Wild Rye Fields It's not that easy

The vehemence with which Askan spoke took the older wolf aback.  His head jerked upwards, silver eyes as wide as twin moons.  As he studied the beta, he found nothing but open honesty in the man’s face.  If there was one benefit to the Selwyn’s readable expressions, it was that it was simple to judge if he was trying to pull a fast one.  Frankly, he barely registered the nip at all.  It took far longer than usual for him to process the words; they weren’t difficult, but the concept, at its core, was one he’d struggled against for seasons on end.

What was enough?

When would he ever find it?

“I remember,” he croaked, unable to muster up anything else.  Remembered very well.  But that advice was difficult to take, at least in the moment.  Reyes felt like a puppy again, still on wobbly legs as he stumbled forward, wanting nothing more than to rest his chin over his mate’s shoulder and stay there.  His tail lashed again.  “It’s hard.” Which was no reason not to do it, he suppose, but still.  He was tired.  He was so tired.

But at least – at the very least – Askan wasn’t about to leave him high and dry for Adelayde, or some other, more well-adjusted wolf.

“You’re the only reason I bother with ‘em.  At all.”

Askan sighed as Reyes stepped forward into his embrace. Honestly, he was relieved that he still wanted his touch, that it didn't repulse him. It was a silly thought really, more than a little paranoid of him but it was a fear he had nonetheless. Aside from shoving it out of the way, out of sight out of mind, there was little else he could do. He was supposed to be helping his mate feel better, not lingering on pointless woes. Old habits died hard, he supposed.

The Selwyn was under no illusion that was this was easy for Reyes. It had to be hard, an uphill struggle that at times he no doubt felt as though it wasn't worth the effort. But it was, it really was. They had a home now, somewhere they could all their own with their own den, filled with all sorts of crap that they liked. His partner made it clear he was the only reason he was staying, but the thought of him leaving still swirled around in Askan's mind.

He'd been fine before without him, but wasn't that because he just didn't know any better? That you can only miss something once its gone? To say that the Guardian would only miss Reyes made it sound so arbitrary, so insignificant. As though he'd misplaced his favourite chew stick, rather than the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

"Aren't I lucky then? Really lucky. That said, most people aren't worth dealing with, so we're on the same side. Always will be."

That had been the deal from the start, when they'd agreed to make this a long term thing, and the terms hadn't changed at all. Nor would they ever. This was just between the two of them, and if anyone tried to stick their heads in then they could fuck right off.

The two of them against the world, that sounded really good and was more than enough to put a little smile on the Selwyn's face.

"Icicle though, what a fucking twat. I should have seen this coming." He grumbled."Swear if I ever see him again I'll kill him, you want in?" He pulled back a little and gave him a boisterous head bump, smirking all the while.

 

At the very least, Askan’s casual dismissal of his mate’s disregard for the majority of wolf kind was met with a weak chuckle – but it was an honest sound, and one he meant. As much as he didn’t care for other members of his species, he loved his mate all the more. Perhaps he wasn’t quite ready to engage in the eager chatter or the sharp back-and-forth he and the beta had become accustomed to, but Reyes stepped forward to press their faces together before drawing back. He inhaled deeply.

He was okay.

Had a bit of a meltdown just now. Be he was okay. And if he wasn’t okay at the moment, than he would be, soon. He had Kana. He’d be okay.

He’d be better than okay, really – might take some time to get there all the way, but he would. For the first time, in a very long time, Reyes had faith he would get there in the end. “Yeah, I want in,” he replied gruffly, tail swishing behind him idly. He met the head bump easily, though the yawn that followed was barely stifled. “Could use a nap now, though.” Emotions were fucking exhausting. “C’mon, mi luna. Plotting later. Nap now.”

He nudged the younger wolf, turning slowly towards the shared den. Shit. Life was way better than okay.

Fade.