Viorel had woken from his afternoon nap with a singular thought on his mind: they had been here almost a year. The winter had arrived and it was only going to get colder, and memories of waking up retching in the dead of the woods with his brother and cousin haunted him. So much had changed, but he still had so many questions that had no answers, and today for some reason he couldn’t shake this thought from haunting him.

He had tried to throw himself into work, there was certainly enough of it to keep him busy, but the gnawing feeling of unease in his belly could not be dismissed. So, he was playing hooky. He had been to this lake once before, and it held a sense of calm despite being located in the middle of the creepiest woods Viorel had ever seen. He thought maybe if he got back there he could get the calm back.

It wasn’t working, he had spent an hour laying on what he assumed was the shoreline, but the lake was covered in ice and snow. Without its flat, reflective surface, the area was missing something. Getting to his paws suddenly, he started desperately scratching away at the snow and ice, he needed to see the lake. He needed answers.

Viorel was frantic. He ignored the protest of his toe pads as he dug through the snow and ice chunks that had frozen, part of him knowing this was futile but ignoring that voice. His claws had just finally struck the smooth ice of the lake when a familiar voice broke him from his concentration. Gasping in surprise, he whirled around, in his confusion he missed the sight of his sister’s white pelt in the snow. Looking back across the shoreline slightly more calmly, he spotted her.

His stomach twisted uneasily. Hazelnut was a welcome member of the pack, and he always made sure she was safe and fed, but had been purposely trying to have minimal contact. The sight of her reminded him that his mother had taken the time to get knocked up by a dad who disappeared instead of looking for them. Then…. There was the more recent development of her disappearance without a word.

But, none of that was really her fault, was it? ”Oh uh, I was trying to get the snow off the lake….I wanted to see the ice I guess.” Maybe she would take that explanation and leave, go back to whatever it was that she was doing, which was….. Something. Furrowing his brow he called back, ”Are you by yourself? What are you doing out this far?” Maybe Clover has taken her looking for herbs, or Sharlee on a scout, but then where were they?

Did he want help? Uh, no, not really, would be the honest answer, but Viorel did not want to hurt his sister’s feelings either. It still stung him deeply that his own brother and sister had up and left them, why was he trying so hard to push his remaining sibling away? Sighing slightly, he gestured with his muzzle to call her forward, ”Alright then, but be careful. The ice is thick but if you hear any cracking run back to shore as quick as you can.” Not that he would expect that to happen with how cold it was, but you never knew.

On the off chance his mother ever returned it would not be a good look if he had let his baby sister drown.

Snorting slightly at her explanation, but not too concerned he answered, ”I suppose you aren’t,” alone anymore, he meant. The children were old enough to wander without supervision and while he wouldn’t have liked any of his own to go quite this far, she wasn’t his kid. Frankly, she could do whatever she wanted as long as she didn’t get hurt, or do anything to endanger the pack or any of its members. It was not his place to discipline her.

Waiting for her to come closer, he pulled back another few pawfuls of snow, revealing the smooth dark ice beneath them. ”See? If you get rid of the snow you can see yourself in the ice, and sometimes things that are under the ice.” They were out too far to see anything other than darkness, but if they were closer to shore they may have seen rocks or fallen logs.

Viorel could not help but grin a little, turning his face to hide the expression as Hazelnut bounded across the ice towards him. Something about the excitement and the way that she moved just reminded him of his own children, and he had to chastise himself. She was not his kid, she was his sister, and it was not his duty to put that smile on her face or make sure that she had a good childhood. That was his mother’s job and she had left her behind.

He looked at the way her reflection appeared next to him, and was struck by just how differently they looked for siblings. It was not like standing next to Andrey who was practically his twin, or even his tawny sister who reminded him of their mom. Instead she looked exactly like her father, the one who had heard he was going to be a dad and took off.

Sadness swept him then, Hazelnut really did not have parents did she? At least he had had a mom growing up, sure, it turned out it was all a lie, but he had been happy when he was her age. Nodding despite his frown he murmured, ”you look just like your dad.” It slipped out before he could stop it, and then he wished he could take it back.