Blackberry Fields From the Bottom Up

@Inali

April 20th, Late Morning, Partly Cloudy, 50F/10C
Location: Outside of Future/Half Dug Out Birthing Den

It had taken the group two days to reach the north and another day to find the perfect spot, but indeed they had. While in usual circumstances wolves would have set out initially at marking borders before all else they had a different priority; Minka's pups would soon be here and a birthing den needed to be dug. So in the western region of their future territory a den was in the process of being cleared out, it had originally been the den of a fox but seemed to have been long since abandoned. Nearby was a brook the gurgled slowly along, perfect for young pups as the danger for drowning was minimal in such a shallow area. The trees weren't as thick here as they were in some parts of the territory so the children would be able to run and play without danger of unwittingly getting tangled in the branches. The expectant mother stood observing the den, her claws kneading at the dirt beneath her, she had been attempting to do some digging herself but her rather large belly had stopped her from making much heed way. Minka couldn't really complain, everyone had been incredibly helpful so far, the men @Tokino, @Lugh and @Erebos digging out the den as well as future cache sites, the women Inali and @Ryka at searching for food to fill these caches. It seemed already that the wolves were beginning to work together as a unit, as a family and it wouldn't be long now before the pack would be official. The former alpha knew that if it wasn't in the next couple of days it would have to be after the birth of the pups, and the latter was more realistic. She found it hard to wander too far from the den and often if exerting herself too much would suffer from uncomfortable cramps in her sides. The wolves would be loyal she trusted and keep her safe until everyone was ready to mark the borders and announce their arrival, but for now they would lay low, for now they would wait.

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Speech.

They had stayed at Maksim's home for a short time, and then headed out. It had taken two days travel to reach the land where they were now beginning to settle in. Or was it three? Either way, most of the trip had been familiar territory to the scout, and had pointed out what she knew to her fellow pack mates. Well, soon-to-be packmates. They had not claimed the land officially yet, but Inali knew the time was soon to come. She was happy again. All her worries and fears were steadily melting away. She had a new chapter in her life to look forward to, and couldn't wait for the adventure to continue. The scout had woken up mid morning to scout out the lands some more and to see if she could find some more food to fill their caches. Her hunt had been succesful, for she had managed to take down a large, plump rabbit.

Walking back to Minka's den site, the rabbit hanging limp from her jaws, Inali made a detour from the caches. Her friend and the petite woman hadn't had some solid alone time in what seemed like ages. But really, it had only been a couple months. Getting closer, the quick footed woman quickly reacged her friend. A muffled whine escaped her as Inali announced her presence and dropped the rabbit at Minka's feet. Smiling, the woman opened her maw. "I brought you some food, for I know you must be hungry. It's no caribou, but its something." Her grin formed into a soft smile as she moved closer and nuzzled her muzzle against Minka's in a more friendly greeting. Minka was her most trusted companion, and Inali loved her very much. Puling away, the petite woman lovingly swept a paw against her alpha's stomach. "How are the pups? Driving you crazy? The woman chuckled as she met her blue orbs with Minka's honey gaze, her expression teasing. It felt good to finally be at peace.

(This post was last modified: Apr 22, 2014, 08:56 PM by Inali.)

The sound of approaching paws brought Minka back to current time and out of her daydream and for the first time in months didn't set her on edge. While still within the caverns the woman had been edgy, constantly on alert should Ash catch her off guard but now the thought of company filled her with only joy. Turning to look upon her friend the golden eyes carried a warmth within them that had once been so common and it seemed would be again. The fae seemed to glow now in the final stages of her pregnancy, despite the discomforts that came along with being swollen to twice her usual size. The site of the fat hare in her friend's mouth only broadened her smile as saliva filled her maw, it seemed she did nothing but follow the women around and empty the caches as fast as they could fill them. Licking the top of Inali's muzzle she delighted, "You truly are a saint Inali, I don't know how I'm possibly always hungry but I hope it ends once the pups arrive." The words were said with humor, there was nothing the former alpha truly begrudged about carrying her children and she rejoiced every minute. Almost as if on cue the growing pups began to squirm at the warm contact of Inali's paw as they often did when Tokino would nuzzle her stomach. A chuckled slipped mindlessly from Minka's maw, it was a simple joy to have such a quiet conversation but it had been so long. Soon their days would be filled with chasing after the children as they reaped havoc as children so often do, now was a time of calm before the storm. Turning her face to nuzzle her swollen belly affectionately she laughed again, "Somehow they seem to be on different sleep schedules, at least one of them is always moving, making it hard for their momma to get any sleep of her own. Hopefully not an omen for the future." One in particular, at least she thought it was one was seemingly always moving no matter what time of day. Feisty and the child was even a real person yet.

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There is a deer that was killed by a lynx nearby. +10 Health

Speech.

To see her friend's eyes shine with warmth and the glow of pregnancy all around her, made Inali's own smile spring upon her maw. It had been so long since she had seen her friend truly happy, and it warmed her heart to see her friend carry joy again. The woman had felt the squirmings of the pups under her paw and had forced herself not to still in awe. A soft chuckle escaped her maw at Minka's words, and the woman opened her maw. "They will hold very interesting characters your pups, as you and Tokino as the parents." A bark of a laugh escaped her maw at her own words. Who would inherit Tokino's dry humour or Minka's firm character? Only tile would tell. But still, her thoughts strayed. All she had ever wanted was a family, but the woman knew she didn't hold what it took to be an alpha. Plus, it seemed she held no feelings for men. She had fallen in love with a woman once, and was starting to care for another.

A small frown flittered across her maw at her thoughts, before it was covered with a smile. Now was not the time to think about this. "Did you always want to be a mother, Minka?," she asked her friend. Her own dreams would not come true because of two obvious reasons, but she wondered what her best friend thought of children. Had she always wanted them? Or did she realize later in life, when the reality of it all came crashing down?

The thought of carrying within her a miniature of herself or a miniature of her mate caused a smile to spread across her face that threatened to burst her cheeks. Oh, a male who would be so proud, so strong, so sure of himself and his actions, she could practically see the silver fur now shining in the meadow as he lectured his siblings. Laughing she shook her head with exasperation, "These children have no hope at being laid back and easy going do they?" It was a joke of course, but Minka knew how stubborn she was, she wasn't oblivious, and Tokino as well, the man gave her a run for her money they was for sure. So strong he was that he had made her stronger, helped to build her up into the proud leader and future mother she would become. A small frown mirrored on Minka's face at Inali's expression and her question, was her friend having doubts she didn't know about? After a moment of thinking the Lagina woman nodded her voice quiet as she answered, "For as long as I can remember yes. Until this winter though I never thought it would be anything but a dream, a fantasy. I never thought of myself as someone who could be a strong or positive leader, and I definitely never believed that I would have a mate, why even Asteroin never said he had feelings for me before he disappeared." The winter had changed everything, it had been so harsh, delivered so many losses, so many blows that it had whittled away Minka's doubts, her indecision. In some ways the winter that had ended so many lives, taken so much away, it had started the woman's, given her more back than she lost.

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Speech.

Inali snorted, but in no way was she amused. She opened her maw and let her thoughts be spoken outloud. "Trust me, that man held feelings for you. You could see it in his eyes every time he looked at you. Problem was he had demons and just didn't know how to deal with them. That was clear as day. It infuriates me that he didn't realize we all have demons. He just took the cowardly way out by leaving." A irritated scowl appeared on her muzzle, an odd thing for it was rarely ever seen. It expressed how deeply his leaving really angered her. He wasnt the one who watched his best friend crumble before his very eyes. He wasn't the one that felt the pain when Minka closed off and didnt let anyone in, not even her. Shaking her head lightly to clear her dark thoughts, the cold that seemed to seep into her usually warm gaze thawed out. A small smile took over as she opened her maw. "But I dont wanna talk about him." She continued, her smile growing brighter. " I wont lie to you, Minka. At a time in my life, I did want children. Now, I realize that wont happen. Ever. And Im okay with that. Because I have you, Tokino, and our new family. Plus, I'll have your pups to babysit from time to time, so what else can I ask for?" She smiled, firmly believing her words. There was no bullshitting going on, for yes, at a time she did want children. But the Fates had always held a different set of cards when it came to her, and right now, probably forever, children just weren't in the picture.

Minka's first reaction would have been to deny Inali's words, Asteroin hadn't cared or he wouldn't have left, she must have been the demon to drive him away. Those thoughts stemmed from the deep insecurities she had always felt about close personal relationships. She had never lived up to her family's expectations, wasn't big enough or strong enough or smart enough. They had never said any of these words to her, but they didn't need to, she knew it in the way they would whisper to her sisters to allow her to win a race every once and a while, ask her easy questions after her brother had made a discovery. Minka had not belonged there, but she had eventually found where she did belong, and that was here.

Suddenly she was flooded with guilt at the thought of what she had done, leaving before dawn one morning without a word to her family, disappearing without any warning. Surely they had been worried sick that their daughter had just vanished. Swallowing the bile that rose in her throat she murmured sadly, "God forbid I made any demons for my family when I left, and forbid that I will cause any demons for my children." Minka was filled with visions of a daughter with a light tawny coat sneaking away in the middle of the night, of her and Tokino searching for her day or night, not knowing whether she was alive or dead.

Her train of thought was interrupted by her friend's next words and the tawny head tilted slightly to the right as she listened. Pressing her shoulder gently against Inali in a comforting way she spoke, "Of course Tokino and I love having you as part of our family, we always will and I hope you will be around to see our pups grow. Though I'm curious, why would you say that you will never have pups? You never know what the fates hold in store." It was true, for it had been just a year ago when the then Leigh woman had found her way into the lore and everything had changed.

speech Inali looked up as she felt the pressure on her shoulder. Smiling at the comforting gesture and at her friend, Inali stayed in thought. How could she explain that literally having children would be impossible for her. She didn't hold attraction for men. Or so it seemed, since the last two wolves she had been genuinely attracted to were both females. Inali opened her maw to answer. "Yes, well, the Fates just don't have children in store for me in the near future." Her words were meant to come out light, but instead they came out somewhat sad. Love has wronged me too many times it seems." She thought of Steel. They had been friends, right? And maybe they could've been something more if time and distance had been a factor in their favor. She briefly wondered where the large male was now, before her mind turned to her scarred beloved. Ex beloved. She had to remember that. Sometimes it still felt like Simaea wasn't gone at all. Inali had loved her. They had shared a brief time together, too brief, but it didn't make her feelings any less true. She was shattered when Simaea hadn't come home from that blizzard, though she hid it well from the pack since they hadn't needed any more turmoil at the time. And finally, she thought of Naia. The one who had been her bright sun in her dark horizon. They had shared an instant connection. Maybe it would go somewhere, maybe it wouldn't. The feelings starting to stir in heart again truthfully terrified her. She couldn't be hurt like that again. Her eyes started to sting and the lithe she wolf shut her eyes tightly before turning her attention back to Minka. "Sorry, my friend. I got a little lost in thought there. I don't know if love is what the Fates have in store for me, but for now I'm content with having you by my side. And the rest of our family." She leaned into Minka, glad for this moment that they had shared. It seemed they could never find time to just sit together and talk. But she was glad that they had been given the chance to do so today. She looked up at her alpha and smiled softly. "Even though we are not of blood, I will always see you as my sister." Inali knew it would soon be time for them to depart, but she was dead set on enjoying these last few moments before their respective duties consumed their time until who knew how long.

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Minka enjoyed the warmth of her friend's shoulder against her own, the lightly returned pressure as they pressed against each other for comfort. Nodding at Inali's statement her own mind went to the wrong doings she herself had faced, truthfully just one unless you counted an unrequited crush she had felt as a pup. One was all it took though, as she had been crushed by Asteroin's disappearance, so much so that she had denied herself basic comforts and had prolonged her healing process because she refused to be examined. Those days had been dark, both physically and emotionally, the leader had hid herself away with the confines of the southern caverns blocking herself away from her pack mates.

Those days had long faded, and from them had blossomed a new confidence that held Minka's every move and decision. She had proven to herself that even when broken she could and would come back stronger every time, now she had a mate and would raise her children with a man she knew was loyal. To her dismay though it seemed that her sister had been cut deeper than even she, and the scars still had jagged edges that gripped the small fae. Minka knew however that nothing she could say now would help Inali find her way back to where she could trust and let another in, so instead she gave her the gift of dignity. Turning her golden gaze away from her friend she pretended she had not seen the moisture that had lined her eyes and instead focused on the horizon in the distance until the Wayha woman spoke. Turning back to her a warm smile adorned her muzzle and she gently tapped her nose against the woman's chin, "And you will always be mine." Then she was silent for that was all that needed to be said.

For a time she said nothing, just listened to the cool breeze that flit gently through the territory. Eventually however she couldn't ignore the hunger that settled in her belly as she sat. Pressing gently against her friend's shoulder once more she smiled and nodded her goodbye before making her way back towards the den where hopefully someone would have filled a cache.