Mountain of Dire Tell me how, I could fly away.

Content, would be the word to describe how she felt. Yes Namara would always hold a tiny spark of love that was above friendship for the thickheaded wolf, but she could never hate him. She could never blame him for his decisions either, for he had acted upon what he thought was best for her and the back. They needed a leader, he had to be that leader. It had never seemed to be a matter of want from what Namara saw, but a matter of duty. Things had happened as they had and now she had to live with it, and if that meant giving up what could have been then so be it.

The large greyish female trotted alongside Ash in silence, locked deep within her mind. So deep that the wind hardly occurred to her, not it's direction nor it's speed, or any scent that it may carry. Her only sense of direction was through her eyes, for her ears did not hear at all all her senses were temporarily held back by her mind. What now? Silently she thought about whether or not she would truly be able to be as close to Ash as she wanted to be, whether he would accept her, let her in, or if she would just be shoved away again.

So absorbed in her own mind she was she had not yet spoke in any type of response to Ash's permission to leave and search for the pack that used to be here. Initially it took Namara a moment to remember what he had even said, "Thank you Ash. She used to live in this area, but the back that was near here seems to be gone. So I have no idea where to even look." Namara thought for a moment how convenient it was that when she wanted to find someone to apologize too that they had moved. She shook her head with a laugh, "Guess I shouldn't be such a bitch sometimes, I wouldn't even need to go and do this." She smiled at Ash waiting on some kind of jab about how she was right that she really was a bitch sometimes.

They walked together in silence after Ash had given his blessing to her and he did not mind that it would take the woman some time to respond to his long string of words. When she did, he flicked his ears at her. If what she was saying and his track of mind was correct, along with the facts that he had gathered from previous encounters, Namara was speaking of Swift River. His past with them had been short lived, as he had been close in joining their ranks back when Finn had tugged at his heart. She was not more though, and Ash knew he had happily moved on with Treena. The thought of the female brought another heavy weight into the back of the alpha’s mind. Every time he thought of her, the familiar ache would burn in his chest. It had been over a year now and the woman was still constantly on his mind. He had never found out what had happened to her and the pain in his chest had never ceased. Speaking to Namara, he kept the sadness he was feeling out of his voice, though it resonated clearly in his eyes, "Perhaps you should check the other side of the mountains? From what I could scent when I investigated briefly, many wolves have been traveling over."

He was still walking at an even pace, not much slower than Namara, but enough to the point where he would be able to help her if her leg suddenly gave out on her. When her voice resonated next to him, a small smirk was placed on his lips, "Yes you are a bitch…but it’s one of the things I love about you." Not realizing his slip up, Ash continued on, his thoughts consuming him as he walked along the woman’s side; the girl that reminded him so much of his former love. The words almost got caught in his throat as he tried to get them out, but in the end, they were received, "Can I talk to you about…something? I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but I’ve only talked to my sister about it." His wagging tail behind him dropped…the brute was still sad…still grieving over his losses. Each time he had tried to cover up such emotions with angry and had done so successfully. At this point in time though, he was just finished with fighting…he needed to get some things off of his chest. And there was no better way to do it than with someone that he trusted.

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

Her luck at Ash's first string of words was great, he knew where to start looking for Jessie. Just as she open her mouth to respond Ash said something she had not expected. An abrupt stop in her pace for just a split second belied the lightning bolt that had struck her when he had spoken. But she regained her composure quickly and switched her tail across one of his legs and spoke in a teasing voice, "Don't you go turning into a girl on me Ash." A small smile tugged at the edge of her lips, still unaware of the sadness that remained in his gaze.

For all of their lack of watching one another's gazes he would miss the same look upon her face as she paced ahead of him a little more. For his words had sparked an errant flash of thought into her head, every time he had comforted her when she was hurt. How Ash had been the one to stand by her even when no one else had. All the time she spent standing in the rain staring after him with a heavy heart, Though she still wished she knew, she surmised that she would rather have Ash this way than not at all.

When he spoke again she stopped dead, and her face froze in a look akin to wonder. She turned to face him and sat down once more. Ash had helped her, and now she finally felt she could return the favor. "What is wrong Ash, I won't judge you, you should know that by now." Her eyes softened for him and her ears swiveled to perch atop her crown. Namara was listening and waiting, prepared as much as she could be to hear out every one of his problems. "You cannot tell me anything in this world to make me uncomfortable around you Ash go ahead and try it. I may not be as bad as I once was but I am no pup." Her words almost scolded him for thinking she would be uncomfortable, yet they still held comfort and a teasing note to show she was not actually upset with him.

He moved fluidly not expecting his friend to come to a stop, though, when she did, Ash was quick to plop down across from her, his muscles already tensing up at the thought of talking about himself. He seemed to be doing a bunch of uncomfortable things today. At her words, a small grin broke out on his face, for reasons unknown to him, but none the less he listened to what his trusted pack mate was telling him and eventually, he could feel his stone cold façade fade into a face filled with pain and sadness. So much loss he had encountered in the past year. It was definitely worse than any other year he had encountered in his life, but he supposed that it was why Stars set out a path for him. If something happened, there was always a reason for it and it was one of the reasons why he thought what he was doing with Athena was the right thing to do. It’s what the voice in his head and heart had led him to do at that time and he had acted on it. Sometimes he would look upon Namara though, always in the shadows, and wonder if he had really made the correct choice, but then a biting voice in his head would break himself out of his concentration before he could really think.

So taking a deep breath while his demon was still silent, he spoke in the calmest voice that he could muster up, "When I first entered this area, I met a woman named Finn. She was within the Swift River pack and over time we grew close and truth be told I was extremely close to joining Swift River…but then one day I met Treena, who had known my sister, Nina…and this was before the whole…me trying to kill her thing. At first, I thought she was quite odd, but she appreciated me because I gave her a chance. I was somewhat familiar to her, because of my sister…though she did not know this at that time, and we grew closer. Much closer than Finn and I ever were. Treena truck with me through everything and did not question my motives when I was afraid that I would loss her. Eventually, she joined Poison Path and at that time I believe Rhysis and Naira were still reigning." He stopped for a moment, letting his story sink into both of their brains. He did not even know he was going to be able to speak of so much without collapsing of heart attack. He was just glad that he was getting through it and so he pushed on.

Clearing his throat again, he continued to speak, "Eventually, I too joined Poison Path…but not soon after I joined Treena disappeared and I never saw her again…but then you come and both of you look almost exactly alike and you both act the same. I had to push you away at first because in all honesty…it hurt so much to be around you. I had done such a great job of pushing my hurt away and then you showed up and waltzed in. I became even more guarded and withdrawn…especially with Ava’s current disappearance…and then there was Belladonna." His ears flattened on his head, as if he were ashamed of what he had done and in truth he was. What had happened was embarrassing, but he was glad he was getting all of these things off of his chest now, otherwise he had no clue as to what he would have been able to do in the future.

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

As Ash began to speak, many things began to click in Namara's head. The war with the other pack, the dark stranger's actions on the mountains while Namara lay dying. Ash's constant bad moods, everything clicked in place, she flinched visibly betraying her feelings when first he spoke of Finn, and secondly of Treena. Even when the names Rhysis and Naira were mentioned her eyes did widen and pupils dilate, for a split second she was transported back to the mountain and that horrible day. She remembered faintly the name "Rhysis" after she had limped home. At some time between the mountain and coming to in the den she had heard the name.

It awakened a second memory within her, soon after she arrived, Kamota had been alive and a she wolf with a pack had come to the borders. She had demanded her children be returned to her, they had to have been the former Poison Path leaders. From what she gathered, Naira and Rhysis were now harboring and agenda against Poison Path now because the leadership had been taken from them. In their eyes it must have been unjust for such hatred that Rhysis had wanted a wolf whom he didn't even know dead. As far as the children Namara still did not know Belladonna had stayed only to disappear.

She was silent through his pause, soaking up what he had said, letting it settle into her mind, locking away and holding it. Then Ash spoke once more, This time Namara's lips began to rise as he compared her to this Treena. There was no sound to accompany this, when he added two more names into the proverbial hat. At first Namara was furious, she thought for a moment she had been used by Ash, that he prayed upon females just to make himself happy. But after a moments consideration her lips lowered and her fangs were sheathed. "Belladonna, I assume was the one pup who stayed right, I think I remembered her name soon after I arrived. That makes Treena your old.... friend right? You only even act the way you do around me because I remind you of her?" There was just a hint of disbelief in Namara's voice, truthfully she couldn't believe that she really thought maybe she was just special. "Who is Ava?" Namara felt as though a tree were falling towards her and that there was nothing she could do to stop it.

For once, it felt so good to lay everything on the table…until he saw the rise of Namara’s lips. Instantly he flinched away, knowing it was too good to be true that he could bare his soul to her in such a way. Eventually, the bare of her fangs disappeared and Ash got to relax slightly. Then the questions came, the ones that Ash knew he would not have been able to stop for anything. He thought them over for a minute, wincing inwardly when Treena’s name was mentioned. Damn, he should have tried and avoided that topic all together. "Yes, Bella was like a daughter to me…and Treena was…my mate, at the time," the thought of her disappearance and him now admitting this to someone caused a pained expression to cross over his face. He had lost her for good and in no way was Namara replacement. Namara was Namara and Treena was Treena, he wasn’t stupid and he knew the difference. "You remind me of her but you aren’t her, which makes you special to me." He flicked his tail behind him as another question was asked. About Ava?

Confusion swam in his brain until he realized that he had brought his old partner up without realizing it. And soon a grin broke out on his face as he began to laugh, remembering some funny times that he and Ava had caused. In between laughs, Ash tried to get out some speech, "Yeah..Ava was…my equal…when she was in the…pack…we were close…friends and caused…a bunch of…mischief together." He remembered the time when Kamota had come to join and both Ava and Ash had jumped on the opportunity to jump on some fresh meat and test it out. It was what made them so good of partners in the end, when they did something; they always ended up doing it together and in unison. They had been like the dynamic duo! His happy phase didn’t last long though, for his face soon fell again and he avoided Namara’s eyes and looked at the dirt beneath his feet instead. He still missed them all, even if he knew that Ava was alive now. Figuring that he should add this, he did, "I know Ava is alive and in the Lore again though…which is good."

I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

Namara felt for Ash, for it sounded as though at one time the male had it all, the girl, a best friend, and in a way, he even had a little one. Which made Namara think, what had she ever had? No mate, no best friend, not even a sibling that looked up to her. She was silent for long moments as she contemplated his ordeal. It did not sound pretty but then, at least he had tasted happiness, and love. Namara's mask was steel and impenetrable yet deep down she felt her heart break again as it often did. Outside she appeared as though she were merely deep in thought.

The grey hued she wolf moved slowly, gracefully, more so than normal to Ash's side and pressed into him. Silence hung between them. She merely listened to the sound of his breaths for a moment. eventually she opened her jaws to speak. "I'm sure everyone had their reasons for leaving Ash. But they were lucky to have you... anyone would be... and Athena is." She didn't mention her own connection to him just in the sole fact that it seemed fragile and fleeting, Namara had no way of knowing that if things had been different they may have been together.

"I've never had a mate, or friends, or anyone who looked up to me. But here I am Ash. I wait for the day when I can lead a life that you have already led once before." Her words were kind but her tone became stern. "You will have it again someday, the faces may change Ash but you should never give up. You should never let it get you down. Don't try to tell me that it hasn't because I am not blind nor am I stupid." Her body language was still calm her fur lie flat and she remained where she was, speaking with eyes closed, and ears perked up. Whether or not he remained by her side was another question entirely. "There will come a day when you can be happy once more. Let your past go, they all have a place in time and this is no longer that place." Her final words gentle she waited, would she face teeth? Sadness or joy?

He sat there and waited anxiously for some kind of reply to come from Namara’s lips. All the things he had cherished and loved had been ripped away from him right under his nose. The alpha could easily remember the pain he had felt each time he had heard of a new disappearance. It had been as though a part of his heart had been ripped away from him and stayed with whoever had left him. The only one that had returned piece had been Ava. When she spoke, he listened attentively to her, making it obvious that he was listening. When she pressed against his side, he was surprised to actually find himself leaning into her touch, finding comfort in their bodies pressed against one another. Sighing with her final words, he let a small half smile pull at the corners of his dark lips as he pressed his muzzle close to her ear.

Breathing in her scent quickly before speaking lowly, "I think you should listen to your own advice, sweetheart." He did not even realize his slip up as he nuzzled the side of her face before looking up again, muttering a heartfelt and meaningful thanks to her before stepping away and looking back towards the mountains. Glancing back at her, with a small grin on his dark features, which could easily have looked evil to anyone who did not know him, he spoke again, quietly and quickly, "I think it’s about time we went home, yes?" They started together and after a little while of silence, something she said to him brought more words upon his lips. Nudging her side gently and giving her a wink he said, " You already have a best friend." And then the pair walked together in silence, back towards the place they called home.

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I think I've finally seen the light..in you.

She offered no acknowledgement to anything he had said. But a half smile stayed upon her muzzle. She knew deep down that he was right. She should take her own advice but then she had already done so had she not? After all her hardship and pain had Namara Laylani not come out the other side standing. Yes she was beaten and bruised. Broken in some ways but at her heart. There was such a strong current, a current that said, "go on, continue." But Ash must know that too. Even in the few moments where the two were pressed to one another Namara felt more than physical touch. She always did with Ash, from the moment he lay with her as she lay broken from her fall off of the mountain.

She always felt as though she could read his heart whether or not he wished it, she knew that he was genuinely content for once now. Maybe even happy. Just the thought warmed her exponentially and made her pace even more steady than it already was, more steady than he had unknowingly made it. Though she may never have him as mate, she knew now for sure that she had him as a best friend. Even though the she wolf thought it almost cruel to Athena, she still couldn't help but wonder what the future would bring. "Thank you Ash, for looking after me after the mountain. For being here all the time too, Its done more good than you know." With that she faded into the shadows beside Ash.