In the darkness of the morning hours, Namara had marked Poison Path's borders, and descended from the mountain. Ever since the collapse in the den she had not been inside the border, Though she remained near it. Namara stayed enough away so that Ash wouldn't find her. If he saw her it was likely she may try to get him to attack her once more, so that he could kill her. Namara shook her head, No then he wins. But still, what better way to torment him forever? He would go insane for what he's done. The large two tone she wolf began to growl loudly. "Why did you have to be that way huh?! You hurt my fucking heart Ash! Why?!" She snarled the words into the air as if they were threats to a known enemy.

With that the she wolf ran deeper into the grove, passed some stale scent markers, and passed them again. It had never even clicked that this was where she had met the she wolf that she had argued with. Her paws skidded everywhere and small twinges of pain shot up her leg, though they were weak. Still, on she ran until eventually Namara could not run anymore, and sat down staring at her slightly crooked paw, if she hadn't fallen off the mountain she could be happy still thinking Ash was just a jerk. But of course like everything else in her life, it hadn't worked out well for her, truthfully nothing ever did.

The brown brute had finally recovered from the awful collapse from the den. Overworking himself had not done him much good and after a few days of much needed (and deserved) rest he had made his way to the borders for another border patrol. When he had arrived, he was pleased to scent the strong markings that remained on the borders while he had been out, the overpowering scent being Namara…perhaps she had taken over his duties for the past days. Unfortunately, Ash had been so exhausted after the den had collapsed on him; that he had no recall of anything Namara and him had talked about before Athena had arrived and he had been delivered safely to where he would be able to rest. With a sigh, he had marked the borders, but not before noticing the trailing scent of Namara leading away from the pack territory. Worry crept into his mind, as he knew that the woman was not one to leave pack territory very often, and so the man had quickly followed her trail, speed being on his side considering the leg injury Namara had obtained awhile back. He knew that her leg was not going to heal, and it made him sad to know that he could do nothing to help his…his pack mate.

Treena’s voice slipped into my head on the trip to find her, That’s right, Ashiepoo. All she is…is a pack mate to you. Nodding his head in agreement to what his past love was saying to him, he padded on, his large brown form eventually coming across the Sacred Grove. Oh, how he had not been down from the mountains in such a long time, the grassy terrain beneath his paws almost making him slightly uncomfortable and feeling bare. It was not a pleasant feeling, but the Poison Path alpha pushed on, raising his head and finally spotted the familiar form of Namara’s brown fur ahead of him. She was running but he could see the toll that it was taking on her leg. Pushing his legs harder, his trot turned into a sprint and he was soon caught up with his pack mate, but now she was no longer running, but sat down and he was almost sure that she was in pain. Ash had realized they had crossed the familiar borders where he had once known a woman…by the name of Finn. That had something of a fling and then the two had eventually gone their separate ways. At one time Ash had almost joined the pack of Swift River and now he knew it had not been where his destiny remained. He was to remain with Poison Path and the poisoned wolves only.

On his way here he had not heard Namara’s screams of his name and anger directed at him. The oblivious man knew not of the pain he had caused the woman in front of him and he merrily plopped right next to her, his emotionless mask set on his face. Clearing his throat, he spoke to her calmly, his deep voice booming through the empty forest, "What is the matter, Namara?" It was bluntly obvious that Ash was concerned about Namara’s well being, otherwise he would not have traveled the amount he had to come and find her. He was here now though and he was going to try to help her…with whatever the hell she seemed to be going through. He was not only a pillar for Athena, but a pillar for the whole of Poison Path.

Her silence was kept and reinforced the moment Ash arrived, You really think that I'm going to tell you what's wrong with me? No instead, Namara rose to her paws and slowly walked away aimlessly. Her pace was steady, while her eyes and ears were both aimed directly forward with not a breath of movement on her face. She had gained a mask of perfect concentration when inside, all she wanted to to was bite him. Tear his hide open and walk away, he had no idea what he was doing. Ruining Namara, she had accepted that he was Athena's now, but why couldn't she at least stay his friend? Did she really mean nothing to him?

Farther and farther she walked ignoring any and all protests that Ash may have had, and when she did eventually realize she was not going to find anywhere to go she simply turned around and fixed a hard stare in Ash's direction, if he had followed he would emerge to see her there waiting. Whatever happened here would show her future with Poison Path, and with Ash. She did not want to betray them and leave, but if Ash could not accept her wanting to be there then she would have to leave. It would hurt too much. Though most may never have suspected it, Namara truly did not want to leave Poison Path.

He truly was shocked when Namara did not answer him and simply stalked away. A small whine escaped his throat, worry truly showing through his mask now. He followed her without a word, hoping that she would soon stop and when she did it was completely unexpected and he had to come to an abrupt stop in front of her. The brown man’s jade eyes held the deep worry that was rising within him. Running away was not something that Namara Laylani did. He knew her well enough to know this and if she did, that must have meant that something was seriously wrong. By then his ears had flattened over his head, perhaps the most physical emotion he had displayed in front of the woman and stared at her with wide eyes. "Nammie…I’m being serious, what’s wrong?"

Her nickname rolled off of his lips effortlessly, sounding completely natural to him and not bothering him one bit. He did not understand why his subordinate was out and about and not near the den when the pups had recently been born. Finally realizing his slip in mask, he replaced his giant slip as quickly as he could and straightened up, returning to how he should have been treating a friend…not anything more… That’s right, Ash. Stick on track. Clearing his throat, he made the question less personally, "Why are you so far away from home with the rest of us?" He sat down, hoping that the woman would keep him company and not run off again. It would waste his time and it would leave her with more pain than she needed. Hopefully, she would stay and chat for a little while.

So many things welled up at the moment Ash uttered her a nickname. It enraged her, and burned her tothe core before crushing her heart once more beneath the torrent of emotion she felt in her heart. This wolf, she had fallen for whom had pushed her away time and time again. She had tried to make it work, but he just wouldn't see, Now it was too late, too late for her to feel the attachment she once felt to the emerald eyed male. There would be no more of their talks, no more of his encouragement. it was all gone and all that was left was a could hard shell.

Before she knew Namara was speaking, "Whats wrong? Everything is! The pack seems like it's falling apart, and as hard as I try to hold myself together I just can't because you Ash, yes you, keep tearing me down! I was fine with you and Athena, yes it hurt but I was ready to accept that it was your duty. But you denied my friendship the moment she arrived in the cave! That's all i was asking was your friendship! Where is it Ash? Where is it now!" She nearly snarled every word before she murmured, "I almost loved you." With that she turned away and awaited his irritable response that would inevitability send her running for a new life.

The man waited for her words, expecting them to be calm and explaining, but what he ended up being greeted with stopped him cold. He could feel a poniard being driven deep into his heart and listened carefully to everything he said. When it came to love now days, Ash had been quite oblivious to everything that was going on. When she finished talking, Ash was about to speak and put her in a better state of mind when her last muttered words brought him to a halt, a small, barely audible gasp escaping his muzzle. She had almost loved him, something he had been dreading any wolves to have towards him, ever since Treena had disappeared. He knew before that he had developed feelings for Namara as well, but in the end, the insanity in his mind ended up eating away at the feelings for the woman and pushing them towards his alpha, who he knew he also deeply cared for…even loved with every bit of his being.

Trying to control his breathing he approached Namara, getting as close to her as he would dare, not wishing for her to snap his ear off. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for what he had to say, "The pack…is not falling apart. You know I won’t let that happen." He paused then, gripping her scruff lightly in his jaws and tugging her head towards him, an asking way of wanting her to look at him. When she finally did, he found himself continuing, freely letting his emotions flood into his voice, "I’m sorry for my words and actions on the night of the cave and I will accept them as my own…but I also need to let you know…I haven’t been in my right mind for months…I’m hearing voices in my head okay?" He struggled with what he was saying, trying to find the right words and hoping that she knew that he sucked at trying to get words out of his mouth. Speaking of words…not very pleasant ones were coming from his mind. Ash!! What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Stop it!! Now!

Ignoring his past love’s voice, he continued on, trying to find the words to explain to Namara, "You are one of the best friends that anyone could come by, Namara, and I don’t know what I did that night, but I know I sure as hell didn’t mean anything I said. I may act like a bad guy and huge asshole…but I’m not. I’m probably one of the weakest men out there…and…and…" he had to clench his teeth shut for a moment, his brow furrowing as yelling continued in his mind. It was something that might have looked like a habit that he had been doing for the past several months…perhaps Namara had noticed this. He had to get the words out of his mouth, "It’s not that I don’t love you…it’s that I can’t. Your friendship has always been right here." Here raised his front paw and brought it to his chest, close to where his heart was beating heavily in his chest. What did you do, Ash? You fucked everything up, just like you usually do! Congratufuckalations. The hurtful words in his head made him cringe, and without realizing it, a sad whine escaped his muzzle. Looking towards Nammie once again, he waited for what she had to say to him and hoping he had not messed everything over the way that Treena’s voice had said he would. Whispering softly, he spoke to her, taking a risk and touching her shoulder, "Please don’t leave…" Please…

Everything came crashing down around her. The sun was replaced with a moon and the skies clouded over, tornadoes and hurricanes raged around her mind. Fire rained from the heavens and her heart was burned to ash. Everything was going away, her life, her world was changing abruptly, upside down. Outwardly in the calm of real life she shut her eyes at his words, not wishing him to see the raging storm in her mind. A few soft whines escaped her maw as she stood before him. When all at once, the last words he spoke cleared the skies and washed away everything. The raging skies turned to blue, the sun returned and the fire stopped coming down. But it could never fix her damaged heart.

She didn't need his love, but she needed his friendship, and she needed to hear it. His heart had been poured out to her for once. For once it helped to hear someone else's pain, so much came together and made sense. His actions and demeanor, the way he held himself, everything. "Ash, I don't have to have your love. But I want your friendship, you don't always have to be strong and sometimes the strongest think to do is be weak." Her words were gentle and her eyes soft, as if she were a mother comforting a pup/

"Strength isn't the measure of what you don't show, it's what you do. It takes strength to be weak at times, and that's all I wanted was to see that you could be weak, that you really cared." Her voice began to shake with her next words, "I thought you didn't care sometimes, you would just leave me. It hurt Ash, you.... you are like a brother I can trust. One that's here, not dead, and not wrong."

With a sigh she looked at him again and gave her tail a wave to show that this was not the end of anything, she was not going to leave. She did not have to go now, Namara finally felt like she had been let in. "The voices are your own, and you can stop them." Though she knew not who it was, nor the connection with the leader, she was ready to accept that he would be gone from her as a mate. It didn't bother Namara, in fact it had lifted a weight from her shoulders. "I'm not leaving, I just want to know if I'm your friend, I don't want anyone but Athena an I to be close to you, you can shut everyone else out. You saved my life, and she accepted me. You are like the family I never got." Silence followed her words, and she looked down, hoping for once he would hear the meaning of it all, and finally understand what hurt her so.

Once again he felt like he saved a life, Namara’s life, again. Ash never wanted anything bad to happen to the woman in front of him. He never meant to cause her any harm or hurt her heart. As she spoke to him, he quickly realized some things. He had hurt her…it sounded almost more than her own brother’s death had caused. He knew that somehow she understood where he was at…that he couldn’t be some of the things that she wanted him to be and he faced these facts too, on a regular basis. He listened to her, his green eyes taking in her smaller body. At least you did the right thing…this time. His ears flattened, as if the voice had whispered in his ear, discouraging him from being truthful.

He flicked his tail and watched the woman in front of him and when she finished speaking he started, "I never meant to hurt you so much. You are my friend….one of the best." Don’t get all soft on me now, Ash…that’s not good. Trying to push the inner voice inside of him away was proving to give him a headache, one that he did not wish for. Closing his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on his fast beating heart beat before reopening them and focusing on the woman in front of him.

At last the words she wanted so desperately to hear. She was his friend, one of the best, maybe things could still be mended now that she knew. For though she was fully aware now that he wouldn't be the one to tell her everything, she was sure that she could always count on Ash to be there when she really needed him to be. It was good to finally breathe again without thoughts creeping into her head that he did not care for her. That he wished her gone as she had sometimes thought. Though Namara Laylani could sometimes be too harsh she could never hate him. She could never truly hate anyone. Not even Tenzin.

So she rolled her eyes and mischievous look came upon her mask. "I guess since that's as good as it's going to get I'm just going to have to accept it." She leaned forward to nudge his shoulder before pointing her muzzle towards home. "Lets go home, I'm tired." Without waiting, as she often did she stepped past him, smiling devilishly and trod back towards the mountains. As Namara walked she turned her head back towards Ash. "I won't leave, but there is something I have to do in a few days when things are feeling more calm. I must go and find the wolf, Brenton was searching for. I have a few apologies I need to make, I acted to quickly to both of them and must make amends." With that she continued onward waiting for him to catch up and speak.

Everything seemed to be much calmer now that he had tried to settle down any heart wrenching feelings. It had never been his intentions to hurt his close friend, as he was quite oblivious to the feelings and emotions that could be passed between a pair. His father had never been to keen on the feelings of love or anything else for that matter. The only thing that had been drilled into him had been devotion, loyalty, and trust…even though his feelings on trust in other had been fading. As the year had passed by quickly, Ash had found himself not trusting as easily and new members to the pack had not usually been able to gain such a thing. For the time being, their small pack could be trusted…at least until another new member arose from the ashes.

Treena’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, Oh how mellow you are, Ash. What about me? Eyebrows creased in confusion, but when Namara’s voice broke through his thoughts, he turned to her, brows lifting. Clearing his throat, the large Guardian followed her, his ears flicking attentively towards her as she spoke. When she did tell him what was going to happen, he considered her words. Being gone for a few days would not be a big deal, making amends would probably be good for the woman before him. She had changed much since she had first arrived with the pack and her loyalty to them…to him had been undying. In a way, she kind of reminded him of Treena…a reincarnation of her. Oh. My. Gosh. Are you being serious, Ash? She is nothing like me. But the voice in his head was still wrong. She even had the looks to be his lost love.

Thinking on her question quickly, for he did not want her to think he was not listening to her, finally spoke, "I see…I would offer to come with you, but I think it would be best if you did this on your own. While you are away, I will take over your duties." He nodded his head as the pair walked towards the mountains, their fur brushing every once in awhile in a friendly manner. He would definitely have missed Namara if she had decided to leave and it would have left a heavy mark in Ash’s chest. He had already lost enough…he did not wish to lose anyone else.