[dohtml]Obsessed, depressed, at the same time, I can't even walk in a straight line.
I've been lying in the dark. No sunshine. No sunshine. No sunshine...
– Maroon 5; "Just a Feeling"

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Late afternoon. Mostly cloudy – 51º F/11º C

Since Borden Lyall had returned home, he kept to the outskirts of the territory during the afternoon and adopted a patrol route by the time the sun had started to set. When he laid to rest in the still of night, he often found he could not sleep, and instead kept watch over the old bear den several meters away.

On this particular morning, he had seen Elettra and had since intended to stay clear of any members of the pack. She had scolded him and while he failed to curb her anger with a submissive display, complete with a tucked tail and a toothy grin, he was relieved when she finally walked away. With his head hung low and his dark ears folded back, he sulked along the borders of Grizzly Hollow, quiet for once in both heart and mind.

Something scurried in the distance and instead of turning to look where the source of the sound had come from, his gaze instantly looked away. It was probably not a smart thing to do but he feared that Elettra had returned for another round of chiding and blaming. He slowly sat down, shivering as he prepared himself for the shouting and maybe something as harsh as a bite to his scruff. When the culprit turned out to be a hare making its leave, he peeked towards the direction it had taken and continued on his way around the marked borders with a staggered step.

The sun was dwindling in the west, but it was not time for her to sleep. No, instead she had insinsted the pups go to bed without her. She had promised she would return before they woke, and it seemed to be all the convincing they needed....so she would hope. She was anxious to think they might sneek out, to take a quick look upon the wolf she deemed their father. They understood he was back, but she did not know what it meant to them.

None the less she was sticking to her word, and wasn't going to push them into seeing him because she felt that would only further tear the gap between them. But neither would she scold them if she saw them near him, if anything she knew he would try not to let any harm come upon them. It was ultimately their choice to accept him in their life, much like it was hers.

Great notice she knew he was sticking to the edges, away from the heart of the land most times. She with both a sense of relief, and sadness had avoided him since his acceptance back. She was sure Elettra was reminder enough of everything, she had no intention to add to it. Neither did she want to bring herself down again.She continued life in the next days like he was not here ;the custom she had grown use to. In the fading light she walked the lines he had setup to protect them, and it did not take her long to know she was following him.

White jaws set in a hard line, she did not want to continue life like this, but she was scared. What courage she could muster, and telling herself she had nothing to be ashamed of she traced his tracks, until she saw his back turned to her in the dark. "Lo," she bit her tonge before the word could continue, old habits die hard. She could not further speak for a moment, she had wanted to salvo him, but maybe she could not.

Just as he was about to congratulate himself on successfully being evasive of the pack, the beginning of a word caught his attention. He stopped in his tracks and his back arched anxiously as he slowly spun around to see who had followed him. His gaze went to Jaysyek's two-toned eyes before immediately dropping to the ground at his feet after realizing it was her.

"Hello," he called out to her, carefully lowering his rump to the ground as he tucked his tail between his legs. His ears swiveled back against his neck. "C-could I help you with something?" he asked quietly, still keeping his eyes trained on the space in front of him.

This was never what she imagined it would be like if he came home...not him so meek, and mild. Triangle points yielded sideways, hoping he might hold her gaze he did not. A quick sigh couldn't help but part from her lips, it was not a word but so much could have been carried in it. She brushed away the flicker of irritation, knowing it would have no place here.

When he asked if he could help her with something. A lengthy listed appeared in her mind. They were much the same thing. Snap out of it. No, she wouldn't say that no matter how much she didn't like looking at the broken man. What good would that do?"No, I was out here to do something for you."

Borden cringed when she sighed and he waited in anticipation for something harsh to fall from her lips. Great. Now what did he do? His eyes closed briefly, only opening when she said that she was out her to do something for him. For him...

He swallowed, trying hard to think of what had to be done in his stead. He wasn't a leader here anymore and wasn't prominently leaving his own signature atop Jaysyek's and Elettra's markers, so it couldn't have been reenforcing the borders of their territory. In fact, he hadn't recalled Kiche doing so when he had had the run of the place. Instead of patrolling, was he supposed to be hunting? A voice in the back of his head rebuked him. If not hunting or guarding the borders, perhaps it had to be something else. Perhaps she would enlighten him.

"Oh," he merely whispered in reply. Holding his breath and biting back his words, he timidly glanced up to Jaysyek's face. "T-to do s-something f-for me?" He had to admit it to himself, he was somewhat afraid now of the leader Jaysyek had become in his absence; mainly due to the aid and protection Elettra provided her with. He felt if he had missed but one step, Jaysyek and Elettra would make sure he would never miss it again. If fear wasn't enough, he was ultimately ashamed things between them had come to this. Shame, trepidation, and the goal of redeeming himself to the pack he had established guided his every action now along with the deep respect he had acquired for the wolves he considered his family.

This meeting was not quite what their first had been like, and yet it was vaguely familiar to her. In this case it was her with the storm of emotions, brewing deadly beneath her skin, it was her only ready to lash out to let some of it free. But she, unlike Elettra, could not physicaly harm him. She didn't want to, and it was one thing she was not capable of. She was sure the damage on his own soul was already done, and she thought, though it was a small thing, she would try to help him be physicaly healthy.

She might not be the same wolf he had left behind, but she was not entirely different. She cared for him, and it pained her to see the shape he was in. It seemed death could easily take him from her too.

Patiently she waited for him to mill over what she had said -what she was entelling. Though it was nothing bold when his eyes came up it was something. There was no smile, but her words were warm much like they had been. "Yes to help you. I don't want you to go hungry." She could have added because of his already malnourished form, and his limp he greatly needed taking care of. She also had to bite her tongue about the possibility of a lone wolf deciding to test him because of the shape he was in. But if anything she did not want to make him feel any less than he already did so she kept these things to herself. She really did want to help him.

"Borden, please look at me. I'm...." A whine so soft hummed in her throat, finishing her sentence, and her tail nor head was nothing near high or demanding.

She told him that she wanted to help him and that she didn't want him to go hungry. It tugged at his heartstrings a bit, reminding him of the days before his departure... "I'm fine," he mumbled under his breath, deciding that a speckled rock at his feet was suddenly very interesting. He trembled out of nervousness, but he fought hard to keep his quivering at a minimum.

"Borden," she called to his attention. "Please look at me. I'm..." She whined and he obediently looked at her. He was quick to note that her head, while held much higher than his, was not raised dominantly, and her tail was just as relaxed. As much as he wanted to just close the distance between them and let loose everything on his mind, he behaved himself and kept seated. Having been allowed to look upon her face, he observed her, taking in her features while he could. His brows rose and knit together in concern. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but he held the question back, allowing his expression to ask for him. Had something else happened while he was gone? What was the matter?

He was clearly anything, but fine. There was dim glimpse of what once was. He had not lost one thing at least, even if it was only a small bit of sturborness. He had never really liked her helping him, he had to have it the other way. Stubborn fool.

His trembling body was not lost in her eyes. Was she that scary now, he feared her? Did he think she was a ticking time bomb, just waiting to rip into him? He was not the only one who would have to earn trust. She forcefully stifled back the temptation to bite the inside of her cheek, surpressing much more in her own heart.

When he looked to her it was only because she had asked; it was her turn to look away from him. When she dared look up, she caught him almost speaking, his sweet look of worry, and the question he had asked more then once. This was just too hard, there was not much space between them ;it might as well have been a mountain she was trying to claw through. "I...you just need to eat. It's my job..to take care of you."

His ears cupped forward for a brief moment when she spoke but they immediately folded back again. He had been a little hungry, but the squirrel he had outwitted earlier after Elettra's reprimanding had been burnt off by now, the energy spent on walking Grizzly Hollow's borders. He grimaced slightly. "Okay," he yielded, not wanting to press her buttons.

"If you wish, you may," he added, biting his lip as he looked for something else to fix his eyes on."I... I'm quite capable of finding something for myself though. If you'd l-like perhaps I could find a little something for the pups instead?"

Tips of ears twisted so close together. His okay hardley meant okay, because he had to add he was capable of finding something after all. Would it kill him to let her do something for him? He offered instead to get something for the pups. Another layer seemed to peel from her already thinning patience despite how hard she tried to hold onto it. "I forget I'm not suppose to do anything for you am I?"

Muscles bunched at her shoulders, her bones tight, jaws clenched. She twitched the end of her tail. "If you want to feed the pups go for it." They surely could never eat enough, with their rapid growth spurts.