There was some normalcy with Drestig and Jessie among their ranks again. The winter didn't seem so foreboding with their strength, and loyalty so the leader of the Bend felt his load lighten. Maybe, he could go scout again for what he had lost without extreme guilt hovering over him like a death trap.

They just had to get through winter, he chanted internally. Good would follow the bad. After all Darrah and Zera were thriving, making small hunts of their own. They were growing into fine adults, even if it was bittersweet to watch. And Sceral and Serach remained, becoming a great part of their parents legacy. Would they become leaders as their parents? Find a mate like Kisla? It was just a fact life had to continue. He didn't know how his would.

Needing to be alone he found @Drestig, and easily told him of his want to search, west of their woods. Surely, his friend could see Triell needed to get away after the news of his brother's death. After assurance the scout would tell his children, with haste the Tainn struck out from the woods for the first time in weeks.

Triell really had no idea where he was going. As he had told Drestig he kept to the west just in case. The place he longed for was more of a state mind than piece of earth. He wanted Swift River, but the old one. He wanted the Bend original too. In grief his paws crunched forcefully in the snow. The idea he was never going to see Ruiko fiercely struck him, making him feel more alone.

It was with his misery for company he wandered to the strong reaches of the mountain. Orange eyes narrowed, glaring at its might, if all this madness was its doing. A crinkle of his nose, he leapt at the stone. Slowly, climbing up the cold crags almost wanting, daring it to take him too.

The silence he sought was disturbed by a little voice telling him if Jessie and Drestig had returned, why couldn't others? Triell would parish the thought to end. Ruiko was never coming back. It seemed maddening to hold onto such ideas. Didn't they all evanesce?

The efforts of his climb had long made his paws sting with cold and pain. He was ascending higher, releasing a lot of his emotional and physical energy. Even with breathing ragged, he kept screening for a scent he might know. The landscape seemed all one rock covered with snow, and endless miles to search. It was not in defeat, but concluding a break was in order, he stood still, dragging in the thin, cold air. It only made his throat sting more, and his head pound

Then, he heard his name, if the wind had spoken it. Triell. Long hair bristled along his spine, with the eerie feeling that fell upon him. Warily, he sharply turned his head, letting his fierce gaze quickly cut across the white and grey. He still believed in ghosts after all. It was her voice, the worry in it that helped him find her silver form. Zia. Facing her, he wondered if the inside of himself was reflecting outside by the way she stood so far. The tension in his bones resided, and he silently stared for a moment longer than he should have. He was trying to keep face, and find a logical reason for his current location.

Mouth opened in attempt to say something, but he mutely looked at his paws. He hadn't shared his torment openly, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to start now. It wasn't easy when he thought he would only burden his pack mates, his friends further. There was no denying."I just had to come look here, he finally admitted, ears twisting back as if it was a shame. It was useless, wasn't it? Would she think less of him?