Hearthwood River i made a little prison

She… couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d managed to sleep longer than an hour or two but she felt like a decrepit zombie in senectitude rather than the wolf she was supposed to be – the huntress looking out and making sure that the pack was fed through the winter… and she looked the part too. Her fur was far from kept – she hadn’t felt bothered with it nor had she had the energy to do so. It was sad, and she had finally found the will to push herself up and seek help rather than let it continue on… generally she was too stubborn.

This was different. She didn’t know how it crept up on her, or why… it’d been so long ago. But she couldn’t get the vivid images out of her mind; it still felt like it’d happened just the day before, and she’d awoken this time with a jerk and a pained yelp despite having no physical injuries. She was use to taking her sleep elsewhere, particularly after they started to get bad. She was almost certain no one had noticed, or if they had, they hadn’t said anything to her about it.

It was then, in the middle of the night, she went looking for Lachesis… she probably should have waited until morning, but if he could fix it, and fast, then maybe she could get some sleep so she could be of actual use. She felt like she was failing. At least when she was a lone wolf, and on the run from the demons she thought were following her, she was distracted… now? Now she didn’t have that distraction to keep her mind off of what was truly bothering her. "Lachesis? Are you up?"

Like @Lilya, the ghost had his own problems with sleep. Since he had left the Reserve, many many months ago, sleep did not come to him as easily. At first it had been due to the strangeness of his new surroundings, and the uncertainty of the new world he had been thrown into. Then, it had become a habit—even after joining a pack. Sleeping during the day, or early morning, had become the norm for XIX. He used the night to look for plants and patrol the borders. While his bleached fur made it impossible for him to blend into his dark surroundings, he felt at ease amongst the stars and the moonlight. It was as though he had the world to himself, for most creatures were fast asleep when Lachesis was out prowling.

Tonight, however, Lachesis lay awake in his infirmary. His back was pressed firmly to the ground as his legs were suspended above him, a scowl etched across his pale maw as he studied the dirt ceiling above him. He was trying to decide whether to force himself into slumber or stretch his legs when he heard a voice from the mouth of his den. His brows furrowed in confusion as he rolled to his side. He woofed a response, inviting the blue-eyed girl inside. What was she doing up at this hour? Something was off about her tone, which immediately worried the ghost. Had something happened while he had been off in space, staring at the dirt walls of his infirmary?

Lilya honestly hoped she wasn’t being a bother, and that she hadn’t woken him… perhaps she should turn back and just talk to him in the morning? The woof in response made it clear that the last minute thought was no longer an option as the icy eyed woman made her way into the infirmary, hesitantly. He’d been there for her, as a friend, even from the time they’d first met. He’d offered her a home that she’d turned down originally… but when she changed her mind? He took her in, and she felt like she could trust him. That was a reassuring thing to have, for once in her life.

She looked outright nervous, and given the fact that she didn’t really talk about herself, or more of, where she came from. He knew the basics, enough to know why she was so fucked up, or at least, why she’d felt like she wasn’t worthy of a pack. She wasn’t even sure he’d remember their first conversation. It’d been months ago and at the time, she hadn’t been his packmate, just a loner with no real purpose. “Ah… uh… ah’ve been havin’ these real bad nightmares… and ah…” She wasn’t even sure she could think straight let alone talk straight.

She was sure it showed, a shaky tone and a nervous waving of her tail as her paw scraped at the ground. “Ah can’t take it no more.” She should explain before he thought she was going completely off the deep end. “Ah can’t ‘member th’last time Ah slept.”

Her worried scent consumed him as she accepted his invite, causing his frown to deepen considerably. What was causing the agouti so much strife? Lazily, the ghost pushed himself into a sitting position once she came into view. Her disheveled appearance concerned him—what was causing his friend so much grief? His lips tightened over his teeth as she spoke, breaking the heavy silence around them. Nightmares? His ears were pinned forward as curiosity clawed furiously at his throat, questions hesitating on the tip of his tongue. XIX kept his voice to himself until @Lilya was finished speaking, as he did not want to interrupt. Clearly these nightmares had gotten worse or else she would not have sought out his help…

It pained the pale leader to see his friend in such turmoil. Perhaps the stress of leadership had caused her nightmares to grow worse…

Blinking away his thoughts, Lachesis turned to his inventory, scouring the mixture of dried and fresh plants for something to help the blue-eyed agouti. He shuffled forward, plucking a few items, and mentally thanking himself (and Atropos) for doing such a good job at keeping his inventory levels high. He pushed two separate piles toward the sparrow, his features smooth as he began to explain what it was that he was giving her: “Yarrow for the restlessness and solomon’s seal for the insomnia.” He nudged a few berries towards her, as well, a small smile unfolding across his lips. “And a few juniper berries to mask the taste.” Another pause, this time his brows narrowing as concern reared it's ugly head once more. “Do you know what’s causing the nightmares?" Word vomit. Lachesis hated being nosey, for he was also a private wolf, but the words rolled off his tongue before he could stop them.

She was shifting on her paws… she knew that she was standoffish at times, that it was because of what she’d seen and while she made it through it each time she found herself acting that way, she’d never sought out help for it. Perhaps she should have, a lot time ago. Perhaps she should have told her parents the truth rather than letting them continue to believe that Lia had run off in the middle of the night. Maybe, just maybe, she could have done something to make things better, or at least convince her family to leave, and to stop fighting. Part of her also knew it would have been futile.

She sniffed the piles as he set them down and explained what each thing was and what they were for… she wasn’t sure anything might have prepared her properly for that last question though. Hesitantly she nodded. “They’ve been gettin’ worse since Ruenna found me… bumped into her shortly before ah came ‘ere… she’s the one tha’ told me they weren’t after me no more…” She was just dancing around it now, not meeting his eyes. “They all died… each of ‘em killed… I just…” She took a deep breathe. She needed to talk to it but she also felt like she didn’t need to burden anyone else with the truths and horrors she faced. “Brought back memories o’ th’war that’ve been keepin’ me up more n’ more.”

Truthfully Lachesis had not expected her to open up. It was none of his business what the reason behind her nightmares was—he was just sticking his nose where it did not belong. He remained quiet as she explained that her past was coming back to haunt her; plaguing her with unwanted memories behind closed eyelids. A frown creased his lips as his ears twitched, his mouth suddenly dry as he searched his thoughts for something, anything to say in response. “You’re safe here, Lil,” he started, his chartreuse gaze softening as he studied his agouti friend. “I told you we would fight for you—even your personal demons.” He offered a small smile as he nudged the plants toward her, encouraging her to take the medicine. Doctor’s orders.

“Was there a lot of war where you came from?” He pried further, his head falling to the side, his curiosity hungry for more information. She had been part of the river pack for nearly half a year and Lachesis felt as though he barely knew the blue-eyed sparrow. And he wanted to know her; they were friends, after all. “I’m sorry, Lil, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he mumbled as he settled into the dirt once more, his legs folding neatly beneath him. Sleep had been what the sparrow was after, not a therapy session…

She wasn’t quite expecting the response she got. She expected some awkward apology, like she would have gotten from most people… instead he assured her that she was safe, something he’d iterated before, and she let a soft yet melancholy smile onto her features for it. She still felt she didn’t deserve them. All of them, they all had their flaws, but every wolf did and it was nothing out of the ordinary… well, apart from Kjors and Karina. He nudged them towards her, and it was then that she took the plants, lapping them up, a small cringe at the taste though the berries helped her get them down. He asked her another question once she’d finished, and she didn’t blame him. She hadn’t exactly talked about herself – no one knew where she came from and what they did know about her was vague.

Then, he apologized for the question and she shook her head. “Ya don’t have ta ‘pologize… s’alright.” She insisted softly, finding herself sitting down. He wanted to know. She needed to tell someone. “S’all I’ve ever known… Ah was born into it, raised ta fight…” She let out a soft sigh, looking at her paws. “Ma parents were too stubb’rn ta give in ta a pack that was just playin’ games… they had th’wolves ta crush us, but they didn’t… they just played with th’hope ma parents had… they ambushed ma sister n’ I… took ‘er down right in front of me... killed ‘er, right in front of me, tore 'er apart… and it was ma fault.” Her voice cracked towards the end.

She just hoped she wasn’t making this awkward, but she figured maybe talking about it would help with the nightmares, in addition to the herbs.

Despite growing up and evolving since his arrival in Relic Lore, the ghost still did not know how to deal with personal situations. He had never been good with confessions or when wolves decided to open up to him. It scared him. He never knew what to say, or how to say it. That had always been Anastasia’s department. She had been the sympathetic one; the logical one. His nose twitched as she spoke, ignoring his dismissal of the subject, and diving head first into her former life.

For the most part, he held his composure. The only thing he couldn’t stop was his eyes from widening, but aside from that his features remained calm. He was absolutely dumbfounded at confession. Who would want to live in war? He did not understand—and he did not want to. XIX was thankful that the blue-eyed sparrow had managed to get away; a life of war was no life at all.

“I’m sorry,” he responded after a pregnant pause, feeling slightly uncomfortable in not knowing what to say. “Her death wasn’t your fault, Lil,” he argued, softly, his ears falling against his skull. It wasn't the right thing to say, but it was something. “It would have been your parents’ fault, not yours,” he added, a frown cutting into his dark lips. Great, blame her parents, he thought bitterly to himself as his frown deepened.

“I am glad you made it out.” And he meant it. Friends did not come easily to the ghost, for he did not trust others so freely. But the sparrow reminded him of Naia and he was thankful for her presence in Hearthwood. He just wished he could help her chase away the demons that plagued her so she could be at peace.

She didn’t look at him the entire time that she was talking, not even when he spoke… her head hung low. She guessed she was afraid to see his reaction. She hadn’t told anyone that, not even her parents or her siblings when they tried to figure out what had shaken the young princess so much… she couldn’t look them in the eyes and tell them that Lia hadn’t run away, that Lilya had instead gotten her killed because they’d been doing something that they weren’t supposed to be doing. None of them would have taken it well… with his pause, she felt awkward, and for a minute she thought the pause meant she should leave.

Then came the apology and she just shook her head some more… she didn’t say anything, as he insisted that it wasn’t her fault, that if anyone was to blame, it was her parents… yeah, maybe they had played a part in it. Maybe it was the secrets that they kept from them that made them both think it was okay to go out, or the fact that they hadn’t thought of their family before their pride… but there was nothing she could do about it now.

He said that he was glad she made it out, and she honestly didn’t know whether or not to believe him. “It was… Ah should go.” She was about to make some comment about how it was her fault… but she think she’d adventured far enough into the sharing territory for both of them for one night. Now, it was time for the awkward retreat to see if the herbs worked. “Sorry if Ah woke yer… and thanks fer th’herbs.” She murmured softly as she started to leave. Why couldn’t she be normal for just one moment?