Hush Meadow What is life without love?

(Directly after this thread. Shade is no threat or anything, but really upset)

'With life comes death, with death comes suffering. So why live life to suffer when you can do that in the afterlife?'

Shade padded along the mysterious and gut wrenching forest. His eyes darted from side to side as the forest spoke to him. Spoke in a way only he could understand, he was going demented. But he continued forward, haunts from his past, haunts of a future. He saw his father, his father killing Shadow and his mother. Killing Rose and all his extended family. Killings all over. He was sole remainder. The bloody mountain that his father stood on. He extended his claws leaping, but then he woke up.

'In this life it's not what we have, but what we believe... because it's not my time.'

Shade hadn't realized it, but he'd wandered from Willow Ridge for a few days. Thinking on how Rose was confused, hurt a bit too. Rose wasn't sure if she loved him the way he loved her. He understood and would be there for her. For that is what true love is. He would be her best friend if he could ot be her mate. He would be her mate and her best friend if she allowed him too.

'If you loves something, set it free, if it comes back, it was meant to be...'

He had wandered from his home at Willow Ridge, all the way to a sweet spot for him. Hush Meadow. The exact place where him and rose had become mates. Sworn to each other for good and bad times. He was always to be hers when she wanted him. She was to be his if she allowed him. That was the nature of things.

'I seal my fate with a single kiss, one to take to my dying breathe. To hold me through the night in your arms.'

He wondered if anyone else in the world had a connection like him and Rose had. He wanted to howl his sorrows away to the night. He held it in as long as he could. But eventually in the middle of the afternoon, he couldn't hold in the pain once more. He yowled and yowled, randomness with no key point. Just hurtful sounding yowls into the air. His eyes dry, but full of sadness. They seemed to always be full of sadness.

'This life is worth something, but the key is finding the golden flower, the love of your life. The thing you live your life to find.'

One last howl and he collapsed to the ground. Nothing but pain throughout his body. Rose was holding him to the planet. There was nothing else for him to live for. Nothing but her friendship, her love. It was the small, British accented she wolf. It was his small, British accented she wolf.

'I'm holding out for a hero, she's got to be strong, she's got to be fast and fresh from the fight...'

If only wolves could cry. Then Shade could cry his sorrows away, but alas, he had no luxuries like that. He only hoped that no wolf would find him like this. If they did, he'd be too broken and bruised to care. After all that had happened, how could he move forward? Rosealia wasn't sure if it was really love or puppy love. But he knew, she was his hero. She was his Kryptonite. His Superwomen.

(This post was last modified: Dec 29, 2012, 04:16 PM by Shade.)

This is a good chance for Nari to find out what real love is. This is set after the meeting with Sloane and Nina at the lagoon. Say Shade knows that Nari and Sloane were close even if she doesn't know it yet. Maybe they can talk it out.

Narimé was often heading into Hush Meadow recently to hunt. It was a good place to go for deer because the landscape was so open. The wind swept away most of the snow leaving bits of tall grass poking through the crust. The deer liked to forage and dig at the snow to get to the plants underneath.

Te silver she wolf was creeping up on a pair of does with scrawny fawns at their sides when the yowling of some crazed wolf spooked them. Narimé didn't even try to chase them as the four deer bounded away towards the safety of the forest. Cursing under her breath the young woman turned her body towards the sound of the wolf yowling. The voice was very familiar to her, then suddenly Nari realized that the voice was that of her pack mate Shade.

Worry pricked at her heart as the young hunter loped towards the sound of the darker males voice. Her paw steps brought her to a very depressed Shade. What happened? Why's he so depressed? She thought silently while giving him a "woof" for a greeting.

"Hey what's wrong Shade?" Narimé rubbed herself against his side then playfully butted her head against his dark shoulder.

(He's ranting in his head a lot about his mate so I have long long posts. I luvs Narimé! I'll assume she does know about Rosealia and Shade. Being that Nina asking if he'd resolved the conflict with her....)

<i>'Life is not worth living without you...'</i>

Shade's attention snapped to a new scent. Though he was broken down in emotions and stress. He was always alert, in case a panic arose from his loves mouth. In case she needed him immediately. For he knew that the only time he wouldn't be there, that was the time she'd fall for someone else. The time that she'd throw him in the trash for nothing. He was not going to be nothing in her life. Even if it meant sitting there, a brother, a best friend to her. Comforting her, being there for her when she needed it, that was his job.

<i>'You'll be on the walls of the hall of fame.'</i>

He then focused more on the looks of the newcomer. Hoping that it wasn't Rose or another Ridge wolf. His scents were confused so he could only pick up wolf scents, not identify them as loners, strangers, other packs, or family. <b>'What is life with death, what is death with life? What is time without sorrows, what are sorrows without time? I build myself up for the moment I fall. I fall for the moment that I rise above the rest, the time I win the greatest prize. Her. The time that I end up in her hall of fame like she is in mine. The moment I win her love back from the men who have stolen it.'</b> He whispered to himself, he knew there were others trying to win her over. He'd go and try as hard as he could to make sure that he was the one to stand out.

<i>'You're my own personal brand of heroin, you're my drug, my life, my love...'</i>

The newcomer came into view, his eyes nearly watered when he thought he saw Rosealia. But in truth, he was delusional. Who it really was, that was yet to be discovered. He looked harder and harder, he could see little of whoever it was, he started to see the frame of a larger yearling. <i>Narimé</i>. Shade looked down, he didn't want someone, especially a pack mate to see him this way.

<i>'I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind, I left my body lying somewhere in the
sands of time...'</i>

<b>”Hi Narimé.</b> He said softly, trying to put up a good poker face. But nothing could hide his sadness. Not even his best pokerface. For what was the purpose of trying to hold in your emotions when they just fall into a large heap to shoot you in the face? <b>"That depends on what you mean by whats wrong Narimé."</b> He said simply.

<i>'If only you understood my pain, for my torture can lead you rich. My happiness can leave you poor.'</i>

Thoughts tugged his mind, almost taking his soul and dispersing it amongst the lands he laid on. Amongst the air he breathed. Narimé was lucky to have close friends like Sloane. He felt like he had no one.

<i>'It only takes one break to ruin a perfect heart...'</i>

Narimé furrowed her brows in concern for her friend. She had snapped at him during her reunion with Sloane because she had not wanted him or anyone from the pack to know how close she was to an outsider. The young woman believed that Shade might be angry with her still. Even if he tried to hide his sadness Nari was good at pciking out her friends and families emotions. She knew how down he really was.

"Well maybe we could help each other out some..." Narimé sat next to him though not too close and closed her eyes sighing. {I}Was it okay for him to know about her and Sloane? Were Shade and Rosealia having trouble too? Nari knew that they had been close, though she didn't know about them being mates. She noted how they had once been very close but for some reason had drifted a part, and for the longest time the silver wolf had been curious about them. What was their real relation to eachother?

A few minutes passed while Nari tried to figure out what to talk about. She had been so confused as of late. She didn't know what to think about much of anything. Who was her real family? Who were just friends? Where did her loyalty lie? She had no idea.

"..Do you....well.. What. What is love? and I mean not like family bonds but real love? How do you know if you have found it?." She yipped the question out quickly blushing at the same time. What a stupid question to ask, but maybe Shade might know, if he had really loved Rosealia...

<i>'What is life without love?'</i>

Shade looked at her, no one could help him. He was nearly to the point of no return. One question was brought to the surface of his broken mind. His troubled mind, what is love. <b>"Narimé, I'm not sure if I can answer that question. I once knew that answer, but it's too dark now. Everything seems to plummet into darkness, into anger. Everything when I'm around.”</b> He said, what <i>could</i> he do to truly love? Had he already done all he could. <b>”I once thought it was giving all you could to the love of your life. But in truth, that's wrong. True love is being there for who you love. No matter if it's as a best friend, as a mate. Just doing whatever you can to be near them. If you love someone, set them free and if they come back, it was meant to be.”</b> He said, he knew the feeling of love, loss and heartbreak.

<i>'Nice work you did, your gonna go far kid.'</i>

Shade looked at her curiously. <b>”Why do you ask Narimé?”</b> He wondered what was going on. Was the young female lovestruck as he was? Was she in love with someone? He wondered what was going on. There he laid, the first place he remembered in his head by instincts. This was where it had happened, where he and Rosealia had become mates. <b>”This is where it happened.”</b> He said simply.

<i>'Here without you baby, but your still on my lonely mind'</i>

He looked again up at the sky, the clear skies would not give him any warmth today. Only the harsh and cold bitterness of life. What was wrong with him?

(This post was last modified: Dec 09, 2012, 10:19 PM by Shade.)

Narimé twitched her tail nervously after Shade asked why she had wanted to know what love was. Her skin prickled uncomfortably under her fur as she blushed.

"Well..ahhh.. I think I might love someone, but..I don't know what to do about it.. Nor did I know if it was really love that I had for him.." She didn't speak his name.Though after a bit of thinking Shade might have come to the conclusion that it was Sloane. Especially since she wasn't really close to any other male within the pack spare for Shade and maybe Guiness.

"I..I always thought love was trusting someone who trusts you back...an..and that you wouldn't ever want to leave that someone's side..." Nari flustered while she spoke then shook her mane and began grooming her chest fur just to calm herself. Shade was a friend. There shouldn't be any problem talking with him.

Thinking back on her meetings with Sloane, Narimé evaluated her memories. Back then she didn't know why she felt such a pull towards the male. She knew he was kind and caring to all, but even his personality couldn't have been the reason for her to want to be with him was it? The young wolf wondered if he liked her as much as she thought she loved him. Don't be silly Nari, if he didn't love you back then he wouldn't have come back to the Lagoon just to find you.. She told herself quietly while she sat beside the dark guardian.

"D..do you love Rosealia?" She asked tentatively wondering if she might overstep some invisable line and make the black wolf angry.

<i>I promised you, but I can't hold out anymore.</i>

The words rang in his ears. The one word that caught his attention and he knew it was time to tell. <b>"Narimé, I do love Rosealia with all my heart. I think it's time I let you in on a little secret between the leaders, Rosealia, Nina and I."</b> He said, he would release no more information. He tried to decide how to word it, his thoughts in a flurry to decide how to say it. He had indeed jumped to the conclusion that she loved Sloane. He wasn't totally blind to the meeting at the lagoon. <b>"Narimé, Rose is my mate."</b> He confessed, little bits of emotions in his eyes, but he had recovered his poker face.

<i>You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me.</i>

He looked at her in search of her reaction. <b>"I kept it a secret from everyone. I had to tell Koda and Elettra, they're my leaders and they deserve to know. I was an emotional mess going to see Shadowstorm and I ran into Nina. She managed to get it out of me. As well as my terrible past. I've done many bad things Narimé. I try and stay strong, but in the end, I just collapse."</b> He said, he hoped desperately that Narimé could keep a secret like that on the down low. If not, his life and reputation in Relic Lore was gone. Or at least to all who had heard about it.

<i>Why does god curse me so?</i>

<b>"Am I right to assume that the one who you love is Sloane. I've seen you around him and I'm not completely blind to that sort of thing. I'd say that if he is, you've picked right. He really seems like he loves you. You can trust me Narimé."</b> He said, he could keep a secret darn well. He'd proven that more then once. <b>"At the hunt, you talked about Koda... and Elettra. How they were not mates. How did you know that Nina was his mate?"</b> He asked. It was the only thing that puzzled him.

<i>It's not my time.</i>

He looked around. This is where it had happened. <b>"I come here often, I have to admit I was surprised to find you here. This place brings back beautiful memories of young love. This is where Rosealia became my mate. Where I feel most safe. It feels as if Willow Ridge is turning against me with each passing moment."</b> He kept blabbering off about several things. He was completely calm.

So that's how it is.. Her view on Rose and Shade had been correct. They were close. Nari thought about the word mates. You had to have absolute trust, faith, and loyatly in your partner in order to even think about choosing them as a mate. Closing her bluish purple eyes Nari thought about the word further and how it compared to her own life. Her face serious and thinking as Shade spoke.

Then Shade spoke about how he'd run into Nina while visiting his sister. He fretted over how she had gotten the truth out of him about Rosealia being his mate, plus how she knew about something bad that the guardian had done in his past.

Narimé's eyes opened and she looked at him in surprise. She couldn't think of Shade having done something bad to anyone, but then again perhaps she really didn't know him all that well.

"Shade.... I don't know what you did in the past, but ever since I have met you, you have been a caring wolf, a great guardian, and a kind soul. Whatever you did back then doesn't make you a bad wolf now. " She tried to help him feel better about whatever was dragging her dark friend down. She didn't bother asking what he had done for that would probably just make things worse.

Then he brought up the love topic again. Shade mentioned that he believed it was Sloane that she was talking about from a few minutes before. Nodding her silver gray head shyly she listened to the black wolf speak.

"I'd say that if he is, you've picked right. He really seems like he loves you. You can trust me Narimé."

She was surprised at his answer, but inside it felt good to know that Sloane did really love her. She grew warm just thinking about it and a smile appeared on her thin muzzle. "Thank you Shade.. " the young womans eyes gleamed brightly as she looked happily to Shade still listening to his voice.

"Nina? aha.hehehe.. " She laughed. It had been a complete coincidence that she had found out about Nina and Koda. "While Nina was in the den still being treated for her injuries I had gone in there to clean up a bit. We spoke for a while about stuff.. She was really nice. But then at the end of our conversation she started getting sleepy.. " Nari smirked at the memory of Nina being high on the smelly plants that had littered the den.

"She started talking about Koda and I had asked her if she was his sister cause Nina told me her last name was Reinier. hehhehe..Well she said no and well Nina isn't old enough to be his mom so..plus she had said she was very close to Koda... I got the idea that they were closer.. " She tipped her head to the side thinking back to that meeting. It was rather amusing now that she thought about it.

Shade must need a stress outlet... She observed how he kept on babbling on about stuff. But Nari didn't care. She was a very good listener, and the young hunter didn't like seeing her friends sad.

"Yeah, well other than the Lagoon this place is one of my favorite places to be. I come here all the time to hunt, plus I feel rather at home on my own out here... " She answered him then stayed quiet wondering if he had anything else to get off his shoulders. It seemed as though Shade had been very stressed lately.

Shade nodded, Nina was some piece of work wasn't she? He had no idea what had made her so pissy. But his opinion, was that she was pissy. "I heard Nina was here, but she knows what I did and I cannot bear to face her now. In case you couldn't tell, she doesn't like me. She showed that in the Lagoon and I just cannot face her. I can be a coward at times. I really can be." He admitted to Nari. She was probably one of the only wolves, who he could talk to. The other ones, they were Rosealia and Kyrie. Both he could talk to, and he had not yet heard of Kyrie's return to the ridge, so that left Nari and Rose to talk to.

He hid his face in his paws, he couldn't bear it anymore, why was he even here for nothing except disappointment? It wasn't his time to begin, not one bit and he couldn't bear it. He was ready to just end. To not live up to the disappointments he'd created. It made him think of one last wolf he could talk to that was not Shadowstorm ,he could always talk to Shadowstorm. He could talk to Koda, he'd done that recently and Koda encouraged him to track down Ari and to make amends with her. But no luck so far. It was worse a feeling then he'd ever had. He refused to tell anyone then who had already known about Ari and what he'd done to her. It wasn't nessisarily for public ears and he wanted to keep it that way.

His tail brushed across the snow lightly as he began to blanket the meadow, it began to fall and he looked up to it. He wanted to howl to the heavens about all that was fucked up in his life. But he couldn't bear to it. He couldn't bring a single word from his voice now. Not anyword but one. "Rosealia." He whispered to himself as he looked up. Gabrielle Rosealia Slayer.

(343 Words)

Watching the dark male quietly Nari listened. Her ears twitched at his thoughts on Nina. She couldn't agree. But then again she wasn't on the females bad side. All the silver girl could do was try to help out her conflicted pack mate.

"I guess Nina might be one of those wolves who holds grudges for a long time. But.. I think, you will just have to continue being who you are today. Be the great guardian you are and prove to her someday that you are no longer the wolf you were in the past. Everyone changes Shade.. At least that's what I think." She smiled and wagged her tail. Now Nari truly felt bad about snapping at him when Shade had shown up during her meeting with Sloane. She shouldn't have acted that way and now she knew that.

"Stop looking at all the bad you have done and look at the good." She spoke up after watching the dark wolf lower his head down into his paws. It seemed as though he was trying to hide himself from the world. Narimé had never felt that low. Or maybe.."When Chantille told me about da.. I.. I couldn't do anything but run away.." She closed her eyes remembering the sadness that had engulfed her. "But that isn't the same feeling that he's having right now.." She told herself while nuzzling her friends dark scruff.

Silver fur stuck closely to her skin as Nari felt the chill of a small breeze. She watched closely evaluating Shade's emotions and body language. He reminded her of when she had ran away from Chantille and strayed around lost in the wilderness unwilling to head back to Willow Ridge. She was so lost and confused back then. All until she finally cried howling her grief to the moonless black night. Then a few days later she had felt hollow but better and decided to come back here to the willows. Even with her youth Narimé knew that sometimes you just had to tell others about your feelings. That was partly what howling could help with.

"Just let all that feeling out... " She stepped back not knowing how else to help the older wolf. Then she raised her silver head and let out a howl. The howl was filled by her lingering sadness over Sibo's untimely death. "I didn't even get to see him before he died.." She closed her eyes and continued her howl.