Secret Woodlands can't go home alone again

Ever since his brother had gone missing Silentium made it a point to check on all the pack members he cared about, just to reassure himself that they didn't disappear in the night. It was a short list, his mother, @Iopah and@Koda (which was easily done since they rested together) and his remaining brother @Unitas. Despite their disagreements and the jealousy that sat like a resting snake Si didn't want him to go missing too. When he checked most of them it was a brief silent glance, just enough to be sure they were still around, but his mother was different.

As usual he awoke with the dawn and checked the others who were mostly still asleep and thankfully all still present before approaching his mother's den. Ducking his head as he entered Silentium did his best not to awake anyone else who might be around and still slumbering. Sidling up to his mother's blonde form he lay next to her as usual, getting close enough that their warm flanks pressed against one another. Nuzzling his muzzle against her chin he sighed happily, then settled his cranium down upon his own paws waiting for her to wake up.

Silentium rarely slept with the others, unless the weather was dreadful and it was too frigid to sleep alone. When he did however this was the position he took, tight next to Nina, their matching blonde pelts making look as if one grotesquely large wolf slept there instead of two. Despite this though the pup had made it a point to make sure his mother woke up with him next to her every morning, he couldn't bring his brother home but this he could do.

She loved her boys dearly and the fact that one of them was missing was enough to tear the mother apart. She had already lost Tacoma, not even before he was a year. Ashton and Danica were off on their own now, goodness knew where. It was how she had raised her children though, to make them happy and so that they would always be able to think for themselves. It was a freedom that some mothers never gave their children but it had been the way she had been raised and therefore, she knew how freedom felt. Her children deserved whatever happiness could be brought to them and the mother knew that with Tacoma's death, both of his siblings had never truly been happy. Neither had Nina. And now...now another child had gone missing, along with Aideen and Nina often feared the worst, but clung onto the hope that both of her family members would return safely. She desperately clung on but it was trying to wither in her grasp.

No sleep had come to her but she had been jolted out of her thoughts when one of her sons, Silentium, curled into her warmth. Immediately, Nina's single eye opened, finding her son easily in the darkness even if it took her a moment for her eye to adjust. A soft hum was muttered in greeting to her partially deaf son who had come far since his birth. She was pleased with his progress and was so very proud of him. She gently nuzzled the side of her head as she took in his size. He was going to be larger than her no doubt, most likely getting his size from his father. Everything else, he had inherited from the Hervok lineage, much to her pleasure. She didn't need anything more to remind of her Hollow, who was far gone by now. It comforted Nina more to think that he had died and was never returning. Such thoughts couldn't plague her now though and she softly muttered a greeting to him, wanting to know if he needed anything of her.

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His mother had not been sleeping as the boy had originally thought, she immediately responded to his greeting with a warm hum. Receiving the nuzzle gratefully he hummed back in response, the almost silent language they had had since his birth. He had come far since then, if you didn't already know about his disability you probably wouldn't be able to guess. Si still remained mostly silent though, it had become part of his nature to just focus on listening rather than keeping the conversation flowing. His words were no longer drawn out, even if the stray syllable was still over rounded and his voice had deepened into a gruff growl that matched his large physique.

For a long time the pup let the silence drag out, content to just let the quiet wash over them as long as they had each other's company. The emerald eyes focused on his mother's maw out of the corner of his vision, taking in how exhausted and stressed she looked. It was an ever increasing look that had started when Pacem had first been lost and now it seemed as if it might be permanent. Frowning slightly he turned his blonde cranium so he could scan over his mother's whole appearance. The winter had not been kind and had taken another of her children and that seemed to be doing a toll on the Hervok woman. Clearly worried Silentium frowned once more before uncharacteristically breaking the silence, "He's been gone for too long hasn't he?" He didn't need to say who he was referring to, they both knew.

The mother shifted closer to her son, waiting for his response with patience. She knew that he had to be going through a hard time too, and so she put on a brave face for him, not wanting him to waver in his sense of hope, which was of the highest importance. She continued to wait and when his question finally graced her ears, she sighed softly, giving him a swift kiss on his crown in response. She did speak though, her voice soft and soothing, as to not wake the others, "Yes, but we must have hope. Iopah plans on going out soon, with a few others, for a search party." She watched her son closely, knowing that these facts could take a hard toll on him. Nina didn't bother lathering the affections on him too, knowing that such things could warrant harsh, unbecoming behavior. The next words that came out of her mouth, never should have, but did, because in that moment, Nina had forgotten to filter her thoughts. "I don't know what I would do if I lost another son...last time I nearly lost my senses."

She bit her tongue harshly, her single eye watching her son closely. Truly, all she wanted was their happiness but the golden woman was slowly starting to realize that her own happiness was finally deteriorating before her own eye. Throughout her life in Relic Lore, she had been forced to fight and keep fighting and now she was fighting for control of her own pack. It was falling apart and she was at a loss as to what to do. However, she would have to seek those she needed out later, for now was the time for her darling Silentium. Softly, she spoke to him, "You do know I adore you more than anything in this world, right? I would do anything for you, if you just asked." She looked at her son for confirmation that he understood her words, knowing that if he came down to it, she would do whatever he son asked.

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Si accepted his mother's affection easily before knocking the bottom of her muzzle with the top of his own. They had always been a close pair, almost enough for him to not notice that he didn't have a father, almost but not quite. For a while he hadn't even known that most families had two parents but eventually he had learned the truth, through stories and just general chatter he had learned about father. @Koda had somewhat filled the void for him, he was a male figure that the blonde pup looked up to even if he didn't feel any familial attachment. That was enough for him to learn how to be strong and proud, what a good man could be even if he had never had a father around to show him.

His good ear flicked towards his mother at her words and without a thought he answered, "I'll go with her." As much as he was afraid to cross the borders Silentium was tired of doing nothing and he would do anything to bring his mother joy again. Besides if Iopah was leading nothing bad would happen, she could protect him. Her next words floored him, his head whipped to look at the woman and his eyes widened as he stuttered, "You lost.....a.a.a.another? I had another brother?" He had known about his sister @Danica but he tried to suppress the memory of her visits, she came and went as she pleased. It annoyed Silentium to no other, she had no respect for the pack or rules, she never gave any notice but just disappeared without a word until she appeared again.

Another brother though.... that might be different, Pacem was okay and Si liked him even if he didn't care for Unitas' company. The pup was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he missed his mother's next words, how did he not know that he had another brother?

Silentium's words shocked the mother, her single emerald eye looking towards her son for brief clarification. Nina had no worries with allowing her son to go with Iopah, the two would do well to look out for one another. The alpha held the firm belief that her children would have to learn from trial and error. They could live their own lives and if they asked for her guidance, she would be more than pleased to give it. Otherwise, she allowed them to do as they pleased, leaving when they wished to and returning when they felt the need for rooted ties. Silentium, however, had shown no key interest in leaving the borders, but now that he did, Nina could not be more pleased. Expanding someone's comfort levels was always something the Hervok knew...and knew well. If she had not pushed her own limits, she would not have been the leading woman she was today. Of course, it had only come with help from Sloane, who, unfortunately, was long gone.

Now, their conversation seemed to be taking a turn towards the darker times of Nina's life. While the incident was not something Nina was keen on speaking of, she knew that it was necessary for her son to know what had happened to his brother. Taking a shaky breath, the woman's single eye sparkled with moisture as she spoke to Si, "Yes...his name was Tacoma. He-" Nina's throat closed at the thought of what happened and she had to clear her throat once more before continuing. "He had gone off on his own while everyone was doing their chores and he fell from a high point.... He suffered an injury to his head and did not live through it." The mother gave a soft, dry sob as the mental image of Tacoma flashed into her mind. That had been a horrible day, one she would never forgive herself for and she would never forget.

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The expression on his mother's face was strange, Silentium knew it was sorrow as it was one he had seen her wear often these days but never before had he seen her cry. Instantly he regretted his stuttered question, he had not meant to make the matriarch feel any more pain than she already had been. A low whine slipped from his throat as the pup lowered his head in apology before she began to speak, she knew he hadn't meant to hurt her right? He knew how much harm other's words could do, he had grown up the butt end of @Unitas's jokes and tricks, it was never something he meant to dole out. Little did he know how much pain he would cause his mother in the coming months or how quickly their bond could be tarnished.

As much as he regretted the question before Nina had answered he regretted it even more once she had finished speaking. It was obvious that the absolute loss of Tacoma had cut her far deeper than the temporary loss of Pacem. As she let out a dry sob Silentium pushed his head against his mother's shoulder, wanting to bring them both comfort. In that moment the blonde child had become even more certain that he must push through his fear and bring his brother home. His mother couldn't lose another son, he couldn't let her double the pain that was present in her frame now. With his eyes still close and face buried in her blonde fur he murmured, "I'll bring Pacem home Ma, I promise." It was a promise he would not be able to keep, but in that moment he meant every word.

Silentium felt the kiss upon his crown and could only hope that his embrace offered some form of comfort to his mother. He had never been good at spoken word, something that had come with his embarrassment as a pup over how he spoke. The child relied mostly on body language to convey his feelings, something that his mother had never seemed to have a problem understanding. They truly were very close, much closer than him and his brothers ever would be. Which is why seeing her so upset over the death of the brother he had never met and Pacem's absence felt like a stab in his own chest. It upset him more to see his mother in pain than it did that he could do nothing to bring his brother back.

As she spoke Si lifted his gaze so he could look at her expression, noting how serious she had become when she warned him to not go alone. It was an idea he wouldn't have even dreamed of, truthfully he had only crossed the borders a couple of times alone and every time had been terrifying. With the disappearance of Aideen and Pacem it had only further cemented that nothing could came of leaving the territory. Even the thought of going with Koda and Iopah caused his heart to quicken and his mouth to become dry but he would never let his mother know what a coward he was. Instead he only nodded once solemnly, "I should go speak to Iopah and Koda. Don't worry Ma." With one final nuzzle against her chin the boy stood and exited into the cold, he could never go back on his word now no matter how scared he was.

SILENTIUM EXIT