The Reason - Naira - Jun 04, 2013
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I am exhausted from living up to your expectations
• NAIRA AQUILA •
Isn't that generous?
She had wandered further than she had intended, even stopping for the night confident that the other females of her pack would see to the children in her absence. The sound of crashing water drew her on, deeper into this strange new land. In places, the trees grew close, in others, further apart, but it was the sound that called to her. So similar to the sounds that called to her just over two moons past. Had she the capacity, she would have blushed at the memory.
It had been early, or was it still very very late when she had stolen away from @Triell? A small stab of guilt still lancing through her chest when she thought of it, drawing he muzzle so close, but not daring to touch him lest he wake before she made her journey back up the mountain. She had been half way home before she realised how his scent clung to her and she knew that she could not return just yet, so she had headed back along the serpent to Riddle Heights... It had been a long journey home, but by the time she got there, the smell of her heat had been replaced by something much more ripe and ever since she had been left with the question... Was Rhysis the father of her children this year? Or had it been him?
The trail of her thoughts however was wiped from her mind as the fresh scent became stronger and the noise much louder. She inhaled deeply, half driven by wonder as she took in this new site before her. She bought herself to a seat a short distance from the crashing cascade of the nearest falls and allowed her eyes to travel upwards in wonder. This was a site to put the Bramble Falls to shame.
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RE: The Reason - Triell - Jun 05, 2013
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And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
It seemed that because the Tainn was trying to change himself, look on the bright side nature was against that. It rained, and rained and rained. If to say come join us, dark and cloudy, crying all over the ground for no apparent reason. While the rain felt good upon his body, cleaning many of the wounds he carried, he wished the sun would shine. He wished he could turn around, head back to see Ice, to see Corinna, his nieces, and his nephew. See what they had decided, and be assured by their faces. Triell fought returning to the south. He walked further, and further along the creek avoiding turning for the time being. For now they could think him and Marsh were still scouting, wanting every last piece of this land to be safe. Which in part was true, Triell had after all learned of another pack already, and had found his sister.
The black wolf continued his off beat gait, resting only when his shoulder burned. The scrape on his nose was starting to smooth, and the hole nestled against withers starting to close. While Triell knew where his heart was taking him, he denied that too. He couldn't possibly be traveling to that damn mountain. There was nothing to see up there, no one. If to prove to himself, he choose his path through the Red Fern Forest. Even then he was mindful of his shifting pads, that carried a muffled thump. Without even needing to think his body avoided the wreckage, doubting the rains had cleaned the forest of the tragedy.
With the night as his companion instead of a hot summer cloud he felt comfortable walking where he had not been once he got going. This was where he and Marsh should have been together. Like a boy he imagined following in the stride of the red beast. The voice that was steady, but not by words. He missed that, but he was still in a haze.
The softest song began to sing to him, sweet and beckoning for him. A water fall. What were the odds of that? An unpleasant, uncontrollable shiver shot down his spine. It had been how long since he had seen Bramble Falls? Since he had seen her... Why did he always want them more? Thinking about that might drag him down to a new level of fresh hell.
The Tainn ushered those things in the dark corners of his heart, and instead let the water draw him near. He had no idea how soon he would be faced with golden eyes that plagued his mind.
Triell Tainn
don't bleed
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RE: The Reason - Naira - Jun 13, 2013
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I don't have no ring
• NAIRA AQUILA •
But I can steal one on the way
Through the haze of the rain and the spray from the falls, all the sounds about her were muffled, and it took her a moment longer that usual to pick up on the off-beat gait moving steadily through the underbrush to her flank. Pulling her eyes from the falls, a mere move of caution, her voice caught in her throat before a small whine escaped her chest. She could only hope it had been drowned out by the sound of the crashing water as she finally found her voice. “Triell?” she called out gently, unsure at first. Her... what was he now? Friend? Lover? She didn’t care to dwell on it long, as usual she had herself convinced if she ignored the little problems, they would go away... but he seemed injured, the inconsistency in his steps sign enough.
Her rear lifted from the ground as she took a tentative step towards the dark wolf. Her nose picking out the distinct scent that was Triell, most notable though, was the absence of Swift River, the tell-tale musk that was Corinna and Ice, Marsh and Fenru and Kisla. Her brows drew together in worry, he was so far from home, not odd in itself but the change in his scent was alarming to Naira. She had been convinced he would never leave and so she never dared to ask. What had happened to drive him from his home?
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RE: The Reason - Triell - Jun 16, 2013
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And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
A weary traveler, he looked round the shadows, picking his way around brush rather than through it. When he thought he reached sanctuary, instead he saw undercoat of white, lined with gold, tawny, and silver. The whine she had made would never reach his ears because when he saw her everything in him froze.
He flinched seconds later at his name, withdrawing a step instinctively. The surroundings coming back; falling water, the faint dance of the high tree tops from the breeze, her scent which at first seemed unchanged because he didn't let his mind linger on it. When the tawny leader rose, he again was unable to do anything but stare.Why would she want to see him? Shouldn't she just...leave...disappear.
There was a look to her face, of worry? It made his ears flatten back, his tail stiffen in disagreement. Suddenly now she would fret over him? Was it pity? Was that all it was? The Tainn let out a muffled breath, making sure his tail remained low, the threads of his coat flat. He wasn't sure how he felt, but didn't want to merely be angry to feel. "Naira," he replied indifferently, holding back many a thing.
Triell Tainn
don't bleed
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RE: The Reason - Naira - Jun 17, 2013
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I never had much money, but I got a little saved
• NAIRA AQUILA •
Baby leave the light on, I'll be coming over late
It was the first time he had ever flinched away from her, and it cut through her heart like a knife. Pausing where he was and laying her ears back, she looked away from him for just a moment. After all what had she expected? Perhaps she should have stayed - and what? Left her pack leaderless? Left Datura and Adonis to the care of strangers? Would Datura have come back if she had not been there to send @Mapplethorpe to find him? Would the pack have survived without her? After all, Poison Path had lived on... in a fashion.
When he said her name her eyes flicked back to his dark shoulder, and it was her turn to flinch at the tone he had used. Drawing in a shaky breath she forced down the anger that threatened to lash out at the wolf before her, forced down the hurt. There was so much that had not been said between them, and perhaps she had learned her lesson with Rhysis. Her temper was her own worst enemy.
But what if this was all in her head? Slowly, she lowered her rear back to the ground and allowed her eyes to drift back to the falls. Her voice was small, barely more than a whisper as she said “You’re a long way from home.”
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RE: The Reason - Triell - Jun 17, 2013
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And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
Triell had always given second chances.Indru, Volken, @Naira, even Rhysis. He had looked past to see what others would not. Naira had after all remained a friend despite all that had happened, someone he had cared for. It seemed wrong to think of her as a friend any more. It seemed wrong to care what had happened since their departing. Horrible to wonder if she was happy, if she had what she deserved. Why should he have given her a second thought? Had she? Was one night all she had wanted?
First waking up alone had not bothered him, but the longer time passed the less highly he thought of her and himself. Since she was not brave enough to get to the point, why she lingered he felt that piece of him begin to bend from the pressure. The pressure of never being good enough, of not being able to hold onto anything or anyone. It gave him a sick satisfaction to see her mirror his own response. He would almost think she regretted, but what he would never know.
"What do you want from me?" Cold voice broke the air, raw with the mistrust, pain, and hint of anger. In reaction his muscles tightened in his body, and his long tail jerked behind him to keep the storm that beat in his chest caged. While he wasn't about to unleash everything on her, he didn't have time for guessing games.
"The River isn't home any more," he replied in a much louder tone, not sure why he wanted to cut out her whisper. Was it because he hated how she couldn't say much "What does that matter to you?" The question was meant to be a verbal nip.
Triell Tainn
don't bleed
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RE: The Reason - Naira - Jun 17, 2013
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A face just like an angel, there's a lion in your eyes
• NAIRA AQUILA •
You could tempt the devil, and I wouldn't be surprised
His voice was raw as it crossed the distance between, almost accusingly. Her hackles dared to inch a little higher as she fought a failing battle with her her temper and her lips drew tight across her muzzle. She remained facing away from him, afraid that if she turned that it would be Rhysis standing in the shadow of the falls and not her sweet Triell, who despite his accompanying storm cloud had always had a smile to spare for her.
It was his final words that pushed her over the edge, her muzzle wrinkling up in the beginning of a snarl as she turned to face him, standing back up with her tail still dropped between her hocks. Her ears had folded flat in an attempt to block out the words that she knew she deserved but she didn’t want to hear. “What does it matter? she questioned back, her voice laced with a growl that threatened to continue on after the words had left her mouth. She allowed herself to take a step forward, her tail flicking up but still not level with her spine as she advanced on the young dark male. “It matters because you matter. Tell me Triell,” her words had become clipped as she closed the distance between them, stopping less than a wolf’s length away as she tried to meet his eye. “What was I supposed to do?!”
Now that she was close enough, he would be able to pick out the individual scents in her coat, she wouldn’t even have to voice that Rhysis was gone. Her chest was still heavy with milk that she carried for her daughters and her flanks still carried the excess weight that came after giving birth. Her own hurt was showing now, even though she still stood tense and frustrated. The small amount of movement she had allowed herself was enough to keep herself contained. Control was a newly learned skill, still rusty in it’s execution. It was clear that she expected an answer, and expected it soon.
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RE: The Reason - Triell - Jun 17, 2013
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And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
There was a growl that wanted to be voiced, wanted to demand her eyes to dare meet his. That was not the sound of reason, and he let the energy build into heat upon the nape of his neck, raise long dark hairs down the top of his spine in sharp, unstraightened lines. After all if it was so difficult to be in his presence, she could have withheld saying his damn name. Did she think he would still greet her with a crooked grin?
The Queen of Nomad's Pass began to address the Tainn. First not answers, but Triell received the affect he wanted, or needed. It was hard to decipher those two things. The twist of her lip, meeting a golden pair of eyes proved to him she wasn't trying to pretend, she was real. So the dark wolf braced her sharp words. Anticipation in his fiery eyes, they not once left the honey colored gaze they sought. They fiercely held onto it, knowing they both had to face this. It changed things if she was haunted, if she... How could he believe he mattered to her? Jaws opened to protest, but they merely hung loose till he clenched them tight.
The Tainn held his breath, held his ground when her stride took her even closer. He was almost waiting for the bite of teeth or for the heavy steps of running paws. If she wouldn't say more, it might as well be fight or flight. She was looking at him finally, asking him of what choice would she have had.
How much more that hurt. Did she think so little of him he wouldn't understand about her family, her pack? It had not ever been a thought to ask her to leave them. It had never been that to make Triell question, it was him. The one thing, Triell was certain she would never give up no matter how bad that silver tongue was for her. "You could have asked me to go with you. I would have done anything for you," and his long mane slowly began to fall because he wasn't mad any more. Brows pushed together, puzzled and desperate as he was. "Didn't....don't you know that Naira?" His voice was weak compared to its state before, and he continued to hold her look not knowing what more he could say. The Tainn's head dropped, he closed his eyes. "You loved him too much, too much for me to hurt you that way," he muttered, knowing now she must have had another hard spring;Rhysis had left her again. Much as he wanted to comfort her, he didn't think she would want his touch because she didn't need him.
Triell Tainn
don't bleed
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RE: The Reason - Naira - Jun 17, 2013
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You believe in ghosts, you're the guy I love the most
• NAIRA AQUILA •
You could've had the better woman, but I'm the one you chose
She had become so used to others looking away when they spoke to her that the fact he held her gaze was not lost and with it, neither was the hope that they could sort out... whatever this was, and move past it. One way or another. Only now was it dawning on her that there had always been a wedge between them, one she had not allowed herself to see, but he had proved time and time again that things could never be as they were, and now he was gone. Comprehension was further drawn when Triell voiced his own opinion on what she should have done, and the thought of it twisted her guts into a painful knot.
“But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that again. Not to any of them...” her voice was soft again and her hackles had laid flat with the shame of even thinking it. She had already hurt @Corinna that way once and she wouldn’t willingly do so again. Not so blatantly. While she could claim ignorance initially, she hadn’t sent @Athena back to Swift River either. She had already taken two, she couldn’t take Triell as well. She couldn’t bring herself to ask that of him.
The dark Tainn’s words drifted back to her like a whisper on the wind. The River isn’t home anymore... She had no knowledge of the packs move to Oak Tree Bend, no idea if something had driven them to disband or whether Triell had simply left, and she couldn’t help but blame herself. Dropping her tail back to point at the ground she released a breath she didn’t realise she had been holding. Her ears were canted slightly back as she tentatively closed the distance between them and allowed her nose to trail along his jaw, stopping and pulling back as she reached his cheek.
She ached to bury her face in the thick fur about his neck as she had so many times before but something had told her to stop and so she did. “If the River isn’t home then where is?” She fought the urge to mention the two dark daughters she had left concealed back at the Pass and she refused to outright ask him as he said she should. If he came with her, she wanted to know it was because it was what he wanted, and not simply because he felt obligated to her in some way. But whether she mentioned it now or later, she was sure he would find out eventually.
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RE: The Reason - Triell - Jun 17, 2013
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And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
Dark ears bent back, not relaxed but merely because of the itch in his paws to move. She never seemed to be able to speak of her first lover and he began to doubt that would change with him gone. Maybe, he was wrong and she wanted him back again, maybe she didn't think badly of him despite how she had the strongest right too. Rhysis was a seven lettered word so Triell said nothing more about him. He rather not be agitated because of him. Too much had already been wasted on that miserable monster.
There she was again, not exactly weak, but exposed in her own guilt. Triell could not bare to continue to meet her eyes, thinking he would lose his resolve all over again. Did she look like this to anyone, or was it always him meant to put her back together? He didn't think it should work like that, not when he hadn't broke her, not when she was't his.
He didn't know what to say to that, because she made a great point. Swift River was not just his pack, it had been his family for all of his life. It was the reason he couldn't leave with Volkan. He couldn't let Corinna face another year alone. This year it was different, she had Ice, and her own children. He was quiet, letting his eyes look up for a second still finding nothing worth saying. No, he wasn't sure if he could pour the rest of his heart out, he needed some of it.
Unsuspecting her to come to him, he only dared breathe, trying to pretend she wasn't touching him. It was moment like this he wasn't sure if she was being cruel on purpose or accident. If in the end he was just her fix.
Thankfully he had something else to occupy his mind. "I don't know yet. Marsh and I were scouting this side of the mountain for a new one," the flash of red scattered across his gaze, he had to swallow, had to close his eyes and reopen them. "I....I haven't gone back yet to see if they found it. I don't know how I'm going to tell them that he's not coming back." The words were dragged from his lips, edged with the loss of the red wolf.
Triell Tainn
don't bleed
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