Aleksei had never felt more uncomfortable in his own home. Not even when he had struggled beneath the burden of being the first born heir.

He spent most of his time by Kisla's birthing den. Since the arrival of the litter, Aleksei had felt a constant need to protect and defend his mother and his siblings, but he'd also felt a growing discomfort in his heart, a nagging loathing for everyone else. More unsettling was the fact that he was content to wallow in the festering feelings. He was tired of beating himself black and blue. It was so mentally taxing to blame everyone else's fuck ups on himself.

God, why had he tried to shield Inna from her mother's anger when she had been stupid enough to get knocked up in the first place? Why had he not chased Lorcan from the territory the moment he caught the scent of him? Why did he habour so much guilt over the death of his father, something no wolf of the river could have ever predicted? None of this was Aleksei's fault, so why did he once feel as though it were?

He had laid still for hours, listening to the sounds of his newest siblings mewling and suckling. It had given him time to think and stew. Given him the moment of idle peace he needed to really think things over. On the day he had returned to Hearthwood River, the eldest brother had promised Inna he would not leave again—hell, he had practically sworn an oath … but oaths and laws and promises clearly meant little his black furred sibling. What loyalty did she deserve after abusing the family so carelessly?

Aleksei scoffed and rose to his feet, shaking out his pelt, dislodging dust and—ah. A gentle drizzle was passing through Kingsfall. Perhaps he could take this moment to clear his thoughts, cool his building temper (best not to thrash and grumble to himself with newborns so close by). He didn't mind the rain, and in fact welcomed it. Perhaps it would wash away the grime he felt on his skin.

With a slow walk, he left mother and children to their own peace, tucked away within the earth, warm and full and loved. He thought briefly about how easy it would be to simply keep walking, to the borders and beyond, without a word to anyone. No one spoke to him about pack happenings, so why did they demand he do the same? No, why did they expect? It left a bitter taste in his mouth to consider, and his brows furrowed. He discarded the idea quickly. If he were to leave again, he would say so. He would tell them. He would tell them the truths they certainly would not want to hear.

He hadn’t expected company, hadn’t wanted company, so the fact it came left him feeling a little exasperated. It felt even worse when said wolf came trotting in, happy as a pig in mud. Aytigin was his name, and Aleksei wished he’d take himself and his name and piss off to bother someone in a mood more in tune with his own. Instead, the Baranski just heaved a sigh and gave his name in response. He may be disillusioned with everything, but he still had manners. “Aleksei.”

As Aytigin sought eye contact, the Baranski merely stared at him, expression dead of anything. Well, this was weird. He hoped the male would get the message and excuse himself, but no. No, they just stood there, and stared. “Is there something you actually need, or … ?” Not that Aleksei was busy. No, he was brooding in his personal brain storm, whizzing around and around inside his head and trying to get it to stop. “Because I was going to take a walk and find some food.” He was hungry, now that he thought about it, Lucky for him, knew of a cache not too far from here with dark meat stored within. He knew, because he had been the one who stashed it there, hoping no one else would find it, hidden in one of his favourite territory haunts.

Aleksei had grown tired of nothing but small game, so the idea of venison was now starting to make his mouth wet in apprehension.