Sex: FemaleWith some distance between herself and White Fir Notch, Jynx had found the solitude she had been searching for. She didn't plan on staying away for too long, nor had she gone very far. Just a little ways beyond the borders, but still in the region and close enough that should any of her pack mates need her, that she could easily be tracked down. While winter still clung on with it's icy grip, despite the chill, the sky was clear today. Warm rays of bright sunshine beat down from the open canvas of blue sky, offering warmth to the land below. In a clearing, on one giant boulder, heated by the daytime sun, Jynx's russet and aguoti body rested. She was sprawled out comfortably on her side, head tilted up and angled to the sky. Her yellow eyes seemed to be fixed on nothing in particular, for she was lost in thought.
For the second time in her young life now, fate had forced her to step up to the role of Leader. She knew it was only temporary, even if there was no telling when exactly Raela would be ready to reclaim her spot at the top of the pack hierarchy. Once again, just like last time, her priorities were shifted. While filling in and helping out at Gent's side, she doubled her patrols throughout the territory and along the borders. She checked up on the others daily, making sure they were all well. This was all on top of her usual duties involved in the road to becoming a hunter, which had been made all the more challenging with each passing week, as food grew more scarce. If anything, this eventful winter certainly was testing her. But she would come out stronger, more resilient in the end.With a soft sigh accompanied by a whisk of air out of her nose, she lifted her head and stared down at her paws, brows knitting together. Why was it that again, she had been placed in this situation? When her life was just getting on track, when she was finally settled? There had been a time in her life when she was younger, where she may have wanted this. But since that time her goals had changed and now she was left feeling unsure. What she did know was that this time, she would not be stepped all over or leave her pack when this phase was done with. Jynx would not adopt a haughty attitude, allowing this temporary role to go to her head. She would remain unchanged, with the only exception being the increased display of responsibility on her behalf. Yet with a small bundle of turmoil nestled in her, she felt she needed someone to talk to. And she knew just who. The one wolf who had known she had been through this before. His insight, his advice, would clear her mind. So, with a tip of her muzzle, she parted her lips and called softly for Emrys.
The change in ranks, Jynx becoming leader worried him in more ways than one though there were times he wondered if his worries were unfounded. He went through each day doing what he could to support her and keeping how he felt about it to himself. If anyone was to take Raela's place while she was unable to lead then he believed it should be Jynx. He didn't want to think about it but as he moved through the trees if the notch he wondered if keeping some distance between him and the notch was due to his worry over the rank change. He understood it and why it needed to happen but that didn't mean he had to like it, like the fact she was put into this position once again. He worried about her and how she was feeling but Emrys knew Jynx and he knew that when she wanted to share she would and until then he stayed by her, supporting her as he should.
With so little prey in the territory he found it harder to try as hard as he normally would to hunt, saving it for the times he traveled away from pack lands. So he was left picking aimlessly through the land with faintest hope he might come across a fresh track or some small creature that was barely big enough for a pup to call a meal. Even the half eaten carcasses that could have helped had become scarce but he didn't stop looking for those either. Despite whatever feelings he had on the current situation within the pack he still did what he could to help and kept up with his duties. He'd quickly grown accustomed to this life and as long as he had Jynx he wouldn't give it up so easily no matter how much his wandering heart yearned to travel.
His paws had carried him closer to the border than he had realized leaving him to walk along it refreshing a few of the markers that needed it. He hadn't been working long when the soft sound of her voice calling to him reached his ears. Quickly he crossed the border in the direction her call had come from and soon found her sunbathing on the boulder that he'd talked with Neem about. The snow has melted from it leaving it with a much safer feeling than before, he chuffed in greeting to her as he approached. “I see you've found a place to have some time to yourself,” he said as raised his body up placing his forepaws on the boulder, “How are you doing Jynx? I've been worried about you.”
Her wait was not a long one, after she had called for Emrys. There had been no sense of urgency in her tone, no distress. When he arrived he would find her lounging atop the boulder in a relaxed posture, head upright. As his pure white frame came into view, closer and closer, something in her golden eyes came to life. The dark tip of her tail began to flicker rapidly with joy. "I thought it looked like the perfect spot to soak up some sun. It's peaceful here, too." She added, with a small gesture of her snout to the clearing they were in. As he had raised himself up closer to her height atop the boulder, Jynx leaned down to reach him. Her muzzle bumped against the side of his cheek softly, a low whine humming out of her lips. He said he was worried about her. Sifting through her memories, she tried to recall when he had ever expressed such so openly before.
"That's...really sweet of you Emrys..." She began, and if not for her fur, her cheeks would have been tinted with a blush. "But I'm alright. Just...a little overwhelmed and confused, that's all." Realizing that she had the throne mother nature had crafted all to herself, and Emrys was left on the colder, muddier ground, she scooted back, allowing him the space he needed to leap up and rest beside her. "I hope I didn't pull you away from anything too important. I thought some alone time would clear my head, but it's just made it worse." She admitted with a sheepish little smile. There was so much on her mind. From her temporary role in the pack, to Raela's well being, her goals as a hunter, their neighbors and of course, the increasing scarcity of prey. But there was one more...a much more personal one that even she was not yet fully aware of.His curiosity of what she might want drove him to reach her as well as the fact whatever she needed he would always be there. When he found her lounging on the boulder it stirred something inside of him. It was something that could not be spoken of at least not then for he was worried about her.
“It is very peaceful here, a good place to think or forget the world if that is what you're after.” He rose his body up on his hind legs the greeting he received, bump to the cheek and a whine. It only made the worry inside of him grow and he did not hesitate to express it to her. With every passing day what he felt for her had grown and now that he was able to see her everyday he couldn't imagine leaving her or not being able to see her. He took his trips and he might be gone a dog or two but she was always there when he returned.
He had grown past veiled expressions of worry and instead made sure she knew this time because she needed to know how much he cared for her. He could feel the heat in his cheeks as she expressed it was sweet of him to say what he had. Emrys looked at his paws as he spoke, “You deserve to know,” he told her before letting his blue gaze meet her yellow one once more. “It's not an easy position that you've been thrust into I would expect there to be some of those feelings. You know that I will always listen if you want to talk.” Her making space on top of the boulder that months ago he'd been afraid to test its safety was his indication to join her. Letting himself drop to the ground he prepared himself then lept up to join her. Once he was safely next to her he placed a soft kiss to her crown before laying next to her. “Of course not besides I am always here if you need me. Too much time to think about it, would you like to talk about what's going on in there?” He asked touching her head with his nose, “Maybe if we talk we can help each other.” Maybe she could help quell some of his worries and he could help her figure out the things that has her so confused. He knew they had become more than just friends and it was times like this when she felt as he did now that his heart broke for her. He wanted to make it all better for her or at least try to.
After he had made it up onto the boulder beside her, Jynx shifted her weight to her right side, turned so that she could see him with ease. She appreciated how open he was being with her in expressing himself. But she was left to wonder, was he being completely open? Were the feelings she was experiencing mutual? She longed to know more, the truth, but was too hesitant to ask. And if she came out and expressed herself completely, would she stumble by being too bold, should he not feel the same? The affectionate kiss he placed on her head made her feel better, but also warmed her skin. Pushing her nose up under his chin in a gentle nudge, she spoke again.
"No, it isn't. But I am glad you are here to listen. I feel like I can talk to you about anything, no matter what it is." His suggestion about going over all the swarming thoughts and worries in her head was a step in the right direction, and with a soft breath, she gave a nod. Her yellow eyes fixed on his sky blue ones, a flurry of differing emotions passing through her gaze. "It's just that....so much seems to have happened this year. Especially over these last few months." Although her mind was abuzz with activity, she was by no means tense in the physical sense. She shifted on her side again, the motion inadvertently bringing her to lay closer to the white male, while she tilted her head to gaze up at a few small puffy, passing clouds. In a slow blink, her eyes closed and she was silent. Most likely taking a pause to enjoy the warmth beating down upon her fur."I've been in this position before. You know that, of all wolves. But...never while we were together." Her lids slowly opened to reveal the bright yellow of her eyes again. "And I find it...ironic, that for the second time in my life, that I am needed. The last time was different, in a way. Those wolves could manage without me. The male I shared leadership with made that plainly clear." Her lips pressed together in a thoughtful line. "But here...I know I belong. I see the looks on their faces, the pride in their eyes. I would do anything for the pack...my family." Now she turned her head back to look at his pale face straight on. "But the timing...it's hard. Juggling my responsibilities as an up and coming hunter and assisting Gent where I can. With the situation with our prey, and who knows when Raela will be ready to step up again, I feel like I got the weight of the world on my shoulders." She huffed in a dry laugh. "And just when I thought I had settled into a routine...a sense of normalcy."Lately he felt as though the times they spent like this were so few and far between with their worries over winter and the scarceness of prey. The rank change also posed its own worries for them both so having this chance to just be with her was one he would not pass up. He gladly joined her on the boulder to share in the rare bit of sunshine that shone down on them warming their pelts. The kiss placed on her head was met with a gentle nudge of his chin bringing a smile to his face. A reminder of just how much had changed between them since he'd come to the notch.
His smile widened as she spoke, “I'm glad that AI can be here for you and I'm glad that you feel you can talk to me about anything, it's important to me to be able to help you through times like this. I feel the same about you.” Her admittance warmed his heart knowing that she felt as comfortable with him as he did with her. Looking into her eyes he saw the emotions that crossed her features causing concern in his own. She spoke about the last year, “A lot has happened but we made it through and we're stronger for it,” he said brushing her cheek with his muzzle. Not only the two of them but their pack as well, it had been one of the hardest winters he'd seen but they had gotten through it no worse for wear. Her gaze turned to the sky as did his taking in the color and the fluffy clouds a sight they hadn't seen in awhile. Just another reminder that spring was around the corner, a sigh escaped him at the thought. A moment of silence passed between them in which she looked up to the sky, Emrys was content watching her as she seemed to be enjoying herself.
Before she opened her eyes her her voice brought him back to the conversation and what she wanted to discuss. “I do know you have. Are you worried what this position means for us?” It was something that had been on his mind but as he looked into her days again he wondered if she has the same worry. They had talked about the previous time she had been put in the leader position, she spoke about it again. “You are a strong woman and you work hard to be where you are so I don't find it hard to believe you are in this position again but you're right it is different this time you have a pack who loves you and that you love and would anything for. It's not an easy thing to take on but I am sure that Raela and Gent appreciate you doing it to keep the pack together and running smoothly. I know how much you want to be able to do for this pack so I am happy you are getting this opportunity.” He didn't know what it would mean for them but he truly was happy for her because she was in a position to help her pack in one of the best ways. As she spoke about her responsibilities added to trying to become a hunter he nodded understanding, “I wish there was more that I could do to help take some of that weight off of your shoulders,” but the fact of the matter was he wasn't in a position to do so, “But we are in this together, you know I support you right? And if you'll let me I will do what I can to help. Spring is coming and the prey will return as will Raela but until then Jynx please don't ever think your alone in this I'm always here for you.” Emrys placed a paw over hwrs, “I we work together we can maybe get that routine and sense of normalcy back,” he said trying to reassure her.
Hearing that he felt the same way, about discussing anything with her, boosted her confidence. But not quite enough to come out and completely express herself. "It has been an eventful year, but you are right. The pack is still together and thriving. We've successfully dealt with all the challenges thrown at us." She commented, recalling countless occasions in which the Notch wolves were forced to put their unity to the test. While Raela was in a subordinate role, it now seemed that it was Jynx's turn to be tested as a leader. This challenge of dealing with multiple tasks at once, from relations with the Rye wolves and the Monadock wolves, to prey and the health of their pack, would decide if she was truly cut out to be a leader on her own, one day. Regardless of the results in the end, Jynx would be happy knowing that she would be stronger in more ways than one. Life was un-fulfilling without challenges.
Tipping her head to face him, she considered his question. Then with a shake, she replied. "No...not as far as our relationship is concerned. You mean very much to me, Emrys, and no matter what my status is, that will never change. It would be silly to let something such as a rank determine how a wolf feels for another on a personal level." Some wolves could let the rank they held go to their head, too full of pride. Not her. She was too humble for that. But there was of course, a boost in her confidence, which she was not afraid to show. "I just can't help but wonder, because of this, if fate or...whatever, is trying to tell me something." She sighed then, glancing towards the clearing in which they were in. "I suppose I shouldn't look too much into it though." There had once been a time, when she knew Karpos, that she longed to be more than just a subordinate wolf in a pack. She wanted her own form of control, of power and respect. But didn't she have that already, here in the Notch? Like Emrys said, the appreciation and respect from Gent and Raela was clear. Far stronger than shown in any other wolves she knew. Besides the one laying right next to her of course. And yet, she could not help but feel a few pieces were missing. They were mates and had breeding rights. Children of their own. Jynx knew she stood little chance of such a privilege, unless she coupled with a male against their will. And she could never betray them like that, despite the growing pull for a family of her own. Resigned to this fact, she was happy but always a little envious."Emrys, you are doing plenty just by being here talking with me. Who would've known how things would have turned out, had you not joined us. We had a lost a member that day when you came, but we gained someone far better." She said, in reference to Merys, whose place Emrys now filled. "And from what I've seen...what I've heard, you are doing a splendid job. You are one of the most engaging wolves in the pack...you are always on call. I even heard how you discussed sharing the Lowlands as hunting grounds with that Rye wolf, Askan. And in such a...reasonable manner too." She clearly was impressed as she pointed out all of these examples. Moving her head down to rest her cheek against the fur of his shoulder, she nodded with a soft hum. "I know, I know. And really, I am so thankful that is the case. I'm glad you are here." She adjusted her position to press her damp black nose squarely against his. "But never forget, no matter what, I am here for you too. I'll be there whenever you need me too. I promise."Bringing up the last year, really the last few months for him since he hadn't been in the notch as long as she had he felt it important to point out the good things. They had been through a lot but after it all they had not suffered too much and that had to mean something. He was rewarded with it seeming that she saw what he did. “We are a strong pack and as long as we stick together everyone doing their part then we can overcome.” Emrys was sure of that, he may have grown up a loner but his mother had taught him plenty about living in a pack. Almost as if she knew he might end up there one day and would need to know how to circumvent life within a pack. He felt this was the reason he fit in so well right off and didn't need an adjustment period.
He had concerns what her change in position would mean for them but he wasn't sure it was proper to ask. He did find it okay to ask her if she had any and as she spoke the best words he's heard a smile crept across his maw, “That makes me feel better,” he admitted looking at his paws, “I care a lot about you and I wouldn't want to lose to lose you because of your status changes. You're too down to earth to let power get to you but their are certain aspects of your position…” he trailed off not wanting to finish but hoping she would know. The idea of it was one he didn't even want to consider so he pushed it from his mind. She had assured him and that was all that he needed. He looked to the sky as she spoke about fate which was something the healer believed heavily in,"Perhaps it is a sign that you have been out in this position at this point in your life and for the second time,” he said with a raised brow, “I don't think it's something to be ignored.”
He would have to give it some thought but he believed strongly in signs just like he believed I'd a wolf did something bad, something worse would happen. When she brought it up he felt that it had to be a sign for her to be thrust into the same position twice, the second going better than the first. Even the thing that had stirred inside of him as he saw her sitting on that boulder. He had pushed the thought aside because he knew they were not in a position to start a family. It wasn't something he had given much thought to before he had met her but he wouldn't sent it was something that he did want with her. The thought had come to him a few times over the past weeks but he had pushed it away without an answer he didn't want to dwell on it.
He did smile when she told him he was doing plenty and then she went on to list a lot of the things that he had done while he'd been part of the pack. His eyes did fall as she mentioned what happened with Askan, he still had some mixed feelings about it. However, she had caused the heat to rise in his cheeks once more at her words of praise, he wasn't used to it. A small smile crossed his features as he met her gaze, “I'm just trying to help the pack the best that I can and do my job as a beta.
Then he looked away again towards the sky, “I never thought I would hold such a status as I do now,” he said as he thought about the times his mother has talked about, “I am proud to be beta and now that I do I want to do the job how I think it should be done.” Which as he thought about it and the pride in her voice he seemed to be doing a good job. “Your words of praise help me to know that I am doing my job well, Thank you Jynx. I'm glad to be here too, I haven't regretted joining the notch.” He felt her nose touch his first bringing his blue eyes to meet her yellow ones as she told him what he told her. “I will never forget because I know it in my heart that you are always there for me too,” he said as he gazed info her eyes.
He was so supportive of her, backing up most of what she said. In regards to her position in the pack now, and if it were fate or not, he believed she should not ignore it. She rolled her shoulders in a shrug, her expression unconcerned but attentive nonetheless. "I'll keep that in mind. It's not exactly something I am taking lightly. Not this time." So the matter was worth some deep thought, of some serious soul searching. Speaking of fate, surely it had played a role in bringing Emrys into the pack under a certain set of circumstances. Her ankle was almost completely healed. If it hadn't been for her careless stumble in the woods that day, she might have never bumped into him. It was funny how things played out sometimes.
Jynx was unaware of what thoughts could possibly be going through his mind. Ones that aligned with hers or not, or of the nature that made him feel sheepish and unsure. She would not pry or push towards the matter, but he could be certain that the tawny female was open to the subject, should he bring it up at all. It would give her a better idea of how he felt towards her, should he vocalize his feelings. The smile she saw was met with a small one of her own and a slight laugh. "Well as far as I'm concerned, you are doing a fine job of it." Better than our former second, by far. She thought silently. She listened, taking in his words fully, absorbing them. Her head dipped in a nod of agreement, her eyes lifting skywards again. "It just goes to show that no matter who you are or where you came from, that you can be anything if you set your mind to it." Much like his mother, her own adoptive father had taught her many essential skills. He was most known for his inspiring words of wisdom and encouragement. Jynx knew without a doubt, that her old mentor would be proud of her now. If only there was some way to turn back time, to see him again. So he could see how she had grown. But there was no going back to the past, and now she had a new companion at her side to watch over her, and she him. "Likewise, Emrys. My life has changed because of you, for the better. For that, I can't thank you enough." She said with a content little breath, tucking her head in to rest over his fore paws, near his chest. Then she closed her eyes and said no more, at peace enough just to relax and enjoy the simplicity of one another's company.Jynx FadeJust as he knew she would support him if he were in the same position he did her as much as he could. It still left him wondering about how the fates may have played a role in all of it but he was glad that she wasn't going to take it lightly, “That's all I can ask,” he said letting her know he wouldn't force his beliefs on her but that he hoped she would take his words into consideration. He believed that there were signs of things to come and the more he thought about it he wondered if what he wanted wasn't so far off. That maybe one day soon he could have all that he wanted and it would be with her but then maybe she was right and he was thinking too hard about it. Perhaps it was just too soon to be looking so hard at what he believed to be signs.
It was true that in the past year the two of them had grown much closer than he thought they would on that first day. They had hunted rabbits together and he thought he would never see her again. Now he was laying atop a boulder with her, in the same pack and watching her blossom as a leader. So much had changed and he knew that while he didn't know her exact thoughts he knew she felt deeply for him as he did her. “Thank you, your opinion does mean a lot to me I only hope to make you proud.” And he felt that he had accomplished that the way she had spoken about him.
He shared his thoughts if how he hadn't ever thought he would end up in a pack as their beta with a beautiful caring woman next to him. It was funny how things worked out sometimes, “Yes it does and all you need is a little hard work and determination.” That was what had kept him going and allowed him to do all that she had spoken of. Whether his mother agreed with the pack life or not he truly felt that she would be proud of where he had gotten himself to. “I feel the same about you, it's because of you that I have this life and I don't want to give it up to return to what I was.” when she rested her head across his paws he placed another kiss on her crown before moving his muzzle close to her ear, “I love you Jynx Dirol.”
Fade