Just as they had for countless weeks before now, the sounds of the forest were the only greeting Raela recieved as her conciousness slowly returned. She lay on her side in the snow, barely managing to open her eyes. She was incredibly groggy, even more so than what had become normal for her. Glancing around lazily she noted the lack of sunlight, and a general haziness of the air. Ah. That was it. Or, part of it. It seemed a thick, frigid fog had set in upon her during the night, now diffusing the very sunlight that would have roused her hours before, in a much more alert state. With a sigh she rolled upright; and her muscles made their opposition to this course of action very clear. The timber wolf grunted quietly in response. She could not rest. She could not risk staying in the same place for very long. The only thing she could do was keep moving; forever hopeful that a pack would take her in. This is what she had done for months, and her body, now exhausted and sore, was beginning to weaken. She had little time to hunt, stopping only to catch what she absolutely needed. Now her ribs were beginning to show, and her face had grown more gaunt. She needed support, and soon.

Gritting her teeth, Raela heaved herself onto her paws; not wanting to waste another moment. She teetered slightly, before beginning the slow drudgery of a long day's walk. She headed east, continuing through the forest and away from her last makeshift bed. What am I doing, she thought helplessly as her paws once again began to ache. After such a long time wandering, futility was setting in on her mind. She was no longer herself. Depression, loneliness, and pain owned her now. She proceeded through the underbrush, head and tail hanging low. Her powers of perception had weakened with her tired body. She still listened, and was still nervous, but slow to react. Her mind concentrated on poisonous thoughts instead of her environment, leaving her in a lethargic haze. A haze not unlike the one impairing her vision this very morning. As she traveled though, the brown she-wolf was able to notice the thinning out of the trees. The fog was thick, but she had a view of at least a quarter mile before her. She was nearing a field.

A clearing was a dangerous thing for a weakened wolf such as she. Stepping toward the edge, she inhaled the frozen, moist air in puffs; glancing around nervously as she did so. While no fresh predatory stench met her muzzle, the distant scent mark of a pack brought energy into her limbs. She cast another weary glance over the landscape, before lurching ahead. Raela stuck to the treeline for cover, now moving at as swift a trot as she could manage. She panted, wincing from the stiffness in her legs; but they would have to carry her a bit longer. The female had met several unwelcoming families on her path, but now she was desperate. She needed to find somewhere safe to rest. She could only hope this group would be charitable.

The scent was growing stronger, and now the trees were becoming mingled with blackberry bushes. Raela drifted to a stop, not daring to draw one step nearer. She needed to be able to flee if they became hostile. Lingering on the treeline still, she scented once again. The air was still heavy and wet but revealed nothing in the immediate vicinity. Mustering what courage was left, she took a few steps out from the protection of the trees. The girl hesitated awkwardly, still staring in the direction of the border. She had not howled for quite a few weeks; it was the worst possible thing to do when maintaining a low profile. Nevertheless, with a deep, shaky breath, she pulled her nose upward. The wolf started tremulously, choking on the notes. She attempted to clear her throat, hanging her head in embarrassment. Furrowing her brow, Raela now released a crisp, pleading call; sending spiral clouds of vapor into the air. Lowering her muzzle, her orange ears and neck quickly perked to receive an answering message. The poor, shabby thing stood alone in the snow, every sinew poised to bolt. Breath came shallowly, quivering out of her chest. Please...

Image © Chris Smith Photography


Manipulation © Jenandra

The fog hung heavy and still as the girl waited for a reply. She stared toward the border, inspecting every tree and flicker of movement caused by a bird's wing. Her ears rotated about, picking up insignificant things. At first it seemed she had been ignored, and that there would be no response from the resident pack. Raela sat, lowering her haunches into the cold snow. She leaned forward on her paws still, hoping she would not have to use them. Before long though, the quiet shuffling of labored steps made its way to her ruddy colored ears. A quivering breath of air told Raela this was a female, and an Alpha at that. Her muscles tensed. Through the fog she made out the form of a wolf sitting atop the hill before her. Raela opened and closed her maw anxiously as the female looked down at her. Before the woman spoke she had already begin lowering her head in submission and respect. When the hoarse words crackled lazily through the air, Raela shrunk further, her eyes snapping to the ground. This was not a friendly greeting in the least, but somehow the words were not aggressive either. If anything, this Leader sounded as ragged and run down as she. Raela instantly knew that what she was asking for might not go over so well.

 

The sandy brown wolf cleared her throat, eyes flicking up periodically to take in the Alpha's movements, should she make any. “I'm... I'm very sorry to bother you,” she started, her voice rising at the end. “Truly, there is no reason good enough for a loner to call on a pack in the dead of winter, when they have so much to worry about already.” Her words were rehearsed, designed to acknowledge the struggles she knew every animal faced in the colder months. She would not waltz in on a pack and demand help with no regard for the sheer weight of such a request. She'd had a good amount of time to think on how to introduce herself to potential packs while wandering on her own. Humility and seeming helpless were not hard for her; she really was near helpless now. Taking a breath, the she-wolf forced herself to continue speaking. "I come to you at my lowest point, Alphess.” Her form finally shrunk all the way to the earth now, her head positioned between two creamy white paws. Sickness began to build in her chest, tightening it and threatening to betray her sorry state through her voice. “I am cast out, abandoned,” her voice hitched on that word, prompting another breath, and the further flattening of her ears. What a pathetic creature I am... the girl thought, a frown marring her face. You pathetic, worthless, useless-  

Useless... She had better tell the alphess that she could do something; no leader let wolves into the pack who wouldn't contribute in some way. Though she doubted her abilites, letting that on would not help her now. For this reason, she tried to regain composure. “If you would be so incredibly kind as to take pity on me, I will do whatever I can to help my pack mates. Though,” she gazed down at her throbbing paws with disapproval, “I know I am not much use to you in my current state, when I am healthy, my legs can carry me for miles without tiring, and swiftly too." Raela turned a little, to look at her own tracks. Sadness and longing now filled the undertones of her speech. “I have not stopped traveling for nearly 8 months now..." she trailed off, her eyes closing with despair. The gravity of her situation was coursing through her exhausted muscles.

 

“And if you, too reject me, I will surely walk to my end."

Image © Chris Smith Photography

Manipulation © Jenandra

Interestingly enough, it seemed the Alpha had taken interest in Raela's plight. The leader had made no aggressive moves, and genuinely seemed to be mulling over the loner's words. Raela got no response to her last utterance; spoken without much thought. She didn't really know what to expect as a reaction anyway. Her eyes drifted wearily over her own foggy trail for a few moments more before returning to glance upward at the other female. She looked puzzled. Raela felt hope and anticipation welling in her chest. Most other leaders had met her with bared teeth by this point. Trying to contain her excitement, she shuffled her paws a little and cemented her head to the ground once more. A plaintive whine would have escaped her muzzle if the other wolf had not begun speaking that very moment. Orange ears tilted up and down gingerly, taking in the woman's curious but harsh reaction. Loner. The word made her heart ache. She didn't want this. The loneliness and the sheer struggle were eating her alive. She had never felt so unloved and so worthless to the world as she did right now. To this woman, she was riff raff, a dirty vagabond. "Were the accusations justified?” Raela's fur bristled involuntarily at these words, and her eyes burned. Her body shrunk backward as if someone had moved to strike the poor girl while the Alphess made her threat. Her tail wrapped tightly around her side in one swift movement as the she wolf tried to become as small as possible. You don't now what I've been put through! Her mind screamed. Her expression was fear and despair, and it only intensified when the second wolf appeared on the scene.

Raela nearly jumped out of her skin. She was already wound tight and fearful from her previous encounters and current emotional state. Her claws gripped the snow, legs tense and stiff as he approached. Was he here to drive her out? Please don't hurt me. She forced herself to be still, while carefully tracking his movements. Luckily for her, he didn't seem the least bit aggressive, only scrupulous. He was far more concerned with comforting what she could guess was his mate. From their scents and posture, Raela knew she must be laying before the two Alphas. This male appeared as run down and depressed as the female, and Raela suddenly felt even worse for what she was asking. Surely something was wrong in their lives, but she had no idea if it was simply winter hardship or something more fundamental about the pack itself. It worried her. The girl tucked her head to the side, letting out a high pitched whine. Her vision blurred with the moisture now welling in her eyes. She was so broken.

”My pack was cruel to me.” Her voice quaked, filled with hurt and rage at the actions of her old family. Boldness entered her blood, and Raela spoke freely. No one had asked her of her past before today. No one had cared. The wolf glanced up at her audience with glossy eyes every time she spoke, trying to gauge their reactions. ”They told me I was weak, useless, that I wouldn't ever have the strength to be anything more than a pup sitter.” She spat those last words. Not that there was anything wrong with being a babysitter in her mind; in fact children amused her. But being condemned to that task for life was a grave insult where she was from. Her ears now flattened hard to her skull, and she clenched her eyes tightly, taking a breath. Ranting about her family would do nothing for her here. ”I couldn't take it,” she continued flatly. ”I... I stood up for myself, but they were much stronger than me. ...Perhaps they were right.” Raela closed her eyes again, the tears soaking into her fur. If they weren't right then, they are now. Look at me! She wept internally. Her self-esteem was quick to sweep those eight months of continuous solo travel under the rug, impressive as it was. She was still pitiful now, and alone, regardless of what a great feat of survival she had accomplished. After a moment of silence and self-berating, Raela's sad eyes found the Alphas again. ”But I don't think what they did to me was right.” She pleaded more than declared the statement, her voice and head rising at the end. Truly she wanted to know what they would think of her words. Her mouth hung open slightly in anticipation.

Image © Chris Smith Photography


Manipulation © Jenandra

She had been so eager to see the Alphas' reactions that she caught her eyes lingering upward for too long, and quickly cast them down once again. Inwardly she flinched, hoping that her moment of weakness was not seen as defiant. The last thing she needed right now was to rub someone the wrong way. Her ears folded back as well, her head now tucked downward into her chest. The Alpha female's quiet sigh piqued her interest. The woman's voice was warmer now, if only by the slightest amounts. Raela felt her chest tighten and swell as the words slipped past her eardrums. Despite her previous discipline, her golden eyes shot upward yet again, the first twinkling of hope and brightness bursting from her irises. The Alpha felt for her; there was no mistaking it. Curiosity brimmed in her throat. What injustice have you seen? She was so relieved to have her opinion corroborated by this stranger. Black Thorn Downs; so that was where she was. The name was a little ominous; what secrets were hidden in this territory? She would have been much more worried about the pack's disposition if she were not so desperate, but the other female's face was softer now, and she felt no harm would befall her at this moment – well, no great harm. The girl's thoughts crashed to a halt as her name was requested.

Looking down, a bitter reality set in. Her full name left a bad taste in her mouth now that she thought about it. She couldn't give them the name of the people who had forced her into this life. She wanted nothing to do with them and no reminder of their existence at all. ”Raela,” she answered, pausing. ”...just Raela.” The Alpha had asked her name. Her heartbeat quickened. The leaders were interested, or seemed to be. The larger male seemed content to let his mate do the talking, and held no discernible reaction. She was impressed at their apparent trust and comfort around each other. It was nothing like the relationship her parents had held; devoid of love and compassion. They admired one another only for their strength and what that meant for their offspring – or should have. Raela was a living letdown of their expectations in that department.

Having taken in their forms, her mouth opened delicately, wanting to inquire about the injustice the female had mentioned. She wasn't sure that a question was even appropriate now, though, and closed her mouth again after some seconds. Neither looked like they wanted to drag out what was probably a sore spot in their histories, and she knew better than to push her luck with them. ”I'm sorry that you've had to deal with it as well,” she offered simply, sincerity soaking into her gentle voice. Maybe here she would be understood. Appreciated. Loved. It seemed an impossible dream for a lowly wretch such as she, but the wolf desired it nonetheless. Everyone needed a ballast of some sort, and lately she had been outright denied anything of the kind. The sandy girl's eyes moved over the Alphas expectantly, but she was careful enough to prevent them from lingering too long. As well as things were going, Raela knew others could snap at a moment's notice, and had no clue what could set these two off. It always seemed that everyone had a secret trigger; an action or set of words that could take them from irritated to violent in a flash. Her body was now more relaxed, but her mind remained sharp and attentive; as much as it could be in her weakened state, at least.  

Image © Chris Smith Photography


Manipulation © Jenandra