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+---- Thread: Sanguine Cove this world is gonna pull through (/showthread.php?tid=19913)
this world is gonna pull through - Chan - Aug 01, 2021
For @Nash only.
This temporary change of leadership had given Chan even more to think about when it came to securing the Cove's future. Those that wanted to live here permanently, he wondered if some of them considered what that might require of them down the road. In particular, he wanted to know his brother's thoughts, and how far the other man really was willing to go to keep the Cove strong.
Finally ready to talk about what had been on his mind, Chan sought out the younger Eastfall within the pack's territory. When he caught sight of his night-dark brother, he let out a whoof.
"Heya! Got a moment to talk, bud?"
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Nash - Aug 03, 2021
Nash had been keeping busy moving. Well, busy was a relative term. He'd been doing a whole lot of nothing under the guise of doing something. Lots of walking, lots of pacing the borders and checking caches and basically never sitting still. He was restless. He thought he'd liked settling down, and while he didn't want to leave the territory for fear of coming back to find it empty again, he had spent his formative year wandering. On his own.
He didn't want to be on his own. He wanted to be home.
And he was. He was here, at home, with his mother and brother and now his niece. It was nice. But he was getting bored. He had nothing to work towards, no goals; he was just... static.
He was starting to understand Chan's need to run errands. And if Chan ever decided to leave for an extended amount of time... maybe Nash could go with him.
Nut not with Moon here. He couldn't leave his mother.
He sighed and sat in place. He wasn't anywhere special; it was just a place on his own to rest his paws and think.
Well, it was for a moment.
Nash looked up, ears flicking when he heard his brother's call. He shrugged. "Sure," he said. "What's up?
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Chan - Aug 04, 2021
Nash didn't appear to have been up to much, which made Chan happy that he wasn't interrupting the guy or pulling him away from something important. He smiled and nudged his brother on the shoulder before sitting across from him.
"Been wonderin'... who do you wanna be for the Cove?"
Maybe Aleister didn't even want static, assigned ranks and roles for his pack. That didn't mean Nash didn't have something that gave him a sense of purpose, or talents that were specific to him which the pack needed. As long as Nash knew what he wanted, the rest would fall into place, Chan believed.
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Nash - Aug 04, 2021
Nash returned his brother's friendly bump with a smile. He was glad Chan had arrived at this moment; it was as if the older Eastfall could sense Nash's unrest whenever he became despondent.
He'd been prepared to stand up and begin walking, as the boys usually did when talking, but Chan sat across from him. This got Nash's attention, but nothing about Chan's body language suggested anything was out of the norm.
The question gave Nash pause. "Who do I wanna be?" he parroted. Was this a trick question? Was it a test? Did Chan want him to change his behavior? Was Nash "... Myself?" he finally answered, voice a little more uncertain than he would have liked.
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Chan - Aug 06, 2021
Chan couldn't help but laugh good-naturedly at his brother's answer.
"Best answer I could've asked for," he answered earnestly between chuckles.
"So who's Nash in the whole, grand pack scheme? I mean, when I leave, it's just gonna be mom standing between you and leadership."
She was the only other wolf, aside from Chan, to be collectively considered as high ranking. It was perfectly reasonable to think that Nash would soon be seen as a luminary of the pack in his own right to the rest of the subordinate members. Did he realize that, the kind of esteem he was actually held in?
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Nash - Aug 08, 2021
Relieved that his answer of 'himself' hadn't been off the mark, Nash very nearly missed Chan's clarification. At the mention of leaving, Nash's ears flattened briefly. He was never sure if Chan meant leaving leaving, or just going out on an extended scouting mission. He knew he needed to talk to him about it, to make plans. If he could convince Chan to stick around for a while longer, then after...
No, he didn't want to think about that. Not right now.
And so the conversation would be pushed back further.
He managed to force a snort at his brother's final comment. "What, think I should fight her for it?" he smiled and shook his head. "I'm no leader. I wouldn't even know what... I can barely talk to anyone. How could I lead?" Why were they even talking about this? Aleister was still around, and would be taking back leadership of the pack when he was better, right?
So Nash shrugged. "I'm not good at much," he said, "except wandering. But I was thinking... maybe a guardian? Like Dad. I'm not much of a fighter, but I could practice, and I patrol the borders a lot anyway and I'm usually there when someone new shows up at the borders and I want to be able to protect our home and Aleister's pups and be friends with everyone and create a safe space and I thought maybe being a guardian would be the best way for me to do that since I can't do much else-" Nash had to take a breath.
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Chan - Aug 10, 2021
Chan laughed again, thoroughly amused by the ridiculousness of such a notion. The sound subsided and the tawny man's brow raised as Nash continued, criticizing his own abilities. He couldn't say that was unexpected, though he'd hoped Nash would have had a better idea of just how probable the event of him taking the helm really was.
Maybe a guardian? the other Eastfall said then, Like dad?
Chan wasn't one to interrupt others, even if they rambled, but it was clear his brother was getting a little lost and had already passed his point. Chan grinned.
"I think that sounds just about perfect," he told his night-cloaked brother, "you're a wonderful guardian."
Already, just like he'd said; Nash filled the role every turn of the sun.
"So. You're watching the borders, Mom's teaching the pups, and I'm gone. Aleister breaks his leg in a hunt. Who do you think the pack will turn to?"
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Nash - Aug 12, 2021
His poke about fighting their mom garnered a laugh, but Chan would only be so patient with Nash's word vomit and took advantage of his pause for breath to interject. Nash's teeth clicked as he shut his mouth, burning with embarrassment. He really needed to get the run-on sentences under control; he did it far too much. Luckily, his older brother didn't seem to mind so much.
Relief washed through him at Chan's easy agreement, but then Nash's ears shot straight up. "I am? As in, present tense?" He hated how hopeful he sounded. He had been doing the work already, hadn't he? Maybe he didn't have to do anything extra to gain a title.
He really liked the sound of having a title.
When Chan launches into his hypothetical scenario, it takes Nash a minute to realize that's what it is. He's ready to protest, ask Chan where he's going, beg him to stay for their mother if nothing else, but the mention of Aleister and a broken leg settled his face into confusion, and then the final question has him shutting his mouth in thought.
The other women had pups to look after, and everyone else were either new or young. Even if he didn't think he himself would be the best leader, Nash couldn't settle on anyone else he would turn to. Nobody else outranked him either, so it wasn't as though he'd have to fight anyone. "When you put it that way..." he finally said, more pensive than he intended to be. This put a new spin on things. How could he plan on leaving with Chan if his brother ever decided to wander off permanently when there would be no one else left to lead? How could he do the very thing he'd been scarred by? How could he leave these wolves without a family, a protector?
He knew he should be pleased by this news, and on some level he was; he was honored, really, that his brother had so much faith in him, but the sudden weight of responsibility that descended on him...
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Chan - Aug 12, 2021
Present tense? Nash asked, and Chan nodded his head yes, yet to lose that small smile.
"Like y'said, you've been doin' the part."
If @Aleister felt differently, he could test Nash as he saw fit when he regained leadership. Until then, the work that the younger Eastfall had already put in would suffice in his brother's eyes.
"Al isn't a superhero. This won't be the last time he'll need to depend on someone else, and that's okay. That's what a pack is, helping each other, filling in where you're needed. You can be the wolf that steps in, if you want to be. I know you can, Nash."
He knew his brother had doubts that were rooted in the trauma of his past. Those feelings were valid, but they weren't enough to hold him back, not if he refused to allow that. Nash was compassionate and strong, his loyalty and work ethic unquestionable. Chan was sure that one way or another, he would make the right choices, and do what was best for everyone no matter his title.
RE: this world is gonna pull through - Nash - Aug 12, 2021
His brother's praise had always meant the world to Nash and that hadn't changed, but now it brought the anxiety of realizing exactly what position he was in. Nobody had ever depended on him before. It was strange, like the time he'd been on his own was a nightmare and he was a puppy suddenly thrust into adulthood with no preamble or time to grow.
Why was he like this?
Now was not the time to dwell on it. He smiled at his brother, trying to make it look convincing. "I just have to get used to the idea, but... you're right, I guess." Nash vacillated for a moment more before shifting the topic. He was afraid to ask, but if he didn't... "Chan..." he paused, searching for the right words and wishing he could bring himself to make eye contact instead of staring at his brother's right shoulder. "You keep saying... gone. I know you go on scouting trips and sometimes don't come back for a few days, but sometimes... it sounds more permanent. You're not..." he swallowed, and even though he tried to keep his voice steady, his next words came out far quieter than he intended. "Are you planning on leaving us? The Cove? And... and not coming back?"