Nothing seemed to go in Athena’s favor, lately. Luck wasn’t on her side and neither was karma. It appeared that karma was out to get revenge disguised as the young Adonis. She didn’t understand what she could have done to get karma chasing after her, but she wasn’t going to shove it under the rug like she had with other important things lately. She had kept the children alive and safe, hadn’t she? Belladonna and Datura had grown up loved and protected. She had kept the pack together when their leaders had disappeared (not knowing the reason why they were gone). She had scoured the mountainside and the entire Pass looking for any sign of them, but coming up with nothing besides old scents and memories. Should she have done more? But what more could she have done?

But, when Naira and Adonis mysterious returned, she didn’t know if she could trust her again, but she knew she couldn’t just let them suffer out there alone for the harsh winter. They were still her family after all, but the trust was gone. But, was she wrong for not telling the children the truth when she had the chance? The real reason that Athena didn’t tell them was that she was scared – scared of losing them forever after becoming so attached to them. She had loved them with all her heart and protected them with her life. All she wanted was for them to be happy, for them to love someone like she loved them. And she thought that happy was with her, but had she been wrong?

Adonis put her into their perspective, almost doing more good to her than bad. Her ankle would heal with time, but what she had done to their new family had hurt more. They were truly unable to connect with Bella and Datura with the secret that she shoved onto them weighing them down. It was unfair to Naira and Adonis as well as Belladonna and Datura. She really hadn’t meant to do this to them. Her heart was in the right place, but it was time for her to step back. They were still family even if they didn’t feel the same. Fear had gotten the best of her, but now was the time to face her fears and hope that everything turned out right in the end.

Through all her thinking, Tlarx had shown up, the words exchanged fell on deaf ears. She didn’t react to him like she usually would when he came to comfort her, but she knew he was there. Her distracted mind was on other things, removing her from the real world momentarily. Her yearning fiery eyes looked past Adonis towards the nightshade covered path that most likely led towards Bella and Datura. She needed to make things right. Before she could anything, however, Naira was in her ear explaining the procedure of fixing her dislocated ankle. Something in her voice told her she didn’t plan on staying to see if her guidance worked. When the tawny woman finished, she turned on her heel and began towards the den where the children were. Before Naira could get far, Athena’s temporarily hoarse voice called out to her. “Can I talk to them first? Make things right again.” Taking a step towards her, she ignored the searing pain in her ankle. She needed to make things right for herself, Naira, and most importantly the children.

It was a terrible thing, those voices - she had immediately decided that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with them, and yet she had not moved, had not fled. A sick curiosity had gripped her, just as strong as the fear that the same curiosity would be answered. She could feel it, the pain and sadness and anger on the wind - but why? Why were they hurting? It was important, she guessed, but... that didn't make it any easier.

Time passed, and nobody appeared, and Bella moved barely a muscle. She had time to accept that it was heading towards her, had time to prepare, to calm. It was Naira and her mother's voices which hurt the most, though she could hear others. What was going on? And where was Datura? She almost called for him again, but did not - if he had not heard her the first time, he would not again. Just how far had he wondered? She should have gone with him, or asked him to stay. Did she have the courage to brave this alone?

Then, finally, she appeared - a woman Bella had been growing to love, a woman who had been leaving small questions at the back of her mind. Bella had been trying to ignore these questions, telling herself that she wasn't interested in the answers - the answers would bring disruption and change, would alter her reality. Bella was comfortable in her reality. She was happy.

This wasn't about her happiness. It did not take long for her to see the blood on Naira, though she smelled it first, smelled the tension and the fight. Her heart beat a dull rhythm. Who had been fighting? Still she stood, her calm practiced and ready, watching Naira approach with open curiosity. She had heard it all and had heard nothing. Naira moved with such purpose. What was going on? She saw no hostility in the large woman's eyes, in her manner, and did not feel threatened. Naira would not hurt her, so she was safe - so why was she still so afraid?

She knew that grin, that tone, and it served well to soften Bella, to reassure her, though she was not deceptive enough to hide the quiet suspicion in her eyes. "Okay," she said, taking a step towards Naira, tail lifting with a wag, and the enthusiasm was not entirely forced.

If she had not trusted Naira so much, she would not have consented to the simple instructions, but close her eyes she did. Perhaps if she ignored the blood, ignored the raised voices she had heard, then everything would be okay and there would be nothing to worry about. It wasn't her problem, and her mother would have dealt with it, right? She had already been told not to meet strangers on her own, to be careful, not to take risks with her safety. Naira was safe, so she wasn't in danger here. As she took a breath, nothing but dancing darkness in her vision, she listened for further instructions and let the tension fall away.

This was a strange game, but she could go with it. Her lungs filled, and suddenly her heartbeat was distinct in her ears, a comforting rhythm when accompanied by Naira's voice. Bella was so used to careful thought, and something near meditation, so this was not a state that was entirely alien to the girl, but, ordinarily, she let herself go when being absorbed by nature, either the sounds or sights or smells. When Naira said think back, as far as you can remember, her meditation turned onto a very different path, one she had never really trodden before. Bella did not often dwell on the past, preferring to take awe in the present, and occasionally the future. Trusting as she was, she did not question the task, but took to it with curious enthusiasm; just how far back could she remember?

Her senses dulled as she cast back, at first going back minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day; the raised voices, playing with Datura, wanting to visit the lake, waking up, a day of heavy clouds. But these were recent, nowhere near as far back as she could go, so she went faster, week by week, and then the events started to merge as she tried to remember a time before the lake, before the freedom to leave the den, because that was her beginning. The den, with Datura, with her mother, with the white fur she had grown up loving.

She hesitated, and the memory lingered, waiting for her to push harder, but it was such a warm memory - she had never wanted to go further, never even thought to. Why was there a barrier here? She found herself reluctant to try, as though she had long decided that she didn't want to - as if she already knew what was there.

Darker fur, fur like hers, and more smells, smells like her. For the first time since casting back she frowned slightly, discomforted, aware that she was touching a raw nerve that she had tried to ignore, tried to cover. But she knew. How long had she known?

"But... that doesn't make any sense," she whispered, eyes still closed, her ears folding back, her tail falling as she began to succumb to the gentle pain that she had been sheltering herself from. Why would she remember Naira before her mother, in her most pure of memories, clouded by no other thought? Though afraid, she opened her eyes then, to look upon the bloodied woman who had apparently known her before the wolf she loved as her parent. Who she had known.

Still she tried to reject it, tried to protect herself from the truth. She loved her world, she loved her reality - this was a change she didn't need, didn't want. But it was there, staring her in the face. She forgot how to speak, and just watched Naira, waiting, terrified, for the answer.