Snippet ran. She ran until her lungs ached. She ran until her paws were bloody. She ran until she could no longer hear anything but the blood rushing in her ears. The world around her swam with tears as she raced onward. A few times she had heard the sound of her family calling for her but she didn't dare stop. In time she couldn't hear them at all. Their voices faded away like the very scents of home as she fled. Parsnip ran until she physically couldn't take another step and she collapsed into a trembling mess beneath an aged pine.

They would never forgive her for what she had done.

It didn't seem likely that there would ever come a time when she did not see her young cousin's face when she closed her eyes. The eagle's talons had left deep scores in the pup's face. They had punctured deep into his belly. There had been so much blood. It painted the tawny boy's pelt and soaked into the soft, loamy soil of the meadow. She could hear him crying as though he were right there beside her. He called out in fear and in pain. While the family rushed to answer that call, Parsnip turned and ran. It was her fault. The boy was as good as dead and it was all her fault.

It was better to leave before they had a chance to force her out for her crimes. Even so, she knew that she was not cut out for a life spent alone. As she sprawled on the nettles beneath the old tree and panted for breath she came up with a plan. She would find her grandfather - an exile like herself - and stay with him. Her family spoke of him as though he was a monster and now she was just like him. She would find him and align herself with him. He was all she had now. She would find him.

Snippet just needed a little rest first.

✿

For a long while the girl did little more than draw deep, greedy breaths into her starved lungs. Her sides heaved violently. Wide, orange eyes stared unseeing ahead of her as she lay on her bed of nettles. Eventually, however, her breaths slowed and she became aware of her surroundings and a growing sense of dread began to edge in alongside the devastating guilt. The trees were dense and the forest dark. If that was not enough, the ghostly mist made it truly hard to see more than a few feet ahead of her nose. Her hackles rose with trepidation and her limbs began to tremble with fear as well as exhaustion.

Every little sound seemed to echo through the thick fog and her ears swiveled this way and that in a paranoid attempt to track them all. These were the natural sounds of the forest, but the unknown was frightening - too much so for the girl so soon after the trauma she fled from. Suddenly the ambiance of the spooky copse was broken by the sounds of something crashing through the mist. Parsnip gulped and pressed herself as flat as she could against the nettles. If she made herself small enough, perhaps she could avoid notice. It wasn't a good plan by any means, but it was all she had in her current state. 

Good or not, the plan seemed to work for a moment. The wolf sat back on his haunches and panted - catching his breath after his own run. If she waited it out, she would be safe. She'd be fine. It was all going to be fine. At least, that might have been the case before those burning orange eyes opened squarely on her. The beast was up on his feet and gunning for her in an instant and she froze wide-eyed in terror. The sharp, unmistakable scent of urine filled the damp air as she voided her bladder. It was an act of submission as much as it was one of fear. Perhaps it was this act that stopped the wolf in his tracks. 

Snippet didn't recognize her grandfather initially, though it was not long in coming to her. A year was not nearly enough time for her to have forgotten him. "Opa?" She had made the plan to search for him, but she had not dared to dream that he would stumble upon her like this. She felt a quick surge of hope, though it was quickly dashed when he growled out, 'What did you do?' Parsnip whined and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. "Juni died because of me." The girl was miserable and heartbroken. Guilt was written in every line of her body. It was etched permanently into her skin. 

✿

When her grandfather pressed his cold nose into her damp cheek she whimpered again, desperate for even that little bit of comfort. She didn't want to walk anywhere. She certainly didn't want to talk about what had happened to Juniper. She wanted to lay somewhere dark where no one could see her cry and sleep. Whatever she wanted, Larkspur was her grandfather and so had a role of authority over her. He nudged her and she crawled closer to him and out of the pee-soaked nettles with her tail tucked up between her legs. Her muscles protested, but Parsnip forced herself up onto her paws at his urging. 


The yearling stuck close to her grandfather's side to draw a meager sort of comfort from the points of contact between them. "They'll never forgive me," she murmured woefully with a sniffle. He claimed that whatever she had done he'd forgive her, but Snippet was having trouble believing him. It was terrible, what she'd done - what had happened. She couldn't even forgive herself. "I was supposed to be watching him," she started, though emotion choked her words. "I said I'd watch him. He was just a puppy." Her paws ached with every step, but she figured she deserved to suffer that pain. 


"I forget things a lot. All the time. I try to remember and be good, but I just.. forget and there was this butterfly. It was really pretty and I wanted to eat it. So I chased the butterfly and I forgot about Juni in the meadow! He was all alone and an eagle got him!" She couldn't walk anymore. She stopped and let her head drop until her nose was nearly resting on the ground. Fat tears dripped from the end and the soil gladly drank them up. "There was so much blood, Opa.."

✿

Parsnip wept bitterly for several long moments. Her eyes burned. Her chest ached. Her muscles trembled. She was a wreck, but when her grandfather came and sat at her side - rested his head against her in comfort - her breath hitched and shuddered. She drew in one deep breath after the other and clawed her way back to composure just as he began to speak. It was cruel, wasn't it? How they would have thrown her out for what had happened. She hadn't meant for it to happen! She was family just as much as Juniper was. Everything the old man said soaked in - the girl had no defenses against it. 


Larkspur was angry - not at Parsnip, of course - but at the way she had been treated. (Well, how she would have been treated if she'd stuck around long enough.) The way he had been treated. When he said they were one in the same she sniffled and leaned heavily into his side as she raised her head from the soil and nettles. The words he spoke couldn't erase the pain and guilt she felt, but they did inspire hope in her. She wasn't going to be alone. He forgave her and she forgave him just the same. They were both the same now - exiles from their family. They could make their own way together. 


"Okay, Opa. If.. if you can forgive me for what I did, then I of course forgive you. I want to stay with you." Those big, wet eyes - eyes she'd gotten from him - looked up at her grandfather. They were brimming with emotion - all the things she felt were clearly on display. The child couldn't keep a secret to save her life. Guilt and fear mingled with love and trust and hope. It was too much for one little wolf to feel all at once, but somehow she managed. Snippet sniffed once more and offered the old man a weak, trembling smile. Things were not okay - not yet - but someday they would be. 


 
"What do we do now? Where do we go?"

✿

Parsnip drew in another slow, shaky breath and closed her eyes as he grandfather licked away the salt from her tears. With a few more deep breaths the girl found herself in control once more - though it was a tentative hold. Larkspur had found a pack. She would go with him and find a home with them too. Neither of them would have to be alone. She couldn't go back and undo what had been done. She couldn't bring Juniper back from death. She couldn't stop herself from chasing after that butterfly. All she could do was move forward, and that's what she was going to do. She opened her now dry eyes once more and climbed unsteadily onto her tired paws. 


"I'm tired, but I can go a little further," she assured him with a small smile and a brief wag of her tail. As for the rabbit, well.. Parsnip looked askance and let her ears fall back in shame. Her whole posture changed. She hunkered down and tucked her tail up between her legs. "I almost caught one on my own, but then I saw this funny looking tree and I got distracted.." It was how many of her hunting lessons had ended as well. The quick-footed girl would have had no problem with the long-ears if she could only remain focused enough on the target. It hadn't been something she'd managed so far. Snippet ducked her head, sure of the rebuking she'd get. She was too old to be so helpless. That's what everyone said. 


"I'll try, though. I promise. I'll try really hard."  


The girl looked back at her grandfather and stretched up to lick at his chin. She'd be good. She's listen. She'd pay attention and try really, really hard to follow all of Larkspur's instructions. She was an obedient, submissive little thing. It would be far too easy to turn and twist her into whatever shape he wanted. "Will you tell me about your pack, Opa? Will they like me? Will I have anyone to play with?"

✿