She didn't want to be Inna Baranski anymore…

The Raven had thought that after Hearthwood had died she could go on as Inna. She was wrong, Inna had died the day she'd been left in the Kingswood. Then she been put to rest in the Ghastly Woods.

Could she be someone different if she changed her name? Could she have a new life where the past didn't matter anymore?

Maybe just that small change would make her feel differently. Being someone else could help her to move on with her life and help her to not feel so stuck all the time.

She didn't want to be that girl who’d lost her parents and broken pack law. The one who had lost everyone she loved because of so many reasons that to think about them just made her head hurt. Most of all she didn't want to be that girl who had fallen in love with Lorcan and have a child with him only to feel like she'd been lied to.

Keeping the weight off her leg as much as possible the Raven moved through the woods until she came upon a promising scent. Following it she realized that there was something under the snow. Carefully she dug into the snow and as she dug deeper the scent became stronger. She realized it was a squirrel. Obviously it wasn't a live but in her current state the Raven couldn't be choosy about her meals. She continued to pull the snow away from what she knew to lay beneath it. Her mind continuing on it's train of thought and in time her decision was made.

She wouldn't be Inna Baranski anymore.

So focused on trying to get the rabbit she'd found out from under the snow Inna had no idea that she was being watched. She'd managed to get a hold of a back leg and was pulling hoping that would release it from it's snowy grave. That however didn't happen as it seemed the rabbit was frozen in it's place. The Raven growled in irritation. It had taken her sometime to find this morsel of food and now it was so close in her grasp and still she couldn't have it.

The ebony work began to dig again still trying to keep her balance on three paws. She was going to have this meal even if she had to work at it all day. It was the first thing she'd found to eat in a while and she couldn't afford to give up on it. Her ear flicked at the crunching sound that reached it but she didn't turn. Her determination keeping her focused on the task as she dug at the hole she'd created in the snow with one paw. It was slow going but she was making some progress.

It wasn't until he spoke that she stopped digging but she didn't turn to face him. She knew who it was, she wouldn't ever forget that voice, his scent. He was calling her by the name she used to go by and she sighed before finally turning around still trying to keep the weight off her hind leg. “You can call me Runi now,” she informed as she sat down on her haunches. It would be much easier to have this conversation. She could hear the concern in his tone but she didn't know that he could believe it after what he'd done. “Hearthwood is dead and no everything isn't okay,” she replied quietly.

She didn't speak again until she'd settled herself in the snow, sometimes it helped to ease some of the throbbing. He seemed rather surprised when she told him to call her Runi. “Inna’s dead Lorcan she has been for awhile. I thought that I could on as her and it was foolish.” she did offer a half smile though, “You mustn’t worry, I haven't gone crazy yet though I imagine it might be an easier existence than this.” She shrugged, she would get through and she would make a life. She just needed her leg to get better.

The healer was equally surprised to hear about Hearthwood and he wanted to know about Oksana. It was Inna’s turn to look surprised, she'd smelled the other wolves on his pelt. Mostly females too, she couldn't imagine that he was that interested in what was going on with their daughter when he was surrounded by females and seemed to be living it up. All the while she was out there trying to pull a frozen rabbit from the ground and limping along the forest. It must be nice everyone who had ruined her life had such plush lives and she was out there starving and had to leave her daughter behind.

He wanted to know what happened which was fair enough, it was pretty clear he'd moved on. “Lachesis decided to move the pack, it's called something else now. It was time it seems after all that had happened. Oksana said the place that they were moving was rather beautiful. Somewhere around Turtleback I believe she didn't say much else besides that I would live it there. This was of course before Ayti made his threat to me and explained that I wasn't welcome with the pack anymore. I was forbidden to follow or else. Oksana is with them.” She looked down at her paws, it still wasn't easy to admit that she'd left her daughter.

It all made sense in her mind about being someone else though she could see from us perspective how utterly ludacris it all probably sounded once she heard it out loud. He had not lived her life, in all the time he'd been absent leaving her there to deal with the fallout of everything while he came out smelling like roses. Of course he wouldn't understand how much she wanted to not be Inna Baranski her life was ruined because he couldn't tell the truth.

She saw it for what it was.

Oh and then as she explained to him what had happened to Hearthwood he wanted to act concerned about their daughter. “Don't start this fight with me Lorcan Artemieva. You have no right to judge my actions when it comes to our daughter,” she growled lowly on warning lip curling and eyes flashing she wasn't going to pup with his judgement when she was the one suffering the consequences of his actions. “No I didn't tell Lachesis what Ayti did. He would only take Ayti's side and tell me I was lying because Lachesis doesn't give a damn what happens to me anymore.” She returned to a even and calm tone as she explained what happened with Ayti and Lachesis. “As for Oksana I didn't just leave after Ayti threatened me. I went to Lachesis and asked if she could stay with the pack at least for the winter. I then went to Reid and asked him to look after her and Andre too. I made sure she would be taken good care of. Then I stayed with her until the day of the move and watched her go with the pack from Hearthwood's borders.” A tear fell down her cheek as she remembered the day she'd watched her daughter disappear into the cedars. “No, I didn't ask if she wanted to stay, I told her to go. It would be safer and I don't know what's going to happen to me out here. Clearly nothing good,” she said indicating her leg with her muzzle, “I don't want her with me of something really bad happens to me, I don't want her to watch me die.” Cause at the point she was at it seemed a real possibility.

The body language that he exhibited in response to her warning made it clear it had not gone over well. The words that fell from his maw only showed that he had not heeded her words. She wanted to make him regret ever challenging her but she realized she was tired of fighting with Lorcan and everyone else. What was the point of it when she had nothing to fight for? She had lost him and her daughter, her home, everyone's trust, and her character. She knew they all thought she was crazy but none of them ever took the time to understand or they didn't care to. “I don't care about the punishment Lorcan I never did. They all think that I was mad about that but I never was. As for what happened at wild rye and after I'm over that what's done is done. I know Lachesis doesn't care because I was told so. I have tried so many times to talk to him I tried to earn his trust back Lorcan and he doesn't want to hear it because I didn't tell him you were Oksana's daughter when I had the chance. I should have told him as soon as I found out I was pregnant then none of this would have happened. Reyes wouldn't have been able to do what he did because Lachesis would have trusted my word. It was the one and only time I ever kept anything from him and now I have nothing Lorcan. Everyone else gets to live in their packs and have their families and their loved ones close to them and I'm out here with a leg I can even use eating frozen meat if I can find it. I have left my daughter behind so that she can start a life away from my shadow because I know that she would be better off if no one knew I was her mother after what I did. It's why I don't want to be Inna anymore, it's too painful and I need to start over and try to rebuild my life and I can't do that as Inna because I'm a joke. You know it and I know it."

When he asked about the males that she had left to look after Oksana she didn't hesitate in telling him. “Reid is a man that Oksana met he hasn't been with Hearthwood long but he's not there for the pack he’s there for Sana. He loves her and I believe he would die for her and she loves him too. I've seen them together and the way they are with each other, she's in good paws with him Lorcan. Andre he’s a healer and really nice, I trust him and asked him if he would teach her about healing if she would allow it. Before I had to leave her I tried to make sure she knew as much as I could in case she did decide to leave but as you know I don't know anything besides what you taught me about healing. Andre seems to know his stuff and I asked Lachesis to teach her too and he agreed. I tried for her Lorcan I really did, to make things better for her and to make it work so that I wouldn't have to leave her but they had decided and there wasn't anything I could do but leave her because it was that or have her watch me die.”

The images of watching Oksana disappear into the trees still brought tears to her eyes and she hated remembering them. Inna shook her head, “Lachesis won't make her stay if she decides to go, that is up to her what she does after spring comes. I hope she stays though and makes a life for herself in the new place, something better than what I had. I tried to teach her everything that would make her a good subordinate and maybe one day she can be held in the standard I once was. You should go see her and try to talk things out with her sooner would be better than later.” No matter what she thought of Lorcan she hoped that Oksana would talk to her father.