"Damn that Valiant!"


Hawke was not in a good mood. She was almost certain that the silver male had abandoned her, after acting as if he cared about her. Clearly he had been playing her; lying about his feelings and lying about everything that he had told her so far. He was just another asshole, playing her for his own benefits. She fumed, pacing from one tree to another and back again. Her paws had already created a path in the old snow and the grass and dirt peeking through where the snow had melted enough. Her paws were muddy from walking through the mixture of snow and wet dirt.


"What the hell am I supposed to do now?" The empty feeling hadn't returned yet, but Hawke knew that it would sooner or later. At the moment she was simply angry; her insides felt as though they were on fire and she was jut itching to yell at Valiant. But she was also angry at herself. After all, she had been the idiot to trust Valiant and fall for his lies. She loved him, dammit! Did that mean nothing to him? Had she really gone through all that just to be tossed to the curb like a piece of trash?


Oh she had some words to say to the male if she ever found him again. In reality she had seen him recently, but the fact that he was gone now made her believe that she had been abandoned, no matter how irrational that was. She knew that everyone would abandon her at some point, so why was she so upset? Every time this happened she felt the need to explode. But why? She knew it would happen.


"Fuck you, Valiant!" she yelled to the sky. "I hope you burn in hell!"


She had finally stopped pacing. However, she was not finished trying to find ways to let out her anger. She needed to punish herself. Thinking quickly, she walked up to the willow tree and began to bang her head on the trunk. She would hit the tree with her head once and then pause for a moment or two and do it again, with every intention of continuing the behavior until her frustration was gone and she was adequately punished for her foolishness. This would keep the emptiness at bay longer.

The language spurting from her mouth as she cursed under her breath was all but exoteric. If there had been more delicate ears around then she might have censored herself, but there was no one around and therefore no reason for her change her language to something less offensive.


A stranger's voice - and scent - startled her suddenly and she stopped slamming her head against the tree and turned around angrily. "What the hell do you know?" she demanded. Her tail was raised high but her head maintained a defensive position, her teeth bared. A low growl rumbled from her throat.


"What do you want?" she demanded angrily. Most of her anger was directed at herself and Valiant, but she was angry at the female for butting in and sneaking up on her. She didn't care who the female was; she just wanted to know why she was here and what the hell she wanted. She had enough problems with Valiant's abandonment and the sense of emptiness slowly returning and eating away at her mind.

OOC::

"You have no idea why I do such things," she scoffed at the black lady, her irritation building. "Do not speak as if you know what is going on. Were you in my shoes, dealing with that I have to deal with, you would be doing the same thing." Hawke was, of course, referring to the emptiness that threatened to consume her and stop her from feeling anything ever again, though the black wolf could not have known that. While Hawke was not aware that she had a disorder, she was aware of the fact that she was different from other wolves in the way that she thought and in her need for companionship. Whatever was wrong with her, she seemed to have no control over it.


Hawke had no desire to put up with this right now. She was sick of other wolves picking on her and downgrading her for something that was clearly not her fault. While she had the ability to be kind and caring, right now she was not in the mood to be reasonable and she was not in the mood to tolerate some stupid bitch coming and scoffing at her. "Why don't you just go fuck yourself?" she said rudely, her bad language coming out more and more as her temper began to heat up, threatening to boil over once more. She bared her teeth at the stranger and growled, a clear sign that the black female was not wanted here and that it would be better if she would just leave.

"You don't get it, do you?" she spat at the female angrily. "If what's wrong with me were wrong with you, you would do the same thing." Her anger was clear, and this was one of the few times that she was willing to admit that there was something wrong with her. Of course, she always knew that there was, but admitting it was a different matter entirely. "You would do the same thing because you wouldn't have control over it. Like me, you wouldn't have a choice!" And she didn't. When she did such things she was essentially having a break from reality. During that time she truly felt that she had to harm herself - it was a compulsion of sorts. She didn't know that, of course, but that was what was wrong with her.


Even though it was clear that Hawke was angry and aggressive, she had no intention of attacking. In truth, she just wanted to be left alone so that she might take out her anger on herself in peace. But this bitch had to come and fuck things up. Why couldn't she just leave? It wasn't as if she owned the place. Even in her mental state - somewhere between psychosis and neurosis - she knew that she was no good in a fight. She only appeared aggressive because she was angry at being disrupted, and she made not a single move to attack the other female. Of course, if she were attacked she would defend herself...with little concern as to whether or not she was harmed in the process.


Hawke's senses were both heightened and hindered by her mental state. She was hyper aware because of her current paranoia, so she was quick to discern the fact that the female was going to attack. In response, she hunched her shoulders and arched her neck to protect her throat, that vital, vulnerable part of her body. Her hackles raised, causing her fur to stand up and making her look a little bigger than she actually was. She moved a little lower to the ground, hoping to protect her stomach as well. Then she watched silently, waiting. She was ready when the last word left the female's mouth and she held her ground when the female charged.


Hawke pressed against the ground with her back paws, sending her speeding into a spring to equal the female's. While she did not have the strength of the larger female, she had more speed and she closed the distance even faster, adjusting her angle to meet the female head on, though she had angled herself just to the left. The female may have planned to go for the neck, but with Hawke's charge following the female's so quickly, the battlefield was changed. Hawke knew that she would lose in a strength-to strength battle, but she was determined to protect her neck from this bitch's jaws.
Being slightly lower than the female because of her attempt to remain closer to the ground, Hawke had a few targets to choose from. As they collided she felt the female's jaws grasp the skin at the top of her shoulder, even as she aimed her own jaws lower, hoping to get a good grasp on the female's left foreleg, in order to damage the female's balance and ability to run - or even walk - properly. She failed to take into consideration the size difference between them during her attack, however, and as the female pressed forward, clearly trying to push Hawke to the ground, Hawke could feel her legs begin to buckle. She locked them in place, but she knew that would not hold for long. With the next moves she would need to find a way to get out from underneath the larger female.