Triell confirmed that Sahalie was not with this new pack, and while Sven had pretty much been able to decipher that himself, he realized he'd still be holding out hope that maybe she really was so close, as the words were deflating to the teen. His ears leaned back as the man spoke the words, 'I'm not sure how much you know.'
"Nothing," Sven whispered miserably. He had come here with confidence, but now that had been stolen from him as he hung onto each word Sahalie's father spoke like a child.
The loss of leadership he
did know, though it felt to be a trivial detail with the amount of alpha turnovers the boy had experienced his whole life. None of them had been the cause of departure, except--
fear, Triell said, and he remembered how both Nicolo and Morganna had claimed that the other had threatened their future litter. But even then... Well, it didn't matter why Spieden had acted the way she did. What Sven cared about was Sahalie and her reasons, and while he struggled to step out of his own narrow, loyalist mindset, he could still see why. Once more, it was necessary to compare his friend's adoptive mother to his nonna. He could never imagine Elettra having run in fear from anything in her life, but if she had?
It pained him to think of it at all, and it did not clear up the mixture of ideals battling within his heart.
That they had left out of fear too did not make him feel better, but did help him to feel hopeful that Sahalie's reasoning was good. After all, he could clearly recall how nervous the one subordinate had been around Aponi, as though afraid the wolf would go off violently if displeased. It did not bode well for that other
situation... that this woman who so inspired mistrust was quite possibly the mother of his estranged sibling.
Still, where the hell had she gone? Why hadn't she come to him, to the Ridge? Sven had to shake his head to try and stop the racing of his thoughts. There was a million directions, from hurt and mistrust to hope and empathy, sadness and yearning and judgment and understanding. He couldn't make sense of it, and he wished more than ever that Sahalie was just
here to explain it all herself.
"Okay," he murmured, before raising his gaze and saying it once more, firmly,
"Okay."
This wasn't why he was here, and this wasn't going to solve the dissonance it all had created within him.
"Thank you. I... Sahalie meant a lot to me," he attempted to explain, vaguely aware that past tense had slipped onto his tongue. That was how he had always learned it was, though; once they left, they only came back once to make it clear that they'd never had a good reason at all and then they were gone for good. It had been that way with his mother, with Hecate, with Angier and Niles, with Morganna... Renier was the only one to have stayed, and that was only
thus far. He wanted so dearly to hope for more with Halie, but he was torn as he knew fully well how much it would hurt if she proved to be no better than the rest.
"I never expected her to just disappear."
He cleared his throat, ears picking up as he tried to regain his composure.
"I'm sorry. I didn't come here to dredge all that up."