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+---- Thread: Frog Chirp Creek only need the light when it's burning low (/showthread.php?tid=13512)
only need the light when it's burning low - Pip - Dec 29, 2016
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Back in Bella Coola, Pip had often been alone. It was as much through choice as it was through encouragement by her less friendly packmates. But since joining the ranks of Grizzly Hollow, the mute girl had grown used to being surrounded by her loved ones and found she depended heavily on them in day to day life. It wasn't that she needed help keeping herself fed - she was turning into quite a skilled hunter - but their presence brightened her mood significantly.
However, even surrounding herself with pack could do little to stymie the ache of grief that threatened to drown her heart. The abandonment of her siblings and Tyne was the worst sort of betrayal. Nauja's initial departure had not come as a surprise to the tawny female, but she never would have expected Niq'x and Blitz to leave without even saying goodbye. And Tyne had always been so plain to read. She just hadn't seen it coming. Was it because she'd purposely blinded herself to their wants? She knew they all yearned for the ocean. For the sand between their paw pads and the sea spray in their faces. Had it been selfish of her to have no inclination to find their birth home again as they so clearly wanted?
The budding hunter trudged toward familiar ground where she was more likely to find solitude. Having discovered Frog Chirp Creek along with Tomen, she liked to think of it as something of a private place, but knew better than that. Many had come to visit the bubbling creek since then. She knew not to expect the croaks and chirps of frogs with the freezing weather, but still found herself saddened further by their absence. Their amphibian calls always seemed to brighten her.
Dejected, Pip padded through the few inches of snow to approach the widest part of the creek for a drink only to find it almost completely frozen over. Not only that, but the nearly black surface of the ice was overlaid with strange formations the likes of which she'd never seen before. They almost looked like lily pads. That brought the first hint of a smile since her siblings left; fitting to have lily pad ice here. She mused that it was as if winter wanted to acknowledge the frog's sleep and send the rest of the world a reminder that they would return.
Pawing at a thin bit of ice close to shore, she quenched her thirst before heading over to a large snow drift against a large oak's trunk. The mute dug out a hole in the snow and curled into a ball, her tail flopping over her face to protect her nose. Guilt swamped her even as she did so. There were so many other things she could be doing to benefit the pack instead of wallowing in self-pity. Still, she had no inclination to do any of those things. For a while, she promised herself. Just a while, she would let herself grieve in peace.
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Tomen - Jan 06, 2017
Wallowing in self-pity was a pastime that Tomen knew very well, even if he didn't indulge in it himself much any more. Wrestling with abandonment seemed to be something that was familiar to far too many wolves close to Tomen, including himself. Maybe it was just something built-in to so many of them, that kind of detachment combined with wanderlust combined with a fear of failure, maybe? When Tomen thought about his father, it was no longer with the kind of vitriolic anger which had once consumed him, because he could not see Rook as malicious. Gentle and meek and soft, his father was hardly the heartless type... it was rather the opposite; he had too much heart, and maybe he couldn't deal with it. Pulled in all directions, unable to commit to any one responsibility, the last Tomen knew he was out in the Reach with his aunt and her new children.
At least @Felix, @Ophelia and @Joan had their real father, a wolf of integrity and loyalty, a wolf who knew what it meant to make and keep promises.
Poor Pip, though. Tomen had tried, had spent most of his time outside of the pack searching for clues, but even that had dried up a while ago. Trails could only get so cold before they vanished, and as much as it pained him to simply give up... it was clear that Pip long had.
He found her near to Frog Chirp Creek, and the memory of how they had named it together made him smile, just like it did every single time he came by this way. She had curled up against an old oak tree, and he couldn't tell if she was asleep or not, nor if she wanted privacy. Initially, he gave her a wide berth, leaving her to rest as he approached the creek in search of a drink - only to make the same discovery as his friend, including a bemused blink at the lilypad ice formations. Spotting the break in the ice where someone else had taken a drink - quite possibly Pip herself - Tomen dipped his head to it, taking note - not for the first time - how strange it was for this place to be so silent.
Licking the cold moisture from his lips as he lifted his head again, he glanced back in Pip's direction, but she was hidden from view by the tree she sheltered under. A thought occurred, a silly thought, but his tail wagged in subconscious enjoyment of it before he could simply dismiss it.
Crossing his eyes to stare at his nose (because that seemed like an appropriate thing to do to get into frog-mode), he gave his best croak, trying to emulate the soft, deep voices of the amphibians which normally lived here. It felt weird in his throat, but wasn't too far off, so, encouraged, he tried again, tweaking the tightness of his throat and position of his tongue to produce a far more accurate rendition.
Of course, it still sounded exactly like you'd expect a wolf croaking to sound like, but he was pleased, and stopped, tail waving with subdued eagerness behind him, waiting to see if she was awake enough to hear it.
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Pip - Jan 07, 2017
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The small wolf had indeed fallen asleep, though she'd not readily admit to herself that some tears had been shed as well. It was far easier to lie to herself when no one else was around to make her feel guilty about it. Not that they would know either way, but Pip held herself to an odd moral compass when it suited her.
She did not wake with grogginess. Instead, Pip jolted awake at the odd sound, russet ears ramrod straight and orange eyes wide. When she spotted @Tomen crouched nearby giving his very best impression of a toad, the mute immediately shook with silent laughter that would have been bubbling out had she the voice to do so out loud. Her gaze was soft and held the warmth that had been absent for quite some time. That he went through the effort of trying to cheer her up brightened her mood significantly.
Pip hadn't realized how long it had been since her heart laughed in such a way. It was cathartic and healing.
Unfurling her tail from around herself, the little sea wolf padded over to him and touched her nose to his, tail wagging in long sweeping motions. Tomen was the kindest. Of all the pack, she knew him to be the most gentle and nurturing. Even more so than Veho, in her opinion, but their Alpha had so many other responsibilities that she could never hold it against him.
She longed to croak with him. As silly as it was, Pip wished more so than ever that she had a voice that could do more than just squeak. In the silent way only Pip had, she set her forehead against his and took a steadying breath. While her grief was very much still present, it was lesser with him there.
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Tomen - Jan 07, 2017
Even if his ears couldn't detect it, Tomen heard her laughter loud and clear. Tail raising to wag happily behind him, his tongue fell out his snout as he grinned at her appreciation of his silliness. The closer she got, though, the more obvious it became that his game was only a distraction for something less merry on her mind.
Mood softening a little as she pressed her forehead to his, Tomen pushed gently back, as if he could communicate his affection through pressure alone. He thought back to when he'd been at his worst, how he must have seemed to those around him, such a miserable and sullen bastard... even in the depths of her own crisis, Pip still managed to make the sun shine. She was just a better person than he was. Stronger. Desperate to ask what was wrong, to show that he wanted to help in anyway he could, Tomen let the silence linger between them as they stood there in their serene embrace. She wouldn't have been able to really answer, anyway, or not in any complex fashion. Not that it had ever stood in the way of their friendship; she made it very easy to read her thoughts, and he liked to think he'd gotten pretty good at it.
How best to ask if she was okay without dragging the mood down? Tail starting to twitch again, to fight off any falling moods, he smiled, staring at her nose as he refused to break their touch.
"Rrrrrooak?" he asked softly, now master of the frog talk.
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Pip - Jan 08, 2017
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The pressure of @Tomen's head against her own was a welcome one, causing her tail to swish behind her. As the moment stretched on, she felt the brief happiness slip away, giving rise to the nagging sadness that had been hounding her since her siblings' departure. Her eyes fell down as if to hide from any searching gaze. They rose once more when he made the funny croaking sound. Her eyes closed as she shook again with laughter, tail wagging. Only this time, tears came from between clenched eyelids and her rump fell until she was sitting on her tail.
She wasn't okay. She missed them. More than she could even describe to herself. So Pip answered in the only way she could by baring her emotions fully to her friend.
Shaking from laughter melted seamlessly into shaking from silent sobs. Her breath hitched in and out unevenly as if she couldn't quite catch her air. Not since joining the Hollow had Pip ever had cause to cry so miserably. Of all the wolves that had done her harm in her life, she never would have thought it would be Blitz and Niq'x who would shred so thoroughly through her heart.
She'd been holding them back. She knew it. They'd wanted to leave and take her from the very beginning, but she'd tried so hard to get them to see why this place was so amazing. Why the pack was so wonderful. They'd been blind to it, lusting for sand and sea and, while she missed the waves and the gulls and the storms, Bella Coola didn't hold for her what it had for them. She understood that.
But they hadn't even said goodbye! They hadn't said goodbye and they should have known how much that would hurt! They should have said something! Anything! She would have cried, yes, but it wouldn't have been like this. She would have understood.
Pip slipped down to the ground until she lay brokenly at Tomen's paws and wept. She was sorry. Sorry to unload on him when there really was nothing to do about it. But it was nice to have him there all the same to comfort her and help bring her back from the brink. Just a while longer, she promised herself. That was all she would allow before it was time to buck up and get over it.
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Tomen - Jan 09, 2017
His simple question was rewarded with a simple answer, and it only further cemented his privately-held belief that words were not fundamentally necessary for meaningful conversation. What was ambiguous about the way her silent laughter turned to sobs? What was ambiguous about the look on her face when Yvly had mentioned her family had gone missing? What was ambiguous about the way her trail had criss-crossed through the cedarwoods in a clearly frantic and determined search?
Pip Mizuno was not a complicated creature, and she quite deliberately wore her heart on her sleeve.
He had no herbs to fix her wounds or words to quell her hurting, so all Tomen could do was stand there and try to tell her just as wordlessly that he wanted to be there for her. When she fell to the ground in anguish, he stepped to be beside her and followed suit, pressing his flank against hers, his cheek into her neck, and pushed a dark paw forward in the snow to rest right beside her own.
Continuing to play the silly frog game felt childish and dismissive of her feelings, but it was the only thing he could think to do other than be silent and there for her. If that's what she wanted then he had faith that she would be able to communicate it just fine.
"Rroack," he mumbled sadly, understanding of her loss, for he felt his own loneliness just as keenly. While surrounded by friends and family, and suffering very different circumstances, both of them had ultimately been abandoned in this place by those who were supposed to love them the most.
Re: - Spirit of Wildwood - Jan 09, 2017
There is a deer that was killed by a lynx nearby. +10 Health
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Pip - Jan 09, 2017
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@Tomen, Pip decided, had the kindest soul of any wolf she'd ever met. Not once had he expressed harsh judgement towards her in all her time here in the Hollow. He took the effort to have conversations with her, whether it be him talking and interpreting or him expressing himself just as silently.
As he lay beside her, she took every bit of comfort from his presence and leaned against him fully as she once would have with her big brother and sassy, darling sister. But they were gone and Tomen was here. She had a feeling he would always be here. And if he could, with his hurts and his confusions, then so could she. He found that strength within himself, so she had to as well.
Pip licked at his muzzle, offering sweet kisses as thanks for staying with her. For understanding. For croaking like a silly frog to make her smile. For being a constant. Because that was something she'd taken for granted the very moment her siblings found Grizzly Hollow. She'd assumed they would stay, they would always be around, because she had no intention of leaving. She thought they could make a family here and be happy. She was mistaken. And while she knew that wasn't the cause of the worst of her hurt, it played a part. Maybe she'd overestimated her value.
They lay there together like that for quite some time until finally, Pip swiped a paw over her eyes and stood with a watery smile. She managed to wag her tail, encouraging her friend to do the same. She would find him something to eat as thanks for staying with her. Nudging him gently, she turned and tossed her nose up into the air to catch any nearby scents. Instead of finding a rabbit's trail as she expected, Pip caught the scent of carrion. Smiling to him, she paced in the direction of the scent. It may not be the most glamorous, but it promised to be a feast.
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Tomen - Jan 16, 2017
Whatever it was he'd said in froggish, he was rewarded with gentle kisses, so it must have been something right. He wrinkled his snout and giggled quietly in the back of his throat at her overt affection, but did nothing to fight it off, and when she fell still and quiet he did the same. The world was so cold and silent that he often liked to just sit and be one with it, to think, and to be able to do so in such pleasant company was a treat.
He hoped that his presence brought Pip a similar kind of peace that her presence brought him, but he knew, if he asked, there was a good chance she would just give the answer she thought he wanted. The sweet little mute existed to create joy and goodwill, which was partly why seeing her so downtrodden tugged at his heart so badly.
Content, it was only when she moved and touched him did he pull out of his thoughts, blinking the blur out of his eyes as he turned to look at her. She seemed better, calmer, but maybe that was wishful thinking. Either way, it was quickly clear that she had business on the mind, and the scent of something dead wafted by his nose only moments after she had risen and begun to move in its direction. Obligingly he stood and trotted after her, wanting to remain like this, quiet and simple and say nothing if not in croaks, but... but his mind had drifted to one of its familiar locations during their time laid beside each other, and considering what had caused her to hurt, his desire to be honest fought viciously with his desire to make the little sea-wolf happy.
But she wouldn't be happy if, one day, she realised the lie, would she?
"Hey," he started, then hesitated, head lowering to dangle his nose to the ground even though the smell of deer was strong enough without it. "You know... you know Nineva is gonna leave someday, probably before next winter, to, uh, to rebuild Whisper Caverns?" It was hardly a pack secret, considering that @Veho was training her, but it felt necessary to get that established, because the next part was the hard bit. The hardest bit of all. "I'm... um. I'm thinking of going with her."
That was a lie; he had already decided it, long ago. But he couldn't just say that, not when she was already hurting from the abandonment of her siblings... great timing, he thought angrily to himself, unable to meet her eyes for the anger and disappointment he would inevitably find there.
RE: only need the light when it's burning low - Pip - Jan 17, 2017
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Pip paused and turned back as @Tomen pulled her attention. Though distracted as she was by the scent of carrion, the mute couldn't help the nagging feeling that she wouldn't care for what he was about to say. Immediately, the agouti female shut down any thoughts that demanded to be processed. No. She could not handle them. Not now. Best to let him work through the hesitation on his own than put words into his mouth with her concerns.
Tomen didn't have to finish for Pip to know where he was going with it. She supposed it was better than she expected; she'd been bracing for him to say he was leaving immediately. At least there was still time. At least he was telling her.
There was no invite for her to come along with. Pip was far from offended. It meant her loyalties were clear. While she was coming to enjoy Nineva's company - one she used to be far more hesitant and nervous around - her loyalty would remain to @Veho. He was steadfast. A constant in a pack ever changing. While the female ranks may rise and fall with the season, Pip had noticed the male to be ever present and someone to rely on in any matter.
The little mute smiled kindly, though her orange eyes could not hide the sorrow. She would miss him when he left. He was a good friend. She wanted to tell him that he had to visit a lot. But she determined if he did not, then she would go see him. It would be harder - she could hardly stand at a pack's boundaries and call out. Regardless, Pip knew she would find a way. Tomen was too good a friend to let go.
Wanting to reassure him, she padded back to where he stood looking so miserable and torn to offer another gentle kiss to his cheek. It would be alright in the end. Hoping to convey that in her gaze, she held his long enough so that he may be certain she held no anger or disappointment towards him for the decision. Only comfort. Only well wishes. Only love and friendship.
Shaking her head a little as if tossing away the fallen mood, Pip turned again in search for their meal. Maybe they could drag some back for the pack... She hoped to earn Ophelia's favor by perhaps offering a gift.