Paradise Falls I found a way I could catch that feel good

She had been back home for less than a full day at this point, and her age was really showing by how fatigued she felt. A few years ago a scouting trip like the one that Finley had just been on wouldn’t have been a second thought to her. A couple hours of sleep and she would have been back up and on her paws like nothing had ever happened. Now, it felt like no amount of sleep would have her caught up to feeling normal again.

The new day would be beginning soon as she stirred within the cave that she had once upon a time shared with Jethro. The rain had remained steady, though light, throughout the night and into the morning, but she was safe and dry in here. A large part of her wanted to roll over and go back to sleep and just let the day pass her by. The more responsible part of her urged her to get up, get back to work and stop lazing around.

In the end, Finley gave herself just a little bit more time, not to sleep, but to rest her weary muscles. Getting old was a privilege she knew, but in this moment it also felt like a curse.

SO WASH YOUR PAWS, ALLEY CAT

Ryder hadn't really gotten to spend time with his mother, and it bothered him in that way that a lot of things did. It likely seemed petty, brattish. She'd needed to rest and that was understandable, but it also had been many hours ago. When was she gonna come around and join them again? Didn't she at least want to see her granddaughter, after being gone so long?

Of course, his half-sister had been quick to notice where he was heading and launch into her nagging. Already a touch irritated, he couldn't help but make himself feel even worse by leaning into the Atara-is-definitely-the-favorite train of thought. By the time they arrived, a frown cut deeply across his muzzle. Picking up Finley's scent, knowing that he was still in his mom's general presence and that she really was back, soothed it away.

"Mom?" he asked, without stepping up to the den's entrance. This particular place was, after all, just another thing he was far from fond of.

ONCE YOU'RE DEAD YOU CAN NEVER COME BACK

WE'RE BURNIN' DOWN THE HIGHWAY SKYLINE ON THE BACK OF

Atara worried that she was being impatient, and certainly did not intend on imposing herself unto her mother's well-deserved rest. Ryder was going to do it anyways, though, and she really did just want to see her mom. She'd missed her. Dad too, but before, Mom had always stayed while he left. This was the first time she'd been without both parents, Finley especially.

Right on her brother's heels, she unintentionally had donned on a rather concerned appearance, brows pinched in and down while her ears pressed forward and her eyes looked ahead intently. Like there would be a sign any minute of how things would go. Of course, there wasn't. Mom was still in her den, and she stopped even further back than Ryder had. This felt... inconsiderate. Atara began to chew her cheek as they awaited a response.

A HURRICANE THAT STARTED TURNIN' WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG

The mother had no idea that her children were heading her way as she settled her head upon her paws. Kicking her back legs out sideways, a deep sigh brought her down into a level of comfort that was just a step above being asleep. Eyelids struggled to stay open, and as she lay there she realized just how deeply her muscles ached from her travels. It was clear she would not be able to make the trip back to see Jethro, and could only hope he would come back to them soon.

Plus, there was that nagging itch deep in her ear, that she could never seem to quite reach no matter how hard she tried. In fact, when Ryder called out, she was desperately trying to scratch it, but even if she hadn’t been it was doubtful that she would have heard them. She had first noticed how difficult it was to hear about halfway through her trip home and had chalked it up to her age. Now the biggest challenge would be to stop anyone else from noticing.

Finley had been turning to relax once more when she noticed the shadow cast across the dim lighting of the entrance. Startling that someone had snuck up on her, it turned to a smile when she realized who it was. Crawling forward so she lounged in the entrance, she beamed at Ryder and Atara, getting to her paws quickly to kiss their crowns in greeting.

SO WASH YOUR PAWS, ALLEY CAT

It took a moment for anything to happen, and Ryder was slowly starting to frown again, wondering if maybe she was still asleep. Was that normal? It was a long trip they'd been told, but still... Those broiling clouds above his head calmed to their usual, steady churning when there was eventually movement, and his mom's sunny face appeared. He couldn't help but smile back, fragile and curling only at the very edges but still very real. His tail wagged as he bowed his head to receive her gesture.

There were a lot of questions he could ask, and they kind of got stuck all jumbled together somewhere in his throat. He watched her instead as she moved on to Atara, his sister finding words far more easily, as was typical. It was the differences between himself and her that made him wonder after his own father. Had he inherited the things that set him apart? Did he have a whole other family that could actually, fully relate to him?

Sometimes melancholy took him with those thoughts, but in this moment it was easy to focus instead on whatever Finley's answers would be.

ONCE YOU'RE DEAD YOU CAN NEVER COME BACK

WE'RE BURNIN' DOWN THE HIGHWAY SKYLINE ON THE BACK OF

With each breath that passed wherein nothing happened, Atara felt more and more certain that they'd come far too soon. If their mother was still in repose, it was for good reason. What could they know of how taxing the journey had been on a body that no longer held the advantages of youth? Worse yet, what if she was needing to recover emotionally? What if something had happened between her and father, like Jethro wanting to stay with that other pack?

She worried relentlessly, even after Finley appeared with an air of pure mirth, though Atara made a valiant effort to wipe away all visual evidence of such the moment it happened. Now that she was here, Atty gladly stepped up to her brother's side, her own tail catching his a few times as it wagged with exuberance.

"Mom! It's so good to see you, welcome home!" she gushed, also tipping her crown to gladly receive a peck.

"How are you feeling? Was it as far as Dad said?"

A HURRICANE THAT STARTED TURNIN' WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG

A single ear swiveled towards her daughter, and then Finley realized what had happened and quickly forced the other one to follow. The movement caused an itch deep down again that she did her best to ignore. It was annoying to be sure, but nothing that she could not put up with. Beaming at Atara she nodded, ”It felt even longer, especially the travel home - scouting is meant for wolves younger than I.” Like canines their age, with a pep in their step because they were on the right side of time.

She looked at Ryder then, ”And how are you doing? How is Indigo, and Hazelnut”?” He probably would not appreciate the prying into his personal life, but she needed to know. This was her one and only grandchild, and she felt like she had missed so much already even though she had only been away for a couple of weeks. Maybe if Jethro did not return soon they could all go, herself, Atara, Ryder, Indigo, if her son would go. She knew the tension was still high between her mate and her first born, but she could always try to spin it as another chance to look for Caspian. Then maybe they could all be back together.

The mother stifled a yawn, she was tired, but never too tired to spend time with them.

SO WASH YOUR PAWS, ALLEY CAT

Finley pulled him into the conversation quickly, but even though her questions were to be expected, it was a topic that always tied his tongue. His little accidental 'family,' wherein Mom and Dad acted like strangers and he worried every day that he was somehow, in some way, damaging his daughter with his lack of experience and positive attributes.

Ryder put on a little smile.

"We've been well," he answered succinctly, untruthfully.

"Just been missing you. @Indigo will be thrilled."

He settled down onto his haunches, not quite keen on sharing more himself but wanting to be around and listen. Time spent simply being together had always been valuable to Ryder, even if it wasn't often apparent to the eye. And he really had missed his mom.

ONCE YOU'RE DEAD YOU CAN NEVER COME BACK

WE'RE BURNIN' DOWN THE HIGHWAY SKYLINE ON THE BACK OF

Even longer... Atty had really hoped her mom would have said that Dad had been exaggerating, or at least that the time felt like it flew. No such luck. Jethro was just as far out of reach as it felt, she supposed. Even with an invitation... an impossible choice proposed by her childhood idol. It was hard to keep pushing the disappointment and frustration away, as much as she wanted to be a good daughter.

Atty waited for Ryder to finish his own report, short and lacking as it always was, before pulling the conversation back onto her own half of their forked family tree.

"How were things going, for Dad? He'll... still be back when he said, right?"

It was difficult for her to ask, something in her chest shaking a little at the possibility that she was out of line, on top of the nerves that the answer might not be what she wanted to hear a second time.

A HURRICANE THAT STARTED TURNIN' WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG

This felt very normal to Finley, and she had deeply missed being able to spend time with her children, even if she could tell her questions hit on a slight sore spot for Ryder. His fatherhood had been tumultuous so far, and she did truly try not to pry too much into the topic but it was difficult not to. Whenever either of them had any kind of problem or issue it took a lot of restraint for her not to offer advice or jump in where she was not wanted. Smiling back at him she answered genuinely, ”I can’t wait to see her, I remember how quickly you both grew when you were that age.” A week away could leave you with a completely different child.

The next topic was a bit more touchy. While Jethro had promised he would eventually be back there had no definite timeline been set as to when he would return. She knew he felt like the work he was doing was important so it was not worth arguing over, but she wondered if he felt like he was missing out on their family life as much as he was. Raising her chin slightly she did her best to look optimistic, ”I think so love, things were going well and he misses you, I don’t know how he could possibly stay away any longer than what was necessary.” That last line felt like a bit of a dig and she flushed beneath her thick fur, surprised she had let herself “get out of line.”

They spent the next few hours catching up, as always Atara chatting more than Ryder, but nice to spend time together nonetheless. Eventually the fatigue Finley had been trying to stave off became undeniable and she excused herself with a kiss upon each of their crowns back into the cave to rest.