Sunrise Ridge It's Snowing Right Now, I Wish It Was Summer

For @Askan! Cottongrass, a startled grouse smacks into you in panic.

At the risk of sounding like Reyes, Cottongrass couldn't help but wonder if winter was ever going to end. Because all it did was snow, day in and day out! And when it didn't snow, the sky was still a gloomy shade of grey that the sun hid behind. It was depressing. It was boring. He just wanted it to be spring or summer or something. That way he could run around all he wanted without running the risk of freezing to death or falling into a hole under the snow. Was that too much to ask for? With a childish huff he continued to pick his way through densely packed trees, big paws kicking snow everywhere he went.

And it wasn't until the trees thinned out did Cottongrass put a stop to his endless warpath, yellow eyes squinting as he took note of his surroundings. There were trees. Nothing but a whole lot of trees that he didn't feel like climbing or attacking for fun. But it was sort of hard to see anything else with all the snow in his eyes. He scowled, shaking out his coat even if he knew that the snow would just pile up again. And finally deciding he had enough—Cottongrass tilted his head back, muzzle pointing straight up at the sky. His rear wiggled and his paws stomped as he tried to position himself just so under the open sky. With all the ferociousness of a baby bunny, he peeled his lips back and bared his teeth at the falling snow.

It, amazingly, did absolutely nothing. The snow just kept falling, landing in his eyes and nose even when he gave a weak growl of protest. And the longer he held the pose the more silly Cottongrass felt. Because what if someone came and saw him? They would probably laugh at him. Or think he was crazy or something. He frowned, getting ready to shuffle into a stance that didn't embarrass him. But before he could even think of moving—

A branch snapped. The snow crunched. And Cottongrass flinched, head snapping downwards to look at whatever had just made the noise. His heart raced and he expected to see someone he knew. Like maybe it was Askan creeping around again, or Reyes staring at him with those grey eyes of disapproval. But it was neither of those wolves. It wasn't even a wolf in the first place.

Instead Cottongrass found himself gazing into the dark, beady eyes of a fat little bird with brown feathers. There was something alive and electric crackling in the air. Something that was dangerous. And it was hard to say who reacted first, Cottongrass or the grouse. But one second the entire world had gone still, and the next it was ending in a screaming mass of feather and fur. The bird launched forward and Cottongrass launched upward, straight into the air with a panicked yelp dying on his lungs.

What happened after that was a mystery.

COTTONGRASS

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2017, 09:11 PM by Cottongrass.)

Askan wasn't out looking for Cottongrass, but whether he wanted to or not he found him anyway. It was almost funny how whenever he wanted to be alone the universe insisted that he wasn't going to be. He supposed that there were worst wolves out there. And Cotton? He was all right, a little dim, childish and too stubborn for his own good. But all in all, the kid was okay in Askan's eyes.

That said, it didn't mean that the white ball of fluff could ever be called the predictable sort.So far the Selwyn had seen him get up to all sorts of strange and frankly ridiculous shenanigans, but this had to take the proverbial cake.

One moment Askan had been making his way over, pushing through the snow with his usual frown plastered on his face. Then the next there wasn't just one scream, there were two,and Askan watched in absolute befuddlement as both a grouse and Cotton threw themselves up in the air as though a great gust had pushed them skywards.

This kid...How had he not died yet? How was he still alive? It just beggared belief.The Rye Guardian watched as the grouse flew off, shrieking all the way, whilst Cotton went in the opposite direction and landed on the floor with a hefty groan. Gravity was still not his friend, it seemed. Well enough was enough,if Askan ran into Cotton pissing around on his own one more time...Well, there wasn't going to be another time. He was going to make sure of it.

Padding over, Askan prodded the loner's side with his nose."Oi Cotton. Get up, I want to talk to you."

@Askan

The bird—the bird was gone. In its wake Cottongrass was nothing more than a pile of fur on the ground, one that giggled and shook because he almost died except not really. Either way he was dazed. Still lying on the ground groaning about because he didn't know what happened and oh man, his legs hurt. Like when he fell out of that tree except instead of landing on his back, he landed square on all four of his paws. What made it even worse was the fact that there was no rabbit waiting for him as a reward for not dying.

Absentmindedly he wondered what happened to the Sahalie girl. The one from Oak Tree Bend, where the forest became foggy. And maybe when it stopped snowing he would have to search her out, convince her to give him another easy meal because food fixed everything. But then he remembered the other wolf he bumped into when he was down in the foggy forest. The one that attacked him and had bright eyes that scared him. So maybe he wouldn't go try and find her because what if that wolf was nearby...

His wandering mind was cut short when he was jolted back into reality, yellow eyes landing on the dark form of Askan as the older wolf made their way towards him. Behind him his tail started to wag back and forth, jaws falling open in an eager grin. "Askan!" He barked, pushing himself to his feet and meeting the man halfway. Boldly he leaned forward to give Askan a nudge before shying away.

And without much grace—plopped himself back down on his hindquarters. There he slouched, tail wagging as he peered at his friend. Something uncomfortable wiggled and squirmed inside of him. Like he just did something bad and now everybody knew. His ears folded back and he gave his lips a nervous lick, forcing himself to smile moments later. Because he was just being paranoid. He did nothing wrong... Right?

"Yeah! Yeah, what about?"

COTTONGRASS

Askan rolled his eyes at the affectionate nudge, but tolerated it without any other sort of complaint. It wasn't so bad. It wasn't as nice as Reyes' touches, but that was a given really. An irrefutable fact, like that the sky was blue or that the grass was green. Huffing in amusement, Askan stood before the loner as he plonked himself down in his typical, laid back fashion. Good, he hadn't changed then. Some things in this world were bound to stay the same, and the fact that Cotton was a dork was one of them. Surely it had to be.

At his words though, Cotton's demeanour shifted. And Askan decided that it wasn't a good change. If the kid was acting all shifty and nervous now, he had a feeling he wouldn't be receptive to what he had to say. As confrontational as the Selwyn could be, this wasn't the kinda guy he wanted to start whacking a guy like Cotton. Especially since Askan knew he didn't deserve and or be able to take it.Ugh, having a conscience was a pain in his arse sometimes. He didn't wanna be a bad guy, it wasn't like he went out of his way to bring misfortune and misery but being nice felt so...tacky. He had to do something though, otherwise Cotton's misery was surely gonna seep into him as well.

With a rare, mischievous grin Askan stepped forward slowly and without warning kicked up some snow in Cotton's face. There that'd get rid of that sorry look. Or so he hoped.

"I figured you've been on your own long enough. And so, I've decided that you are now a complimentary member of my family, and by extension Reyes' too. Congrats." Askan nodded, sure of himself and his words. "So yeah, with that said, you're coming with me."

There is a family of deer nearby. Hunt Opportunity

@Askan

Cottongrass couldn't shake the horrible feeling that something was wrong. Like his paws were too big for his body or his skin wasn't his own while something wiggled and squirmed just beneath the flesh. And worst of all—he couldn't convince himself that everything was going to be alright. Not when his heart beat erratically and painfully against his rib cage while the panic only grew with each passing second. It was consuming him. Taking control of his body until he didn't feel like himself anymore.

So when Askan kicked snow up into his face, sharp features mischievous and eyes shining bright, it only made everything worse. Because all Cottongrass did was flinch. His eyes screwed shut and his ears rolled back against his head while he did his best to cower without actually moving. And if this was how the older wolf played and joked around, Cottongrass didn't like it. Not even when he tried to remember the fact that Askan wanted him to smile. That the man told him to do whatever made him happy and that he could forget about the rest. And didn't Askan know that Cottongrass was dumb? That he wasn't smart like everyone else was.

He didn't understand the joke Askan was telling.

He didn't understand whatever game Askan thought they were playing.

It just felt mean. His eyes fluttered open and ever so faintly his body shook, though it was hard to tell if it was from the cold or the fear that was slowly gripping him. And maybe it was both because not even Cottongrass himself could tell anymore. He licked his lips and managed a weak smile that felt forced. "I — that isn't — I don't get it." He stuttered out, expecting the older wolf to explain the big joke. Even tried to make himself laugh because that's what Askan wanted, right? But he didn't feel like himself.

And unable to help himself Cottongrass rose to his feet, backing away from the man before him. Because he wasn't going to go anywhere with them. His ears rolled back against his skull and he pinned his tail between his hind legs.

COTTONGRASS

(This post was last modified: Apr 21, 2017, 11:19 AM by Cottongrass.)

Askan didn't understand either. Why was he being like this? Reacting as though he were being punished, wounded even. What had he done wrong, were his words so awful that they warranted this sort of response? Thinking back Askan couldn't help but say no, they'd been nice words, good words. And he'd meant them too, by now Cotton was a part of their rag-tag family. He didn't fit in anywhere else so it seemed only natural that he'd join the Rye pack. How did the saying go, birds of a feather stick together?

And yet Cottongrass seemed as though he couldn't get away fast enough, as though Askan was one of those venomous snakes Reyes had once told him about. Was it such a repulsive thought? That Askan considered him...well that he liked him, more or less. That was more than enough to yank the mirth off of Askan's face. He didn't feel good anymore, he felt bad, like he'd done something wrong. Oh how the tables had turned in such a short time. And perhaps it would have been easier to deal with if the Selwyn knew why Cotton was freaking out, but for the life of him he didn't. It was a mystery.

He wouldn't admit it, but the rejection hurt. Askan could see it as clear as day on Cottongrass' face. Not quite repulsion, but unease that clearly spelled out that he wasn't going any-fucking-where with the Rye wolf.

Askan's tail lashed behind him for a moment, before tucking between his tail in rigid curl. This was not going well, at all. And yeah, sure, he could forcibly drag him back home but was that what either of them wanted? Hell no. If he did that then Cotton might as well be his prisoner, which was a heinous notion in of itself. There was one question bouncing around in his head, echoing so loudly that it blocked out all the other thoughts in his jumbled mind.

Gritting his teeth, Askan pulled his gaze away from the pale loner and instead stared at the white scenery below. White white white, that's all it was. So plain and monotonous.

"Why? I thought'd you be happy." Askan eventually said once he'd managed to pull together some sense of reason and self control. "I thought you'd...I thought you liked us...Fine, I was wrong. Sorry."The word was bitter on his tongue, like ash.

Cottongrass couldn't help but just feel confused and trapped. Like Askan knew all of his secrets and the older wolf was taking it upon themselves to mock him. And a part of him—a very small, rational part of him—knew that it wasn't like that at all. He still felt vulnerable. Because didn't Askan know that Cottongrass already had a family? Before he could fully register it, Cottongrass found himself talking. Spilling out words like that would magically fix everything even when he knew it never did.

"I - I - I have a family." He stuttered out, trying to make eye-contact for the briefest second before he shied away. "And they're, they're, mean and horrible and I—" Hate them so much. But he couldn't bring himself to say that very last part. They were his family and you weren't supposed to abandon family even when that's just what Cottongrass had done all those months ago. He just felt so guilty and wrong. With a sharp intake of breath he tried to steady himself, to quell whatever dumb panic that was trying to take over. "They're far away, okay?" And it was more to remind himself than to drive the point home for Askan. But his shoulders stopped quaking and his breathing came easier. "It's just that, it's just that—"

His family was far away and—

"You're my friends." He whined out, taking a stumbling step towards Askan. They were his friends and he liked them a lot. Even when they sometimes hurt his feelings or made him uncomfortable like right now. And he didn't know why but the idea of them being his family just made him scared. Because his own family didn't even like him, how were they supposed to?

It was a risk he couldn't bring himself to take.

COTTONGRASS

Cotton had this all mixed up, or perhaps it was the other way around. Maybe it was Askan who was the fool and had somehow misconstrued the situation and ruined things in the process. How typical, the Selwyn couldn't touch a damn thing without it breaking.

When the Selwyn had claimed that he was now part of the family, he wasn't trying to undermine the one Cotton already had. If anything, it hadn't even occurred to him that his words could be taken as such. He'd just assumed that everyone felt the same way that he did, that as much as he loved his true family, they were a thing of the past and the pack was the present and the future. But Cotton didn't simply leave it at that, he went on and Askan realised why the topic of family was such a touchy subject.It wasn't as though this was his fault, he couldn't have known- he'd never even said- but Askan felt bad nonetheless.

No, he felt awful. Whatever sort of family Cotton had surely it was for the best that they were left far behind, out of sight and out of mind. And yet, the kid seemed devastated by this fact, as though he had done something wrong by abandoning them. As though he had sinned.

It was all getting rather close to home and Askan couldn't help but swallow thickly at the increasing tightness in his throat. He'd never imagined that they would have anything in common, but here they were, two runaways who still felt awful about it all these months later. He'd hoped that the pain and guilt would dissipate and go away, but it never had. And he didn't need to ask Cotton to know he'd felt the same. It was just so hard and to know that Cotton was dealing with all of this shit alone with a goofy smile on his face. He was far more stronger than Askan had ever given him credit for. He almost felt as though he should apologise for all the things he'd just gone ahead and assumed.

Clearing his throat, Askan tried to level out his voice. It wouldn't help the situation if he was getting all croaky voiced as well."We are, course we are. And... I always thought that family isn't always something you're born into. You sometimes have to find it, make it your own. Sometimes friends and family overlap, they're kind of one and the same. What I'm trying to say is that you dont have to stick with the one you were born with. If they were horrible and mean then there's nothing wrong with choosing your own. It's your life, live it how you want. "

They were good words to live by, similar to those he'd been told by his Father a few years back and yet Askan couldn't help but feel bad for following them. For following his heart instead of doing his duty.

After everything was said and done, Cottongrass couldn't help but feel exhausted. Like he just finished bawling his eyes out even though all he had just done was sniffle and stutter. His chest ached and his body felt heavy, but he continued to stand. And slowly—slowly—the tension left him. He sucked in one last messy breath and licked his lips before finally, he looked up into the yellow eyes of Askan.

"Okay." He mumbled, suddenly unsure of what else there was left to say. Because Askan was smart and full of good advice, even if that side of him only came out after Cottongrass started getting overemotional. But that was okay. Askan was his friend and so was Reyes. And maybe one day soon he could call them his family without thinking of his old one, the one that continued to haunt him even when he was miles away and trying so desperately to just forget. But today wasn't the day.

There was something akin to embarrassment flaring up under his cheeks, face heating up because what was wrong with him? Freaking out over all the little things. Almost ruining the only relationships he had with others. It all felt too familiar. But he forced himself to breath, nod his head and go over what Askan had said moments ago. And he sighed—

"Okay." His ears twisted forward and shyly he looked at his friend, a shaky smile making its way across his features. "Can I — can I go now?" And he hated to be rude now that there was some kind of understanding between them. But he swayed on his feet and he couldn't help but blink slowly, tempted to just close his eyes and drift off where he stood. It would be easy. He was already beyond tired and he sort of wanted to wander off and sleep for a few hours. Maybe pretend that none of this happened before moving on in his life.

He wanted to run away. Wanted to get as far away as he could from Askan and Reyes because he felt stupid and childish and wrong. But if either of them really wanted him to stay... Cottongrass just might listen without getting all weird, now. They were friends.

COTTONGRASS