Aquene knew that she merely had poor coping mechanisms. Deep down she had known that to be true for most of not all of her life… still, it persisted, just as she persisted. At the very least, her own explanation seemed to soothe the woman at least a little bit. They would never truly lose Aleister. He would live on in their hearts, and that was important for even her to remember. Though it might not always seem like it, it did weigh on her heavily and bring her some sense of calming peace. “He did… the good and the bad, everyone enters our lives for a reason, even if some do not believe that.” Aquene herself had believed that. Aleister entering her life had given her a second chance at living, shared with her the joys of motherhood, and led to her meeting her mate.

He had played such a big role in both of their lives. He had given Oksana children, a home, a family to lean on… had brought the two of them together, discovering their familial bond even if it was not in blood. He had truly been a rock, a foundation for the pack… and she would always be grateful for it.

The question of how she could be so certain brought a frown to Aquene’s features. She had never confronted her having of a god complex before, the one that many healers tended to have, especially in her home pack… the way it resulted in her taking it very personally when she lost a patient. “I know because I’ve seen it before; I had all the tools I needed to fight it, to help him beat it.” But it wasn’t enough; she wasn’t enough… they weren’t enough.

“I should have caught on sooner, insisted he seek treatment with me sooner. I should have fought harder, tried more experimental things.” She said it despite knowing she had run herself ragged trying to treat him and that she wasn’t sure she could have fought more for it… “He had the strength. He was fighting for you, for your children, for this pack… he had the strength; I failed him.”