She had been quite busy with the oncoming winter. She had been doing her best to train Aideen in the art of healing as much as she could. Nina knew that when things were getting tough she wouldn't be able to juggle all the roles within the pack. They had Iopah for hunting and Koda for being a Guardian, and while Nina could certainly handle healing on her own, she enjoyed being a teacher, something she could not always be if she was handling the tasks of a healer, a year round job. The woman had not been expecting her partner to be calling for her today. She had been on her way to spend more time with her children when Koda had called for her. It made her wonder what she could have possibly been called for. The Reinier was never one to call for Nina and if he was, then it must have meant some important matters. Due to this, the mother moved towards where Koda's call had been made, concerned with what could have gone wrong.

The golden brown dam moved easily through the thorny thicket, her jog silent. The alpha knew her lands so well, it was easy for her to act like a ghost since she had been practicing it for the past several years. Often, she still thought of Ruiko's death, it weighing heavily on her heart...a heart that had once again become compassionate of others. She soon had realized the error of her ways. She had treated some so cruelly and she once again could feel her heart beating for those around her. The most recent litter that she had birthed certainly helped, and she loved them quite dearly. This time, she channeled that to the other wolves within her pack and those of her allies. She had certainly learned from her mistakes and she knew that it was time to make up for them. And so when she arrived, she could easily tell that the man she once loved, and would always love, was in distressed. She knew him well, even after everything that had happened, and her heart went out to him. Finally, she spoke, her voice breaking through the silence, "Koda...what seems to be bothering you?" Her tail flicked behind her, wanting to comfort him. But she remained steady and instead awaited his answer.

One thing that Nina had always appreciated about Koda was his unrelenting honesty with her. It was one thing, after all that they had been through, that she could rely on. Though she was slightly surprised by what he brought up. Iopah and Nina had already had a conversation much similar to this, so Nina had assumed that they had spoken over her terms and decided to stay within the pack. That was probably for the best...considering if they left Secret Woodlands would not have a male leader that was worthy of them. The Hervok had already made it bluntly obvious that Miccah was not a worthy companion by her side. She took the time now to settle on her haunches, evaluating Koda carefully as she considered what she could say to him. Obviously, she would tell him the same thing she had told Iopah and hopefully he would take the news without testing her...for the safety of their pack and the future.

So without having to think long about what she was going to say, she made eye contact with his familiar, enticing golden honey eyes. Opening her mouth, she spoke softly, "I am well aware of your relationship and have been for quite some time now..." she remained silent then, allowing him to process the information that she had already known, and the peace that she had given them through knowing this information. "I have been waiting for you to ask me about this...and all I want you to be is happy." She paused again, her throat closing up at what she was saying. Of course, her heart would always beat for Koda, he had been her first love and their chemistry had been undeniable from the start. Through him, she had gotten to where she as today, whether she would have liked to admit it or not...but even the emerald eyed woman had her limits. And so she continued, "So I will tell you the same thing I told Iopah...I am so happy for your relationship, but there should be no question about children....it's against the rules." And it also hurt her to think of him having other children with another. Especially in a pack that she had never abandoned and had created herself with Sloane, whom was also long gone by now. She hoped that from the bond that they had forged over their renewed partnership would be enough for him to understand the decision that she had made.

The Hervok was pleased with how the meeting was going so far, Koda seemed to be pleased with her being happy for him and approving of the new love that he had found. However, it seemed the Reinier was not completely pleased and he was trying to push her far over the edge, much further than she was willing to be pushed. Her mood shift was obvious with her dropped smile and her single eye dimming of happiness. She definitely wanted the happiness, but her need to follow the rules of the pack, which Sloane and she had set in place long ago always won out, no matter how much she wished to permit it. She truly felt like she was sinning and that something was going to swallow her whole. Just the thought of going against the rules made her stomach churn unpleasantly to the point where she shifted and visibly cringed. At such a young age she had always been taught to always be good and when Ruiko and Aeylen accepted her into the pack, she followed their laws unconditionally and had set her own up in a much similar structure to theirs. It was her own way of honoring her fallen lord and keeping them alive in her heart.

Forcing herself to look up at Koda and answer, her eyes glistened in deep sadness. They had always been his way of knowing what she was feeling, and she hoped he made the connection now as she spoke, "It is not my intention to deny you what you want...but you know me well...or...you did in the past." She took a shaky breath, her voice wavering as she spoke to him, "And back then, you use to respect me and love me for following the rules because it was how I had grown up and was literally rooted into me since the day I was born. I never waver from being true to myself, Koda, and if there is even a bit of the man I fell in love with still in you, then you will understand and respect my wishes." After she said this, she broke his gaze, her single eye falling to the earth in front of her, an extremely rare act of submission to her former lover. She spoke, with one last thing to add, her voice hollow, "I don't except anything from you in regards to me...but I will follow the laws that have been set in this pack since Sloane and me founded it. I am so sorry, Koda." She didn't dare look up at him in fear of seeing the disgust and repulsion there for denying him what he wanted so dearly. She too wanted children but she would respect Koda and never force him into anything. The pack would be fine. There were gaining members and the children would soon be yearlings...making it easier for their numbers in the upcoming season.

She hated this. Having to deny him what he wanted. It had never been a problem when they had been a couple, she had willingly complied to anything he had asked. They had both changed and now it was finally taking its toll on them. She watched him carefully, knowing that even though she couldn't see it, he was hurting. While she yearned to reach out to him to comfort him, she remained rooted in place, her single eye remained trained on his right shoulder. She sighed heavily, not knowing what they could do. When he spoke, she glanced up briefly allowing his words to sunk in. They warmed her heart that he actually understood, but his final words were like thorns to her thawing heart. Her single eye narrowed and lips pursed in anger. She was a woman where family mattered more than all else and this pack wad her family. Now that he was leading beside her Secret Woodlands was his home too.

She felt the unwelcome darkness that had been biting at her soul for months now returning. It raged like a fire inside of her and she desperately tried to control it. When she spoke, she was almost surprised at how toneless and robotic her voice sounded, when on the inside, it was like a hurricane, ready to draw her out and rush her into death. "Then you are a dishonor and disgrace to the family here. If you do choose to leave and Iopah follows you...you will never be welcomed back...ever." As the words left her mouth, she felt her heart once again explode in pain inside of her chest. The golden beauty had been so pleased when Koda had risen to leadership, there had been no more need for Miccah to lead beside her. But now all he was doing was abandoning them...abandoning her just as he had promised he would never do. She shouldn't have been surprised that he would break his promise again. So while there was a war raging on the inside, she remained collected in front of her former lover, not wanting him to see how much his decision was truly affecting her.

Her words physically and mentally scarred her. She could feel her heart aching in her chest, but she would never let Koda see him so broken on the inside. All it would do was make him feel worse about the situation they were currently in. The heart that he had worked so hard to mend and heal completely shattered with her final denial of his wishes. She felt her brain shut down along with her nerves as she dully waited for his response. When it came, she barely acknowledged them and hardly even realized that he had left until she had slid to the thorny ground, a pathetic whine escaping her mouth. Her paw was thrown over her muzzle, as if enough pressure and reassurance from herself would keep her together. That this union, between her two trusted members, could end up being her undoing. The fact that Koda had even felt the need to think about breaking laws tarnished her soul, the one he had also sought to mend.

Though she probably should have gone after him and shouted in anger and something that would probably end in tears for the both of them, Nina remained dormant, unable to move and her body barely functioning. She lay for several hours, her ears flicking backwards when she noticed paw steps. Panicked that someone might see her in such a disheveled state, the regal woman took her leave like the silent ghost she was, and tracked her home to the very place that no one would ever dare interrupt her. She needed time alone... Time to rebuild the barriers she had so long forgot to put up.