He paced.

Pacing. Back and forth.

Back and forth.

So much so that the dark beast had worn a trail into the grass that was still just beginning to spring into life as the weather got warmer. Every so often a growl would escape from his lips. A snort here and there, then another growl. His mind was all over the place. Unable to decide what to do. No, he knew what to do. He knew how to do it. He knew it could do it... it was just the actual doing it that he couldn’t stand. This was ridiculous. He was no different to any other wolf, but they made it look so easy. So simple. It was nothing. Nothing at all. He could touch another wolf. He had. He had done it when he fought. He had done it when he saved Naira...twice. He had done it with strangers. He had done it with the River wolves. So what the hell was the big deal?!

His pack was within reach. He was so close. So close. Of course, his path to get here hadn’t been the straight road he had expected, and he was sure that next time he saw Valiant the male might try to hide him... but Rhysis wasn’t worried. Valiant might be big, but he was slow and Rhysis wasn’t too proud to run from a fight should he need to. Rhysis wasn’t worried about stabbing the wolf in the pack. Having used him for so long as a body guard, as someone to take his rage out on, someone to rely on when he needed them but now he was considering throwing it all away... for a female. A female who he still didn’t know what was happening between them. He couldn’t deny any longer that he wanted her. He wanted to own her. He wanted to cover her in his scent. Dominate her into submission, submission she’d give only to him. He wanted to be her king, her prince, her knight. He wanted to smother her until she could breathe in nothing but him... But his fucked up brain wasn’t going to allow that. So intelligent did his mind consider itself that it had been trying to override his natural instincts for the longest time.

He’d left the River wolves before dawn. Another headache had struck, this time bringing him from sleep and he’d tried to walk it off. He hadn’t realised he’d been heading back towards his old den until the fallen log fell into sight. He’d stopped and sat within its bark for a while, but the confined space mixed with his thoughts had made him feel as if he was being crushed. Unable to breath, he had bolted from the den and thrown himself further into the woodland. He didn’t know where he had ended up, all he knew was that the large tree he had found was a place where he should stop. Since dawn, he had been pacing around and around the base of the thick trunk, trying to decide just what he should do with his future.

Another snarl ripped from his chest and into the morning air. The sun had been rising for a few hours now, but he had no track of time. With the headache not shifting, his mind not cooperating with his body or even his own instincts he was having trouble to just stop. To stop and calm down. He had so much he needed to do, so much he wanted to do, so much he colour do. It was so simple though, he just had to leave. Leave it all behind and start fresh. Unable to find his sister Ranger, unable to kill his sister Volkan, too impatient to wait for Valiant who might be a lost cause at any rate with his crazy females, and too dark, too beneath Naira to make a life with her, there was nothing to keep him here. Yet he couldn’t run, he couldn’t leave. Every time he got the courage to begin to walk away he had to stop and turn back, the thought of not seeing her grinning face, her stupid plants strewn around her paws, her long fur gliding in the wind, her melodic laugh soothing his ears... no, he couldn’t go. He couldn’t stay.

He was trapped within himself.

He paced.

She had managed to track down some feverfew in the wildflower glade a few nights ago on her way home from her little mushroom encounter. It was still a stupid mistake on her part, and she would never let herself live it down. What if someone had seen her? She suppressed a growl as she gathered what she would need.

While the feverfew were still just shoots, the leaves were potent. They held a slightly bitter citrus taste, but when combined with a little peppermint it was bearable. She had specifically set these aside for Rhysis, but the dark male was avoiding her like she had some sort of communicable illness. She was growing tired of his games. He couldn’t avoid her forever.

As she exited her den, she easily picked up his scent, it was like it was burned into her memory, and she didn’t want to admit it to herself, but she was sure she could find him anywhere. Tracking him to the Wildwood took next to no time at all with her steady ground eating pace and when his fresh scent mingled with older she had the feeling they were close to his old den. Why would he come here?

She found his hollow log and a small smile passed her lips, but he hadn't stopped here. Breathing deeply past the smell of the leaves in her mouth she continued to track his scent. The first thing she noticed was the large tree. This area of the forest had been burned, and while the fresh green shoots of recovery were evident everywhere she looked, there was a distinct sadness underlying the new life. She took a moment before her gaze shifted downward.

She refused to acknowledge her heart skipped a beat when the pacing black beast came into sight, just like she didn’t bother with a verbal introduction around the leaves in her mouth. His headache was as obvious as his path, which was clearly worn into the still sprouting shoots of grass. While his back was to her she sat in the middle of his track so he would have no choice but to face her when he turned. She was not backing down today.

He couldn’t be sure if he was just imagining it, or whether the breeze was trying to torment him further, but a familiar perfume brushed across his face in a soft caress. It was both welcome and unwanted. He hadn’t been expecting that on his next loop of the tree that he would come face to face with the very wolf that brought him to this point. She looked so stubborn, so unmoving at that point that he could do nothing but stop his pacing dead in its tracks and face her head on. He said nothing, his breathing had stopped without him realising as he waited for something to happen. For something to be said, for his own mouth to start moving but there was nothing but silence between them.

Time had seemed to stand still. The white noise of the morning birds and insects had melted to nothing, there was nothing there in that place, at that moment, but he and Naira. His icy grey eyes met her own honey coloured gaze and he simply looked at her, looked at her for the longest time. Inside he was pulling himself in two. Half of him wanted to run, no, it wanted to hurt her. He wanted to lash out, to tear her limb from limb for everything she was making him. Heck, the other day he had even hunted for a stranger because he was trying to do right by her, to change the man he was so that when she discovered the truth about him, she would see the goodness inside him... the goodness that wasn’t there. She didn’t know him... not the real Rhysis. She didn’t know what he was capable of, what he had done. What he wanted to do. All she knew of him was that he was a fool. A bumbling, grumpy fool because that is the sap he turned into whenever she was around. It was her fault he was here now. Her fault he had to join the River wolves and allow himself to slip into the monotonous role of pack life. Her fault he currently had a head ache. Her fault he wanted to run from here and never return. Her fault for making him feel the way he did. Her fault for making him look at her the way he did now, with nothing but heat in his eyes.

The other side of him was innate, instinct that was fighting a war against his cold, calculating, logical mind. It wanted to throw his body at her. To mingle their scents, their fur, their souls into one. To take her for his own, declare to the world that she was his and never to be anyone elses. It didn’t matter to him that he would destroy her. Break the beautiful girl that she was in two. Her life would never be the same if he took another step forward. She’d be an outsider, she’d be hateful and twisted just like him. He was no good for her; already he had one pack after his skin and if he took another step forward there might be another. Did he really want that life for her? Of course, he cared about his own skin, he was a selfish creature after all, but was that something he wanted for her? He tried to ignore the logic, to listen to his body rather than his mind just for an instant.
Instinct was pushing him, pushing him to take her. Her scent was like a drug, he felt almost high on instinct and her scent alone, too much of it would push him over the edge and he often struggled with his self control. He felt his paw lifting from the worn ground as it took a single step forward. His head raised high, dominance and something more but his eyes never left her own.

This close, he felt as if he would pass out from the smells that rose from her. Each breath she took released more of her into the air around them, each movement she made, no matter how minute seemed to make the loudest noise.

He said nothing. He could not say anything, despite how much he wanted to say.

The tension was palatable, and the heat in his gaze made her skin prickle in a way it never had before. Perhaps this had been a mistake...

It was a different wolf that stood in front of her now. Strong, and capable and dominating. Her ears flicked back slightly out of instinct, something subconscious. It never would have happened had she been focused on the signals her body was giving, rather than the ones the ones she was reading on the dark male in front of her. In the scheme of things she was still the second, but there was something between them that surpassed all of that. It made her want to run.

Her jaw clenched a little, the mingled leaves releasing a refreshing tang in her mouth. Sudden realisation dawned on her, the entire purpose of her tracking him down this morning. She took a few tentative steps forward and put the leaves at his feet before quickly walking backwards to her previous position, sitting on her haunches. ”For your headache...” she almost whispered looking to the tree, suddenly frightened to meet his eyes for the heat she may encounter there, worried her own eyes may reflect the same. What was going on here?

He felt as if he would jump out of his skin as she finally spoke. The tension between them was so fierce and he felt as if he was not only scaring her but himself as well. He was like an outsider, watching the pair from a distance. Shouting at himself to just walk away but his voice wasn’t heard. Instead, Rhysis took another step forward. The very idea that she was aware of his head pains, that she had brought him something to try to stop the dull ache that drilled itself into his skull showed how much she cared. He’d never had a wolf in his life take such action. Of course, she might just be doing her duty, she was the second and healer after all but the way she looked at him, the way she looked so fragile as he stood to powerful before her made him believe otherwise. She should assert her dominance over his challenge if it was bothering her.

If on cue, she glanced away. Tearing her gaze from his own. In that instant, he felt whatever it was that was pushing him forwards collapse and instead, anger reared its ugly head. ”My headache? You want to help cure my headache?!” he snapped then, barking whilst shouting at the female. ”Its your fault I have the damn headaches. You had to come along didn’t you. Screw up everything, turn me into the mess I am. And you think all you need to do to make it better is make me eat some plants you found on the floor?!” Inside there was a desperate struggle happening, his mind battling with his heart, both wanting to shout at her but for very different reasons.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? Why do you have to be so fucking amazing. Why do you make me feel like this?!" he demanded, thinking that she could give him an answer that would satisfy him... nothing would though. He knew that, but he just couldn't stop his mouth.

He was yelling at her again. It seemed as if all of their encounters resulted in him yelling at her and running away. But she wasn’t going to let him run away this time. Suddenly realising the meek way she was holding herself, her own anger rose to match his own, more at herself than the fact he was yelling at her again. She felt her hackles rising, her rear lifting off the ground and tail rising over her back, lips pulled back from white teeth instinctively. She didn’t want to do this, but what option was he leaving her?

Something he said changed her increasingly aggressive demeanor, made her freeze in shock. He thought she was amazing? Still annoyed that he was yelling again she growled and began to stalk forward, ready for whatever repercussions resulted. ”Well if I’m so fucking amazing why do you keep yelling at me and running away?” she growled right back. They were almost nose to nose now, golden eyes locked with grey, searching for any clue as to what exactly was going through the dark males mind, and attempting to mask her own raging emotions. She didn’t know whether she wanted to throw herself at him or tear his face off.

There was no escaping now, so she may as well say it. Her voice more gentle, almost a whisper she asked "Why do you keep avoiding me? What exactly did I screw up?" Her eyes continued to search his for some small clue as to what was going on. What did she do to make him so angry at her?

As she rose to defy him he felt himself taking a step back, allowing her the space she needed. It was obvious he was winding her up, all he seemed to do was shout at her and blame her for everything, but it was her fault he was like this. This isn’t who he was, or was it? He didn’t even know anymore. He’d changed so much since he met her, maybe no on the inside, not deep in his core but bits of his stone soul had been chipped away by her. She made him see some good in people, made him see what fun was, taught him how to laugh. This is what normal wolves did, those who weren’t so fucked up they struggled to function. She was normal, she made him normal and something about that terrified him. He wasn’t normal, he was exception. He always had been and he always would be.

She came right up to him, he held his ground and allowed the distance between them to close to nothing more then an inch. He held his breath again, her scent so over powering he could barely think straight as she was so close. His ears took charge, listening intently to everything she said before he tried to get his brain to form some sort of logical answer for something that just wasn’t logical to him. ”I avoid you because you drive me crazy. I yell at you because when you’re around me I do stupid things. I run from you because I don’t want to hurt you and if I stay I know that I will.” he said, his strong southern drawl speaking clearly, stubbornly as if what he was saying wasn’t registering inside just yet, no matter how true it might be.

”You.. I.” he began, but found it hard to put into words what it was she had screwed up. He was already a screw up, exiled by his pack, a death penalty on his head by his only sister, alone in the world. What exactly had she messed up for him? Sure, he had a bump and a scrap from their time together, but that was it. She had made him laugh, made him think, made him want more from his life then to just sit in his log in the wildwood and wait for the world to be handed to him on a plate. ”You make me alive when I should be dead. You make me feel when I’m numb inside. You make me laugh when I don’t even see the funny side of things.” he then dropped her gaze and looked away. ”You scare me because somehow you’ve wriggled your way into my life and had me doubting who I am, what I am. I live on logic, but you’re the more illogical thing I have ever met and it frustrates me that I cannot understand you or myself when we’re together.” He took a step back then, almost ready to run but something was keeping him planted firmly to the floor.

Her entire being softened as he spoke. She wanted to comfort him but didn’t know how. Her uncertainty was painted clearly on her face, turned back ears and lowered tail, but she maintained eye contact. If she tried to touch him he would take off again... wouldn’t he? She didn’t interrupt, she let him have his say as all the pieces began to fall into place. He took a step back as if to run and something in side her gave way. If she let him leave now, she couldn’t live with herself.

Slowly and purposefully lifting her paw she moved to the right, her muzzle sneaking its way under his chin with a small bump as she stepped closer and settled her head against his shoulder, sitting close but not forcing any more contact than her head on his shoulder. There was little she could offer in response to all he was saying. For once she was at a loss for words.

A million different scenarios were rolling through her head at the same time. Her aunt Maia at the forefront, but right now she didn’t care. She knew she was seriously pushing her luck getting so close, but she didn’t know what else to do. Her voice little more than a whisper she almost pleaded. ”Rhysis, please don’t leave me again.” Her eyes squeezed shut tightly, ready for him to pull away again. Her heart was already breaking in anticipation.

His body refused to move as she came closer. He felt himself inwardly and outwardly trembling at the waves of emotions that were rolling through him. He wanted to run, run faster then he had ever run before but at the same time he wanted to stay and continue to make an ass of himself over and over again for her. He half expected her to hit him, he would have hit himself if his limbs bent that way. He was shouting at her again, like the thug he was. He felt in that moment like his father. His father treated females like scum and that is what he was doing. Whilst he never wished to be his father, he respected his actions and the methods he used, they were all he knew, until now that was. He wondered if his father had ever felt the way he had now... he wondered what he did in that situation. It was then he thought of his mother, not the mother who they claimed was his but his real mother... the omega of the pack. He still didn’t know the details, if they were in love or she was raped, but it was the secret that had them exiled from the pack. Perhaps his fate would end up like his fathers, doing it all wrong for the sake of something he just couldn’t understand.

Her head brushed beneath his skin and he bit back the growl that festered in his chest. As her soft, silky head ran across the bottom of his jaw and settled so gently upon his shoulder he stood frozen. Unable to move. Fear of what he might to had him standing there like a fool. Time which had already been frozen now lay dormant and dark. There was nothing around him, no scenery, not weather, no air. Just he and her, there in this moment. Her words cut him deep. He felt as if each letter was a slice to the heart. She wanted to him stay. He didn’t know why. He didn’t question her why. He simply nodded and leant forwards, leaning his chest against her shoulder before he tilted his head ever so slightly to rest his cheek upon her head.

For once, his mind and body were both in silent harmony. It was only then he released the breath he had been holding with the words. ”I won’t leave you. Ever.”

She was almost shocked by his reply, every inch of her being had been preparing for him to walk away. She had already decided that if he left her, she would go home. Not to Swift River, but her home, the place where she was born. It was a long trek, one she may not survive again, and she knew there was no guarantee they would take her back. But she wouldn't stay here. Couldn't stay here. She knew the memories would haunt her until they drove her mad.

As he moved closer, she relaxed, it was the closest they had ever been. She replayed his exhaled words in her mind, over and over. Her body melted into his as relief washed over her from the tips of her ears to the end of her tail. She hadn't realised how much of herself she had put into that one sentence. It settled her resolve. She would give him the world if he asked for it. For just those five little words she would break any rule, travel to the ends of the earth. She was his.