While Faol had mentioned- albeit briefly and with enough passion for Sagacity to keep her mouth shut- those he had belonged to prior to their meeting, she wondered, now, how extensive that family had been. He'd lost them all, she knew, to some terrible happening. Something that had made him angry and reluctant to join a pack. Had he had a mate? Had he had pups? She felt foolish, now, feeling so worked up about a child that was perfectly healthy, even if he was going through a rough spell. At least she still had him- Faol couldn't say the same for those he had once loved.

He'd looked away and his voice was dry when he laughed. She avoided looking up at him for a moment, knowing that the last thing he might want would be her prying eyes...But when he spoke again, she felt a heavy weight in her chest. There was something that they both knew and felt, but neither had said it outright yet. She had asked him to join the pack because she wanted him to be closer, to be safe and have a home, but she hadn't confessed anything that her heart had dearly wanted to say- and keep hidden, at the same time. She knew what he meant when he spoke then, and she felt her cheeks flush and her heart beat quickly. She knew at once that she was lost in some sort of rush- her nerves tingled and her whole body thrummed with adrenaline. She was too nervous to say the words and longer for him to say them...But knew that he, too, was held back.

For her, it was Mercy. She'd told the boy about Faol, but knew that he wouldn't accept him. She knew that he liked Crowe- he'd even asked her about if she was friends with him, if she'd seen him and if she had, what they'd talked about. He looked up to Crowe and she got the distinct feeling that whenever she did mention Faol that the boy got a bit ruffled.

Faol fell silent, even though she wanted for him to keep speaking...She wanted clarification from him, but she didn't want to be the one to make him explain. She didn't want to force him into anything, especially after all he'd been through...But still, every particle of her being begged for him to speak out, to stop being secretive and say what was on his mind. She wanted to know exactly what he felt for her- while being oblivious to the fact that she hadn't been obvious about her feelings either, apart from the silence and the brightness in her eyes which betrayed a fast, intense stream of thought. She didn't want to be the one to ask the question that begged to be asked. It haunted her, then, lingering just behind her lips, above her brow, in the tension in her shoulders. When he looked away, she felt left behind. She wasn't sure what he meant by it...Whether he was trying to discourage her feelings, or if he had to do so in order to hide his own.

Nevertheless, she decided against speaking and shifted closer to him, and with a soft, whisper of a whine, she lay her head on his shoulder, fearful of any action he might take...If he moved away and shunned her affection, did nothing and acted ambivalent or if he took the chance to embrace her, and make her question what path in life she was meant to take.

She couldn't have predicted how she would have felt and reacted to the way that Faol leaned against her, embracing her completely, his body confessing what he had never said to her before. She'd known that it was coming- she'd hoped for it- but as soon as she felt this reciprocation of passion and tenderness, she all at once felt incredibly guilty and ashamed of herself. She did not move away from him- instead, her new insecurity begged for her to lean closer, which she did. But there was a nagging at the back of her mind- the image of Mercy's angry, shocked face came to mind. Rhysis' face came to mind. Even Crowe's face came to mind- even though he meant much more to Mercy than he did to her. She knew that Naira would approve of this- as would Mapplethorpe, she supposed. Faol was a good pack member- he didn't cause trouble, he was little more than a ghost- which was what made him fit with the pack so well. But she could feel Mercy's ire even though she knew he wasn't even watching.

She didn't know what to say when he replied. Selfishly, she wanted to forget everything and completely embrace the moment. She cared so much about him- and she wanted for him to be her family, for them to spend the rest of their lives together- even to have children. But Sagacity was no longer the selfish creature she had once been. She had Mercy to think about now- and she knew that this would be too tough on him. The last thing she wanted was for him to rebel in the middle of the winter...What if he left? What if he was outraged and went off on his own? She was faced with a difficult decision- to risk losing her son, or risk losing Faol. And she didn't want to lose either of them. There had to be a way around it.

"I know," She answered. She smiled softly when he kissed her cheek; she felt a flood of warmth surge through her. She'd never felt herself so drawn to someone- both physically and emotionally. She and Rhysis had had passion, but it had been based on lust, allure- she'd been drawn to his strength and power, his rank, even. Faol she loved to the innermost parts of his core- for who he was, how he treated her...And she'd never felt that way before. "I wanted you here...Not just in the pack, with me." She confessed. "You're my rock...I can trust you..And I want you to always be in my life." She said. Everything she said was the truth- but there was something that was going unspoken; the one thing that she knew would come between them. "I want this. I want you. But Mercy..." She said. She wished the boy had not become so difficult. "It's not a good time. He's confused, he's judgmental, he might hate you just out of spite, and I don't want that." She said. Her voice lowered. Mercy wasn't the only one who would suffer. "And I can't make you step in and take responsibility for him- he's at such a difficult stage...And with all the mistakes I've made," She said, and shook her head. She paused for a moment. "Now just...Isn't right. I know I shouldn't ask but...Would you wait for me?" She asked. She knew it was selfish- Faol could have easily gone on to find another in the time it took for Mercy to adjust to the idea that his mother might one day take a mate. She couldn't tell how long it would be- but she couldn't keep herself from asking, either.

She was very fortunate to have found a man who was mature enough to realize that she couldn't ever make a choice between her love for a man and the love she had for her son. He was so young still, and dependent on her even if he didn't want to believe it. She knew a day would come when Mercy was older and more able to accept the fact that his mother had a life of her own to live- but right now, her life came second to his, in the eyes of both the mother and the son. Faol seemed to sense that Mercy's welfare was the only thing keeping Sagacity from accepting him completely as her mate- and she had no words which could possibly express her gratitude.

It was agreed, then, that some day they would be together. He promised to wait as long as necessary, and though Sagacity felt she could never make him wait for an eternity, she was glad for the offer all the same, even if it was selfish to feel that way. As much as she cared for him, now wasn't the time, but she knew that when the time came she could still love him just as much- or, at least, her heart told her so. But for now she was content simply to be promised to him, and leaned against his shoulder happily, hoping that their day would come soon.