Sanguine Cove she laces up because there's still hell to pay [m]

Caped crusader, she's a newborn leader
But you should see her when her daughter's on the phone
And she wipes the tears away
And she laces up because there's still hell to pay
And it sure feels like hell today, today
And she says
You see these hands they're bruised and brown
They're yours alone
Hold on love we're still going down
Hold on love we're still fighting at home
The war at home

She had noticed the subtle changes in her daughter… subtle changes that had seemed to become drastic with Magg’s return to the pack. As the elder daughter slept, she would seek out the younger one, her intent gaze scanning through the territory as her nose sought to lock onto the scent. There was concern… and wonder as to what had happened to cause such a mood change. Above all, she knew that she needed to talk to her before it continued to spiral into something that became… unpleasant. It was not long before she could find the scent and began to follow the trail.

And similarly, it was not long until she found the charred form of her daughter, moving over with a woof to make herself known as she offered the girl a comforting nuzzle to her shoulder. “Ely, I haven’t seen you around too much lately… is everything okay?” She would ask, her typical kind timbre that came with her bedside manner reaching out to her daughter in the hopes that it would encourage her to open up.

Aquene Slayer

(This post was last modified: Mar 19, 2024, 05:14 PM by Aquene.)

She was perched on a stone that overlooked the lake.

An itch had wormed its way down her core. Discomfort, displeasure. Not with anyone other than herself. On the verge of her first year and she had not gone beyond the lake ever. She had not met any other children her own age. She hardly counted Ally and the girl seemed more inclined to her mother anyway.

So Eclypse continued to give everyone space as she tried to find herself.

Her ears flicked softly at the sound of her mother's voice. She knew this was supposed to be a kind moment. Yet her throat became tightened at once. Worried. What if her mother had brought Magg? What if her mother was upset that she had not been alongside her sister? Guilt and anxiety rippled along her in a vaguely visible manner.

I think so, Yet her voice was choked and Eclypse could not have convinced even herself if she had wanted to.

A frown found her features when the words slipped out. Eclypse was not okay, even as she tried to insist that she thought she did. Aquene didn’t think she thought she was okay either. She would offer another comforting nuzzle, a soft whine escaping as her eyes flooded with more concern. “It’s okay, Eclypse. You can talk to me. What’s going on.” It was okay to not be okay, and it was clear to her now that her youngest was not okay. Was she upset? About what had happened to Magg? About the fact that she would have more siblings soon? Had someone said something unkind to her?

She did not know, but whatever it was, she was determined to get to the bottom of it and help her through it as smoothly as possible. She had dealt with such a wide variety of emotions from most of the wolves in her life that it seemed only natural to step in and try to be the bandaid on whatever wounds lingered under the surface of her daughter’s fur… her job as a healer. “You’re not okay, and we both know it… talk to me.”

Aquene Slayer

just gently marking this m for mainly beginning spiraling depression and hopelessness

But could she?

She knew she could, but she was scared of hurt feelings. That her mother might feel a glimmer of disappointment or that she might see that Eclypse looked into a future with bleakness. That whatever sunshine had been within her had seemingly gone with the winter and not returned.

Is this all there is? She blinked her pale gaze, eyes turned towards her mother. Waiting around for the next bad thing? Seeing terrible things happen to everyone you love? Not being able to help and feeling so small? So lost? The words were tumbling and spilling forth. Her mother had unknowingly, or perhaps very knowingly, cracked open a dam that could not be closed.

Is it even safe here?

She had never thought she would ask that but it had burst free from her and now hung in the air like the heaviest rain cloud.

When she had asked the question, she had not expected the onslaught of questions that came, nor the way they cut into her… because they were the same questions she had been asking for years… questions her youngest daughter was now learning to ask because of what she had endured. There was a gentle whine as she nuzzled her softly again, her daughter’s gaze focused at her. There was a sadness in her eyes because the harsh realities of the world were hard to hide without lying, and that was something she did not want to do. Her daughter deserved the truth.

“It’s not all there is… there is so much out there, but it’s just as dangerous as it is here… terrible things happen everywhere, to everyone… to those we love and those who would love nothing more than to hurt us.” She paused for a moment as she scooted a little closer, intent to be a caring presence. “I know a story… a story of a girl who once had those big questions too…” She drawled for a moment, chuffing lightly with another nuzzle. “Her name was Nova… and she faced so many trials like you and I have… like your sister has.” She introduced for a moment.

“She felt helpless and small… but then she met a wolf named Orion… and he overcame countless challenges with bravery, and determination. He was so incredibly loyal and fiercely protective… and he always said that even in the darkest of times, there was always a light to be found…” There was a pause for a moment before she looked to Eclypse. “No one can turn you into anything you are not, Eclypse… you are not small, or helpless, even if it feels that way right now… the world is hard, and often mean… but wolves who keep their light will never be put down.” At least, not for long.

Aquene Slayer

m for continued depression/hopelessness

The thought did not comfort. In truth it felt as though it only solidified things. That this was all there would ever be. Bad things would happen to everyone she loved no matter what.

"...like you and I have… like your sister has..."

Guilt. Blind and hot enough that it seared silent tears into her eyes. How could Eclypse have ever compared herself to her sister? A sister who had lost a limb, who had faced physical tragedies beyond what the youngest had ever known. Yet the youngest still could not bring herself to gaze upon Magg.

How could anyone have shown her a light now? How could she have held onto a light in these dark times?

I don't...I don't get it. Her voice a strained, tightened sound. She knew it was a lackluster response to her mother's beautiful words. Which only compounded upon her guilted feelings. It feels impossible.

A kind way, just barely, of saying that a beautiful story hardly helped her feel above the water in this moment.

Aquene would run her maw in a comforting manner along her daughter’s shoulder, a soft nuzzle as her voice strained and her emotions became more apparently overwhelming. It felt impossible. She knew a thing or two about that. After Aleister had died, such thoughts had hit her hard. They had returned in force once she had removed Magg’s limb, but she’d done her best to rein it in, if not for herself than for her children… for her daughter who had just lost the leg, or for Eclypse who was still too young to be exposed to such things and yet the universe had forced her hand.

Impossible was such a good word for it.

But she also knew that other packs felt the same… she’d seen the Backwater go through much before their relationship soured, and it appeared Paradise Falls had been going through it recently as well. Sometimes, the universe was simply cruel, and there was little any of them could do.

“In many ways, it is.” She could not find a way to sugarcoat it for her daughter. “Life is impossible… because death is inevitable. It’s a circle of life… and in that circle of life there are many hardships. It’s a certainty, a guarantee, Eclypse.” She wished there were a different reality. “What matters is not what happens, but how you handle it.”

Aquene Slayer