Ruins of Wildwood
Bowed Maple Bend Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Printable Version

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Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Cottongrass - Dec 20, 2016

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Set after his encounter with Kerberos, Cottongrass is looking for anyone that might make his day a little better!

Or worse.

Backdated to December 18th — Morning — Freezing fog — 6 ° F, -15 ° C


His paws crunched in the snow, and this time he didn't pay any attention to them. Instead he was stubbornly ignoring them. And maybe he was becoming almost hyper-aware of what each sound his clumsy body was making, but he tried his best to ignore that too. It was zoning out that had gotten him into trouble last time, and he was going to do everything he could to make sure it would never happen again.


He stomped forward through the fog, closer towards the silhouette of a tree. Distantly he could remember there being a weird pond-river thing by it. He just had to cross it to get back to where he saw Victoria and Avery days before. His pace picked up, because Vic was good at figuring out stuff that he didn't want to. And Avery - well, Cottongrass always got the feeling that he and the smaller male were more alike than anyone would ever think. They both panicked, a lot. Except he wouldn't admit that to anyone ever.


The ice was right there, coming into view and his spirits were brightening for one tentative moment. Except his paws didn't even each the ice before he fell. It happened in the blink of an eye - one second he was shuffling forward and the next he was down in the snow. Whatever fragile dam of hope that was keeping his emotions in check broke, right then and there.


His encounter with Rigel was wrong. Leaving Vic and Avery even for a little bit was wrong. And Cottongrass - he was the wrongest of them all. He didn't move from his position on the bank near the twisted tree. Instead he just sulked. Nobody was even around to pity him, and he'd probably have to shuffle all the way back just to get his well-deserved sympathy.


The east was his new worst place.


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RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Solas - Dec 20, 2016

He was getting closer to his destination he could feel it. Solas could see the mountain looming on the horizon and the sight of it had brought a new surge of energy. It wouldn't be long now he knew before he would face the man that had sired him. A touch of nervousness went down his spine as questions filtered through his head. Would he be accepted? What if he wasn't wanted? This were the thoughts that had drove him nuts since he had set out to find his long lost Father. Just like every time before he shook his head clear. He didn't need to worry about them now. At the moment he needed to focus on getting to the berry fields, and maybe if he was lucky he would reach them tonight.

Trekking through the snow he thought he could hear paw steps in the snow. So he paused to listen, ears up as gold eyes scanned the area. He couldn't see anything. Wait! Was that a wolf? He tracked the pale figure as it made its way through the trees. A sense of unease went through the dark male. He could wait for them to go out of sight or he could follow and potentially get some information from them. Weighing the risks he carefully followed the pale wolf wanting to get a better idea of what they might be like.

Slowly a river came into view and with it the stranger visibly perked up. Solas stopped to watch and see what the stranger had in mind. Did they plan to cross the ice? It looked like they might. One moment they were moving forward the next they were on the ground and Solas flinched. That had probably hurt.

He glanced around to see if anyone else was going to suddenly show up. When no one appeared Solas sighed and then moved forward carfully. Are you alright? He called out as he walked forward before stopping a ways away as he waited for a response, hoping this wasn't a trick.


RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Cottongrass - Dec 20, 2016

Thank you for replying <3

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Was he alright?


His instinctive response was to say yes, and immediately figure out a way so he could waddle away with as little awkwardness as possible. But the rest of him - the rest of him was nothing but a puppy in the body of a big wolf. And the puppy inside of him wanted all of the attention, and all of the sympathy. As much as it as possible, preferably, because his daily dose of pity was sorely lacking. He'd have to get what he could from whoever had found him.


"No." He mumbled, slowly pushing himself to his haunches. Should he tell them? He felt like he should tell them, at least a little bit so that way he'd see if they were even really that interested. Because he was very picky about the attention he got, and it had to be genuine or else it wouldn't even matter. He didn't want another Rigel. His ears rolled back against his head and he gave a soft frown as he thought about it.


"I think I messed up." He mumbled again, yellow eyes drawing up to meet the gaze of the male's. If they wanted to hear more he was fully ready to ramble and let everything out. Because boy oh boy, there was a lot for him to tell and a whole lot of emotion he wanted gone.


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RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Solas - Dec 20, 2016

OOC: You're welcome ^^

As the pale wolf raised himself up Solas realized he looked rather young. Instantly he could feel himself relaxing as the imagined threat decreased drastically. A younger wolf was less experienced and usually didn't try to pull stunts unless they were rash, stupid, or looking to prove themselves. Eyeing this wolf Solas sincerely doubted he was any of those. He honestly looked like he had just had a bad day.

Solas tried to not let himself be drawn in. He didn't want to get pulled into someone else's problems in case they became his own. The dark man needed to reach his goal before Winter stopped him in his tracks. He was almost able to push himself away. To get out before the kid mentioned anything else but he didn't make it. I think I messed up. He went still at the words before letting out a sigh. Darn it all and his caring nature. Sometimes he wished he was a little more selfish, then he wouldn't get caught up in unnecessary things.

Why do you think that? Solas questioned as he moved to sit near the younger wolf. He focused all his attention on the pale figure expression waiting. If they were going to talk then the kid might as well spit out what was bothering him now. Maybe he would talk himself to a solution on his own without any interjection on Solas's part. That is if there could be a solution to the problem that had the younger wolf frowning.


Re: - Spirit of Wildwood - Dec 20, 2016

There is a rabbit's nest nearby. +1 Health


RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Cottongrass - Dec 20, 2016

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His ears heard the sigh, but his brain zoomed in on the go ahead to ramble that was phrased as a question. He perked up immediately, eyes following the wolf as they sat down near him. His ears flicked forward and he leaned slightly towards them. Because this stranger was making his day better already. Behind him his tail thumped, not quite a wag but getting there.


"Well," he drew in a shaky breath as he struggled to order his thoughts, "I met this uh, wolf, somewhere east." His words were accompanied with a vague pointing of his muzzle to an area he could only guess was east. He looked down at his paws as he remembered the rest of what had exactly happened. And he wasn't enjoying it, if his wince was anything to go by.


"I - they - I dunno. They treated me as if there was something, uh, wrong with me." He stammered out, ears rolling back against his skull. Because he had said he was okay, but the questions just kept coming and he didn't like that. Not one bit. "They asked a lot of questions, and I guess - I guess I answered 'em wrong." He mumbled, watching his white paws fidget in the snow.


"I think they hate me now." His words were barely a whisper, and this time he looked up to meet the older wolf's gaze. That's the part that hurt him the most. Just the sheer hostility and awkwardness that had lingered in the air, the way he felt on edge. The tension, the stress. He just wanted Rigel to like him, but he did something wrong and it all went south from there on out. It was his fault, surely. But he hoped there was a way to fix his guilty conscience and what had happened. He didn't like feeling like he had enemies.


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RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Solas - Dec 20, 2016

@Cottongrass

Once more he watched as the kid perked up and his tail began to sway against the ground behind him. Solas held back the grimace that wanted to spread across his face. Instead he shifted in his spot as the story about what had this young wolf in the dumps began to trickle out. I met this uh, wolf, somewhere east. Didn't everything start with another wolf? Some stranger that you just happened to meet along your path? It seemed like whatever this encounter had been it was anything but pleasant if the wince meant anything.

I - they - I dunno. They treated me as if there was something, uh, wrong with me. Solas tipped his head to the side as he once more eyed the other's pale form. I don't see anything wrong with you. He interjected quietly before falling silent again. He had everything where it should be there was nothing physically wrong with the kid that Solas could see. Maybe it had something to do with the kid's head, but Solas doubted that upon meeting a stranger you would immediately be able to tell something like that. They asked a lot of questions, and I guess - I guess I answered 'em wrong. A brow was raised at this remark. They were asking the kid questions while acting like he had a disease. Holding his tongue proved difficult but he managed to make it through to were the kid tapered off.

First off what kind of questions were they asking you? The subject might have been what was annoying them. You didn't do anything to drastically tick them off did you? If you didn't I don't see how they could hate you so quick Solas responded trying to reassure the kid. Whoever these wolves were they sounded rather rude and Solas could feel his annoyance at them grow. He tried to keep that emotion hidden from the younger wolf, not wanting for him to pick it up and think it was directed at him.


RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Cottongrass - Dec 20, 2016

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While he didn't get a moment to acknowledge their comment, it wouldn't go by unforgotten. Because they - they didn't see anything wrong with him. And maybe it didn't mean all that much, but he couldn't help the brief smile the lit up his face. Even if it disappeared behind a deep frown moments later.


"They asked me if I was alright, and if I needed help." He started off slowly, puzzling the pieces together because he was going to do this right. "Then they started to ask if I was traveling with anyone, where they were, and what we were all doing." His frown deepened the more he thought about it. Because somehow everything would be flipped back onto him the moment he said the next part. There was a brief thought where he considered leaving it out, pretending it was all in his head and he was being a big baby. But he wanted someone else to know. He didn't want it to be all in the air, an ambiguous mess of feelings that hurt him when he thought about what had happened.


"I don't think so." The words came carefully from his mouth, unsure and oh so terrified of what the other wolf might say. Because he didn't think he did anything drastic to annoy Rigel. Or maybe he did, he didn't know anymore. "I answered all of the questions they asked me. but it felt like they were trying to poke around in my head for something."


He tried to give Rigel the right answers, he really did. But without any clues and just cloudy words to go off of - he didn't think he did too good of a job. So he told the stranger that.


"I tried to give them the right answers they wanted, but I don't - I don't think I had the ones they wanted from me." He wondered if this stranger could imagine the anguish he felt. Hitting and missing in the dark, unable to find the right words that would just fix everything. Except it all just seemed to do the opposite of what he wanted his words to do.


"I dunno. I offered to leave a bunch, but they kept saying I should sit down with them and rest in their den. Or have something to eat. It's like they thought I was gonna somehow be dangerous to them, or myself, or others." His jaw struggled to work for his next sentence. "It's like they could barely stand me so I tried to leave, but they wanted me to - they wanted me to stay around." Everything there felt like one great big humbuggery1.




1+5 for WoTD.


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RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Solas - Dec 20, 2016

@Cottongrass

The kid went on to explain that they had been asking him if he was alone and what was going on with them. Solas felt a sliver of guilt slither down his spine. He might have done the exact same thing if he hadn't seen the pale wolf do a nose dive. Granted instead of going up and talking to him the dark male had simply started to follow him. Either way he hadn't wanted to be ambushed and seeing as he still hadn't been then the younger wolf was indeed alone or lost. Solas hoped that he wasn't lost he didn't want to have to take the time to get the kid to his family who might be in the opposite direction of Solas's goal. No he definitely hoped the kid wasn't lost.

Deliberately biting his tongue to keep himself silent he waited for the kid to finish. No need to interrupt him and make the story take longer. It seemed like it was long enough already. Yet it sounded like a rather short one if you go around the fact that it was being pulled apart. Simply put the kid found a group of strangers who interrogated him and then tried to keep them with them against the kid's will. It sounds like they were trying to keep you for some purpose. The questions were likely to make sure you were alone so they could do so without interference. There were of course other things that they could have been trying to do but the only other one would mean that they were a pack that was trying to get more members. Did they happen to belong to a pack that was short on members? Or a group that was trying to get a pack started? That could be why they tried to get you to stay. Solas responded with a shrug. If all they wanted was to have another body then anyone would do and if the kid had just happened to fall into their laps...

Did they happen to introduce themselves to you? It was a question more for Solas's benefit so that he could keep a careful eye on the wolves that held the names of the strangers the kid had met. Which also brought up the fact that they hadn't introduced themselves to each other either. There was a time for that though and it seemed to Solas that it wasn't quite that time yet.


RE: Trying to Keep Saying I Feel Okay - Cottongrass - Dec 20, 2016

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All of his thoughts stuttered to a halt. Because he - he never thought about that before! Even if there was doubt wiggling about in the back of his mind, whispering that Rigel said he was traveling with a friend. And a friend didn't mean more than one, or so Cottongrass had always thought. There was also the fact that Rigel only brought up Maera, and how she was always nearby. That didn't sound like a pack, but it might've been one looking to start. His tail thumped and he sat up straighter.


"I never thought of that." He admitted, honestly. And there was a whole lot of doubt that didn't let him believe in that line of thinking, but what did he know. Besides - his heart and brain always took the easy way out of things. Like when hunting prey that was faster than him, the kind that was twitchy and paranoid. Instead of waiting he always preferred to just trample forward and hope for the best. (And maybe that's why his parents didn't take him on pack hunts that much...)


As much as the idea of ever meeting Rigel again unnerved him, he had to admit that the idea of it was starting to look less grim. Because if it was one great big misunderstanding - that was something he could deal with. He liked the idea of setting things right, all civil and adult-like. His crisis was averted! If he ever bumped into Rigel, he'd have to ask and maybe then everything wouldn't make him feel so guilty about that day. He smiled, jaws falling open and tongue lolling out.


"Rigel." He chirped, giving himself a quick nod. "Their name was Rigel." And without missing a beat - he went ahead and introduced himself. "And my name's Cottongrass." He gave the larger male an almost expectant stare, because friends knew each others names. The good friends, at least.



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