Forgive my sins

@Bane only

Ashanti felt really bad about practically abandoning her son. She tried, honestly she had but she was really busy and he seemed to go to Nina for everything rather than her. She wasn't busy at that moment and so she looked for her son. She'd been meaning to try and behave enough to talk to her son and attempt to patch things up between them. She knew things were off and she had little doubt that she was the cause of all of it. "Bane?" She called into the pack den out of curiosity and she tried to have a small smile on her muzzle. She thought she saw him in the den. "Bane, if your in there; would you be alright if we talked for a bit?" She called out in a soft and gentle tone.

The guilt that had ripped through her the past few months was too much to bear; this however, was not why she wished to reconcile with her child. No, the fact that she had failed to be a mother is why she wanted to talk to him. Her mind was trying to process what she was going to say. She tried to figure out how she was going to word things and how she thought he might react to him. She didn't want him to think worse of her at the end of this as when he started. She took a deep breathe and then gulped. She was nervous but not the only one who thought she should do this. Nina had suggested a while back that she do this and so she was finally getting it done.

Once more did he find himself huddled into one of the farthest, smallest corners of the pack den. He found it fitting to cram himself into one place, staring out silently and distantly at his fellow pack members, most of which he only knew by scent and sight though not voice or name. Many more were coming in, finding homes so that they may survive the winter. @Nina had told him a bit about winter. How it was very cold, very harsh, held little food and that wolves joined the packs so they had a better chance to live. Bane did not care for the newcomers. He figured that perhaps they were only using the 'luck of the pack' in order to make it through the winter, not because they actually wanted to be here, not because they actually considered in family. ...And yet, here he was, forever and always seeming to avoid just that - family.

His mother's call came as a bit of a surprise to him. The adults were busy, he knew this. He had watched them from time to time, learning from them quietly as he had always. For a moment he wondered if he should not answer, pretend he was not there. Then, he sighs deeply, pauses a moment, and speaks. "Yes mother..." It is a delicate tone gracing his lips as he shifts from his placement, moving into her direction at the den's opening. "Of course." He places on the softest of fake smiles. He seeks her features, feels her emotion as he comes to her. Instantly does his facial features (neutral as ever) soften for his mother. Though he could never make her happy and though he could never quite understand her, he would have never meant to hurt her.

BANE Aranna

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Ashanti gave a nervous gulp as Bane said of course they could talk. It had all come down to this moment where she would need to try to piece things together and tell him everything. She suspected, as Nina had told her, that he thought he was some regret and Ashanti needed to clarify that he wasn't. She loved him; she was just having a hard time of expressing herself because she had no idea how to be a mother. As she saw the dark form of her son she took one more gulp and asked him a question. "Bane, what do you think of me?" She asked with a slightly nervous tone. Ashanti thought the answer would be something she didn't want it to be.

Hate.

Bane's voice had been almost soft and it was then that she was reassured that he had more Aranna in him. If there was anything that she knew it was that Bane was not and would never be his father's son. Her eyes held a soft and kind gaze. Her mind was full of fear about what the boy could possibly say in response to the one vague question. Ashanti was never there for him and he felt terrible for it. Her snow white fur which had been covered in dirt and other messes was settled down in the almost pristine snow. She offered a small smile or frown.... she supposed it was a nervous smile. Perhaps it was a little of both?

(This post was last modified: Jan 24, 2014, 04:03 AM by Ashanti.)

There is a moose carcass that has been scavenged by coyotes nearby. +15 Health

Most certainly the child had not expected her question. He could have only assumed she would have given him words of reassurance. That it was not his fault. That he was a good boy. Though having her question him was something different. Today, she was looking for reassurance and he shifted in his placement just within the opening of the pack den, allowing silence to pass between them for a bit before he came up with an answer the best he could. "I think your someone who is trying their best, even if your best still hurts." He did not want to sound mean, but no matter what, he still felt like he did not belong here and he was certain it was because he did not. End of story. "Compared to Nina, your way younger... You weren't ready for pups, I guess? I know you did not want me - you couldn't have. Its just hard accepting the fact that I was a mistake. That the only reason why you or Nina allowed me to live is because your good wolves." He speaks this all, much of the wording which had been fiddling around in his mind. The topics and emotions and questions he struck out for answers developing as he aged. He then takes in a deep breath, readying himself for quite a sigh. It was then the scent of food took him by surprise. If it had not been for the dire winter they were dealing with, he would have cast it aside. Food now these days was harder to find and the need for it could not be passed up... "....Mom. I, I think I smell food."

BANE Aranna

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