Things had been… difficult, since he had received the news of the passing of his father. He didn’t know how to feel and with that came conflicting emotions that washed over him constantly. With it came a guilt for all the time he failed to spend with his father, guilt over choosing to stay in the Backwater when he could have been at the Cove developing a relationship with the man… there was anger that he was taken from him, especially given the way he had essentially forsaken his relationship with his mother after he had learned of the secret she kept from him…

There was a longing for everything to make sense, a longing for him to once again find his mother lest she die on him too… a desire to visit the Cove, to visit the grave, and pay the condolences to the pack who were more family to him than Seri had ever been… and yet, he did not. Instead, he found others ways of coping. He buried himself into his work for the Backwater, driving himself to near exhaustion each day, staring early and working late… if only to distract himself from all the conflicting emotions in his head.

No doubt everyone else noticed he was self-destructing around them. He made his way towards the mud brothers hangout, tucked near the pack den but far enough away to talk with a morning meal, settling down as he mentally made plans for the day, figuring out how he was going to help out… perhaps it was time to work on his next scouting mission?

Seri’s eyes only lifted from his meal at the sound of his friend’s voice, his tail managing a soft wag and an attempt at a smile, though the tired exhaustion showed over his features. There was no sadness because there was no time to let such feelings in… “Hey Eros!” He offered, hints of the chipper attitude he carried almost regularly on his features. If he just avoided it, then he wouldn’t need to deal with the complex emotions and guilt that had been broiling under the surface, right?

“I was just thinking about my next scouting message… I think I wanted to check out what was west of us… I have never really gone that way before. What do you think?” He posed, though even as he brought it up, his tone was not quite in it, not quite edging that excitement he used to carry when he went on his crazy adventures to one place or another.

The denial had faded, the crying had stopped, but that didn’t mean it was all gone. “Have you eaten yet? I dropped another rabbit in the cache near here… we could eat together.”

Seri never wanted to extinguish this light and ease that he carried. Part of what he had come to appreciate was the way that interacting with others gave him energy, but now it just felt like something of a chore at times, even with his best friend. He didn’t want him to feel as though he didn’t want to hang out, because it wasn’t the case, just he was so deep into this funk that he didn’t know how to step out of it.

Seri did not hesitate to rise when his friend agreed to a meal, picking up his own rabbit as he led them to the cache he had stored the other in, motioning with his nose before setting down not far from it. In a few days time, he would be forced to confront the fact that his father was dead, and he forced to address the guilt he felt when he came face to face with his half-siblings… but until then, he would dutifully ignore it.

“I did a lot of exploring in the east back before I joined… but I haven’t seen much of the West so I thought maybe it could be a fun adventure… I want to take a few weeks for it, but I have to talk to your dad about it still. I’m hoping he’ll let me.”

Seri did not begin to dig into his meal until his friend had selected his fill and began to dig into his own, despite how his stomach grumbled. The rabbit would edge away his hunger, which he found himself thankful for, but even eating sometimes felt like a chore in the grand scheme of things. Seri was blind to the irritation that came whenever Seri brought up speaking to Viorel about things. Social conventions were new to him, and it seemed like it had been a standard since before they were even born. He hadn’t understood it at first, but Sharlee had explained it quite well to him.

He asked for him to come with him and Seri finished the bite he had been working on before responding. “Of course! I was kind of hoping you would ask, especially with Winter so close.” Seri did not like being alone, not since his mother disappeared.

“Mud brothers, to the west… do you think Archer might want to come too? It can be a mud brother outing!” The idea brought the first prick of genuine excitement that he had experienced since he had received the news to begin with.

Seri was glad that Eros wanted to come with him, that they were still as close as the day that they had met. Seri wrinkled his nose when he mentioned Kat coming as well. “But whyyyy? This is a boys trip!” He didn’t want a girl there with them! “It’ll be a condition. He can come if he doesn’t bring Kat… mud brothers only.” And brothers were bros, so Kat couldn’t join up and be one. “It would be like bringing Violet or someone along… Kat’s my sister.” Half-sister, and they weren’t raised together, but it was still weird.

Still, Seri was relieved that at least Eros wasn’t affected by her presence too. He seemed absolutely normal unlike Archer who was getting so close to Kat… Seri had noticed it to, though not to the extend that it was clear that Eros had. “Maybe some time away will help him get her out of his head or something.” It was all so gross and icky in his mind.