you do not know who is your friend

or who is your enemy

until the ICE breaks.

A lot of things had been going on lately - leaving Sacred Grove, losing Aiyana, finding their oak tree, building the den, socializing with the pack, waiting for the cubs.. waiting for Triell, and waiting for Marsh. As the days stretched and neither the black nor copper wolf returned worry settled like a constant, gnawing ache in his gut; it woke him in the nights and disturbed him during the day. He had a hard time keeping his mind on anything, whether it be hunting or talking to someone. He'd been expecting to see Marsh within a few days of their transfer, yet he hadn't seen a single, red hair and his scent had since faded from this corner of the world.

Sometimes he felt almost ashamed, that he worried more about Marsh than he did over the pups that were coming, but he told himself that it was fine. Marsh was lost somewhere in this world, and the pups were still in Corinna's belly, so he had nothing to worry about there. Right?

Her call cut through the trees, distorted in the familiar way by trunks and branches yet so different, as the world here sounded different. Ice had been lapping in the nearby creek when her urgent howl had his ears pricking, and for a single, blessed moment he was freed from all gnawing thoughts of his lost wolf. A low cry was sent in answer to hers, his heartbeat picking up, and the moment faded. Marsh would not be here for their birth. Would he be here when they came out of the den in a few weeks? He could only hope so.

Trying to shove the copper wolf out of his mind, Ice doubled back, towards the den they had dug in the rocky thickets. The creek was just a stone's throw away, and the shallow banks and firm ground told him that this creek did not flood. They were safe, or rather, as safe as they could ever be in the wild. Knowing not to burst into the den, Ice plunked down outside of it, a white sentinel who glared daggers at anyone who happened to come close. No matter how much he liked them, it was in these moments he was reminded of the fact that these cubs were his, and the pack was not to know them yet. He didn't know why, just knew that it was this way, and that was good enough for him, troubled and brooding as he was.

The world was growing darker when Corinna's voice startled him out of his grumpy reverie, and his mood shifted entirely. Pups were the reason he'd followed Indru home in the first place, and his mind gave him the image of furballs on little spindly legs. With an excited yip Ice bounded up and spun around in an almost comical fashion, forcing his blunt nose and massive shoulders into the den and crawling a little ways in before stopping. Did she want him in here? Or would she snarl at him until he backed out? He wasn't out in the open, not close enough to touch, just wedged in the tunnel with his tail waving madly behind him. Flattening his ears he keened, asking for her permission to come closer.

.ice aesir

you do not know who is your friend

or who is your enemy

until the ICE breaks.

If he wasn't a wolf, her behavior would probably have wounded him; but as it was, he was a wolf, and despite his generally clumsy ways and empty-headed ways, instinct had always been firm in him. Even when his mind was reeling, tongue tripping over words, his body had always known what to do. Her bared teeth and narrowed eyes only showed him that she was, indeed, mistress in this den, and ready to defend her cubs even against him, if he proved to be a threat. Whining apologetically, ears still back, he crawled closer ever so slowly, tail sweeping the dirt and eyes aside - but still, he kept peering at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to read every sign she sent him.

And there it was, the telltale rumble of a growl, and immediately he ceased his slow crawl, even rocking back a little. Cramped in the den he laid his head on his outstretched front legs, tipped over a little to the side to rest against the earth-and-rock side, silver eyes bright as he stared at the two bundles barely visible in the darkness. He could hear their little sounds of life, cheeping and mewing, smell the scent of afterbirth and milk and pup - his children, gods, who could ever have thought it? Him, a father. "I bet they'll look like you, too," he said with a wolf's grin, tongue lolling out for a moment; Ice was a very pale wolf, with a faint scatter of frosty iron shades across his shoulders and back, but Corinna was a tad darker and he was sure those creamy bundles would have darker saddles than he had. Maybe they would even have green eyes?

"Two boys..." he mused silently, thinking of her last litter; two girls and one boy in that one, and all three lost, one forever. Maybe Aiyana would come back one day, maybe Torrel would, but Rissa never could, even if she wanted. He remembered his excitement about children when Indru had brought him home, and as his eyes fell on his own sons again, they warmed, melting all the snow and cold of his name; his tail kept wagging behind him, his body radiating pleasure. "Our boys," he said after a moment, seeking her eyes and giving her a shy smile.

.ice aesir

you do not know who is your friend

or who is your enemy

until the ICE breaks.

Vividly he remembered Torrel, Aiyana and Rissa tumbling out of the den by the river, into the sunlight - the first time he'd laid eyes upon them, and how small they had been. When Ice had come to Swift River, Kisla, Fenru and Rihael had been over half a year old, and while still very much children, they had looked more like yearlings already. But these two pale boys, unnamed yet, lay against the warm fur of Corinna's side, blind and small and so utterly helpless. Had he, Ice, ever been that small? And how could something that small grow into such a large wolf? He was mesmerized by his sons, staring at them with a thoughtful expression, suddenly understanding how important the pack was - how these two, small beings would not survive without its parents and siblings, and Tali, Cali and Jessie. A pack was more than simply wolves strung together; they were keepers, guardians, of life.

Corinna's voice brought him back, head snapping up to let him look at her instead - for a moment he feared she was serious, and his mind said stupid things like Tree and Thicket, but then he caught her grin and groaned playfully. "Please, no." But she was already talking again, saying Ser, and he waited with bated breath; Serach was the result, Serach Aesir, and he realized that this was the first time in stars know how long he'd heard his last name said aloud. He'd probably dropped it at some point to Indru and Corinna when first coming to their pack, but not quite since; he seldom used it, but here it was, and her gaze was questioning and her silence prompting. "Serach," he said, musing, and let his eyes fall to the boys again. Ser. It reminded him of another name, starting much the same way, but the wolf who had borne it was not particularly nice - not like his mother, Viemina, a name he had suggested to Corinna and Indru last spring.

"Sceral," he said, quietly, thinking of that cruel man who had fathered the winter-pup, Ice. Perhaps he deserved this chance - perhaps this was not only a new start for the wolves of the Grove, but for someone who was miles away, up in the roof of the world. "Sceral was my father. He was.. harsh." Ice's voice remained quiet, heavy even, and he thought of all the things Sceral had done, the rather hard life they had led - was it so strange, what he had argued to do? Was it so strange to try and find justification to lessen the number of mouths to feed? Ice's ears fell back in the darkness; he knew that he would rather starve than leave one of his pups for dead, but Sceral had had the future to think of, and more sons than one (or two). "But if we are starting over, why not he, too?"

.ice aesir

you do not know who is your friend

or who is your enemy

until the ICE breaks.

He felt a bit sheepish, actually, at suggesting his own father's name, but she didn't seem to mind at all. Just repeated them back at him, and his tail stirred the soft earth behind him as he nodded. "Strong names," he said quietly, one ear flicking back momentarily; then he gave a gentle laugh as she yawned, before looking down again. Two pale bundles of fur. A few hours ago they had been inside of her, and now they were outside of her - surely not an easy thing, if the time it had taken was anything to go by, and the size of her yawn. Still, as she laid down, he did not move immediately. Trapped in the tunnel he kept his head where it was, peering through the darkness at the sleeping mother and her sleeping sons. Ours. He felt warm thinking about it, and his lips pulled into a smile. She deserve the rest, bringing two such fine boys into the world.

As quietly as he could, Ice wriggled out of the den. He wasn't sure he'd ever crawled backwards before, and it was hard at first, claws scrabbling uselessly against the dirt, but once he got the hang of it it was easier. The world opened up behind him, and then the sunlight hit the back of his head, too, and he rose up, stretching out his cramped muscles. He would let her rest easy, and shuffled around where he stood, before folding down in front of the den's entrance. For a moment he snuffled at the ground and rearranged his limbs, but then he laid still, head propped on his forepaws. He could doze, if he dozed but lightly.. anything wanting his sons would have to step on him, and that, would surely wake him up. Content with the knowledge that nothing hostile could slip past without waking him, Ice, too, closed his eyes, and fell into a light slumber.

.ice aesir