Grizzly Hollow i'm weak - Printable Version

Apologize. Ophelia knew even before she was told that it was what she should do. And she would have even without the prompting. But that she was told to made her more reluctant and she dragged her paws about it. It couldn't mean as much when the whole pack knew she was being made to do it.

The thing was...Ophelia genuinely was sorry. Pip had been a convenient target. Her weak demeanor was practically an invite for animosity from the frustrated, angry girl. She didn't need Mama coming to shame her about it; in her own time, she would have felt it on her own.

With that time bought, the pale princess had thought long and hard about how to thank her. Since the attack, Pip had been avoiding her. A secret part of Ophelia - a part she wasn't proud of - was pleased that she had any kind of power over an adult member of the pack. But mostly, she just felt bad.

It had taken her the better part of the day to hunt down a suitable gift. Well, hunt was the wrong word.

Her pelt was stiff, frozen from the cold temperatures of the water she'd been wading in. The fish were few, but those around were slow with the low temperatures. Even then, Ophelia had multiple failed attempts at catching. She remembered the mute really liked fish and figured with all the ice lately that it would be difficult for her to find any. Especially with...well, with her injury.

The fish fit oddly in her jaws. It wouldn't hang limply like a rabbit and she had to readjust her grip multiple times as she searched around the den for Pip. The mute saw her coming and Ophelia just knew she was going to make a getaway. Before she could, Ophelia raced over and cut her off, automatically standing tall and firm. With the smaller female's attention now frozen on her, the princess set her prize down and carefully nudged it towards her before stepping back.

"I - I wanted to say I'm sorry. For attacking you. For saying those things. I was mad, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Pip had always been of a lithe, small frame, but now she was slim. Beneath her winter coat, her ribs could be more readily felt, her belly more tucked than it should be. Since that day a pup put her to shame and ripped into her like prey, her appetite had been mediocre at best. She made a good show whenever her packmates were near or watching, but mostly only picked at food brought to her and left the rest in a cache. So much had happened lately that made it relatively easy to fade into the background. Rook's return, Tyne's return. It was all rather handy and allowed her the opportunity to remain in relative solitude.

She had an innate knowledge of when others were seeking her out. A tingling at the back of her neck, that feeling of being watched. While Pip had used it for the opposite before to allow her packmates close and be close with them in turn, she used it now to avoid them. One on one time was fine for short spurts, but she kept clear of gatherings and still adamantly refused to sleep in the den. She'd rather have the cold and quiet plip plip plip of snowfall at night than be trapped in close quarters in the warmth.

The fur at the back of her neck prickled now and she lifted orange eyes to find her gaze caught by pale green. Her gut clenched with katzenjammer and the mute attempted to limp more quickly out of sight. Pip's heart practically leaped into her throat when she heard pawsteps fast behind her.

Another attack?

Rather than incite any more violence, Pip hunkered down, eyes, ears, and tail lowered in submission. As a dead fish was plopped in front of her muzzle, the mute stared in confusion at it. One dead eye stared back at her. She flinched as Ophelia's voice whipped through the silence between them. But rather than a verbal attack, Pip found herself surprised by an apology.

She had no idea how to react. On one paw, she was grateful to the girl for the apology. On the other, it did little to repair the broken trust. Even the fish, while a grand gesture, couldn't keep her shoulder from burning hot, a constant reminder of the event. Uncertain, the mute wavered. Accepting the proud girl's apology was what she should do. But honestly, Pip had no way of doing so without offending or putting herself at risk.

With another, she would meet their gaze, wag her tail, and smile. Maybe even touch her nose to their chin. But Ophelia was a pup. It was not she who should touch her chin. But Pip also couldn't bring herself to meet her gaze, wag her tail, or smile. All of those things felt like a daunting task. And taking the fish without acknowledging her also felt wrong. Miserably, she stood there in her uncertainty, wishing she had the courage to simply nod and walk away.

This was stupid. Of course she wouldn't believe her apology was pure. No doubt she heard everyone ragging on her and demanding she make it right. She would just think Ophelia was doing it because she had to. Not because she meant it. Not because she wanted to. Anger boiled up and the pale princess fought hard to battle it back down to keep furious words from spilling out and causing more harm. It was lucky Pip wouldn't look up to meet her gaze, for a fire blazed there.

Ophelia took a purposeful, deep breath, closing her eyes as she begged for control. It was the hardest thing in the world. No one had ever tried to rein her free spirit in before aside from @Joan and she hardly counted. She was her sister and Ophelia supposed it was Joan's job to be annoying and expect things of her and demand her to obey the rules since she was too afraid to go against them herself.

Nothing. No reaction. Not even a hint of a smile. She'd spent a long time catching that fish!! The least she could do was be grateful! To act like it mattered. To act like there was any point at all to apologizing when forgiveness wouldn't happen.

I'm not sorry, Ophie wanted to snarl, if you're not even going to be nice about it! No, no, no. She had to stay calm. Stay in control. Don't say something stupid. Oh, but it was true. It made her mad all over again. She wanted to snatch that fish right up and storm away with it. If Pip didn't want it, she'd eat it herself!

Instead, she forced herself to wait. Wait patiently. Wait until she said something, did something, reacted! Anything! The princess determined not to move from this spot until she had something more satisfactory to leave on.

Ever sensitive to the moods of her packmates, Pip felt the pup's rising tension. There was no growl or lip curl - not that she was looking - but the mute still knew Ophelia was growing angry and frustrated. There was a tightness in the air. It pervaded their surroundings and the Mizuno swore she could feel it pressing down on her, against her, around her neck in a vice.

Pip inhaled sharply when she realized she was growing dizzy from holding her breath. Approaching pawsteps made her flinch and her muzzle swung around to spot @Nineva standing nearby. At least now assured that she wouldn't be outright attacked again without the pup suffering major consequences, the little wolf let her gaze fleetingly touch upon peridot eyes.

The smile was forced and plainly seen by the faraway haze in her eyes. Once, there was a light that could be found in her orange eyes anytime she looked upon a packmate, but that light was hidden away now and left behind in some forgotten corner of her heart. Quickly, Pip looked away and then found herself trapped again.

Ophelia had plainly offered the fish to her as a gift. Should she take it now? Was it a trap? Nineva wouldn't let anything bad happen... What if she couldn't stop it? What if she wasn't fast enough? Pip wondered if she could stick up for herself and immediately felt belly-sick at the idea. The thought of even eating the fish now left her guts curdled. Ophelia didn't expect that of her, did she? Even before all of this, Pip had always been incredibly shy about eating in front of others. When the pack had taken down that moose in rut and Veho had offered her the first bite for being the first to attack, she had blanched and balked at the idea. It had been well trained into her as a pup that she had no place eating before anyone else. Just because a pup expected it of her did not mean she could change that part of her now.

Making a decision before her poor heart exploded with anxiety, Pip dipped her head to pluck up the fish and limped a safe distance away before setting it down and laying beside it. With eyes on her, she made no attempt to eat it. Her tail swished anxiously behind her over the ground while her eyes focused on something in the distance.

Ophelia's pale green gaze flickered over as Nineva came upon them. Her frustration was bared to her big sister, eyes practically pleading for assistance. Initially, she wanted no one to bear witness to this apology save for Pip. It was private. An issue between the two of them for the two of them alone to resolve. But the longer Ophelia waited, the more she realized just saying sorry wouldn't solve it. But she had no idea what would either.

Seeing Nineva nod with encouragement, Ophelia took another bolstering breath and heard Pip release one of her own. Tan ears pinned forward as if waiting intently to capture a whispered word, momentarily forgetting that the smaller wolf had no voice to speak with. And then there was a smile. Hesitant and fake. Immediately, the pup scowled.

At least act better, she wanted to snap, but was far too aware of Nineva's presence. Her big sister was a great support, but would not support her being unnecessarily cruel to the one she had already injured so heinously.

When the mute plucked up the fish, Ophelia nearly forgot herself and snapped after her tail. The pale princess shook her head forcibly, dispelling the urge before trotting over to greet @Nineva, licking at her muzzle with a gently wagging tail.

"She doesn't like me. I don't blame her." But she did. After all that work, to not be forgiven easily was...unthinkable to the pampered princess. "Did I do good though?" Ophelia asked quietly, frustration gone and concern in its place. She really wanted to do the right thing. She just...wasn't very good at it.

The mute's tail automatically tucked as she limped away, instinctively sensing the pup's desire to snap at the end of it. Settling down a safe distance away, Pip could hear the pair's conversation as Ophelia joined Nineva. Though the pup was clearly trying her hardest, the little sea wolf could hear every accusation in her tense tone. As impressed as Pip was with Ophelia's new control, she wished the pup would suppress her violent urges better.

With a side glance - she dared not watch the exchange so blatantly - Pip saw the gray female greet the growing princess with affection. Nineva was good for her, she observed. Her calm demeanor helped sooth out Ophelia's wildness and rapid temper. And her words carried wisdom. Pip wasn't convinced Ophelia was ready to heed such wisdom, but the more she heard it, the better for her. Trust was the most fragile thing in the world, though the little mute never would have thought it. She had always been so quick to trust those who showed her kindness and rarely had reason to feel let down. But lately, that trust felt as misplaced as she currently felt. First, her own siblings, her own agemate, gone without a word, without goodbye. Then, a pup attacking her for... Well. Pip still wasn't sure what for. And perhaps that was what left her feeling so off. There had been little cause or reason for any of it.

Ophelia was unpredictable. Pip preferred to know her patterns a bit better to avoid enraging her in the future.

The mute felt Nineva's eyes on her and steadily found interest in her paws. Only when she heard the female encourage Ophelia to move away and lead her off did Pip finally bend her head to pick up the fish. She had been feeding herself poorly lately and found she was far hungrier than she initially thought. Once she started, Pip did not stop eating until only bones and scales were left behind.

@Nineva's wise words left Ophelia crestfallen. How much longer would she have to endure this? The pack's youngest princess had become the pack's pariah and she hated it. It was unfair! While Ophelia still selfishly wanted Pip to be in this position rather than herself - an omega was more suited to such a place - she knew her big sister was right. She just wasn't sure she had the patience to survive it all! It ate at her insides that no one seemed to believe her even when she was being earnest and honest. That she wasn't believed made her lash out and act as if she wasn't. Because if no one was going to believe her, why should she put forth such an effort?!

But Nineva believed her. Out of all of them, Nineva was the one to support her each time.

With a sigh, Ophelia nodded. It was a valuable lesson to learn that trust was fragile. Already, she could tell it would be a long road ahead if she was going to win back Pip's along with her parents'. At her big sister's behest, Ophelia followed her away from Pip, looking back in time to see the mute gingerly pluck up the fish and lick at the scales before finally biting in. Hope lifted with that and she wagged her tail a little before turning back.

"I get so mad," the pup admitted. "Everyone treats her like she's a princess and she wasn't even born to the pack like me and Fee and Joannie. They all like her better than me. Even Mama and Daddy and I bet Papa, too. I guess...I'm just jealous. And that makes me even madder."