Thunder Bowl No one ever tells you that forever feels like home

As Lenae approached the giant crater she couldn't help but fear that it was the location of a  mass grave. That when she peered down into its depths she would see a pile of bodies as tall as a mountain but grotesque beyond measure. She held her breath and inched closer till she stood by the edge, her tips of her paws poking over the side. To her immeasurable relief, there were no bodies in sight,nor could she even pick up a trace of blood in the air.

For all intents and purposes, this place was innocent. Just a big, rocky hole in the ground.

So maybe it wasn't so bad. Maybe this place in general wasn't so bad.

That stranger she'd met...He wasn't the worst, which coming from her meant a damn lot, considering she'd seen the worst the world had to offer. And yet, it wasn't as though she was suddenly cured of her debilitating fear of strangers-or more accurately men. She wanted to be over it, it was old news, it had been for the past few months but as much as she wanted to she couldn't just shrug off the weight upon her shoulders. It was crushing her, slowly but surely.

Lenae let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. How easy it would be to just jump, to forget it all and free fall? Would it hurt, when she hit the bottom? Or would she be at peace? Reunited with those she loved?

She couldn't do it. The thought made her insides curdle and her throat tighten. She'd seen how bodies fell, how they bounced and their bones crunched as they hit rock after rock. If she was going to leave this world...She wanted it to be quiet, peaceful and most importantly, in no way similar to how her kin had died. But now she knew, that she wouldn't always-or rather would rarely ever- get what she wanted in life.

Maybe it would be easier if she cut it short, to eliminate the risk of anymore heartache and suffering. Because she knew for certain she couldn't take anymore, it'd surely break her.

Her thoughts kept swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Maybe she should, maybe she shouldn't? It was a good idea, but then again perhaps it wasn't?

(This post was last modified: Jun 17, 2017, 08:42 PM by Lenae.)

Scouting 1/3

"Bad way to go, don't you think?" Wraith asked from behind, his voice booming in the otherwise deafening silence of the lowlands. The Monadnock Alpha recognized the look on the woman's face even from far off for he'd worn it many times before when his decisions had resulted in the death of his kin. Many nights in his travels south, he had considered throwing himself from the mountains just to rid his head from the ghosts that haunted him. It was cowardice, he'd told himself then, that had kept him alive. In truth, he knew it was the driving need to repent that had kept him breathing. He owed it to them. To live for them, to live for others, to keep such a tragedy from happening again.

While he had no way of knowing her circumstances, it seemed a shame not to at least offer a helping hand, a gentle ear, a guiding nudge off the ledge. He dared not approach, nervous his large size might intimidate her right over. Instead, he walked parallel along the Thunder Bowl's edge until he was a few strides away before approaching it to lay with his forepaws just tipping over.

Wraith kept his gaze averted from her. Not for his own sake, but he sensed she didn't need another reason to startle. Having a staredown with an Alpha male hardly seemed conducive to keeping a lone female on the edge of a cliff calm. Instead, he stared out across the chasm and smiled at the sky along the horizon. "If you're lost," he said gently, his deep tones smooth and low, "I can try to help you find your way." And while he didn't mean in the physical sense, there was that option to. Perhaps she had family he could try to help her find? Someone important, someone who mattered?

The male's laugh was quiet and self-deprecating in a light-hearted, teasing way that remained as tender as he would for an injured pup. "Can't say I'll be very good at it, but I'll help you if you want. No tricks," he promised, meeting her eyes for a heartbeat then so she would know he meant it before looking again to the horizon. "If you wanna talk, I'm a good listener, too." With that said, he lapsed into silence, though he'd be lying to say he wasn't holding his breath hoping she would take the olive branch as an opportunity rather than throw away something worth more than she seemed to think.

(This post was last modified: Jul 26, 2017, 07:57 PM by Wraith.)

Lenae flinched with such force her whole form jolted as though she'd just been struck by lightening.

She whipped around, her paws skittering for grip and traction as she faced the newcomer, who was an unwelcome one at that. He was large, a beast of a wolf ,far more imposing and brutish than Aleksei had ever been. And perhaps worst of all, he was dark, like an empty void or the back of her eyelids. Almost like an nightmare, like those fabled demonic wolves they used to scare Askan with. Except he was real and lurking beside her as he rumbled, his voice as deep and as frightening as thunder.

He had a point of course.

It wasn't a peaceful way to go and yet his words gave her no comfort. He wanted to help and perhaps if she'd taken a moment to calm down and breathe, she would have realised that. But her panicked mind was rushing a mile a minute and so she could think of nothing but 'run, get away! Danger danger danger!'

She stumbled away, unknowingly backing up and drawing closer and closer to the pits edge. if only she had the mind to realise he'd left her a wide open space to escape, if she so desired.

Her heart thudded in her chest and her breathing was quick and shallow, as though try as she might she couldn't draw in enough air. She wanted to ward him off, to tell him to leave her the fuck alone, but his formidable presence choked the words out of her. She'd seen a wolf like him before, back home. He was outsider of course-no Selwyns had ever grown that large- but he stomped about as though he owned the place and even had the nerve to claim her parents den as his own, just because he could.

And he'd said such awful things, his words so venomous.

Were they one and the same? He'd followed her, hadn't he? This was all just a game, he was taunting her and come next spring-

"Please. Leave me alone."She murmured, her voice barely even a whisper as she took another step back.

Though he hid it well, Wraith stiffened when the woman began to back into the bowl in her surprise. It wasn't the normal kind of surprise when someone is simply startled and caught off guard. The way she moved reminded him of a doe who'd been caught before by a wolf and narrowly escaped, and was therefore wiser to tricks. Flared nostrils, wide eyes, pupils like the moon (or rather the void of one). Each sign warned the male that she was one step away from throwing herself off the cliff just to escape him.

The Monadnock male was one of those touchy feely ones. He found comfort in the simple shoulder brushes and nuzzles between pack mates, but he knew well it was not the same for all. It was no giant leap to make that this one would be so adverse to the idea that she would gladly throw her life away to escape the notion.

He dared not take a step closer and instead lay where he was, not wanting even the action of standing to be taken as a threat. So he treated her as he would an abused pup and kept his voice quiet and calm. "I don't want you to get hurt. And I hope you don't mind me saying, but you look like you're needing to be talked off a cliff." His laugh lacked humor, though his gaze - still averted - remained soft. "Literally, as it were."

At least she said something. Keeping her talking was a good option. Or at least listening. "I'm not here to hurt you. I'm leader of the nearby pack." Wraith tossed his head off behind him to bring her attention to the Monadnock in the background. The grand monolith was impossible to miss in the lowlands as it towered above all else. "My name is Wraith Kael of Whitestone Monadnock." He didn't ask for her name. If she wanted to share it, she would give it. He felt no need to push her while in so fragile a state.

In the concept of keeping her talking, Wraith kept the conversation light. In truth, he hated talking in most instances. Pack meetings were painful and he always felt awkward. So he spoke of the ones most easy to talk about. "My mate's name is @Piety. We just had our first pup. He's a funny little guy. Always looking to explore and get into trouble. Gonna give me a heart attack before I'm six," he joked lightly. "@Cyril's his name. Smartest pup I've ever met if I do say so myself." His smile brightened his eyes too obviously for it to be anything less than genuine.

"Listen, hey. You have any family? Anyone like my Piety or Cyril? Someone I can find for you? If not, that's okay. If you need or want, I don't know if you would, but if you do, you're welcome to stay with my pack until you find your paws. We've got a spare den close by if you didn't want to sleep with the rest of us in the main one. It'll keep you dry and the bugs off you at least. And we have food in our caches if you need as well. Ah. Sorry. I know I'm talking a lot. I tend to ramble when I don't know what to say," he admitted. "That's a lie," he admitted again, shaking his head as if annoyed he'd said that. "Usually I just shut up and say nothing. I'll - uh. Do that."

Breathtaking don't-kill-yourself speech, Wraith. Really. Top notch, he thought with annoyance. Poor woman would probably off herself just to not hear him talk anymore.

Lenae needed to calm down, to focus.But it was a lot easier said than done when she was being confronted by a leviathan. She'd always been small and soft, anything but a warrior. So how was she supposed to face him, to gather courage when he could snap her in half if he so chose?

But maybe she didn't have to.

As she heaved in a shaky breath, her ears twitched at the sound of his voice, or rather his ramblings. What was he doing? This wasn't going the way she'd anticipated. He was talking to her, almost cooing at her, telling her all sorts of things about himself and those he cared about. His name was Wraith. Lenae almost laughed at that, such a fitting name for a dark beast and yet it was obvious that he was doing his best to prove himself otherwise. To show her that there was more to him than what met the eye.

And yet, as much as she wanted to believe him, to sink into his calm, soothing words she couldn't shake the fear that gripped her. It wasn't petty or inconsequential, something she could shrug off and get over. It was deep seated, like a seed that had been planted in her centre of her chest. And oh how it had coiled it's roots around her heart. Just looking at this man, this stranger-no,his name was Wraith- was more than enough to give it the strengthen it's grip.

She closed her eyes and shuddered, struggling to block out the ringing in her ears so that she could listen to what he was saying.

Piety. Cyril. Nice names, good names. Not the sort that monsters would wear. And more than that, they were the names of his loved ones, of his mate and his child. Long ago, before this whole mess she would have been rather jealous. Having a mate and a child, that was the life wasn't it? It sounded happy, peaceful and Wraith here hadn't proved her otherwise. And yet now, the thought repulsed her. Having a man, or anyone for that matter, touch her like that was...Spring had been a true struggle and it was more than she could bare to think about.

It made her want to die.

His offer was kind, remarkably so, but it was far more than she deserved. And without really meaning to she found herself shaking her head.She licked her lips, a nervous habit, and frowned as she struggled to find the words. Even now, she didn't want to offend. She didn't have a mean bone in her body and yet there were only so many ways she could dismiss his offer. What if he got mad? What if he thought she was throwing his kindness back in his face?

It wasn't like that at all... She just...She knew she wasn't ready for this sort of commitment and in fact, questioned if she would ever be. She was a ruin, destined to be deserted over and over again.

"I...Don't understand why you'd say that. It doesn't make sense...You don't know me."

Honestly, Wraith was surprised he got a response at all. With his own stilted, disjointed monologue, he half expected her to write him off in a bad way. Instead, she looked pensive. At least, what he saw of her out of the corner of his eye seemed that way. He refused to look over and ruin any slim chance he had that she would realize he was not here to hurt her. When she finally did speak, her words broke a piece of his heart.

It wasn't pity he felt. Rather, it was empathy that flooded the male and left his breaths long and painful. He'd been in that place before; the one that had every voice screaming he wasn't worth the effort or that he was dangerous or just all around no good. And then he'd slammed - quite literally - into Craw and his life had made a drastic turn.

Golden eyes turned to look at her softly, his voice so quiet and kind. "Because I've been where you are. At least, I think so. I don't know your situation and maybe they're not the same at all, but I know what it's like to not feel worthy of something. Someone gave me a chance when I was at my lowest point. I'd like to do the same for you."

The brute found himself wondering if kindness was so foreign and rare these days that peaceful strangers would find it odd to be offered a place to stay on their journey. Chivalry may well and truly be on its way out, but Wraith determined it would not die so long as he was living and breathing.

"There's no obligation, of course. It's only if you'd like a place to stay for a while as your sort things. I won't be offended if you decline, but I'd like to help if you let me. I understand if you can't accept."

That's right, he didn't know her situation. It was nothing personal, and she was beginning to suspect that he wasn't a monster of any sort, but even so she wasn't going to tell him what had happened. What good would it do to keep dredging up the past? It certainly wouldn't make her feel any better, nor was there anything Wraith could do about it.

She had always liked the idea of being saved, of having some heroic gentleman gallop in and sweep her off her feet. And yet, as much as she wanted his help, she knew she couldn't accept it.That if she did she would just be taking advantage of his kindness. He deserved better than that, he had a family to look after, the last thing he needed was her to drag them down, to be dead weight.

It was hard to say no, to refuse the offer of food when she hadn't had a proper meal in weeks...But this would be the second time she'd turned down such an offer since entering these strange, new lands. She wondered if this was something she was going to get good at, turning her nose up at the kindness of others. It was an ugly thought, the sort that made her wince and her tail flick between her legs. That wasn't who she was, back then and now. She had always treated those around her as she wanted to be treated in return, with a smile and a rush of bubbly words!

But what was she to do? He claimed he wouldn't be offended, that she was free to choose but that was far more easier said then done. Especially when her heart said yes and her head said no.

Dipping her head down, Lenae closed her eyes for a moment before she gathered what little strength she had left and faced him once again.

"I'd...I'd like to think about it, for a while, if I may?" She wasn't asking for too much, was she? She just needed time.

@Lenae Sorry for the wait! I'll be better. <3 No, I won't, but I'll try really hard. Scouting 2/3

Wraith let out a soft sigh of relief. She would think about it. Meaning she would be thinking about something other than tossing herself off the damn edge. She was a wolf of few words, and that was fine by him. Wraith had once been as well, but found communication vital in almost all aspects of his life now. With the crisis now averted, the tension in his shoulders leaked away and he lay his head between his paws.

"I came out here originally to scout out the area. Haven't been around here much on my patrols. Little farther out than I usually roam in this direction. But since you here, maybe you have some insight. Have you seen any herds around? Decent bodies of water?" He inclined his head back towards the Monadnock in the distance. "Behind that, probably around the same distance as from here is Kettle Pot Pond. Nice area for swimming if you're ever interested." While an exchange of information would be appreciated, he offered his own without stipulations. If she didn't wish to share, he had no intentions of ripping it out of her.

Really, he should probably leave and give her the distance she seemed to need now. But Wraith was hesitant to leave her so shortly after seemingly convincing her to keep on the good fight. Already, she felt like one of his packmates and he didn't want to just head off without another word.

(This post was last modified: Jul 26, 2017, 07:56 PM by Wraith.)

Once again, Lenae felt guilty that she had nothing to offer him. She wanted to be helpful but she truly hadn't seen anything out here, aside from this massive crater and the rocky hill top.To her knowledge this land was as vast as it was barren. She hadn't seen nor caught scent of any herds and as for bodies of water, well she'd been drinking from puddles.

As to why anyone would want to settle here...She was just being pessimistic, wracked with awful tormenting thoughts. It was so hard to see the good in things when everything was so dark and she felt so alone. But she had to try, even if it hurt to. Or at least that's what she tried to tell herself.

"I'm sorry, I haven't." She ducked her head down as a mournful whine passed her lips. She truly was sorry, she hoped he would find it in himself to forgive her for being so useless. Such a waste of space. "There were some puddles, one almost as big as a pond but..." She shrugged and her sentence trailed off, like a joke that wasn't told right.

Swimming? Was it bad that the mere mention of something fun made her heart clench in her chest? It had been so long since she'd pranced, frolicked and generally had a good time. That's all she wanted, to feel happy and free. Was that too much to ask for? These days it seemed so.Maybe, perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea to drop by this pond one day. Just to have a look about, maybe try her paw at fishing? Fish were tasty and she was so very hungry.

"M-m-maybe I'll go one day. Just...for a little while." She mumbled, more for herself than Wraith."Oh but...Thank you, for not...Hurting me, I mean." She felt foolish for saying it aloud, but she meant it. It needed to be said.

Scouting 3/3

Though the female had no good information for him, Wraith wrote it off as no loss. Honestly, he'd only stuck around this extra amount of time to ensure she didn't immediately do something stupid like jump off the ledge and into the Thunder Bowl as he'd thought when he initially walked up. "It's alright," he assured with a kind wag of his tail. "I won't hold it against you," the male promised with a teasing lilt to his voice.

As the female thanked him for not hurting her, Wraith had to bite back a frown. Just who had she been raised around that it would be her first and last concern? He used to think only the parentage of one Sylvia could be questioned, but the more wolves he met, the more the man realized just how lucky he was with his own family. He would make certain that Cyril never had a need to feel the way this poor woman did upon meeting strangers.

"That's nothing to thank. Don't worry about it. Again, my offer stands. Any time. Just give a call at the borders and either Piety or I will come to greet you." Wraith looked back towards the Monadnock as if reassuring himself of its presence before smiling at her once more. "I should probably head back home. Don't forget. We're just that way if you need anything." Rather than sticking around any longer since it was clear his presence continued to make her uncomfortable, the black brute stood and quietly walked away. "So long," he offered at last in parting.

~fade~