Stonewatch Timbers So Maybe I Don't Know

An overdue closure thread for @Reyes — Backdated to February 11th, 2017 — Overcast — -4 ° F, -20 ° C

It was sort of like a dream. That he went out yesterday intent on exploring and during the middle of a sudden blizzard, he had walked into the backside of Victoria. They took shelter under the sad branches of a bush and there they had stayed until the storm had passed.

And now? Cottongrass was running away, bee-lining from the fields where he found Victoria to the hills where he and Reyes usually holed up. But maybe the term running away was an exaggeration. After all there was a lot of freshly fallen snow on the ground, Cottongrass had short legs, and the hills were something like a death trap for him. So he shuffled along the best he could, his running away purely metaphorical.

But each step he took had him going further and further away from Victoria. Away from the wolf he spent an entire month looking for. He didn't know what he'd been expecting from her in the first place, when he took it upon himself to find her. That they would explore the world? Go on misadventures for the rest of their lives? She had come to find a pack, and when Grizzly Hollow wouldn't have her, she found another pack to join. It wasn't supposed to be hurtful. But Cottongrass couldn't shake the compulsion to leave. He didn't want to join a pack. And that was supposed to be that.

Except the quiet, petulant part of his brain wouldn't stop whispering that maybe they weren't friends. That maybe they never were and it meant he had to sever ties and disappear. So far he was doing a pretty bad job of ignoring that part of himself. He focused on shuffling forward through all the snow, head down and nose twitching as he went. Because he was intent on finding Reyes, even if it was only an excuse. If he found Reyes he could figure something out later. He could push down whatever it was building inside of himself if he had a distraction.

That's what he kept on telling himself, picking up his pace as he went. All he had to do was find Reyes, ignore whatever was brewing for just a little longer then he'd be fine. And just as he weaved between the trees, heading down one of the many slopes that made up the area, he tripped. He tripped over his own big, dumb, clumsy paws and gravity did the rest as he landed awkwardly on his shoulder and chest and finally—flank. There he stayed, lying on his side with his legs curled towards him in the middle of a clearing. He found that he couldn't bring himself to move even if he was perfectly okay. Maybe he could find Reyes after he just... laid there for a little bit. It sounded like an idea.

(This post was last modified: Mar 30, 2017, 05:34 PM by Cottongrass.)

Occasionally… Occasionally, he did find it interesting to travel on his own. That was not to say he did not traveling with Askan – in fact, quite the opposite. The beta made for good company; he knew when to talk, and when to keep his trap shut. But there was something to be said for finding some space and clearing one’s own head. It couldn’t be done with another’s presence – and unfortunately for Reyes, that is exactly what he found among the sparse timber.

It could be worse, though. There were plenty of wolves he had zero interest in setting eyes on. As far as Cottongrass went? He supposed he could live with it.

Even if the kid might he dead.

The older wolf narrowed his eyes, stepping closer to the familiar form half sprawled out in the snow pack. With a huff, he shoved his nose into the kid’s ruff – and finding that indeed, Cotton smelled rather alive, he gave a soft growl. A moment later, he reached forward, nipping the kid’s ear (as delicately as one could nip, anyways). “Get up, Cotton. You’re gonna catch your death, layin’ around like that,” he huffed, ears flat as he shoved the kid’s back a second time. “Up.”

There is a rabbit's nest nearby. +1 Health

@Reyes

No matter how long he lied there on the ground, whatever he was feeling wouldn't leave. It was like tension under his skin. The kind that itched, crawled, and dug into his muscles and had him grinding his teeth. Because he wanted to destroy. He wanted to let himself be loud and angry and hurt because that's what he always did when something upset him. But that was something the old Cottongrass would do. And nobody liked the old Cottongrass, especially not his parents and certainly not himself.

He liked to imagine that he was different now. All grown up because he was away from his parents' disappointed sighs and the soft, too patient explanations of his Ataatatsiaq when the older wolf had to calm him down. But it was difficult to keep that in mind when Reyes stepped up behind him, nudging and grumbling at him to stand up. Because he didn't want to stand up. He wanted to be mean and hateful and petulant because that's what he was deep down.

(What if he wanted to catch death, his brain whispered before he shut his thoughts up.)

"No." He said instead, bold and childish while he rolled out of reach from Reyes. And it felt good to give into his anger. Even if it was only one small act of petty defiance before he came back to his senses. Because he liked Reyes. The older wolf was nice and cool, which meant he didn't deserve any of Cottongrass' moodiness. So he rolled onto his back with a deep-rooted sigh, yellow eyes searching for the dark grey of Reyes'.

"I found Victoria." He mumbled, the words soft and quiet on his tongue. Like he didn't know if they were even worth saying in the first place. And then slowly the anger left him, giving way to a bone-deep ache just as it always did. His muscles untensed and he let himself sink deeper into the freshly fallen snow beneath his back.

“Yes,” Reyes growled, padding right after the ornery youth. This was nothing like the Cotton he knew. A corner of his mind had to wonder if the ostensible scorn was masking some other misery or disappointment. After all, he thought the boy was going with Victoria to Grizzly Hollow. He couldn’t smell any illness or festering injury, so the fact that he remained – there must be some other cause. Before he could ask after it, the lonely yearling fessed up.

“Ah.”

Given that Victoria wasn’t here with him, the Rye wolf could only make one assumption; whatever romance he thought was blossoming between the little pale wolf and the mystery madam was not to be. He sighed. Dios mio, he was no expert on relationships. Hell, he wasn’t even a journeyman, as far as he was concerned. Reyes clicked his teeth and gave Cotton another sharp shove, determine to get the lad back up onto his feet. Wallowing in his teenage angst wasn’t going to help anyone out. “Well, chaco, you found her. Mission accomplished.”

Kind of. Reyes barreled forward anyways.

“So now that you knocked that goal out of the way, what’re you gonna do, huh? You ready to pack up? Or you plannin’ on just layin’ ‘round here like a sack of flesh and bones until the crows come and pluck your damn eyeballs from your damn skull?”

(This post was last modified: Apr 11, 2017, 01:47 PM by Reyes.)

@Reyes I'm sorry for the pointless Angstgrass, he's a melodramatic baby ;-;

Maybe—maybe—Reyes didn't realize that Cottongrass admitting to finding Victoria was sort of like him opening up to the older male. That for all of Cottongrass' pointless and incessant rambling, he hated saying anything serious and talking about things that upset or hurt him was definitely considered serious by the boy. And as such, Cottongrass wasn't lying on his back looking up at Reyes with soft eyes for nothing. He wasn't getting ready to talk about his emotions and feelings just to be steamrolled by someone he considered a friend moments later.

No, he expected something else entirely from Reyes. He wanted the older wolf to just magically understand that Victoria was gone and Cottongrass felt nothing but abandonment and anger at the she-wolf. That Reyes was supposed to come in and tell Cotton that she was mean and horrible because that's what he thought about her in that moment. He wanted someone to come along and validate his feelings because that's the cycle he had grown used to over his few months of living.

It's how his parents dealt with him. It's how even his ataataasiaq dealt with him.

But Reyes wasn't his family, and it was never before so clear to the younger boy. He was someone else entirely as he continued to barrel on and talk even when Cottongrass wanted them not to. It was enough to leave him frozen, stunned and stuck lying on his back in the cold snow looking up at the man with startled eyes. And he didn't dare try to move, lungs sucking in quick and shaky breaths.

His bottom lip quivered and he furrowed his eyebrows, confusion and hurt clear across his features. Until finally he mumbled—

"You're - you're mean."

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2017, 06:46 AM by Cottongrass.)

Reyes was expecting something. Or rather, something else. The kid had always been kind of emotional, but he’d never been this despondent. It was like he was going backwards in age, somehow – part of the Rye wolf hissed that he should just leave. This is what happened when you tried to make nice with other wolves. Inevitably, they turned on you. His ears pressed backwards, tongue flicking across his teeth as he scowled.

Fuckin’ petty.

“Yeah? You just notice, cabrón?” he snarled, grey eyes glinting dangerously. “You want me to pat your ass and, what? Make her like you more? Turn back time to change whatever happened? That ain’t how life works, mijo, and the sooner you get that, the better off you’re gonna be.”

Dios mio, he didn’t leave the girls behind just to deal with this bullshit. If he wanted family problems, he’d have stayed with his family. This was why he didn’t make friends – because they were never actually friends, they just wanted him around until he stopped saying all the words they wanted. Reyes clicked his teeth, ears falling further and further backwards. His tail lashed like a bullwhip. “You wanna lay here? Fuckin’ fine. I ain’t gonna be mean and get you up.”