Serach had been woefully naive to think that Aponi would respond well to his challenge. She was too headstrong and fiery to accept a challenge, even coming from him; perhaps especially coming from him. If looks could kill, he would have been dead, and frankly he was grateful for whatever kind of restraint was keeping Aponi firmly rooted in place. He'd seen her fight Spieden for leadership - the scars on her muzzle were a constant reminder of the battles she had fought and won. Ironic that she had fought that particular battle so she could stand by his side and now he was wondering if she'd ever look at him kindly again. His heart sank and his stomach dropped when she started to speak, her cold tone worse than if she had yelled at him.

But it all came pouring out - Serach's failures laid before him with absolutely no remorse. He closed his eyes, unable to look at her as the lashing came, growing harsher with every word. Each truth smacked him like a physical attack, his facial expression cringing in recoil. Pathetic. Aponi's voice was nothing but malice. Even his own name sounded like a scourge upon the earth. And what hurt was worse was that she was right. He might have been a hero in the minds of his children - god, what if they had heard them yelling? - but they didn't know better. He had truly failed. Perhaps the worst was the painful admission that even his own father had preferred to live elsewhere. If not even the Bend's founder wanted to be here, then why would anybody else?

Slowly, Serach opened his eyes, but he barely saw her. Instead he was looking passed her to the barren oak tree behind her, the symbol of everything in life that he loved and cared about. That was another one of his sins and another resentment she apparently held against him. That was the worst of all, because while he clearly loved the physical land around them, he loved the wolves he associated with it even more. And that meant Aponi, and Mabel, Corsair, and Ayla. And Lila and Nalda. And it meant the new lives they could bring into this world, even if it meant uprooting everything to raise them someplace better.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Serach's yellow eyes refocused and Aponi's silver and black form came back into the forefront of his vision. He'd rather give up the Bend than fail her anymore, and so he made the choice to concede. "Where do you want to go?" His voice was quiet, barely louder than a whisper. There was no Bend without her, and if this what was she wanted - what they needed to heal things - then he would follow wherever she led him. "Where will you be happy?"

Aponi did not have many regrets in her life. As a wolf she lived by the philosophy that things were what they were. But, seeing Serach’s eyes close and the way his expression twisted with hurt sent cold spears of guilt through her own heart. Worse yet was the way his yellow eyes looked past her when they opened, as if her mate didn’t see her at all and in that moment she knew she had made a mistake.

Serach gave into her demands with more grace than she could ever imagine and despite winning this argument Aponi felt like she had lost. Her stomach felt lower than the ground when she looked into the eyes of the wolf who had done nothing but love her unconditionally. For a long time there was silence and the woman had to blink away moisture from her eyes more than once. She wasn’t sure what to say to fix what she had so callously broken but she knew she had to.

A sudden whine rose from her throat and Aponi rushes forward, ears dipped backwards and tail low. Squeezing her eyes closed she dipped her nose done, pressing her forehead into his chest her whining grew more frantic. ”I don’t want to make you leave. But, I think if things aren’t better by the fall we should go back to the mountain.” This time when her tail waves it wasn’t a ploy, it was a desperate attempt to make peace. ”Please Serach, let’s not talk anymore. Let’s just, let’s not talk.” It was clear by the smell in the air what she wanted to do instead.

For a long time, nothing more was said. Watching her with desperation in his eyes, Serach could not be sure what his mate was thinking. After everything else that had been said, it seemed equally likely that his question would only enrage her further and underscore that he was truly pathetic as it would prove that he was loyal to her and their family above all else. The sight of tears beginning to collect in her eyes only increased his feeling of desperation, but he remained rooted to the spot he was standing. He didn't know how to offer her comfort or even if she would want it from him now.

When Aponi rushed forward, Serach's whole body tensed. Instinctively he turned his head away, bracing for an attack even though he heard only whines, no growls or snarls. But it was not her teeth that he felt on his chest, but the wetness of her nose and the warmth from her breath. She leaned in to him, and he embraced her back, nuzzling the back of her neck. Waves of relief were washing over him, but there was something else too - a numbness in his chest. He had meant it when he had decided he would follow her anywhere, but even as she told him that they didn't need to uproot their family now, she did not take it off the table completely. And it would take time for him to come to terms with that decision.

True to her instruction, the pale man said nothing. He was emotionally exhausted and hurting, but his body could not fend off its natural responses to her heat. Lifting his head from her neck, he lowered his head and pushed against her head to gently move her backwards. Firmly, he used his body to guide her away from the base of the oak tree. He'd give her what she wanted, but not there.