Grizzly Hollow Now I got you in my space I won’t let go [M]

Her snort said it all. No, he wouldn't have to do anything like that. And yet, when she finally spoke he couldn't help but feel as though that wasn't the case. She meant it, he could feel that, knew she wouldn't lie to him and yet- leaving would hurt someone. Specifically, the wolves of Aurora Heights. Elias swallowed thickly as dread crept in, darkening the corners of his vision till he realised he'd closed his eyes.

She was asking for so much- he feared that she was doing what other's so often did. Take take take without giving anything back, but there was more to it than just that. Nineva was offering him a second chance, more importantly, an escape. He would be a liar if he said her offer wasn't tempting- that she wasn't tempting- but there was so much at stake. It made him wonder once more if joining the Heights had been a mistake all along, not because he hated it there but because it had been the wrong thing to do. He was supposed to look for Thuban, not to get all tangled up in the affairs of packs. But look at what he had done, that and even worse. Would going it alone make things better, or worse?

Elias trusted her with all he had and could see that Nineva was telling the truth...but but but. There was always a but, something holding him back. He would never be free of his fears, inhibitions and responsibilities but that was all he ever wanted, to throw it all to the wind and just do as he pleased. Why wasn't he allowed to be happy? Why?

"I- Thank you Nin." He said, his voice surprisingly firm, unwavering. "It's a lot to think about, do I have to have an answer now?" He hoped not, even the most decisive of men would want at least a couple of days to consider such a thing. Not that he was in any rush to run back to the Heights quite yet but... Nineva did seem like the sort of woman who wanted things done with haste.

but it was a trick

and the clock struck twelve

Nineva tried not to think ahead and predict his answer in that space between the question leaving her mouth and his own jaws parting to reply. Of all the reactions he could have, the reasons he could give. Yet when he did speak, she found herself sighing as though with relief, eyes closing and a smile more genuine than she had felt in a long time curving her black lips. It was better than a yes.

"I'd rather you did," she assured him, a bit of the youthful Nineva beginning to shine through as she even began to loftily wag her tail.

"I know how much it is to ask. How difficult it would be to do. I've... a lot of words about it but I won't flood you with them, just... know that I understand."

Knew that she was asking him to go back on a vow, to take an able body away from the pack, possibly in a time of need. Yet if they had such great urgency for him, he wouldn't be able to be here with her now. Nineva felt it in her bones that he did not belong on that mountain, and if he shouldn't be there then why not down in the forest with her? Elias had to feel that too, though. She had told him once, that he needed to act on his understanding of right and wrong.That included if that understanding led him away from her altogether.

If he did return to her permanently? She wouldn't have this moment as a reason to doubt his ability to be loyal because he defected in a heartbeat.

Nineva gave her massive body a shake, as if flinging off the tension her muscles had been holding. It was only after doing so that she realized how much she must've been fanning her heat-thickened scent around with both that motion and the consistent waving of her tail. Poor guy. Her silver eye regarded him again, his strength and his height and his earnest eyes. Blue, like the one which rendered her half-blind. That was one drawback.

"... I've another offer for you. One a lot less... demanding. A request, really."

It probably wasn't even a smart decision, much less appropriate timing, but as her mind had been drawn back to her affliction her instincts were given an avenue to creep in once more to the helm. She knew what she wanted, and her body burned as it urged her on. There were weeks left, and yet hormones wanted to convince her that it was now or never. Nineva knew better, but why not? What if he did choose the mountain pack, or left the Lore altogether? What would she have to regret then? The woman already planned on raising the products of this Spring alone.

She moved forward, getting close to him as though that would give her leverage.

Holy heck, she had such a pretty smile. He almost said so, blurted it out, but before the words formed on his tongue he swallowed them down with a loud gulp. This was serious, there was no use in pretending otherwise this day would-in one way or another- mark the beginning of a new chapter of his life. So he damn well had to act like it, to think things over long and hard, just as Nineva wanted him to.

"If anyone could it'd be you, Nin, seem to have a knack for that." He said with a gentle smile. It wasn't an empty compliment, not that Elias ever handed those out. He didn't even know how. "But really, you don't have to do this and I- it really means a lot to me that you'd even consider letting me tag along, being what I am." A nuisance at best and scum at worst.

As cowardly as it seemed, he didn't want to think about his choice right then. He would think on it, he wasn't going to shove it aside and pretend as though this meeting had never happened. He just needed time and space and a lungful of fresh air probably-goodness she was rather close, wasn't she? Not that he was complaining at all, not in the least but did she have to waft her scent about like that? He idly wondered if she was doing it on purpose. Surely, not Nineva wasn't like that at all and it wasn't her fault the season had fallen upon her as well. It was just nature, the way things were and uh... What was that?

He blinked owlishly, only catching the last fragment of her sentence. A request, oh, that was fine. As always he was happy to play along, perhaps a little too eager but he was already nodding along, signifying his assent.

"Sure, how can I help?" He asked, his head tipping just a little as she inched that much closer. Now that he was a little more versed in uh-his face flushed at the thought- carnal matters he had an inkling as to what she was asking. But... surely not. Was that wishful thinking on his behalf? Bad, Elias, bad! "Whatever you need." He found himself saying, his tail swishing behind him, a sign that he was all to willing to cater to her needs.

but it was a trick

and the clock struck twelve

Nineva quirked her head to one side as he went on as though he had been the one to ask her if he could follow after her. She could be a charitable wolf, sure, but Elias would pay her back, she knew that. With his presence and his support, things would even out. Just allowing him to keep her company certainly wasn't some great service. She had to wonder if it was just in his nature to be so self-deprecating, or if he really had trespasses in his history.

That was a mystery for another day, however.

No, she had started asking, and now she needed to finish. Nineva recalled always believing that she would grow up falling in love, that she would have the fairytale romance and commitment that, as a child, she had thought her parents possessed. That by now, she would be with a pack and her family in the Caverns, discussing the possibility of a first litter with her mate and co-leader. How far she was from that youthful delusion, but really, this didn't feel wrong. Families came in all shapes and sizes; the Hollow had certainly taught her that, even if they'd all be flawed.

"I want children, Elias. And you're... well built, and healthy, and strong. Not just physically. If temperaments are inherited, I think ours would balance well. You won't be responsible for them, if you stay with your pack I won't chase you down and expect you to help, and I won't make trouble with your leaders. I can raise them on my own, I just... clearly can't make them on my own and... I think I'd rather you than a stranger."

She had considered making certain that whoever fathered her litter would not be involved, that the possibility simply would not be a part of their lives. Sentiments were getting the better of her however, as her hormones rampaged. Even if Elias chose to never meet them, she would rather be able to tell them that their father was a good, kind man.

Oh....Oh goodness.

It certainly was the season for it, but Elias found himself befuddled nonetheless. Somewhere, deep down he knew he wasn't hideous, that despite his mutilations he was still somewhat pleasing to the eye. He realised now that his looks were probably the only reason Ravenna had taken such an interest in him, that he was nothing more than a pretty face, a means to an end. Elias couldn't help but fear that history was repeating itself, that he would sire an endless stream of pups just because he couldn't say no. He did not want to be that man, he was supposed to strive for more, be more, but look where he was, who he was.Greatness evaded him every time he reached out for it, slipping through his grasp like smoke. Perhaps it was time he woke up and faced the facts, he could follow his uncle's teachings till the day he died, he would never live up to his expectations. It was all for nought.

And yet, Nineva was offering him something. A chance. He was a means to an end in this case too but... It was different, Nineva was being frank with him, no coercion or lies just the truth. He could stomach that, he decided, it didn't sound so bad.

"I'm...flattered." He mumbled, his cheeks warm and red beneath his fur. "And you're...uh, very appealing also. Pretty!" Where was he even going with this? Elias had no clue but there was no stopping it out."If this is what you want- I'd like to be involved no matter how things end up. I never met my Father, you see. And I know you will be a wonderful mother, so much better than my own but-" He frowned. He didn't even know what he was saying really. "Just promise me this, Nin. Don't hate me." For he imagined a lot of wolves would for what he was about to say. "The other day...I ran into- well she used to be a friend. After the mess that happened between our packs she- we...You know..."He gestured with a flick of his tail, not wanting to say it aloud. He dipped his head down, unable to even look her in the eye. " I didn't know that's what she wanted- all she wanted from me. And I-I just wanted you to know, is all."

He supposed he was looking for reassurance, that what they had could be-would be- different.

but it was a trick

and the clock struck twelve

Her ears pressed forward as he appeared some kind of taken aback, and began to stumble over his words. She was patient, waiting for a no or even a request for time to think on it as he had her previous offer. Nineva was well aware that what she was asking of him went a lot deeper than the ten minutes of his time it would take them. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to wait on this one.

Never met his father, hm? It could be complicated, to leave the door open for Elias without knowing how often and for how long he would step in. If he'd ever close it behind him and stay. It could hurt the children, make them feel unloved or unworthy, discarded as Tomen had. Yet she knew that regardless of what vows Elias made to her, the future could not be predicted. Was it better to try? She wished she could say.

Still, it sounded like he was saying yes, but then he wanted her to make a promise not to hate him, and she would have told him that she could not promise such a thing but he forged ahead before she could and thankfully, his confession wasn't so awful as it could have been. That wasn't to mean it wasn't uncomfortable to hear, and Nineva felt conflicting emotions as his voice tapered off. Sounds like what had been done was no different than what she just now offered him, but should she feel apprehensive about being a second woman? Would this affect her or her children down the line? Her map didn't declare this fork in the road, and she couldn't clearly see the morality of either side.

"... is that what's 'too much'?"

Elias nodded, sheepish. She'd hit the nail right on the head, to an extent at least. It wasn't all that bothered him, he had a lot on his plate, but as things stood it was in the forefront of his mind. A reminder that he would never be a proper Selwyn, never as righteous or as restrained. Just a boy who was stuck in their shadows, even in death.

"I didn't set out with the intention to do...her that day but... I suppose there isn't any use in moping, is there?" He asked, his lips tilting up just a little. He said that be he'd mope anywhere, just out of sight is all. "At least with you I know where we stand." He pressed his forehead against her shoulder once more. Perhaps they both needed this little bit of comfort, solace.

"I think...it'd be best if I stopped talking at this point." Elias said, lifting his head to cast a bright, if not somewhat playful glance her way. All hope wasn't lost, he wasn't miserable, he had options, choices, things to consider over the next few days. And he would, he'd think about it long and hard. Still, the mood was heavier than he would have liked, for a moment he struggled to think of something to say, anything would make do.

"Hey, on the bright side I won't be a total disappointment, right? I got some practice." Heck, he did not like thinking of Ravenna as practice but... His tail swished high behind him as he made a pointed effort to stand tall, attractive.

but it was a trick

and the clock struck twelve

Maybe she shouldn't be asking this, she thought as he nodded 'yes.' Maybe a stranger would be better, come with less risk, be less... messy. But when he kept talking, his word choice made it clear that he still was ready and willing to do this for her. With her, regardless of what had happened with this other pack wolf. To judge was a cornerstone facet of Nineva's personality, but had he really done anything wrong? Impulsive and foolish, maybe, as it sounded as though the two hadn't discussed much, but while the young Hervok couldn't know this woman's place in her own pack, it was clear she had done much the same as Nineva was attempting to now. She made a choice for herself regardless of the repercussions the future might face her with.

Stop thinking, Nineva. For once.

He made a joke, the smile she returned was uneven, accompanied by knitted brows, yet still genuine and appreciative. There was being cautious, and considering all options, and then there was being afraid, and allowing the unavoidable uncertainty of life mire you. If she wanted so much from her future, she couldn't fall into a trap like that. Elias lifted his head and puffed out his chest and her smile grew deeper.

She almost laughed, even.

"You're not going to disappoint me," she whispered the promise as she moved forward, and into his embrace.

/Fade