But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

There was a frown on her features as she looked at the sparkling crystals that had settled comfortably on the foliage. She had thought she had a little more time, but it appeared that was not the case. The first frost had struck, and it bode ill tidings for the medicinal herbs that could still be collected. What the frost didn’t kill, it tainted… it was almost like it made the herbs less effective. It caused a soft sigh, the worry and stress clear on her features through truthfully she was just being a worrywart.

She simply worried because she no longer had Landen to send out for herbs. He’d returned home which she couldn’t fault him for. She had even sent tidings for her family with him so they would know not only that she was okay, but so her father could find out that he was now a grandpa. Realistically, her herb stores were fine, and well-stocked considering the time of year… she would just always worry because running low would mean that she had to leave her daughter in order to hunt things down… and if the weather was cooling down like it was… then it would take her longer to find what she needed.

She hated the idea of being away from the Cove or Kateri for any substantial amount of time, so all that simply escaped her maw was a distressed whine as she continued to examine the foliage, as if hoping to find some other reason for the frost’s appearance.

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

Her mind continued to race. What if a sickness swept through the pack? What if the pups didn’t adapt well to the cold weather and ended up with the deep cough? The deep cough could be deadly without the right herbs... and if all the pups ended up ill? Perhaps it was in her nature to catastrophize. She heard a familiar voice, but she had been so lost in her head that she hadn’t noticed the approach and she had jumped just a little from the sudden interruption of her thoughts. She exhaled, a soft smile but ultimately worried look spreading across her features. “Nash, how are you?” Because she would always greet first, answer the questions she was being asked separately.

She turned away from the plants, but not before motioning with her maw to them. “Yes and no… there’s really nothing to find and that’s the problem. The first frost is upon us…” Others might not understand fully why that was a problem so she didn’t hesitate to dive into the why this was important. “Once the frost starts, plants start to die. I’m worried. What if I don’t have enough stored to last us through the winter? What if a sickness sweeps through the pack?” She continued to fret aloud, her ears drooped against her head as the worry clearly placated her face.

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

He followed up his assurances that he was fine with all of these questions and she was shaking her head. No, everything was not okay… but also no, as far as she knew, nobody was sick. She sighed softly before diving into her explanation. She was just a little frantic. She was usually so calm under pressure, but she really wasn’t under that much pressure per say. She wasn’t under any at all, it was all self-induced and admittedly a little unnecessary but she always fretted that she was not prepared enough.

He was leaning against her, his coos and the contact drawing her from her frazzled state slightly mesmerized. The heat rose to her cheeks once more in embarrassment or perhaps something more. He could help look for things? But then she would have to teach him everything! “The things I am still low on are at least a day’s journey if not more… I don’t want to leave Kateri that long. I know her father would look out for her but I don’t want her to think I’ve run off or anything!” She offered back, getting to some of the roots of her issues…

Then, of course, there was the fact that he had helped Chan collect some herbs. “I wish Landen were here… another set of trained paws would be helpful. I know he had to get back to my Aunt and Uncle… but first frost seems like it’s always the most stressful time of year.” She had to prepare and preserve for an entire winter, and sure she had already been diligently working. “I just don’t want to fail anyone.”

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

She liked to think her daughter knew that her love for her would never fade and that any absence she might have from her was only temporary… but the separation anxiety weighed heavily on the young mother nonetheless. “You’re right… I just… I worry about her is all.” She would always worry about her, especially with how tragically her brother had fallen to the cruel fate of having never drawn a breath to begin with.

Aquene knew that while her family missed her, the Slayers and the Starks were no longer her only family. She had bonds and ties here, and in some ways the bond of the covenant was thicker than the water of the womb. She would always love her family, but shortly after Kateri was born, she started to realize more and more that here was her home. She could never leave it. She would miss the wolves here too much, the wolves who had seen her at her worst and helped and supported her through it nonetheless without the ties of blood obligating them to.

He insisted that she wouldn’t fail them, and in that moment she couldn’t help but think that perhaps he gave her too much credit. She was far from perfect. Still, his offer brought a relieved smile to her features. “You’d be willing to do that for me?” She asked softly in turn. She’d never really had someone offer to learn. Chan had offered, but he had already known what the herbs he had been looking for looked like… and back home there were a million healers to go around so there was never any need for teaching someone else. “You can help me go through the slots in the herb den and tell me which ones are low or empty so I can figure out what we need the most?”

But I put it out of my mind Long enough to call it courage To live without a lifeline

The stillborn birth of her son had shaken her to the core, both as a healer and as a mother. She wanted to make sure Kateri never felt pain or suffering in the world. She savored those moments and her need to protect her was strong, and it manifested in so many different ways: worry, anxiety, and love being the most prominent. Still, Nash seemed to know how to calm her down, which was no small feat as she could be neurotic at times, especially when she was lost in her own head or worries. She got that from her father, she supposed. He always fretted so much over them, just as her mother did. Was it genetic? Had she passed this kind of worry and anxiety onto Kateri?

He assured her that he could do it, and that it was no problem. She nodded when she realized what she needed to do in order to inform him. “Many of the ones we are fully stocked on are the ones that grow along the Pass… everything else hasn’t been stocked since Landen made his voyage home. If you come with me, I can show you the main two I’m worried about! Goldenrod and Prairie Crocus. One helps with joint and muscle pain and infection while the other helps with headache, wounds, sore throats and sores.” With winter on the cusp, they could never be too sure, especially with the possibility of wounds and infections. “And there is also Arnica. There are some in the foothills, but our stores on it are a little low and with winter coming, I can see us having quite a few sprains, especially from the pups when they first encounter ice.” She was rambling as she guided him towards the den to pull from the stores and show him what she was talking about.