♫ | Kelly Clarkson – Did You
♫ | Paramore – The Only Exception (Instrumental)
Keeling over might have been something he would have done if it weren’t for his splayed paws. His sudden reaction to seeing them both face to face, seemingly sent both of them into mild shock; the man they had known to be so easygoing and relaxed had been reduced to a nervous wreck, submitting to both of them. He listened as Vlarindara spoke, excusing herself and stating that she didn’t belong. His jaw lowered in disbelief; all he had tried to establish with her, trying to make her feel worthy of him (and so much more) and trying to make her see that she belonged somewhere (with him or a pack)... virtually gone. Heart beating frantically as it felt like it sank slowly into his stomach he watched painfully as she left, leaping through the vegetation and out of sight. The wolf he had confessed his love to had vanished.
If Jayse had not been there he would have followed after her, barked and howled for her to come back. Wait… his mind reverberated the word from before when he had clambered down the mountain side. Wait. Too late now…
Swallowing, he carefully straightened his stance, glancing to the ivory-pelted wolf that still remained before him. The wolf who had gone out on a limb to admit that she loved him lingered. She had scoffed as Vlarindara left and he hoped it was nothing more than an expression of disappointment that she hadn’t stayed. His pastel yellow eyes scanned her features, attempting to cover his relief with a meek smile. He shook his head after picking up on her silent question. When she inched forward, he took a step in her direction, welcoming her properly now. Parting his jowls to speak, she apologized first, ”I’m sorry for whatever I did. I should have left, but she beat me to it.”
She dropped her gaze to the snow and he brushed his muzzle to the crown of her head. ”Don’t be sorry,” he cooed, finding a sense of comfort in the fragrance of her coat. ”It… was just… a misunderstanding.” ”I should have left…” her phrase repeated in his ears. He leveled his head with hers to meet her eyes once more. ”I’m the one who ought to be sorry,” he whispered. ”I never meant for something like this to happen.”
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She did little to look at him, or attempt to move. Only
catching the shake of his head. She wasn't sure what he
was telling no, she need not worry about this? Her body
felt so tired, worn out. She felt her energy draining just
from standing. But new images were in her head now.
Borden looking after the white wolf with loss in his
eyes. Sitting there, like he'd break from hurt. Maybe all
along she'd known it, that in her comany he wasn't
comfertable because of reasons he'd never spoken. Like
someone else his heart pined for or something like it.
Surely, he had to have cared for the loner to some extent
to look at her that way. What had she done now? It had
only been days since she'd spoken her heart, and she
was unsure now even after he had said the same in
return. What did this mean, had he really meant what he
had said? She wasn't sure what to believe in, her grip on
reality no longer what it had been. It had felt so real, it
had actually been the best night of her life. He was still
here, with her not running after the other. Didn't that
speak volumes?A light escaped her lips, as she felt his
touch. She felt lost. Ears dropped despite his sweet
tone, the guilt striking in her heart. Had she crushed the
other's hopes, his? Is that what had happened? She didn't want to be that wolf.
Standing in the middle of love, it was that wolf who'd
taken the chance with her parents away. Ruined
everyone's happy begginings. Or was it her father for his
lack of conviction? The pound in her head beat in tune
with her heart. She pushed history from her mind. She
heard the words about the whole ordeal a
misunderstanding, but had a hard time holding onto
them. Wasn't it Jayse who was misunderstanding? Once
she arrived assumptions were made, and here they were
trying to patch up the remains.
She knew his eyes sought hers, and for a few seconds
she could not meet them. She didn't feel worthy to look
into them. Quiet tone whispered in her ears, and she
slowly let her gaze go to his. She did not feel she
deserved his appoligy or even an explanation. She did
wonder what this meant for them...for her. Eyes drifted
to the white fluff, front limbs shifting ever so. "It's
all right Borden. Will you just tell me one thing?"
She swallowed back the sour feeling, but she had to
know. "Are you sure you don't want to run after her,
rather then stay here with me?" She was so sick of
hurting him, she felt cruel for even thinking the words,
but she had to know if being here was what he wanted.
If she was still what he wanted. She didn't want him trying to be happy with her while his mind was else where. She much rather have two happy wolves, not three miserable ones.
lost your balance
on a tight rope.
lost your mind trying to get it back.
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Calling Card - Borden - Feb 16, 2011
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♫ | Sia – My Love
Tail hanging behind him at his hind legs and ears at ease on each side of his head, he let out a soft whine when she didn’t look to him; he patiently waited. Whatever she wanted to say, he wanted to hear her out, to hear of her worries or what she had made of the encounter or anything else that happened to be on her mind. Eventually, she met his gaze but she returned to gazing at the snow in front of her. ”It’s alright Borden,” she somewhat managed to ease him. ”Will you just tell me one thing?” She fidgeted and he expected the worst, something direct and accusing, like: “Say you’ll never see me again…” or “Are you ‘seeing’ her?” or “Why’d you lie to me?” or “You didn’t mean what you said to me in the den, did you?” Instead, she asked, ”Are you sure you don’t want to run after her, rather than stay here with me?”
Unrequited love... that was all it was, or at least he thought it was. His heart had pined after the amber-eyed woman since the few days after he had run into her in the Thicket. But after aiding her in her search for a cure when her adopted brother had fallen ill, the feelings of longing for her had begun to unravel, even fade in a few places when the mountain kept him from visiting the secluded den in the Cedarwood Forest. Vlarindara had never returned the “I love you,” stating instead that she “shared the sentiment.” While it was uplifting for his soul, it left just enough room for doubt; and that was where Jaysyek came in, filling in that parts of his heart, that couldn’t be filled by a simple affirmation.
Reaching out to nudge his nose to the base of her ear, he planted a “kiss” into her fur, ”Of course.” It was barely above a whisper; his throat and lungs hurt from holding his breath and keeping his guilt from being voiced. He knew now that Jayse was the reason to keep wandering; she had been that pull that brought him to Relic Lore, and it was fully probable that his stumbling into Vlarindara and the bear was what drove him to Wildflower Glade… to meet the runaway Enap there.
Noting how she must have felt, he settled down in the snow and looked up at her after resting his head on the ground. He couldn’t bear not being able to read or see the emotion in those gold-and-sapphire irises. A weak smile lifted the corners of his maw just slightly. ”I love you, Jayse,” he breathed, hoping to further prove himself as an uxorious partner. ”Of course, I’d stay here… with you.”
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Calling Card - Jaysyek - Feb 16, 2011
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ooc; good song.
Seether-The Gift
Seether feater Amy Lee-Broken
The gentle pressure of his touch caused drops of moisture to swell in the corners of bi-colored eyes. She had always thought he was to good to be true......too good for her. The tender kissed reassuring his whisperings, she was at a loss to convey her emotions. Silent tears were the only thing that managed to run freely. Both happiness, and unworthiness their cause. Scarcely a breath, she still managed to avoid eye contact when he shifted downward, where her nose could have brushed his. Her resistance failed in matter of milliseconds though, and she stared back into gold-green swirled liquid. The second time in her life he uttered the words she needed to hear, and there was no room in her heart to doubt him. Never again would she let those thoughts cloud her mind, she told herself. Knowing she needed to always believe in them, and him like the air she breathed. Small ounces of relief flooded through her, his voice alone being the source. Black nose touched his, and she forced a half smile onto black lips. "I love you Borden." She stated in quiet tones, a hope he would know these were as true as the first time she'd spoken them. She had not stopped loving him for a second, and wanted also to dismiss any uncertainty. He was the small string she was holding onto, and now it was an unbreakable chain.
The build of happiness was broke by her own guilt. She shifted onto her own belly, shuffling to his shoulder blades. Burrying her head into the dark winter coat, she inhaled deep only letting his fragrancy envelope her senses. The strong mountain stone, pine and quake mix, the musk and wet aroma. She could stay there forever, lose herself in it. But she held her own secret she didn't want to keep any more. It was eating at her, more then mental she felt physicly ill. She needed to release it for the sake of her well being, but the after affects of speaking had her trapped with fear. She had done nothing intently, but it did not free her of the shame. Eyes dry, she tried to collect her thoughts to strings of words. She did not know where to begin, how to start. A deep sigh, a frown hung on the corners of her mouth. "I'm so glad I have you...." The she-wolf whispered, "....that your mine." Throat ached from the tears that'd passed, and wanting to come. She refused to let them. If only to know what she hadn't told yet would not ruin things. Would he still have her, or would this drive him away? Would he be the hero he'd always been, knowing exactly what to do? Lids closed welcoming the plain darkness, concentrating on the steady pound his heart. If she hadn't nothing to lose it would be different, but she had nothing if not him. "Borden, I did something..." Words were stronger, tainted with shame, ".....something horrible." The coward she was, she hid her face, voice shaky. "I hurt a wolf..."She struggled to say more the reaccuring nightmare appearing infront of her eyes. A kind face with yellow eyes, falling....falling down.
The only way to find true happiness,
is to risk being completely cut open.
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Calling Card - Borden - Feb 17, 2011
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♫ | Frou Frou – Let Go
Catching her words the plume at his back swayed gently as she moved in beside him. She nestled herself into his pelt and he slightly curved his frame around her. He watched as she made herself comfortable then sighed. The sound made him lift his head from his forelimbs, cocking it slightly. A spark of curiosity lit up his eyes.
Urging, almost pleading, her to share what was on her mind, he brushed his tail against hers or whatever part of her he could reach. ”I’m so glad I have you… that you’re mine,” she quietly stated. His soul gave a leap of joy but instantly sobered upon hearing her next phrase. ”Borden, I did something…”
Preparing himself for something just as worse as the assumptions he had made before, he held his breath, waiting as the words formed a proper sentence. ”…something horrible,” she continued. A pause... ”I hurt a wolf…” Borden blinked. Oh. He inched forward a bit so he could curl around and at least somewhat face her, ”Ohhh, Jayse, don’t worry about that.” He wasn’t sure what she had done, but he hoped his words offered a small bit of comfort. She did say “hurt” instead of “kill,” lest he heard her incorrectly and he doubted he did. ”May I ask who?” he risked asking her this, but perhaps if he knew who it had been, he could probably vouch that whoever had encountered Jayse would have been fine. She probably meant no harm to begin with.
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Calling Card - Jaysyek - Feb 17, 2011
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♫ | Taylor Swift-Innocent
Darker form bent closer to hers, but she could not move nor open her eyes frozen with her initial fears. She only kept breathing, trying to concentrate on the action. Ears turned back against the dip of her head. Waiting for his reaction, waiting to hear the worse. Instead of him jumping away, or well frozen with shock he moved even closer to where she hid. That's when her eyes flashed opened, and she unburried her snout. Tail curled beneath her, and she layed her head on her paws. Some consolation was made with his reply, and yet it wasn't enough to put it out of her mind. He inquired of who, and she did not think twice about telling.. She really wanted to find the lady, and it was relief to tell him."Her name is Ozera. She was a loner who'd join not long ago, and well...I..I..pushed her off of Riddle Heights." She said it in two breaths, rather quickly, then inhaled again. "I didn't even know she was there, I was jumping a ledge, and pretty much smacked right into her. Before I could help, she fell - rather hard." If it was the sense he'd understand or she wanted him to know the facts she looked at him with a wary gaze. Almost like a child who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, but this was much worse. She wanted to convey why she should worry about it. Why she wasn't exactly herself.
She swallowed, as if that wasn't enough. Leaning her head into he side, she said,"I think she is still alive, but I fell awful because what if she's somewhere dying -in pain?" That's what Jayse was worried about, this wolf was hurt really bad and she could picture the worse scenarios. Like only waiting to die or falling prey to another creature, tottally defenseless. This was what was eating at her, how the wolf didn't deserve her life to end that way-to suffer all because Jayse made one mistake.
On a roll, she couldn't stop. "I've looked, and I managed to get to one place where she hit, but by that time it was too late to keep looking. Then it snowed and I can't find a trace of her anywhere." She let out a rushed sigh, then said "I'd just like to find her, know she's all right you know?" She glanced at the gap between her forelimbs, then rested her jaw on the dip. "I'm sorry," She sighed, but she felt much better she had told him, though it didn't exactly change what she'd done. It did help put her mind at ease, that Borden was still there, giving her hope. Looking up at him, she managed a weak smile, and nuzzled her nose against his chin. "What would I do without you, love?" She whsipered into the creamy coat.
The only way to find true happiness,
is to risk being completely cut open.
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Calling Card - Borden - Feb 17, 2011
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♫ | Sarah McLachlan – Adia
Borden’s face composed itself now into his classic “Oh” expression. His left ear turned to the side as his right remained facing forward in interest and his brows came together with a hint of worry. Jayse placed her head upon her front paws and he gazed down at her silently. ”Her name is Ozera,” she replied. ”She was a loner who’d joined not long ago, and well…I…I…pushed her off of Riddle Heights.”
Inching a paw towards hers, he listened as she drew in a breath. ”I didn’t even know she was there, I was jumping a ledge, and pretty much smacked right into her. Before I could help, she fell – rather hard.” His lips opened to console her and her head lilted to one side. This “Ozera” was somewhere in the snow, terribly injured from falling… He closed his mouth as she began again after a brief moment, ”I’ve looked, and I managed to get to one place where she hit, but by that time it was too late to keep looking. Then it snowed and I can’t find a trace of her anywhere. I’d just like to find her, know she’s all right, you know?”
Resting her head back into the snow, the beta winced, grimaced as he heard the whole story. ”Aw, Jayse,” he murmured, wanting nothing more than to “scoop her up” and take her away from this place. She sighed, ”I’m sorry.” The tip of her nose grazed his chin, seemingly grateful that he was still there, at her side, unmoving, wanting to make sure she was alright. ”What would I do without you, love?” A small smile formed along his muzzle.
Done with the apologies, he sighed in turn. They were still speaking to one another with these “I’m sorry’s.” ”It’s okay,” he assured her further, lightly pressing his temple to hers in comfort for a bit. ”It’s okay. I’m sure she’s fine; if she’s… not there… maybe she found a place to rest.” He did worry about the fallen wolf, even if he hadn’t met her, but what more could they do? The fresh snow probably had covered up Ozera’s tracks very well and any hints of where she had wandered off to were long gone now for sure. The fact that he’d never truly discovered, let alone heard of, Riddle Heights didn’t help. As far as he was concerned, perhaps the fall wasn’t as severe as she thought. Perhaps, she was exaggerating; he couldn’t tell. ”Maybe she’s found herself a spot away from everything to recover,” he added. ”If someone had found her in… poor condition, surely we’d know by now, right? She’s prob’ly alright, love. It was an accident. No need to worry about it any further, hmm?” He withdrew from her and gave her a quiet glance, hoping to see evidence of letting go of the matter in her fair features.
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Calling Card - Jaysyek - Feb 17, 2011
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She hung on to each of his expressions, trying to read them while she spoke of the ordeal. She really wanted to know what he made of it all, knowing the full gist of it. He only seemed to reflect what was happening inside her, and that's why she kept her look averted from him. The tiny bit of shame, the little voice of doubt existing.
Body was worn and tired, she really wanted to curl up, fall asleep and forget the whole thing ever happened. Ozera, and whoever the white wolf was. It'd be so much easier to blank the things out of her mind, unlucky for her she'd do the oppisite. Imprinting the stupid things to memory. She wished life worked differently, the best was the only thing you could hold onto, not the bad. She got a mix of both, the bad infront, the good trying to push through. Trying to tell her, everything was all right-or better because she was by his side he was the light shining through the cloud.
A small grin picked at the corner of her right cheek, hearing him speak her name, and the short, aw. The weight was still upon her, but not as heavy. She actually felt she could physicaly breath better now, think instead of murky judgement. While he swept his head close to hers it filled her with comfort, and support. Gray ears folded, gently swept upward trying to believe what he spoke. She had come to the conclusion, and hearing him made it seem plausible -not a fruitless thought. The rest especially, if any of the pack found her she'd be home. Jayse couldn't help but think of the Swift River leader, his family pack, surely they would have brought her home or were taking care of her if they had found her. What he said made sense, but she knew her conscious would not be clear till she saw her. For now she'd let it.....try any way.
A smile more compused, placed itself on her face. Eyes traced their ways to his, the warm light returned."All right, you are much to convincing," She stated, surrendering to him, a devious look in her gaze."But don't think I'll forget about this." She meant the strange white wolf too, but was half teasing, as it was carried in her tone. Winking, she rose and planted a warm kiss on his cheek. She didn't want to disrupt this good thing she had going. "I don't know about you, but I could use a nap. I haven't slept since the last time I saw you." She stated, still smiling while her tail beat the air behind her.
The only way to find true happiness,
is to risk being completely cut open.
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