Days passed, and as each moment sapped a bit more from Sagacity's strength and energy, so the time also stole something from her hope that Mercy and Aponi were still alive. Though the temperature had begun to rise, she knew that it was not enough to keep him warm or fed; Sage herself was still clinging to the hope that while out on her scouting missions that she would find something to eat. She'd begun to realize the fear that she too could perish- and if her boy ever did return home, he might return to find that his mother was gone, and live on without her...Or he might go out in search of her, and find himself lost and vulnerable again. For her son, she had to keep strong- but at the same time, she had to keep searching.

The two pups weren't the only wolves from the Keep who had gone missing. Crowe and Faol had disappeared too, and this did nothing to lift Sagacity's spirits. Crowe was an idol to Mercy, and she knew that if Mercy returned he would be heartbroken to find that the guardian, too, had disappeared. He hadn't been present at the hunt- Sagacity didn't even remember the last time she'd seen him. It was for Mercy's sake that she wished the burly guardian would return, and for the sake of the pack- he'd been good at his role, adept at appearing as an imposing and stony sentry who could easily turn others around as soon as they caught sight of him. The pack needed more members like him.

And of Faol's disappearance, Sagacity could say little. He'd been a constant companion for her- and one day, he simply did not return. This proved worrisome for Sagacity, who had allowed herself to fall for him. He was a shoulder to lean on, a guardian through troubled times, a rational and considerate individual. But he too had gone off in the winter and had not returned...So Sagacity made herself cut her bonds with the man; life would have to go on without him. Life simply had to go on.

But some times, it was harder for her to accept this. And under the dim, grey skies she found herself wandering along the smoothe surface of water which was frozen solid beneath her, barely able to perceive the world around her. She was focused on a murky fog of images, faces she'd known, loved, and lost as she sought to find something- some sign of life out in the wilderness which made her feel as though she was a ghost already.

"Hey pretty lady, do you come here often?"

Caught by surprise, Sagacity lifted her head suddenly and wheeled around, tail flinging up over her back and ears pricking forward as she glared into the distance and had to do a double take when she saw him. A wolf with a pattern not unlike her own- darker markings on his muzzle and ears- but with a completely different coat colour. And a man with looks like that wasn't one you'd forget easily, even though the tone of his voice was much different than it had been two years ago. She continued to glare at him, though surprise now claimed her grim features as he continued, and for a second, a corner of her lip pulled up. There was no doubt in her mind- it was Couth. But a second after she remembered him, and mused to herself for the slightest moment on how he'd turned out now that he'd grown into a man, she snarled.

"You little shit!" Sagacity spat and she lunged toward him, but stopped herself when she came within two feet of him. She stared at him for a moment and once again she found herself struggling with her emotions. She hated him for wandering off like a lost pup when she'd rescued him after having done just that- but she'd loved him, in a way. She'd kept him around...She'd wanted to keep him around, find a pack with him and simply live the life they were meant to live, together. Her jaw clenched and unclenched, her lips pulled back and softened, and then tightened again. She didn't know whether to be happy or angry, and the conflicting emotions were too strong for any neutral ground to be found.

She breathed in, held on to the air until it became warm, and then exhaled through clenched teeth. "I fucking hate you for leaving, you little wretch," She hissed. But the childishness of his smile and the sheepish look in his eyes said it all; he hadn't meant to leave her. "You dumbass, wandering off on me," She said, and with those words she swept forward and with a growl she pushed her muzzle into the fur of his shoulder, combing her teeth through the unkempt fur in a none-too-gentle fashion. Her ears were flattened to her skull now and her heart beat like a bird's wings against the wires of its cage. She revelled in the warmth of his skin, the softness of his messy, fluffy fur as she held him close and for a moment, she was able to forget about her woes and embrace someone with her body and her heart.

Fortunately for Couth, he'd made the right decision when he stayed still and braced for impact. Had he shied away, Sagacity would have forgotten about any happiness she'd felt when she'd seen him and would have immediately pinned him to the ground- as she had when they'd first met- so that she could deliver whatever she saw best as a punishment for running off on her. She chuffed when he made an excuse, and she didn't buy it for one minute. "You got lost." She said, almost bitterly. Couth had been a wayward wanderer and a foolish one too. The fact that he'd managed to find her- whether he'd intended to do so, or it'd just been some random crazy happenstance- was still a shock.

He didn't seem to appreciate her rough grooming too much so she tweaked one last lock of fur before she too stepped back, looking up for a moment to see the cool beige of his eyes, glinting and mischevious but fond. Her nose wrinkled and ears flicked back when he spoke. "I {I}fed{I} you for months. I wouldn't forget a freeloader like you," She said, and finally cracked a bit of a smile. She looked at him for a moment, considering what assets he would have if he joined the pack, and weighed them in his favour. He would need guidance- but perhaps not. Maybe he'd grown since she'd seen him last. Maybe he'd smartened up a bit and had begun learning his survival skills; he'd certainly grown physically, even though he was still a relatively small wolf, like herself. She nodded. "It is." She didn't go on, though, because she didn't know what to say next; if he was still a wanderer, she couldn't ask him to quit his life for her. She knew what it was like to want to rove, and just seeing him reminded her of that feeling...But she knew she couldn't leave the pack, not for a shadow from her past.

Loss was a tough thing; it takes a toll and leaves behind traces that could make you respond in ways you couldn't predict. Having lost Couth once already, Sagacity still wasn't entirely sure how to react to the fact that he'd returned- and he was now a man, not a youth. She'd lost Faol and Mercy, two wolves who meant an incredible amount to her- but right now, with Couth, she found herself distracted completely from her loss, having found something once again. He was different than most of the wolves- if not all of them- in her life. Couth was a joker, a trickster- he always had something to be optimistic about, and while he'd been fickle in the past, she found it hard not to forgive him. He was so true to himself- even though she could tell he was sorry he'd left, it didn't control him or change him- he was still a comedian, it seemed, and though part of her soul was reluctant to enjoy anything, she couldn't help but laugh softly. "Well you're as bad at tracking as you are at directions," She said, looking up at him with one quirked eyebrow.

But while he was a funny guy, he could still be honest and sentimental- things Sagacity had always struggled with. As always, she felt slightly uncomfortable when another wolf made some sort of an emotional confession, but with Couth this feeling was faded. He mixed humour in with his words and made it easier for Sagacity to take him seriously without feeling awkward. She reached out to nip at his cheek, an affectionate, possessive growl thrumming in her throat. "I can believe it. You've always been a dawdler." She said, with a small but wry grin.

She wasn't sure what to think when he asked to stay in the pack. He turned his ears back in an appeasing gesture and she remembered what it had been like when they'd been travelling together. He'd been a mooch. He'd joke around and be a fool, but when he honestly wanted something, he knew how to put on the right face, and while it irritated Sagacity, she knew that there wasn't anything she wouldn't have done for him...Until he'd wandered off. She knew that Hollowheart Keep was not a place for the fickle. But more importantly, she wasn't entirely sure she could let him join, and her face turned grey and cold. It was hard for her to be serious, when he asked so nicely, the way he always had, but she knew that letting another wolf in meant that there was another one to lose...And she'd already lost him once.

"You'll leave." She said in a low voice, and refused to make eye contact. Her jaw was set, and she drew in a breath and after a moment, she exhaled slowly. She looked back at him again, but didn't know what else to say. She shrugged, and shook her head. She didn't want to say no- but she knew she couldn't handle it if another wolf walked out of her life.

Though she'd been on the offense moments ago, Sagacity felt herself recoil slightly in shame when she saw how her words impacted Couth. To be fair, he handled the verbal abuse much better than Sagacity might have, and better than she'd expected him to. Rather than getting angry or ambivalent and walking away, he pleaded with her, but not simply begging and hoping, but making a rational argument. She looked up at him, hardly able or willing to believe that he'd been looking for her for two years. Though she knew Couth was capable of telling a good lie, she didn't feel that he was lying to her. She looked away dismissively when he commented on her speed. She felt like saying that he'd been the first one to walk away, but she knew it would only make matters worse, so she bit her tongue. He had a way with persuasion that had always won her over, and she knew he was doing it again.

"I.." She said, unable to respond at first. Would she let him walk away? This struck a chord with her. Had she simply let Faol walk away? Had she let Mercy walk away? She hadn't wanted them to- they had, and she hadn't been able to track or find them. Remembering them, and her failure to hang onto them made her cheeks hot and a lump rise in her throat. She clenched her teeth together. "I wouldn't let you leave, no one ever lets someone they love just leave." She said, frustration and anger tainting her words. "My son," She said, and her voice faltered. "I have a son. I didn't let him leave. I lost him. And I can't find him, and I'm trying, but I can't." She said, and looked away pointedly, as the tears had begun to well up in her eyes, and when she blinked they spilled over, hot droplets of water running down her cheeks. She hated being vulnerable, and she hated the fact that he now knew she had a son, and that he'd vanished. She held her breath to stifle the sob that threatened to overtake her, and shuddered slightly. All she wanted to do was fade and disappear, for this reunion to have simply been a figment of her imagination, not reality.