OOC: -patpats-

Trying to figure out where she was going was not only painful, but embarrassing. Then again - what was more embarrassing than her past actions? A puff of air sighed from between scarred lips, the wound over her right eye that caused the sight of the once bright amber orb to dim was still bleeding slightly.. A fresh, but garrish reminder of just how much of a disgrace she was.. The left eye was still the vibrant amber that had once inhabited both sides of her face, and it was constantly searching for obstacles. Snow white fur hung over her thinned form - having left once again had left the large beast skinnier than she would have liked - but not as ill as she'd once been. Her head hung low between her shoulders, the oddly plumed tail sweeping the ground, picking up debris in the already hopeless snarls and mats. She lumbered up the hill, her legs at least working as they should have..but her path of travel put Borden in her blind right side - completely missing the reclined form.

Vlarindara froze at the sound of a voice coming from her right and threw herself to the left, what remained of her left ear curling towards the source of the sound - her tattered right doing the same. Lips curled to reveal her teeth in warning as she tilted her head, looking first where she'd expect a wolf to be standing, then looking down. The vertigo of being blind on one side made her shift her stance even more - her head tilting so she was predominantly looking at him with her left. She gave a critical look to the ragged form before shock registered on her features and she threw herself backwards, her tail curling so tightly beneath her belly it seemed to dissapear. Shit! He was going to send her away to - it was bad to come here. The white female managed to backpedal a few steps, cowering low enough to the ground that her stomach brushed the grass. Ears folded down over her skull and her eyes squeezed shut - tight enough that the right one began bleeding again as the clots were dislodged. "I...sorry to have disturbed your rest..I'll go..." A thick thread of fear had crept into her voice - sure that Borden would also do the same as the other wolf she'd encountered. Why wouldn't he?

The white female stayed frozen, right where she was, fully expecting to hear the rustling of grass as the alpha got to his feet and charged her.. but instead, she heard a quiet plea. When he asked if he knew her, the large wolf swallowed hard and forced herself to stay still. But, she did move, though only enough so that he might see the scar over her shoulderblades- a wound that was well healed... but even more obvious in her malnourished state. "...Perhaps it....it's better if you don't..remember who I am.." Her voice was quiet, and she kept her head down, trying to appear as small as possible. "Just.. a nameless being fading into the mists of time..." Vlarindara shifted, taking a half scuttling step towards the base of the hill. "I'm sorry...for all I've done to you.. and to your family." She had to get the last apology in - why? Because she had every intention of bolting down the hill... but...seeing him so weak kindled a flame in her breast she thought extinguished since the attack by the Grizzly Hollow wolf. "Y...you should eat, Borden.."

Vlarindara felt a course of pain lance through her breast at the mention of the pup - one of the six she had abandoned... Where he sat up - she crouched lower, knowing that now - almost laying on the ground if he attacked, she wouldn't get away before his jaws landed. "The...last time I saw your son...was when I left Grizzly Hollow.." She whined, and probably could have cried had she had tear ducts to do it. "If you...are searching for him - then he must be missing...where...I should have done my job...to protect your family." She dared to open her eyes, focusing her remaining orb on his form. Hearing that Prosper was missing tugged at her heartstrings - something she direly wanted to help.. but had been shown without a shadow of a doubt that she was not welcome to do so.. It hurt her.. to see how terrible a shape Borden was in... and she wanted to help - but what could she do now? Being completely blind in one eye..and having been given a very *FIRM* exile..

She looked up at him before turning her head to the side and forcing herself to her feet, feeling it...best that he doesn't remember. To live in blissful ignorance.. "I...shouldn't be here, Borden.." Vlarindara turned, taking a careful step down the hill. "Jaysyek.. she misses you - as does your pack.. you should head home..Go back to be with your mate.." The scarred female dropped her head lower and took another step down the hill - having to tilt her head at an awkward angle so she could see what was in front of her.. Getting used to only having half of her vision was going to take some time. Three steps away and she stopped, something telling her that if she just..slunk away - she'd never forgive herself. Quietly, the female shifted, glancing back at him, her ears folded against her neck. "If you don't..remember me - perhaps.. the importance I once felt was simply imagination...but..no -Pangur..was with Aisling... Another I failed to protect.." Her nose lowered until it brushed the grass, turning away again and taking a slow, methodical step away. "Vlarindara..is the name you're searching for.. Disgrace to the canine species." Her words were muffled, but she was almost afraid to turn back - to look at him. To stop trying to get down the hill. Why? Because she didn't want to see what was written on his face.