talk. Why didn't he think of that? "Sure, Chan. Always available for you to talk to." He had hoped that his godson had known that even if he might not have ever said that. Just because they had one argument didn't mean that he'd shut the younger man out forever.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Chan - Jan 26, 2022
Always, his godfather encouraged, and Chan took a single breath before the question that had been eating at him for days now was let out without preamble.
"Where have you been? Why weren't you with my mother, or Nash? And why was it okay for you?"
For you to find life elsewhere, but not me.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Kajika - Jan 26, 2022
Kajika expected...well he wasn't really sure what he was expecting when Chan asked to talk. What came out of his godson's mouth certainly wasn't it. Kajika sat back on his haunches and regarded the young man in front of him. They might be awhile, he wanted to give Chan the sort of answer he deserved.
"Once the coyotes came we all went our separate ways Chan. Nash and your mom went with Tagg. Birtie and I we went another way. It wasn't exactly completely thought out. After I disbanded the pack we were all just trying to get out before one of us were killed. I never wanted to leave any of you behind, I cared too much for all of you. Then Birtie and I found a safe place where we stayed."
Then there was the question of why it was okay. "Its what happened, I never said it was okay for me to do."
It wasn't okay for him to go and leave Moon and her boys. The entire time he'd been gone he'd known it wasn't okay. "Thats why I came back."
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Chan - Jan 26, 2022
The pack split up, just like that? From what his brother had told him, it sounded as though it were Kajika and Birtie who chose to leave, while his family had tried to stay and paid the price in the form of Tagg's death. That wasn't the older man's fault, but it certainly stirred anger within Chan when the same wolf had insisted he put his mother first in a way Kajika himself apparently had not.
It wasn't alright, his Godfather told him, and insisted that's why I came back.
"Years later," Chan answered without warmth. He knew what he wanted to hear from the other man, but was not sure it was what would be said. His mismatched gaze refused to leave Kajika's chocolate-carved features.
"Obviously, you and Birtie had a life out there."
And where was his aunt now? Why had she left so quickly? Had she thought it truly just a visit, had she come merely to see him safely to them? There were parts of his life that Kajika had formed then abandoned, and it really didn't matter to Chan if it was the Eastfalls or his very own progeny. The point was he had the opportunity to understand Chan and the man felt the other was choosing not to. And why? Because he was that determined all of a sudden to protect Moonshadow? Because he really did just want more time with Chan himself? Or was this not clear because he did not have all of the information?
"I'm not trying to make you feel wrong I just need to know how I'm being selfish and fucking up when I've done nothing but follow in your pawprints."
He'd been here for his family almost a year now, he'd led the pack when it was asked of him, shouldered everyone's burdens and they just wanted him to keep it up? To never think of himself? Exasperation had entered his voice, gaze turning saddened. He was trying his best.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Kajika - Jan 27, 2022
The older man wanted to make things better between he and Chan before the younger man left. The last thing he wanted was for them to part on bad terms. The questions that had been asked of him were heavy questions but Kajika had done his best to answer them. Still when Chan spoke again there seemed to be something bothering him.
"Unfortunately yes, years later. Believe me Chan I wished I'd come back sooner."
More than anything he'd wished he'd been able to return to the lore sooner. As Chan so keenly pointed out next he had a life elsewhere with Birtie, he couldn't just up and leave until a few months ago. The dark man didn't speak right away when the next question was asked but when he did his tone remained calm.
"We did," he affirmed, "Was that so wrong? Was I supposed to sit and wait outside the lore for it to be safe to return? Leave my children behind or bring them back to a place I couldn't be sure was safe?" What is it that you really want to know?"
He didn't really understand why Chan would bring up his life with Birtie. Why it mattered in their disagreement at all. Kajika felt he'd done what was right at the time. He wanted to understand where all of this was going. A dark brow rose and his head canted to one side when Chan spoke again.
"Followed in my pawprints?" He questioned not sure where Chan was going with that. "What gives you the idea that I think your selfish and messing up?" This had to be the whole reason behind this line of questions. Chan must believe that Kajika thought these things about him.
RE: The Distance Has Grown - Chan - Jan 30, 2022
Chan supposed that the other man got close to his own point, but he couldn't be sure. For from one sentence to the next, Kajika went from regretting their time apart to confidently defending it. From his perspective, it was his godfather calling such wrong. The final series of questions further frustrated him, and while he knew most of the reasons, he wasn't able to name them all. His jaw had set, but he unclenched it to speak; nothing would get figured out if he didn't keep talking, as much as he wanted to shut down, hating this sense of conflict with someone he'd once been so close to.
"That's how you made me feel," he asserted, certain that this mattered just as much as if he'd said the words verbatim. 'That's no way to live' had been strong enough to Chan's ears, and it hadn't been the only point of contention in that conversation of the past. The insistence on the matter of his mother had also rubbed the Eastfall the wrong way, communicating to him that Kajika had garnered the impression he was thoughtless.
"As I said, I'm not the one claiming anyone's choices were wrong. Your the one passing judgment, and I thought I'd earned more respect than that."