She wasn't expecting to meet any of her pack mates here. Nari was actually taking a break from them to scout for food. Though she rather enjoyed the scouting part of this particular role. Nari had always been a wanderer and with her copious amount of stamina the silver wolf could easily lope a few miles without any problem at all. She enjoyed watching the scenery go by and sometimes simply loping or running along would help her think.

Even now as the gray wolfs legs thrummed under her lithe body; she felt her pent up frustrations from the dramas during winter and early spring expel, eventually turning into a slight depression. The stale scents of many things passed by her keen nose as Nari moved through fireweed rise now. The scent of flowers buzzed through her head and would have calmed her down more if they didn't make the field look like it was coated in red blood. In fact the more she took the time to look at the field the more agitated the female became. All she could see was the blood of her mate,children, and pack mates flooding her vision.

Nari had found out about Yuka's fight with the badger a while ago. Due to Yuka hiding the scar from others she hadn't been able to really see the damage done yet, but her mind made it look way worse than it was. Then thoughts of her daughter drowning in the lagoon sprang across her head, followed by the still body of her mate lying stiff in the meadow. Other images of missing pack mates dead in various ways tortured the she wolf until she picked up her pace and began to sprint as far as she could as fast as she could away from the color red.

(OOC: she really needs some comfort here)

She had stopped only to catch her breath once the silver woman had reached the edge of the rise where the red flowers were more mixed with other wild flowers. There the flowers were not only red, but blue, green, yellow, orange, and white too. Many wild flowers here, including a few herbs as well, made the scenery a little less colored like blood, and more like the color of a shimmering rainbow. It settled the she wolf a tad bit as she continued to stand there catching her breath and glancing about at the variety of plants around her.

Nari hadn't realized how close to another wolf she had ventured to, not until the voice spooked her and the womans blue eyes snapped around to peer at the intruder. The gray queens eyes softened as she settled her blue orbs on the statuesque build of a male she had accepted into the pack a short time ago. For a moment she stood unable to say anything as she registered the concern in his features. Then the girl sighed and turned her eyes back to the landscape.

"I... I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment." She slid half her body to the ground then closed her eyes. "My... Life has been in a scramble this spring... With so many things changing." She paused taking a deep breath to steady herself then continued. "Normally in our territory I look like I have it all together...b.but I'm falling a part on the inside.." She confessed in the male wondering why she wasn't exactly angry at his presence. Why she wasn't trying to run away again to lose the pain.

She barely heard the first words that escaped the males sunlit muzzle. Though the words did register blankly within her mind. Though she turned her head ever so slightly at his next words. "everyone has their ups and downs, it's just your turn is all..."

"I've had quite a few ups and downs in my life..." She sighed then turned fully to see Adair sitting not too far away. It was then that the breeze picked up, waving her silver guard hairs and catching the whiskers on her muzzle. Briefly her mind registered the scent of rabbit on the breeze. Though she had no blood lust or hunger to drive her forward to catch the thing. Luckily for the rabbit.

"it'll all come together soon enough, besides, you have a whole pack that adores and respects you, we'll help you through the pain..." Adair's words had her thinking. Did the pack really respect her? Or did they dutifully follow along simply because she was currently a lead wolf? Then again there were only a few members left a part from the new recruits Klio, Kassander, and Adair. All of the others had stayed with her during the big split. Even Ash, whom she hadn't liked too much before, had backed her and shown his worth. Nari was thinking much more of the lead male even though he did seem to have a stick up his tail most of the time. She had seen moments where he was kind. Her sons backed her of course, that loyalty between family and blood had held strong. However Nari knew well that one day both boys might ask to leave. With a bitter heart she would let them go, which would leave her with even fewer wolves she could truly trust and respect.

Maybe I should have bred this year? she regretted quietly within her mind even though the reason she hadn't had pups was because she was still waiting loyally for her mate to come back. Her nose wrinkled at the thought. He isn't coming back... If he had been stuck someplace during winter he would have found his way back by the beginning of summer. She felt her heart snap and a growl echo in her chest. He had promised to be there with her forever and now he was gone.

Nari had missed Adair's earlier comment whilst lost in her thoughts, but her attention was brought back to the tall male sitting close by as he spoke lastly. "Besides guarding the borders I'm an excellent listener and I give decent advice, but your secret will be safe with me..." She listened to the tones of his voice not sure why he would want to listen to her problems.

Should she dare trust him? When all others had lost her trust and respect in various ways? A part from maybe her children and Ash.

He deserves my trust and respect as a pack mate... She told herself while glancing back to the male once more. Gingerly the she wolf picked herself half off the ground then lay her body fully upon the bed of flowers nearer to the Asherdu wolf.

"My mate disappeared during the beginning of winter, and I've searched for him for so long. I had hoped he would return during the spring when the snow melted thinking that he could have been stuck someplace out there unable to return.." She paused wondering how Adair would react to that news. Her eyes had steadily closed as the queen spilled to him her worries. "I'm not sure what to do about him... Should I take my maiden name back? Should I keep searching as my hope that he's alive dwindles? Or should I simply move on and keep his name? I have no idea..." She fessed up with her main concerns, though her daughters death was also heavy upon her mind. Maybe if he had been here, he might have helped me keep an eye on our daughter and she wouldn't be dead... Her thoughts strangled the she wolf from within as Nari lay at the paws of Adair trusting him with her woes.

She lay there watching the clouds roll by. Sometimes the clouds would hide the sun and cast a dark shadow over the pair of cavern wolves. At this angle Nari couldn't see much of the flowers around her for they were too close to her face and eyes. However the scent of flowers calmed her along with the sound of her pack mates voice. The way he brought things together in his speech made her wonder if Sloane really would want her to be happy with someone else. While he was with her Sloane had been somewhat jealous and highly protective of her. Would he allow another male to have a relationship with her? She shook her head a trifle thinking that he would have been very hurt if she had ever made that decision, but in the end Nari was sure he only had wanted her to be happy. Like Adair said Sloane would let her be with another if that male made her happier than being with him. Though those weren't her pack mates exact words. It was the way she understood them in her head.

"Many many other pack mates also disappeared this past winter. The pack had almost perished, and my daughter.. She also died just as the spring thaw came." She voiced the other worries in her head feeling a little more at peace with herself over Sloane. Then glanced at the male who from her current position was upside down. "Then the pack almost disbanded after a few traitors decided to up and leave to form their own pack." The way she explained the drama of the past year made it sound less troublesome than it really had been. Even So Nari hoped the male would understand her despite perhaps being a little over dramatic about things. Then she lay there just listening while the urge to hunt that rabbit increased. She wanted to run again. Though not away from Adair. She actually wanted to run with him because for once since this past winter she was fully enjoying another males company.

"You actually remind me a lot of my sister..." This comment that left Adair's lips made Nari smile slightly. She wondered who his sister was. "Was she as naive as I was as a yearling? Thinking everybody could be your friend or that everybody has a little good in them?" She asked closing her eyes once more and berating herself for her past mistakes.

"speech"

As the the woman lie there and listened to what the Asherdu wolf spoke of, Nari couldn't help but nod as she looked into his strange dark eyes. She had never seen such dark eyes of that color before. And oddity much like her own unique blue orbs that in certain light could almost look violet. Then silence came and surrounded the wolves as Nari felt heat creep up her neck at Adair's sorrowful words. She tried to look a little bit more calm as the white male spoke of his sister. Though she was amazed at what he told her. If Nari had been born alongside this other she wolf the gray woman felt as though they would have had an unbreakable friendship. Perhaps they both would have led different lives too. With each other to support during hard times. Blinking back the idea, Nari shook her head knowing that Adair had been there for his sister. So her life probably would have played out the same whether Nari had been there or not.

"It's okay to be hard on the ones you love, because eventually they will understand that the reason you were hard on them was because you loved them. Though it may take some time before they realize that..." Nari gave her opinion on the matter knowing that she was being hard on her children. Or at least she felt like she was being harsh with them sometimes. At other times the she wolf almost thought she was too lax with them.

"What makes me happy?"Narime closed her eyes to think as she heaved a deep breath. The large wolfs presence ever noticeable to the gray she wolf as she drank in his scent and listened to his breathing. "Having someone close who doesn't mind my quirkiness, my inability to stop speaking when I'm overly curious or excited, or my deep need to just lie close and be with someone. A wolf who won't disappear on me when times are tough. I guess... A rock to ground me to this earth that we stand upon." Nari shook as she spoke the words from her heart totally unsure of whether she should be telling this man about her deepest needs and wants.