Drooping Willows Through thick and thin...

When no answer came immediately she already knew the answer. This was exactly what he had been dreading. The fact that he wouldn’t be staying with her, but when she looked up to him and he didn’t look at her when he gave his answer, her already broken heart felt dead. There was another pack beginning to form, one that could be a threat to Copper Rock Creek. The thought made her mentally wince and the rest of his words were almost a blur. But she caught them, all of them. They were all just enough to make her feel numb all over again. His words thoroughly shocked her though. Leave her pack mates. She couldn’t leave them. . .she had sworn to Kashikoi that she would never leave his side and that she would protect him no matter what. She just couldn’t bring herself to do the one thing that she had promised and that was to watch over him and teach him.

His next words warmed her heart though. . .he understood and they could still possibly be together, even if their alphas did not allow it. But she couldn’t bring herself to answer yet. He mind was still trying to process all that he had said. Another pack. . .another female. He would stay faithful to her. . .just as she would to him. Why did it have to be like this though? Everything could have been much easier if they could have been in the same pack. . . She knew she would have to answer him eventually. It was exactly what she had to do, and she would be completely truthful.

"I understand and I believe you. Koda, I trust in you. But just as you have an oath, I have mine as well. It‘s not just towards my leaders and pack mates but towards little Kashikoi as well. . . I promised him I would never leave him after Kanosak left and I‘m not going to break that promise. Unless he feels he wants to come with me. . .I can‘t leave Koda. Kashi is like a son to me. If anything happened to him I wouldn‘t be able to live with the fact that I went back on the promise that I made to him. . . I-I‘m sorry. . ."

She didn’t want him to be mad at her and start yelling at her. But she felt like she knew. . .knew that he wouldn’t. They could still be together somehow, right? And they were together right now, that had to count for something. She soon was flipped over on her side, which made her wince. It hurt her sides and she was heaving for breath, which soon returned to normal. She started to lick his cheek though, affection clear in her one emerald eye. She even opened her mouth one last time and said, "I will love you no matter what though."

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Through thick and thin... - Koda - Jun 15, 2012

Her long silence filled him with dread. She would hate him now for joining another pack, for leaving her. His heart shriveled inside his broad chest. No matter how strong he was, he could not bear it if Nina hated him and never wanted to see him again. Even the thought made him cringe. When her words finally came, both pride and sorrow welled up in him. Her loyalty was what he loved about her, so he knew better than to expect any less of her than he did of himself. Her promise to Kashi was a new piece of information, but he wouldn't want to be the cause for any pain that came to the boy either. He greatly respected the young man.

Her tender words of undying love were a balm to his wounded heart though. They would somehow make this work. They would remain true to one another and they would have to be content with stolen moments such as these. Feeling guilty and selfish for the thought, he was glad that their trip back to her home would be slower than usual. He wished the pain were his rather than hers, but it provided them the opportunity to cement their relationship and strengthen what was already an unbreakable bond.

He changed his own position to get as close to his love as possible without hurting her farther, and nuzzled her gently as they shared the warmth between their pelts. "I will be honest, it saddens me that we cannot be together, but our love is strong and will get us through anything!" The sincerity in his voice was unmistakable and as the darkness fully claimed the night sky he burrowed his nose into her scruff and inhaled deeply of her intoxicating scent and whispered, "Sleep, my love. It's been a long day, and we've a long way to go." He knew that she was physically and emotionally wrung out and needed healing sleep badly right now.

Through thick and thin... - Nina - Jun 16, 2012

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His words drew yet another dagger through her numb heart. . .but she knew how to hide it now. From the time when she wore her feelings on her paw she now had them deep within her. There was nothing to stop that. When Koda mentioned sleep she couldn’t help but nod her head. She was extremely tired to a point where she couldn’t comprehend certain things, one of them being her own feelings and her surroundings. Being numb wasn’t a pleasant feeling but it also wasn’t a bad one. You couldn’t feel anything -technically speaking- and it was like swimming in a pool of blackness. And that was exactly what she was going to do. . .sleep, in a pool of blackness.

Opening her mouth briefly she muttered to Koda, "We can still see each other though. . .no one will be able to separate us. . .ever."

Her words were almost incoherent but she made them loud enough for him to hear. Moving closer to Koda she buried her muzzle into his neck, closed her eyes, and breathed. Soon enough the sleep that had been plaguing her enveloped her. She swam in not blackness, but more of a nightmare. It was Ash. . .her brother, standing over her. . .wait. . .was that her? It seemed as though the golden brown female were watching her own dead. . .from the sidelines. The female laying underneath Ash was definitely her. . .there was no mistaking it. The female’s eyes were lifeless staring into nothing and Ash’s eyes. . .oh those light green eyes. Glowing with the pleasure of killing, the thought killed her again. Enough to the point where she woke up.

Nina’s eyes soon snapped open. The sun had set and the moon was now out. . .a full moon at that. Glancing over at Koda she couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not. Instead of waking him up she simply lay there in a pool of sadness. The nightmares that had been terrorizing her since the attack had not stopped, leaving her exhausted with barely any sleep. Her muzzle was still in the handsome male’s neck and she gently removed herself and with a wince turned her head and started to clean her injures and blood matted coat.

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Through thick and thin... - Koda - Jun 16, 2012

Her words gave him heart, for they spoke of her dedication to him despite everything. Nothing could tear them apart. Nothing and no one. A dark fury engulfed him again at the thought of the one who had almost succeeded in doing just that. Had he been just a moment or two slower, her vile brother might have succeeded in snuffing out the life of his own sister. Not wanting his emotions to spill over to his exhausted love, he firmly pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind for a time when she was safe and sound back in her home. As she burrowed into his neck, he sighed with contentment and whispered back, "We will see each other, I promise you. Somehow. And you couldn't be more right, nothing will ever keep us apart sweet Nina." All of his love and devotion carried over in his voice.

It wasn't long before sheer exhaustion claimed his lady love and her body relaxed into much needed sleep. The same could not be said for him for sleep evaded him in favor of warring emotions. He was so close to breaking his sworn oath to Elettra Archer. Nina nearly losing her life had drastically tipped the balance in her favor, but in the end he had to be true to his nature and keep his promise. What would Nina think of him if he broke his word. Honor was just as important to both of them and so they were still at an impossible impasse.

At some point, he must have finally drifted into a light slumber, for a tenseness in Nina edged him awake. He stayed still, not wanting to disturb her slumber, but her dreams had apparently turned dark and she woke abruptly. Hoping that she would drift back to sleep, Koda kept still until he realized that sleep was not in the cards for her. She had begun to clean her many painful woulds as quietly as she could.

The large male lifted his own head and sat up. He wanted to ask what had woken her, but he figured that she would tell him in time if she wanted to share it with him. In the mean time he would just be here for her in all ways, while he could. He rose and nuzzled her cheek affectionately. "Let me help." His words were simple, gentle and he encouraged her to rest while he tended her. At least that way, she was in less pain than trying to do it herself. He bathed her wounds carefully and thoroughly in a silence that spoke volumes.

This woman was his mate in all the ways that mattered and he wanted to take care of her. He wondered for a moment what she would think of him considering her his mate. They may never have a litter, for that didn't seem to be in the cards for them, but their love and devotion was no less than if they did have young. They did not live together, but their hearts called to one another always. They had love, devotion and the desire to always be together. What was that if not a mated pair?

Through thick and thin... - Nina - Jun 16, 2012

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It seemed as though she had failed in keeping Koda asleep in her rude awakening. With a sigh she soon relaxed to the rhythm of the light male’s tongue on her wounds. The steady tempo made her eye closed before the one soon reopened. She turned to look at her love. He was here for her. . .and it might sound selfish but she wanted him to stay with her forever. And if the two of them could she knew that she would trade anything to be with him. He was the reason she was alive and with a start she soon began to realize that each encounter had been a source of her getting injured.

She recalled the conversation the two of them had right before she had lost her voice. She had been talking about how she had become a healer and she had been about to state his name when she had lost her voice. The thought made her almost laugh but she contained it, watching her love, pure bliss in the depth of her eye. She looked him very much so and would go to the ends of the world for him. She would travel to Hell and back if she had to. She wouldn’t let anything happen to him. It was an untold oath between the two of them. She wanted to tell him and that she would. . .in time. She could tell him anything. . .she knew that and he would still love her. She just hoped that even though they were attached to each other, they could make it work in the long terms.

Once her pelt was clean she turned so that she was facing him. Being much taller than she, he towered over her. Stretching her muzzle up she touched her nose to hers in thank you before lowering her body once again. She found she should apologize though. She hadn’t meant to awaken him but she obviously had. The thought made her regret moving though she was sure he would have sensed it in the first place. Damn the nightmares. . .if it weren’t from them she could have gotten some sleep. She hadn’t gotten decent sleep since the attack and she had much to offer to the healer Chantille. The only problem was her pack. . .she wouldn’t be able to ever repay the young female. She was Poison Path and the two packs did not intermingle nicely.

Speaking softly she sighed, "Thank you. I‘m sorry for awakening you. I didn‘t mean to. I had a nightmare. . .again."

Bags hung heavily underneath her eyes. The sleep deprivation had effected her highly and she was finding it harder to function. She would mix up the certain scents of herbs and run into things that she hadn’t seen prior. It was affecting the way her body progressed. She had gone from fit and healthy to skinny and injured. She had been able to eat fine but the fact that no sleep had come was wearing her done more day by day. She only hoped that when she was in the safety of her borders that then she would be able to sleep. With her pack mates sleeping around her and comforting her. But then would they even accept her back into her pack?

Doubts ran heavy in Nina’s head as she thought about it. She would be useless for hunting and fighting as well as running. The hopes of seeing everything as they once were flew out in the broad of day, for she could no longer see out of one of her eyes any longer. She would definitely be disappointed if she was shooed away, but there was always another plan, right? She could always go and join Koda. He would understand. . .as he always had. But would his leaders? The worry of being accepted once more weighed heavy over her shoulders, but she soon pushed them away the worries. She was with her love right now. . .and that was all that mattered.

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Through thick and thin... - Koda - Jun 17, 2012

The cleansing of her wounds took a long time, but Koda didn't mind ministering to her, especially once she lay down and let herself relax under his care. When she was clean she sat upright and looked up at him, actually apologizing for waking him. He was concerned for her when she spoke of a nightmare, confirming his earlier worries. Apparently, It was a recurring one and the effects were becoming apparent, especially around the eyes. More than her physical injuries were troubling her and he wanted to take any weight off of her that he could. He didn't want to pressure her but perhaps if she spoke of it, it might help her get past it.

He lowered his head and nuzzled her affectionately. "Think nothing of it. I can spare the sleep, where you cannot right now. Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was gentle and void of pressure. He could not force her to share her troubles, but he could invite her to do so. Perhaps giving voice to her fears would take strength away from them and give it back to her. She was looking so fatigued and had lost a lot of weight since the attack, now just a shadow of her former self. He loved her even more for her courage and heart, but he feared that his love and the love of her pack mates might not be enough to keep her going for now. Her heart was probably even more broken than her poor body from her brother's betrayal and viciousness.

His golden eyes met her bright emerald one and he almost willed for her to share her pain with him, so he could shoulder some of the weight for her.

Through thick and thin... - Nina - Jun 17, 2012

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She was utterly surprised to see worry in his eyes. Why must he worry about her? She would eventually be fine. . .well that’s what she was hoping for. None knew what the future had in store for others. Smiling at him she licked his cheek and sighed. She was tired. And she supposed she should talk about it with him. I mean they were in love. . .she could tell him practically anything. Doubt sprang within her but she knew there was no avoiding it. She would have to tell him eventually. With a heavy sigh she soon made her decision to tell him.

Speaking softly, she said, "Ash. . .he. . .succeeded in killing me. And no one was there. No one found out I was murdered. . .ever."

Her voice cracked at the end of each sentence but she soon kept her tears to herself. There was time for that later. She would be by herself around no one and cry her eyes out. It was one of the main ways of how she cooped with some things. She remembered when she first entered Relic Lore, she only thought that Athena and Rhysis would be her worst enemies. Not her own family. And throughout that time she regretted sadly how she just kept her heart for her family on her sleeve. The Hervok’s were a strong clan, one she had chosen to stay out of. . .and it was one of the many reasons her father had despised her.

Suddenly without much thought she spoke to Koda, "My teacher‘s name was Anthony."

The statement might have seemed random to anyone but she knew what she was talking about. The first conversation that Nina had with Koda involved her healing skills and right before she lost her voice she had been about to tell him exactly that. She remembered the conversation clearly and the randomness of the statement only confused her. Why had she brought this up now? Why not when she had gotten her voice back?

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OOC: I know I’m kind of repeating some things in here, but that is the point at the moment. I need her to be confused.

Through thick and thin... - Koda - Jun 17, 2012

It was easy for him to see that she regretted making him worry. What else was he to do, but be concerned for her? She was his life and right here right now his life revolved around nothing but her. He smiled to show her that she shouldn't worry for him. He was strong and he could shoulder some of the weight for her. He would do anything to make this easier for her.

When she finally spoke of her nightmare, it was in and anguished voice that was filled with fear. For a moment her wondered if she was more afraid of Ash actually killing her or of no one knowing what he had done.... of no one knowing what fate had befallen her. She held back tears and he wondered why she tried so hard to hide them. Surely their release would give her a small amount of freedom from her pent up emotions. It was not his place to tell her how to handle her emotions, but it was his place to support her however he could.

Then, seemingly out of the blue, she spoke the name of her old teacher. A look of confusion crossed his face and it took him a bit to put it together. His question to her before she'd lost her voice and he'd gone on his little honey venture for her. Ahhh! He gave her a smile and simply nodded at her Alexander statement. As for her dream, that was another story. He hated that she lived with this terror day in and day out and more and more he wished that the cowardly male had not fled at the first sight of him. The only reason that he still lived was that he had needed to tend Nina rather than to give chase to the cowardly devil.

"I will make sure that he cannot harm you any longer. He will pay for what he has done to you and I will not allow him to hurt you or anyone else like that again." His voice was filled with reassurance, yet it was laced with the promise of retribution as well.

Through thick and thin... - Nina - Jun 17, 2012

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He seemed confused by her sudden outburst not that it wasn’t random but she had remembered the conversation. She didn’t understand why nor why it may have been important but it was something she had apparently wanted to talk to him about for awhile. Her dull emerald eye stared at him, it was dry out now, which made Nina’s own tears shrivel up. He seemed to take pride in staying with her and taking care of her. One of the many things she loved about him. . .his faithfulness and heart. Proof of this was going to be the lady’s Second. What was her name? She hadn’t even asked.

Out of random she suddenly asked something before her mind could comprehend what she was thinking, "What is your leader‘s name?"

Exhaustion was seeming to take another toll on Nina. . .her own sanity. She had barely even heard what Koda had mentioned. Her tail soon started wagging, swaying her own body back and forth. It was painful but at the moment the golden fae didn’t seem to mind. Then she started pouncing. Up and down she would jump until she started to cough. Sitting down quickly and clearing her throat she tilted her head at Koda. . .almost pup-like. Being in a state of pure exhaustion eventually made Nina slightly wacky. She hadn’t exactly remembered the last time she had been like this but afterwards she had remembered it after she had gotten her sleep and laughed off the embarrassment of it all. . .this was embarrassment to her usual self on a whole new level.

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