He was getting better. Someone said once that time healed all wounds — apparently that was true because the more time that passed after his mother’s death, the better he felt. There was still a gaping hole in his heart where his mother used to be, and Arion wasn’t sure if that would ever go away, but mentally he was becoming stable once more. Losing his father had been easy. Arion had barely gotten a chance to be acquainted with his father, so his absence had barely affected him. Unless someone brought up Inkheart, the smudge pretended his father did not exist. His mother, however, was a different story. They had been on their way to strengthening their relationship when he had discovered her body, which only added more salt to the wound. She would never get a chance to see him grow and see where life would take him — and he no longer had any family left in Relic Lore. He still had @Nalda and @Ember and he was grateful for their presence; they were the closest thing he had to family. They were the only reason why he even tried pulling himself together after Zia’s death. He could not abandon them; he had promised Ember he was not going anywhere and he planned to keep his word.

After waking up in an adventurous mood the smudge had set his course for north. There was still much of Relic Lore that he had not yet explored and the northern territories remained a mystery to the Celencio. As the sun began its ascent Arion weaved through the forest that separated his home from the expanse. He was not sure what to expect, as he had never gone this far north before, but excitement fuelled his steps as his pace quickened. A little vacation from his birthplace was long overdue, especially after his recent visit to the mountain that had claimed his mother’s life.

After meandering through the trees for what felt like forever they began to disperse. His pace slowed as he reached the end of the trees, the grass beneath his toes beginning to transition to sand. In front of him was the largest body of water he had ever seen — the minuscule pool of water at the base of Secret Falls was nothing compared to this behemoth. A lazy smile rolled onto his slender maw as his pace quickened once more. Without warning R sprinted to the water, full force, and let the water cascade over him as plummeted beneath the surface. After a few moments he allowed his head to resurface, his jaws parted as he gasped for air, the lazy smile still tugging at his lips. For the first time in a long time Arion felt happy… and it was a very strange feeling.  

The once sociable yearling now excelled at being alone; in fact, he preferred it. Prior to Zia’s disappearance and death, Arion had never spent much time on his own. Nalda and the twins were always around when his mother wasn’t and most of his adventures ended up with some sort of company at his side (whether he wanted it or not). Now that he was alone, almost constantly, it felt strange interacting with others — even those he used to occupy his time with.

As the water cascaded off his dark fur his smile began to fade away, his teal gaze focused on the clouds above. It was strange to Arion that everything around him continued to change at a gradual pace while he was thrust into a heaping mess of emotions. A deep, exhausted sigh rolled off his tongue as he pushed through the water, closing the distance between himself and the shore—

‘R is that you?’

—he stopped mid paddle, brows screwed together as he focused his teal gaze on the dark shape ahead of him. The warm, espresso coat was impossible to forget. “Halie?” He resumed paddling, this time his movements quicker and more deliberate as he headed for the water’s edge. Once he was able to touch the ground R splashed his way to Sahalie until he was ankle-deep. He stopped, head tilting to the side as he studied the golden-eyed girl. “Hi,” he greeted softly with a slow wag of his tail. 

The smudge was pleased to see the golden-eyed girl, he just could not remember how to show happiness anymore. There were small things he knew to do. Smiling was important — smiling made him look almost normal. Wagging his tail, that helped too. Conversation… that was something he was still working on. Feigning excitement was something Arion had not perfected just yet. It would come… and maybe the positivity that used to radiate off him would return as well. He hoped. The smudge did not like being so glum all the time, but it was hard. It was so hard.

He blinked, allowing his lips to pull back into a smile as he nodded. “Too long,” he responded with a tilt of his head. She looked… not upset, but not quite like the Sahalie he remembered, and he hoped it wasn’t from his lack of enthusiasm. He would try harder. They were friends, right? That’s what friends did… right?

“Not a lot a lot,” he mumbled in response with a small shrug, his eyes crinkling in amusement. She spoke again, words tripping off her tongue in typical Sahalie-fashion. He nodded, this time more excitedly than before. “Yes, I remember,” he answered quickly, his sea-green gaze fixated on the chocolate girl. “How was it?” He was genuinely curious. Arion did not have any family left — he did not even know if he had extended family left in the Lore. Zia had never mentioned anyone. He was envious of the connections that his friend had, but he quickly subdued the green monster and returned his attention to the girl in front of him.

Why am I like this, he thought bitterly to himself as his lips tightened into a thin line. Sahalie had noticed something was different immediately—and she was not someone Arion saw often. The realization had hit him like a tree trunk; he didn’t like being this way but he did not know any other way to be. R despised putting on a facade; he did not see the point in pretending to be, or feel, or a certain way when, inside, he was the complete opposite. It didn’t make sense. He would much rather be miserable than put on a happy front. At least he was feeling something.

He studied her, silently, a small smile working it's way onto his dark features. The espresso-coloured girl was not like the girls he had grown up with in the Pines. She was, often, an overwhelming presence. She exuded energy and positivity; sometimes it was suffocating, but it was also immensely comforting.

Without warning a flurry of words expelled from the chocolate girl as she dove into her story, expressing her indifference to the whole situation. For a brief moment Arion was thankful he had no family left in Relic Lore—family drama did not sound appealing. The thought, however, quickly receded as he tuned back into the girl’s speech, his teal gaze fixated on his companion. “Well, at least it’s almost over,” he said suddenly, his voice small as he attempted to lighten the situation. “Must’a been nice to kinda explore a bit though, huh?” Arion’s paws ached at the thought of adventure, but he feared going too far. Things were… unstable back home; he never wanted to be gone for too long in fear something drastic would happen.

“I-uh, I,” he stammered after she had shoved him playfully, unsure of how to respond to the question. Now wasn’t really the time for him to discuss the downward spiral that was his life. “I haven't really been up to anything,” he admitted, sheepishly, his brows narrowing slightly. “Just bein’ a loon,” he offered with a wide grin.

“I wonder if you could swim to ’em,” he mused aloud, his icy gaze fixated on the pieces of floating land behind them. It would be a long swim but it certainly would be worth it. Like Sahalie he had never seen a place like this before—he had been so accustom to the Pines and the waterfall he frequented that he often forgot about the neighbouring territories. He was trying to make up for lost time by exploring the north and, eventually, the south.

Arion was tired of being sad all the time—it was utterly exhausting—but he could not remember what happiness felt like. He knew how to feign happiness and how to pretend everything was alright to ensure he did not upset his friends. He was allowed to be upset, not them—and he did not want to be the reason behind their sadness. That wasn’t friendship. Pretending to be okay wasn’t an easy task; it was just as exhausting as the depression and anxiety that consumed him. But it was better than pushing everyone away.

He was stunned by her question at first, unsure of how to answer, his words fumbling on the tip of his tongue: “Well, uh, l-loons um—“ The opportunity to come up with a lacklustre response had been stripped from him as Sahalie asked another question—float? What could she mean by that?—and shoved him into the water.

The water rushed into his mouth as he fought against the water, searching for the surface overhead. Luckily for the smudge the water was shallow and it did not take long for his head to break through the surface. A frown creased his lips despite the fire that burned behind his cool blue gaze. Without further hesitation R threw his body against the water in an attempt to send a wave over his chocolate-coloured friend.