Spring had sprung.

Cottongrass was slowly going insane.

And that's what was new among the otherwise quiet lands that made up the northernmost reaches of Relic Lore. Because Askan had gotten hurt but he was okay now, and Cottongrass didn't really understand what else was going on. Everyone else in the pack just kept on doing whatever the heck they usually did. Like they didn't feel a sense of restlessness that only grew worse with each passing day like Cottongrass always did. And seeing how it all started the moment he joined Wild Rye Fields thirty days ago—he was getting pretty restless.

There was nothing for him to do! There was nothing he even wanted to do! And maybe that was his own fault because he was the one that decided to mope and sulk while avoiding everyone else when he first joined the pack. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. He thought he was the smartest wolf ever because he couldn't mess up if he didn't do anything in the first place. Except it just meant he went from going on fun misadventures everyday to doing absolutely nothing and it was getting to him. Hell, it was killing him. It had to have been because Cottongrass had never been so bored in his whole entire life.

He spent the first week or two digging random holes because it seemed fun at the time. It was even how he met Adelayde! But then digging lost its charm and he moved onto his next exciting but ultimately useless hobby. He had called it exploring, even when all he ever really did was pace around pack territory for hours at a time. It was better than doing nothing, though, so he never really stopped his newfound habit of pointless pacing. Everything was fine right until the point it wasn't. Because walking for hours on end? It was boring.

Cottongrass was pretty sure he could navigate pack territory with his eyes closed in his sleep. He didn't actually try it yet because he didn't want some random wolf thinking he actually lost his mind, but he was tempted to. It was a nice day, after all. The sun was warm against his back and the air wasn't too hot. And thus, Cottongrass walked. He dragged his feet and shuffled along the edges of pack territory, following the invisible line that he didn't dare cross for reasons unknown. It wasn't until he reached the forest that made up the south of Wild Rye Fields did he slow down. And without thinking about it he reached out to brush his side along the trunk of one of many trees, shedding pelt making his skin crawl.

Except Cottongrass was Cottongrass.

The tree was farther away than he thought it was and he found himself leaning into empty space. Gravity didn't hesitate to do the rest as he fell, flopping onto his side into the dirt while all the air in his chest left him in a startled wheeze. He didn't bother moving or standing back up. His fate was decided and he had no qualms with it.

He was the ground now.

And it was then it started to rain.

He wasn't on the ground for long. Couldn't have been sprawled out on his side in the mud for more than a few seconds before he heard someone bark and then the thundering thumps of hurried paws. And at first Cottongrass could only brace for impact, fully expecting to get trampled by some beast that lurked just out of sight in the southern forest of Wild Rye Fields. His muscles tensed and his eyes squeezed shut just as the stranger descended upon him. And yep, this was it—

Except things never went how Cottongrass expected them to. As it was then he felt the coarse fur of someone's face pressing into his scruff, a familiar voice blaring in his ear and recognition flashed in the back of his mind. "Reyes!" He chirped, wriggling about until he could see his friend's face proper because that was someone he hadn't really seen in a while. Things seemed hectic. All kinds of hectic around pack territory and maybe it was because Cottongrass sort of forget what day-to-day life was like in packs. But it was still good to see his friend.

Even if he was more than a touch confused.

Because Reyes was Reyes. The emotions of panic and genuine concern weren't exactly befitting to the image Cottongrass always had churning in his head of his friend. But his tail started thumping away on the ground behind him anyway. Any attention he got from Reyes was good attention. So he just blinked away his bewilderment and peered up at the man with what he hoped was a reassuring expression.

"Nothing." He said, and that was the truth when Reyes asked him what was wrong. "I just fell." And really, Cottongrass fell over all the time. Sometimes he even did it on purpose because he was a petulant puppy like that. But maybe his friend didn't realize that or something.

With @Reyes giving him some space, Cottongrass wasted no time in moving himself into a different position. He rolled onto his stomach before pushing himself up onto his rear, now sitting before the other wolf while his tail thumped away against the ground behind him. And briefly he wondered if he left some weird kind of imprint on the ground from when he fell. But before he could think to check his attention was being dragged away.

Because Reyes said you coulda come back with me to the Fields like…any number of times and it was sort of like Cottongrass was suddenly getting sucker punched in the gut with feelings. The sensation only worsened when Reyes kept on talking, asking if he was doin' okay with silver eyes that seemed to study and analyze.

Cottongrass' features immediately scrunched up like he just crunched down on something sour or rotten while his ears twisted back against his head. And he tried to brush by his first reaction, he really did. His first instinct was to even lie. To just blurt out some generic response before doing everything he could to move the conversation along before the truth came out. But—

He couldn't.

Askan was his friend but Reyes was sort of like his best friend, even if it was something he would never admit. The wolf before him had been there for him when he was determined to find Victoria for no good reason. Had let himself get dragged all over the mountainous forests of the far west just because Cottongrass wanted him to. And there were all those times Reyes had endured endless rambling and witnessing first hand all of Cottongrass' eccentricities. So Askan was his advice-giver. The one who said things like do what makes you smile or family is what you make it. His relationship with Reyes was a little different even if he didn't think that hard about it. He licked his lips.

"I don't like it." He admitted quietly, because that was the truth and only the truth. And a part of him whispered ugly things about how he was being ungrateful or rude because there was no reason for him not to like Wild Rye Fields. Except that was how he felt even when he did his best to forget about it all. It was the reason he kept to himself all the way on the fringes of pack territory whenever he could.

It was in that moment he had expected many things. From aggression to frustration — he was ready. More than ready to endure whatever punishment Reyes might have for him because he no doubt deserved it. But there was nothing that could prepare him for what happened next. In place of harsh words with even harsher implications was a gentleness. One that carried acceptance and solidarity that he never would have expected.

He melted into the touch and melted into the words. And the truth was out in the open but it didn't make him feel any better. Not even when Reyes was offering nothing but support that made him crumble around the edges. His ears rolled back against his head and he avoided eye contact while his shoulders furrowed around him.

"Yeah." He mumbled with uncertainty in his voice. Because he understood the man's words. That packs might have been tricky or uncomfortable but offered more than a loner's life ever would. But it didn't make it any easier. Not for him, anyway. And the next question took him by surprise. Pulled him from his stupor even if it was for a mere second.

"It's not that." He spoke. Because Jessie and Drestig might have been intimidating but they were nothing but kind. It was something that seemed to apply to the rest of the pack as well. He hadn't been pressured or pushed and he sort of wished he had. It would have probably made what he was feeling so much easier. But that wasn't the case. "It's just that —"

He didn't know how to word it. If he even should because it felt sort of ridiculous now that everything was out in the open. Askan had said do what makes you smile and family is what you make it. But he didn't know how to make those anything more than helpful words. Maybe he should just spit it.

"'m not good at being in a pack." It was something he had said to the wolf before. Back when they had only first met. And he wondered if he sounded like a broken record. But he couldn't remember if he had said anything else. If he had voiced those worries or even offered the truth in the first place. He could only wait.

There were days when old worries bubbled up and festered. When he felt nothing but hatred at himself and the world because of the hurt he carried on his shoulders. But he had his friends now. There was Askan and Reyes and maybe even the rest of the pack once he got to know them better. And for now he was taking things slow. Maybe painfully slow but he guessed any progress was better than none. Even if he found it difficult to understand at times.

Behind him his tail wagged and a soft smile spread across his features. "You're a good friend." He spoke and there was nothing but blatant adoration in his voice. Because he might have called anyone he met his friend. But there was something about Reyes that was special. Something that made his day brighter and feelings lighter even when he felt horribly lost. He wondered what he ever did to deserve such kindness in his life. How he would ever repay his friends because they did so much for him. But those were worries for another day.

He reached out to bump his forehead into the thick of Reyes' dark fur. "Let's head back." He chirped while shuffling to his feet, fully expecting the older man to lead the way back into the heart of Wild Rye Fields. For once he had enough of hiding on the edge of pack territory. Today he wanted to be near the wolves that meant the most to him.

It was the least he could do.