And reminded me why I was there

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Capella took some time to mull over the ashen female's words. Lachesis could never be replaced, and she knew that no one could ever fill her shoes in his eyes. They were an unbreakable pair, best friends until the end. Her heart sunk as she began thinking of her brother. She thought that they would be together forever, and yet life's sickening chain of events had ripped them apart. The sunny eyed girl didn't even know if he was still alive. She could only assume that he must be, for her head wouldn't let her think otherwise. Her body clung desperately to the hope that she would come across him again some day. Without him, there was no one around to love her that way. She didn't have that same bond with any other wolf, and was afraid she never would. The closest she had to that was her friendship with the pear eyed boy, and even then, it was different. Of course it was important to her all the same.

"I'm glad that you two have each other." Sincerity flooded her voice, and her ears laid a little flatter on her head. Their relationship filled her with joy and despair all at the same time. Honestly, she was envious of what they had. It was special, and she hoped that some day she too would be able to hold a love like that. "Anastasia, if I may ask... What was your past like? Before you came here..?" It was something she had been questioning for a while, as both Lachesis and the blue eyed leader had spoken very generally of her past. Only saying that she had memories she needed to rid herself of, and that she needed him to lean on as well. The question was very important to the pale girl however, as she wanted to know more about her leader -- her friend.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

There was not a doubt in her mind that what she and the pear-eyed boy shared was special. It certainly didn’t seem normal sometimes how much they leaned on each other and cared, but they always knew that the other had their back. One yawp and she was sure that XIX would come running to find and take care of her, as would she for him. Some dark part of her was glad that Capella knew how much the boy meant to her but the voice that spoke out always beat it away, telling her that her happiness would come second to his. The two were friends and she would share. Friends shared.

Perhaps what came next was a little surprising but not entirely so. She had generally always kept it to herself, not wanting to burden people (especially other females) with the past she kept locked away. It was her best kept secret but if Capella truly wished to know about her blue-eyed leader, she didn’t see why she should avoid it. “I wish I could lie and tell you that it was a beautiful separation of parent and child, but it is far from a fairy tale.” It would never adequately be a fairy tale to her. A real life nightmare that occasionally beat her to finding her dreams and turning them into nightmares.

“In my old pack, a woman equated to very little. Women were made to puppysit, keep the peace, produce children—and if you’re lucky and placed well among the pack, you could be a Healer.” Perhaps it had just been her that saw how horrible it really was there because of the pain she had been put through but here she knew she didn’t have to worry. These wolves here did not share the same traditions. “When I refused to mate and produce children… I ran,” and for good reason she left out the worst of her experiences not wishing to gain the pity of another but rather for Capella to know that her past was not a happy one. Just one that she was prepared to leave behind for good.

by Sarah

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The pale girl was surprised at Ana's willingness to indulge in her story. Lachesis had always seemed secretive of it when he spoke of his ashen companion, but Capella pegged that to him possessing a good heart. It wasn't his tale to tell, and so he must have left it out for that reason. After all, she wasn't ready to tell everyone where she came from, and so she understood.

A sad smile played on her face as she listened to the harsh past of her leader. The white fae in front of her had come from a world very different than the one Capella knew. Previous to the accident all the sunny-eyed girl knew was love and happiness. She grew up with parents who doted on her as much as they could, and a brother who would have done anything for her. Nobody forced her to do anything she didn't want to do, but Anastasia on the other hand, had almost been forced to be with another who she certainly didn't love. The whole concept was foreign to the yearling as she had never come across the custom of being given away. In her mind, and apparently Ana's too, she was an entity who chose her own life. Capella was sure that when the time came, she would choose who she would love. It was her life, and she refused to be owned by anyone.

"I can't even begin to imagine someone telling you that you had to mate with another." As per usual, questions buzzed around the cream colored female's head. Ones that begged to be asked, and others that only mildly burned behind her eyelids. First of all, she wondered why her old pack held that tradition. Anther prominent query was why the other females took the abuse. Capella for one knew that if her mother had been faced with the same opposition she would have ran, just as Anastasia did. A sense of pride hit her like a wave as she peered over at the blue eyed woman. Her leader had a past just like the rest of the misfits, and it was a very real one. She was smart enough to sense the injustice, and brave enough to leave her old pack. If anyone was going to lead Pitch Pine Trail, she was glad it was Anastasia.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;"> The past that she had experienced was in no way a fairy tale story or one that little girls dreamed of. Anastasia assumed that most women within the pack simply took what they were handed and believed that that was how it was supposed to be. That the traditions of their pack was a normal thing, that other packs shared similar ideas but Anastasia could not see it that way. She didn't see it as a gift. From the moment she was born she had felt complete love for any and all wolves but as she grew up, she realized that what was being reciprocated back to her was not the same as hers. To her, their feelings seemed mirrored to her own. Just a mere reflection of what she felt towards them but not their true feelings. Capella would understand that not everything could be happy and she was sure that she already had seen her fair share of turmoil here in Relic Lore. Shade had had his story and others in the pack likely did, too, but growing up was tough for some while it was easy and loving for others. Ana would have never expected anyone to see her as anything different than a subordinate, or even an Omega, because she had never seen the capability for leader inside of her. Nor had she ever pushed herself to practice leader qualities as that had been engrained to her that a woman could not be leader unless the man who specifically chose her saw a quality of a leader and was a leader himself. Otherwise, they could not be together. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">It was a tough beginning, she answered albeit plainly but there wasn't much more to say that would bring their meeting any lower than it already was, <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">but when you're knocked down the only way to go is up. Anastasia had the responsibility of a pack behind her, to take care of her pack mates and to take care of Shade's two children. It was tough sometimes, seeing as one of the kids didn't particularly take too kindly to her and that was enough reason to feel that sometimes she wasn't as close as she wanted to be. She could only hope that within time all would be kind and that she would have her own kids to raise instead of being the stepmonster.

i'd love more threads, so message me if you'd like one!
looking for friends, potential love interests and role-inspired threads!

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Capella was almost ashamed to have grown up with parents who loved her. She'd had such a good puppy-hood, and the fact that Anastasia did not felt wrong. The ashen leader in front of her was so kind, and giving. She gave up a free life to care for puppies that weren't even her own. Ana took in Lachesis; made sure he was looked after. How was it possible that a being could experience that much bad, but still hold a heart filled with so much good? It was a paradox if the dandelion eyed girl had ever heard of one.

Furthering the paradox, there was Capella. In her life time she had done nothing great. Sure she'd helped a few wolves find their way out of the woods, but in the long run it amounted to nothing. She had never changed anyone's life, nor saved a life, yet she had perfect parents who cared for her more than they cared for their own lives. They put her first constantly. Shouldn't she have been better than what she was? Did they all need a little bad -- or in Ana's case, a lot of bad -- in their lives to become good? It was something the pale she wolf didn't have the time to think about. It might set off one of her problems, no she needed to save it for a time when she was alone, when she could travel somewhere nice.

The next words to leave Anastasia's maw resonated with her. It sort of answered her thoughts in an almost eerie way. The pale female had been knocked down, but she didn't really get back up. Capella fell somewhere in the middle, hoping desperately to pull herself up, but afraid to move from her position. She didn't do anything wrong, but there wasn't much she felt was done right. It was in that weird limbo where she was afraid she might be stuck for the rest of her time. "How do you get back up?" The question might have sounded like a joke but it wasn't. She needed to know.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;"> Anastasia would likely always feel the pain of her past lingering in the back of her mind but she believed it made her stronger. It showed her that even though things had been bad, it didn’t mean that they had to be bad forever. In fact, she had just as much a chance at anything as anyone else did just so long as she pushed herself in the right direction. Look at her now—she was leading a pack when she had never seen herself doing so at any point in her life. It had been given to her because it had been her decision to go along with Lachesis to Shade’s pack. It had been quite a surprise but she didn’t mind. Shade had needed the help with his children and Capella had not been old enough so she was where she was because of being in the right place at the right time. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“The only way that I get up,” she answered and felt as though she was sharing the most precious secret that had ever been known, <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“is to picture yourself in a place that you never thought you could be.” Anastasia waited for a moment to see if Capella could think of a place, position, or with an object that was might desire in the future. After leaving her birth pack it had been tough to find the strength to get up but after meeting XIX she realized that she didn’t have to be that way. She could be strong not just for herself, but for him. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“Lachesis is my rock,” she answered knowing that Capella had sensed it before that the two of them had an unbreakable bond, <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#2AA6E0;">“without him I would not have had the strength. Whether he knew it or not, he made me want to be a better me.”

i'd love more threads, so message me if you'd like one!
looking for friends, potential love interests and role-inspired threads!